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MI (30) have been married for 9.5 years and in a long distance marriage.
My husband (40) who lives in a different country came during the recent festival and tried to set fire to the cylinder. He also shouted a lot….dragged me in the house, abused me and opened the front door of my apartment and shouted that I am involved in some activities and people should come and see what happens at my flat at night. He threatened that he would create a big ruckus and tarnish my reputation if I don’t visit his family and act like everything is fine between us. He said he would use my wifi to threaten certain politician and their party office and get me arrested. He also tried to burn the Quran.
Eventually I had to go and visit his toxic family where I had to pretend that everything is fine as a strategy to keep myself safe. He has now left but would be coming soon again.
Everytime I have tried to leave him he threatens of self harm and make a video implicating me like Atul Subhash. He is abusive and now I feel in physical danger with him. I don’t know how to leave. My mental health has deteriorated so much because of his continuous abuse that I am unable to even do a job.
I don’t want a penny but whenever I hint at parting our ways he says that he would not give divorce and just leave me in lurch as a punishment. I have never been so helpless. Please advice. -
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MTake whatever precautions you can against those threats. Block his number change your address. Make sure he can’t contact you or your family. And if he wants to harm himself let him. He’s just giving empty threats don’t take those so seriously. Protect yourself first go somewhere where he won’t find you. Talk to police. Try and get help from someone influential you trust cause that helps a lot with police.
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MHis house and my parent’s house are in the same locality with a lot of mutual acquaintances. It is difficult to do that. I don’t know anyone influential. I am simply a woman in academia and my connections are nothing beyond that.
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MHis parents also toxic? If they’re not toxic tell both your parents and go to some relatives or somewhere safe. It’s not safe for you anymore to just wait there.
You need to get help. Talk to someone you trust. I don’t know who. But one thing is sure you can’t wait around for him to come back and hurt you more. Inaction is really not an option.
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Eyour story starts with your husband doing this and that. any sane person will understand that there is a reason for doing so.
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WThere are ZERO reasons as to what would explain her husband physically abusing her.
Your response was insensitive and downright stupid.
For the record there is never a reason just justifies one spouse hitting another. Male or female.
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Ein almost all middle to lower class families hitting and beating happens on bimonthly basis for one reason or other. that’s the reality. unless the reason is mended, indian judiciary could not do an inch change in that. and your ideality sucks for definite reasons. such actions are impulsive and courts have zero solution to correct them.
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NYou can buy a table top camera that will record audio and video. And it’s small so you can disguise it and record next time he comes.
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SHey, I see it’s already 9 months since you posted this before. Please take an action, help yourself. Come out of this now, you don’t need to fear anything. You are very brave and strong. He is nothing compared to you. There are many redditors who would be ready to help and might be in the same city. Let’s deal it. We all are there.
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PYou don’t have to ask his permission to file for divorce. Based on what you’ve mentioned you can use cruelty as the ground to seek divorce. In the petition you can give all the details including threatening to self harm and whatever you’ve mentioned and other things that you are experiencing. [https://divorcebylaw.com/best-contested-divorce-lawyers-in-bangalore/](https://divorcebylaw.com/best-contested-divorce-lawyers-in-bangalore/)
Also, file a Domestic Violence case against him. Again give all the details. Ask for protection orders. Next time when he comes down, he will not be able to come close to you. Either you can stay wherever you are at present or change the house if that is necessary for your mental peace. [https://divorcebylaw.com/domestic-violence-lawyer-in-bangalore-india/](https://divorcebylaw.com/domestic-violence-lawyer-in-bangalore-india/)
If you cannot muster the courage to file these cases, install CCTV cameras (secretly) which records audio as well as video. Then approach the police for protection. But if your safety (life & limb) is in danger, don’t do this. No one deserves to be beaten, abused or threatened .
For further clarification, you can consult us [https://g.co/kgs/ZHwbVjN](https://g.co/kgs/ZHwbVjN)
**Disclaimer:** In the absence of all the facts of the case, the comments given may not be the best solution for your case. One on one consultation with a legal counsel/ advocate is advised to get better guidance.
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PThe entire legal machinery is with you, sister. Until the laws change, nothing to feel threatened by these Atul Subhash like cases.
Also ya, get at least one evidence of what he does to you. I mean as of now, I can see that he’s scaring you lest there be any evidence (telling you to behave as though everything is fine and stuff). Also, please buy pepper spray and keep it with you at all times, without him knowing of course.
Remember: It is him, not you to be afraid. One police complaint by you and he’ll be inside the bars
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MHe is politically well-connected. I know about his relatives who have gotten away after committing heinous crimes. My parents are ill and old. It’s me alone against his entire clan.
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PReach out to Deepika ma’am: https://x.com/DeepikaBhardwaj?t=B2-TtD8taWBNjwssjC92Lg&s=09
She is a really helpful and bold lady.
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