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MI’m 22M, my ex (21F) and I were in a long-distance relationship. My best friend (23M), who’s also my college roommate, supported me a lot during our breakup and the family drama around it. He tried his best to keep things under control and was someone my ex also trusted because she used to share our issues with him.
I trusted him too, even though I knew he’s bad at handling money. He has borrowed money from me several times, but I usually just let it go to avoid ruining our friendship. He recently joined a new job in Bengaluru and will get his first salary soon.
Here’s where things went wrong: Just 14 days after my breakup, he borrowed ₹7,000 from my ex by creating emotional drama and claiming it was an emergency. My ex trusted him and even borrowed money from her own best friend to help him, because he promised to return it the same evening.
The worst part? He never told me about this transaction, even though we talk for hours on calls. When my ex tried getting her money back, he blocked her completely. She eventually reached out to me through a mutual friend and shared the payment proof.
When I confronted him, he first acted like he didn’t know anything about it. When I sent him the payment screenshot, he said, “I’ll look into it and let you know.” After that, he’s been ignoring my calls and texts completely. I even have a call recording of our conversation about the transaction and the payment proof as evidence.
Now, I’ve found out he has done the same thing to four other friends—borrowing money years ago and just avoiding them whenever the topic comes up.
We’re all in our 8th semester, and we’ll be meeting up at college in about a month for our major project presentation. I’m really confused about how to handle this. Should I try contacting him again, call his father, or do something else?
Would it be wise to confront him in person when we meet at college, or should I take a different approach? Any advice would be appreciated.
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FNot a lawyer ,You should meet and talk to him , after that if not call his father , till them just drop your friend a message and ask him if he is doing okay and if he isn’t trapped in a difficult situation .
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DAm sorry, but how does this concern you ? Take it as a warning and realise you’re better off not lending him money. As you apparently have previously experienced it yourself.
But this has to do with your EX. And you were not involved. So as a good will gesture, you did reach out to him and asked him about it. But you definitely don’t need to act as her proxy / loan collection agent. The best thing you can do is distance yourself from this situation, if you want after letting her know you tried. But yeah.
Move on already!!! Before you get dragged into needless drama.
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MYou’re absolutely right, and I get your point. But honestly, I feel terrible for my ex. She was already dealing with the emotional stress of our breakup, and then getting scammed by someone we both trusted just adds to her mental trauma.
During our relationship, whenever we met up, she covered most of our expenses because I was jobless and only had limited pocket money from home. She spent a lot on me without ever asking for anything in return.
I always felt guilty that I couldn’t pay her back after the breakup, but she never brought it up or made me feel bad about it. The least I could do was ensure she wasn’t taken advantage of by someone we both trusted.
So yeah, I know I shouldn’t get involved deeply, but I just feel responsible in some way. It’s more about standing up for her than playing a loan collector. This whole situation feels so wrong.
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DWell honestly, that’s rather commendable of you. And I didn’t realise what kind of a relationship you were in. I don’t know what your job situation is at the moment. But given your history with her and how she treated you. If you really feel like you owe her, tell her to give you a year or so you can personally pay her back for it.
In the mean time talk to your friend and ask him honestly what’s going on as well. You said he’s moving to banglore for a job. So he’s probably having a whole lot of stuff to deal with himself. And ask him to start paying it off, even if it’s a 1000 or so every month if he can’t pay everything all at once.
Clearly neither is this neither legal advice or possibly even a popular advice.
You’re just stuck in a rough situation between your so called best friend (at the end of the day however awful he might be at returning money, there’s a reason you call him that) and your ex. I just personally wouldn’t go as far as dragging his parents and such into this, I mean she is more than justified to do so. But it would hurt that much more if it were you to do that.
Either ways, hope things get sorted for all you guys in the best possible way.
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SIf you are working and in a position to return back the 7000 your friend borrowed from your ex, pay her and do everything to collect the money from your friend. While you are not responsible for her financial decisions, it’s easier for you to follow up with your friend and collect the money than her doing it. Again, you don’t owe her anything, it’s her poor financial decision.
It’s one thing to end the relationship on a bad note, but another thing to feel like you got scammed coming out of a relationship.
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