- This topic has 53 replies, 54 voices, and was last updated 1 year, 2 months ago by
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SWe met on a arranged marriage platform and liked the profile.
Our first talk was in person in a temple with both side’s parents present on October 2024.
Since we liked each other, we proceeded for the next step. Note that during the first meet itself we discussed about our relationship status & we both said we never had any relationship.
Our engagement was on November 2024. We were both happy with the things going on.
Our marriage was on March 2025.
During the pre marriage period we went to small trips to nearby areas, attended concerts, went for shopping and all.
She never said anything to dislike this marriage or about any past relationship.
Even when i mentioned about my friends who are in live-in relationship, open relationship she did not say anything.
She even said that relationship before marriage is not her thing.
After 7 days of our marriage i found photos & videos of her having a full blown physical relationship with her boyfriend.
They even shared hotel rooms together and did the deed whenever they got the chance to meet.
Note that the hotel room incidents are after engagement and even 1 month before our wedding.
On one occasion she went for wedding shopping alone and shared a room with him just one month before the wedding.
All the while she would also go out with me for shopping, events etc., and be fully happy with me.
She did not show any signs of discomfort or anything.
After i found the photos & videos i asked her about it.
She blatantly lied there is nothing between them, only after i asked about the photos she accepted and said that she has a relationship and it is continuing even after our marriage.
She also said she cannot end that relationship and we can get a divorce.
When i asked why did you accept the marriage proposal, she said that because of parental pressure.
There was multiple occasions i asked her is there any problem, relationship, parental pressure and if there is, just give me hint, i will call off the wedding saying that i don’t like you.
But she never said anything. Even if she gave any indirect hint, i would’ve cancelled the wedding.
Now the problem is i have a stable high paying job while she resigned from her job after engagement.
I have all the photos & videos & her accepting the affair video.
I’ve consulted some lawyers and they said we can file a cheating case on her.
We’ve spent around 30 Lakhs on the wedding. After a meeting with her parents & their side of family, they are saying that they cannot give the marriage expense.
They are also threatening me with dowry harassment & saying they will remove me from my job.
They are also saying if i do not obey them, they will delay the divorce proceedings.
what are some practical steps i can do.
Thanks in advance.
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SUnfortunately mate, based on the legal setup your screwed. I’m not sure in what sense the lawyers you met informed of cheating, adultery is not a crime(unfortunately) and trying to push off the entire marriage as a cheating is an uphill battle and unlikely to fall in your favour. Moreover, even on a short-lived marriage they press for alimony and maintenance. Best to negotiate, cut your losses and get out of it ASAP. if possible explore options on annulment rather than a divorce
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BScary stuff man. More power to you. Will pray that you come out of this thing stronger. I am no lawyer, but I think parting your ways is the best thing you can do. Forget about the marriage expenses. My cousin bro is also in a similar situation and he is fighting for divorce and custody of the child. But you don’t have and kid with her so that’s good.
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DHi. Lawyer here. Collate as much evidence as you can, such as WhatsApp chats, videos, photographs etc. Alimony also depends on the longevity of the marriage so don’t sweat it as of yet, besides several other factors. But from what the situation is and the kind of rowdies they appear to be, to the extent possible, choose riddance over money. You can also file a police complaint bringing to the notice of the police as to how you’re being threatened by them, such pre-emptive action might help you later if they file some shit. You can file an annulment petition as well, but it has its own set of challenges. So if she’s ready for mutual, best to go with that.
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AA lot of men reading this post would probably hit the marriage market in a few years. Could you please retrospect and share a few things which you could’ve done differently in order to avoid this or find out about her affair? Some red flags you might’ve ignored initially? I know you are already going through a lot but this could really help a lot of people prevent this from happening.
May God bless you, our support is with you during these tough times!
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SMy friend is in a relationship with this girl and she is getting AM soon. She is not leaving him and spends time with him. She wants to enjoy as much as she can before she gets married and I don’t know if even after marriage she will stop doing this.
She says that they aren’t engaged so she can have fun with her bf.
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SContact Deepika on Twitter – https://x.com/deepikabhardwaj?s=21&t=13b6AIWORDhr4lRzoaaCFA
She will guide you as she has good experience on this field
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IKeep proof of everything. They will file cases against you with fabricated points taken from other random cases. As per IPC 195 it is a criminal offense to file false cases, if things go to court, counter it by filing IPC 195 against her with proofs. That’s the only way you can put her on backfoot, otherwise she has all the power. Don’t lie in court and don’t tell her in advance that you will counter sue.
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DGet mutual divorce bro. I’m in same boat as you except she left after 2 weeks. I’m being grilled in fake 498a and other cases and paying maintainance every month to her. It’s been 4 years, no hope of getting divorce. Even during divorce, she is going to get alimony from me. That’s the law for men. If you have a chance for mutual settlement, please go for it. 30L is not a big deal in long term. Peace is what you need. Trust me. Go for mutual divorce.
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ASee all the suggestions and comments i read were right, i will suggest you to collect as many evidences as you can, keep a voice recorder with you everytime and turn it on while you are having any conversation and make sure it is hidden ( you can buy a tiny one and keep it in ur pocket)
If possible hire a detective who will click her pictures while she is out with a guy
Its our bad luck that we have to do all this and a women has a lot of powers yet they rant like …leave it.
Be quick buddy, dont take it lightly or delay it
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IThis is just sad destroying your life. Okay boy here you are not gonna let this go easily. Tell her family tell her friends tell her colleagues about what she did. If she visits him frequently most probably the parents also knew and they want to quickly marry her off to you. If she drags you through the court. You take her with you, no need to be nice. Find a kick ass good lawyer, have a settlement money pay like 50% to lawyer. Don’t need to apologise or sulk.
