- This topic has 50 replies, 24 voices, and was last updated 1 year, 1 month ago by
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SI belong to dalit community age is 20 years old, never dealt with castism before April 2025, I have no one to explain how the peeps in my tuition whom I once called friends are telling me you can’t sit with us to eat, other things like that, when I told them about it hurts, they said just do suicide and don’t leave our name on note,
I can’t really stand up for myself and I am being looked down in front of whole class, I have exams scheduled and nothing else really matters but these things are taking their toll,
I am having thoughts that, my other caste friends might even make same jokes behind me when I am not around, I am not sure what to do
The last resort I have is changing surname, but how to convince my father, I can’t tell him I am facing such issues (just to give you perspective there’s nothing he can do here and that will haunt him so a clear no)
How to proceed legally for this procedure, I am making sure future generations won’t have to suffer these things, I am literally suicidal rn and want to kill them for compensation but that’s illegal too
Legally i know my rights with SC/ST act but, it’s not worth fighting for when my exams are just around the corner (CA inter sept 2025)
People have illogical hatred for Dalits and now I have logical hatred for all the other castes/religions/god’s/gurus/people
I want to break free of this caste hierarchy what are my options?? What else can be done (I have 5k in my savings personal with 5k more manageable so 10k in total)
I don’t want to feel like this ever again, if you too want to make me feel bad about taking birth go ahead 👍🏼
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ADon’t change, embrace. You have great past, a Buddhist past. We’ve been called outcaste by brahminists, who destroyed Buddhism, so now be a good person and help to destroy it.
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SOhh sure but by being one of them yk you all need some infiltrators first to break it from inside out
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AUse kumar a caste neutral surname, or verma, singh. All caste names were buddhist, verma is later form of baman, sharma is later form of saman. Gupta means hidden,safe protected. And NEVER TRY TO BILITTLE YOURSELF, NEVER LOOK DOWN UPON YOU. Never try to look at history through brahminical lense. I myself wasn’t aware of this, i knew brahmin bania, and i used to think that sc just means special category. But after 12th, i faced casteism in interview, “tumhara pura naam kya etc.” I learn about history through brahminical lense and went into depression, after some time when i focused on archaeological finding, inscription, manuscript and buddhism, i felt so good. All the best to you👍
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SI never looked down on me, never will what I want to do is build a legacy and along the way contribute to bringing out people up,
Have no faith in any religion, don’t need one now,
Never was a religious person never will be, but in a social gathering one is assigned a superior position based on just their surname and i want that
Only after that I can call out such goons and stuff
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EI am really sorry about what you are going through, those lowlifes are not your friends, you don’t need those kind of friends, use this pain as motivation and rise in your life and help future kids who go through your pain, in tamil nadu great directors like pa.ranjith and mari selvaraj came from same background they changed their fate and inspiring lots of kids from their community, love from sri lanka brother.
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SLove you too brother, and i am sure i will be big in life but at the same time I want basic respect
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SOK listen
My suggestion is:Don’t change the surname. Don’t hide your identity.
If you change your surname, that means you have surrendered in front of casteist big0ts.
Say that you are a proud dalit.
They aren’t your friends.
Suppose you will change your surname, and then they won’t tease you. But they will bully some other dalit guy.
Confront them. Be bold. Set an example. You can save many dalits from being mocked by them in the future.
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SLol there’s no such thing as proud dalit and everyone knows and deny that
Ik
No I am not scared of them teasing me actually, i am more interested in not being judged or harassed in future,
Yeah true they might harass some other dalit guy, but yk I can take stand for other dalit guy after having some brahmin sounding surname as the quote goes “a blind cannot help the blind”
Be bold about what? wanting to be treated as a human being?
No, I will book them under scst if things escalate nothing less than that
Every general till now told me to fight, but to fight you need logic and oppose hindu religion which might escalate things I hope u understand this
Also I think every general don’t want an SC having brahmin sounding surname cause they who’s there to discriminate with
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SListen mate you will always and always be mere dalit in front of these UCs no matter how much you pray to their god or how rich you become.
I was in denial for so long, but I slowly learned that this hatred isn’t going away anytime soon. So, harden up and stop caring about their opinions.-
SI just don’t want my kids to go through all this, yeah me too ik this hatred won’t change so changing my surname for good
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PMove out of India if you want to move away from caste BS. All generations are going to face casteism no matter the surnames. Word spreads. And UC chauvinism is rising day by day, it’s only going to get worse from now on bcz of rampant SM use.