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MHey, I am sorry you are going through this. My husband cheated and i am having hard time getting the divorce. And I spent a major part of my hard earned money on him during marriage and even post separation. I am sharing my suggestion after going through months of turmoil and seeing how divorce cases really work
I know you will right now and you want justice. But sadly indian courts will not give that to you. As when she was being physical with her boyfriend i don’t think in “,legal” terms it is constituted as cheating. Emotional cheating is also not considered as cheating. If they file cases against you, yes it would be very difficult for them to prove it, but they are right, they will delay divorce proceedings. And you will just be going around the court with no justice.
I don’t know if you can get the divorce annulled then do that. Or else just go with mutual divorce, there is no better deal here. Most of the contested divorce ends up in mutual divorce. High probability yours will too because for court it will be a trivial case. Take your loss and move on.
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INot a lawyer, But first keep your calm & don’t act impulsively. What’s happened cannot be changed, At least you got to know early about this person.
Try to involve both families & settle for mutual separation. Keep your interests safeguarded at all times, & Stop complete contact with your wife. Make sure all legal & financial trackings are kept separate, Threatening won’t do. Also police won’t do anything in these cases, Try to involve elders & any mutual relatives who are close can close the matter. Forget about the wedding expenses no one will reimburse it, Moral is we should stop keeping the people happy rather keep yourself happy. Spending 30L on a wedding is it really required ? Very assertively tell your wife that you don’t want to continue any further & her presence does bother you. Ask her to leave the house immediately till legal separation is done. She will understand once put properly that you cannot sail on two boats, This situation needs to be handled with maturity & patience. As things won’t go in your favour so easily. Once she agrees and her parents agree to her misdeeds then you can file for legal mutual separation. Impulsive & aggressive behaviour won’t help. Also don’t be scared, No one can simply file a dowry & harassment case just because he wants. -
NNAL
Considering it is less than a year since you registered your marriage. Best is to discuss with your wife calmly and get a annulment.
You can not do Mutual divorce with consent yet, as it requires marriage to be 1or greater than 1 year old and you gotta show separation of 6-12 months I.e. you two are living separately.
So best is discuss with her in a calm composed manner, hold your frame. Get her to consent to an annulment.
Better to get a lawyer prep up as what to do and then discuss it with her.
If you involve families things will get very bitter. Make her understand this as well. Let her know that you don’t have any problem with her starting fresh with her boyfriend, it’s her life and she has freedom to choose. But if she doesn’t cooperate and end up sharing things with family then you won’t be able to help her get out of this situation peacefully.
Get a good female lawyer OP.
All the best. -
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CTell them that if they don’t do everything right, your phone could be stolen and this evidence could be leaked. Of course, be careful not to be recorded or have evidence against you. Ask for the return of the dowry and the wedding expenses and that she or he not tell anyone about this story. Sometimes you have to go lower to protect yourself.
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MMakes me understand why hiring an expensive spy to come to know about her history is so important.
Sad that it had to go this way, you’ll lose money but I’d say just give the money and get it over with. Don’t try and fight this case long, it’s not worth it and the system isn’t going to support you as well.
She will just keep filing cases on you, any siblings, parents, relatives and ‘n’ number of cases if she hires a good lawyer
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BMost practical solution is be with her but live your own life. You have already spent the marriage expenses, and if you’re good enough – you’ll make that bank back in your life with your job and investments.
Put all of your money into a shell account or your mom’s account. All your investments too. So that she can’t claim anything in the case of a divorce.
Become unattached and don’t feel bad for yourself that you got into this mess. Get your own girl and live your life.
Filing for divorce is the most headache thing in my opinion. You’ll lose more in the long term than you have anything to gain. Unless she is threatening to destroy your life with fake 498A cases – don’t go that route. Stay unattached, maintain a fake status quo.
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RI know this is harsh. But these are the consequences of marrying a total stranger. The idea of arranged marriage only works in close knit communities. Take the time to date and actually get to know each other next time.
As for getting your money your best bet is to lawyer up and take it to court. Make sure the parents are aware that there are potentially embarrassing photographs that may embarrass their family. If you’re lucky they’ll reimburse the expenses without a court case. -
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Cforget abt the money u spent on wedding its all gone.. not just that even gifts and jewellery ur family must have given her in wedding are now hers u cant demand them back however whatever gifts her family gave u all of that must be returned to them.. so all the money u spent in wedding is gone & u must forget abt recovering it.. as most comments so far have mentioned she will now slap wave of fake cases against u to get as much alimony from u as possible so instead of thinking abt that 30lac u better start thinking of future.. I suggest u also inform ur HR/Manager/Company abt ur situation so that if ur wife/in-laws try and come for ur job then ur company shall already have heads up on it..
ur best case scenario is to get the divorce as quickly as possible with least possible mess for urself and ur family.. though neither u or ur family are at fault yet the ugly reality is ur wife and her family holds all the cards.. all those videos and photos of hers that u have with u are of little to no value at all.. so if u thinking u can get ur way out then be prepared for 10-15 years long court case..
she is like tumor to u now.. just cut her off as quickly as u can.. in this process u will lose money which u can earn back but if u try and fight for this so called idea of justice then u will only further harm ur own life.. take fastest way out of this and move on thats the best u can do..
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FGet on a call with parents where they tell u they will file fake case . Record it.
Then divorce this cheating woman. Ask your lawyer to make them pay money since u have proof of cheating + their recording of fake threats….Leave her.
It’s women like this who bring the entire clan down !!
And be strong brother. It will be all worth it someday. -
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