I’m sorry for everything you’re going through. I understand why you won’t want to be involved in police cases. But ask yourself, do these casteist people deserve to be a normal member of society? Do they deserve to have a job with views like that? They will get married one day to a similar mindset casteist partner and raise their kids the same who will bully your kids’ generation.
It would be ideal if you could complain against them, these laws are rightfully made for people like you.
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SYes I will probably but for now, Changing surname can at least put my future generations in the creamy layer and they can decide where to move forward from there
I would like them to have a choice I never had, new surname won’t ever reveal my caste and when asked jat I can just say I am an atheist and start mocking every god
Irrational people don’t stand that and move on, rationals sometimes agree and don’t dig further in caste
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PDoes your last name clearly give away your caste ? For eg some castes are Sc/St status in one state but OBC in another.
Changing your last name has huge consequences – your mark and graduation certificates, passport etc.
Yes your dad already knows what you are facing. He has seen it all. Discuss your pain with him and listen to his advice – most likely he will advice you to forget these ppl.
Use the sc/st act liberally when such casteist folks insult you. That will show them.
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PYour father will never feel helpless – he is probably wiser than most. Pls spesk to him. He probably has seen 10x worse than what youte experiencing. Also share with others in your caste and ask them how they handle it.
I can easily say that it gets better once you enter corporate or move to the city but literally no one can advise you better than someone who is from your caste who has walked in your shoes.
Postpone changing surname by 3-5 years, you can change it to kumar / your fathers first name like south indians do. You literally cannot tell whos what caste in south india because of this.
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DEvery Bahujan at some point of their life faced this same situation so don’t worry it will pass just remember they only do is talk nothing more
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CYou have so many opportunities with reservation, why dont you utilise them and work for your betterment???
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ADon’t change your surname buddy
Be proud of yourself and your people
Nothing will come from pleasing other
People . All this upper caste people are not good themselves and u should not care about their opinions
All this upper caste people who take enormous pride in their caste and disrespect other humans are good for nothing and stand nowhere internationally or nationally
Education and awareness above all
And we all are indians firstly and lastly -
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DI am sorry that you are facing this my brother. I’m afraid I don’t have anything much to offer here other than empathy.
I have no hope that this country will get better.
But you seem smart, strong and reasonable. Power to you!
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SYeah I really want to but legal matters will take too much study time for now as well as mental health will be fucked due to this
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SMost ppl over your words like you can’t “dealt” with them
Exam is more important, today it’s casteism , when you go abroad to there is racism
, speaking from personal experience
Avoid it don’t let it into your head, these things are hard to escape.
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USo by changing your surname they’ll stop mocking you?
They won’t. Everyone knows who you are. If you really wanna stop mockery then just report them. That’s better than changing your surname.
The idea of changing surnames is really illogical and it shows you haven’t really thought much about it because of all the mockery. No need to change it go and accept yourself and report everyone who is mocking you.
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SOp, if you change your name then you will have to get it fixed in your metric and +2 marksheet aswell, which is a very hectic, tedious and almost impossible process since you are already a graduate
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BDont shy away and change ur surname. Stand ur ground and succeed in life. Ur success should be the answer to their mistreatment not ur name. Work hard forget these dumb ppl who will stay the same way their whole lives.
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UNAL.
Read ambedkar periyar. Shift to cities. Study cuz your life depends on it.
Focusing on these guys wont break caste system. You will face it again and again. Develop thick skin. All anti caste people need to unite and gain economic and political power. Thats the only way out.
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SAgreed but I want reasonable space from such people at all cost, having a different surname will at least save me from initial troubles
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CMy friend .. you have less saving but with them you can buy books written by Dr Babasaheb Ambedkar, Gail Omvedt to begin with. Read them with focus to enlighten yourself on the subject of casteism and discrimination.
You will not feel ashamed of yourself but will get a sense of relief. This is enough to put your head straight up and walk.Begin with annihilation of Caste ..
Thank me later
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SUgh why do people assume I don’t read and can’t walk my own path??
My problem is with the mentality of people as once said
“Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world
Today I am wise, therefore I am changing myself”-
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SA wise adapts rather than cry and struggle for no logical reason
Not justifying not fighting, but when you want to fight you need resources first and before the resources are taken care of i am not taking revenge or anything of that sort
I’m backing down, so that future generations won’t have to suffer for no reason, my surname screams SC so a bigger threat to my career than me not studying
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