- This topic has 67 replies, 52 voices, and was last updated 1 year, 3 months ago by
.
-
Posts
-
-
UA few days back I walked into my buildings elevator along with two kids ( perhaps between the ages of 9 and 12) walked in with me (For additional context I was fully covered , I was wearing jeans and a tank top but had a long cardigan over it with my hair open ).
They initially spoke in the native tongue which I believe they thought I didn’t speak about “ how big do you think they are , 36? 38? They would feel good” I let it go gaslighting myself into thinking they are young and I am wrong . Then the younger one faked a moan I still let it go thinking it’s a harmless prank . Once their floor arrived and they were walking out and as the lift door was closing they laughed and moaned again and that’s when I stepped out of the lift . I thought they lived in the building and had them ring the door bell no one answered and they said they don’t live here and only came to visit their friend to play cricket . I had a word with them but they still laughed so I took a picture of theirs and left .
My question is what am I legally allowed to do? If it was any random man on the street I would have slapped them but I don’t think I can do that with them? I spoke to the security and they said they can’t control who enters the building and doesn’t .
It’s disgusting to know that this has been normalised to such an extent that even kids have started to cat call and sexualise women . I don’t want to let this matter go as I don’t want another woman to feel disgusted or have self doubt like the way I was or even worse face consequences if the kids when grown older do something even more extreme than this .
Should I have slapped them ? -
-
UI spoke to them and they said “ bache hai mazaak karte hai “ and aren’t giving details of the parents
-
UJust slap the little shits if they try that again. Those parents are enablers, and you can always file a written note to the society management that such behavior is being enabled by these folks. Nothing will happen, but at least neighbors will know that they are not offended by creeps. Sorry that you were met with apathy but yeah not much you can do apart from this.
-
CSlapping them will backfire. Their parents will likely make a big issue and report you to the police. By slapping, you are committing a crime, and it could land you in serious trouble.
-
-
-
-
-
HA child cannot be convicted for criminal offences as per the law. If parents are being irresponsible and ignoring the behaviour of the child, and you sure that you want to take action; then report the issue to special juvenile police unit.
-
CIf I recall correctly, a child above seven years old can be held responsible for their actions, especially if they understand what they are doing. You can report the incident to the Special Juvenile Police Unit or the local police, who will take appropriate action, including counseling or involving their parents.
-
HUnder the age of 7 the protection is absolute.
From 7-12 there is presumption of lack of criminal intent. While the presumption is rebuttable, the burden lies on you to prove that child knew what he was doing and had criminal intent. But even otherwise, upto the age of 18 the punishment is mostly corrective and no real punishment is given.
Only in case of heinous offences committed by children between the age of 16-18, courts can decide to try them as adults. Otherwise, most of the times the punishment is corrective like community service, counselling etc. Remember the Pune Porsche accident case and the essay punishment. That is the norm when it comes to kids.
-
-
-
-
UDid you tell them specifically the kind of innuendos they were making or just say ‘Gandi baat kar rahe they’ ? (Because the later doesn’t really convey the seriousness of the issue). Be explicit about the kind of words they used , use those exact words in front of the parents and see if they still feel ‘bachhe haen’ – tell them they you are retrieving the images from the lifts’s CCTV and would complain to the police.
Make them understand how you plan to initiate actions against these kids and how the association of their own kids with these humbugs might tarnish their future if there are criminal complaints on their record as minors.
The key is to be very calm and polite during this conversation and make this a (you + neighbours) vs criminal kids and their parents issue , rather than a You vs neighbours issue.
A strong rap on the hands for these kids to let them understand the consequences of their actions at this point could be all the difference between the society getting 2 more deviants or not.
-
-
-
-
UTell them that if they don’t share the details of the parents of those kids, you will name them on the society group, share what those boys did and that they were supporting and enabling them. And say – lot of you are girl parents, please steer clear of this family! The threat should be enough for them to share the contact details of the boys’ parents. If not, then follow through and post on society group.
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
DTbh thats majority of the boys in that age group. But mostly they do it among their friends. I cleared my 10th in 2013.
Even when I was a kid in the primary section, boys would look at the teacher and stare at their breasts, try to look under the skirts of girls etc.
I studied in a reputed convent school. Those boys included my friends, classmates etc. That has been the norm since then and as I grew up I realized what’s wrong and what’s right and kids need to be taught that from a young age. You should confront their parents, only they can do something about it, no one else.
There are only parents who teach their kids and raise them well, others are raised by friends, internet and peer pressure.
-
U9-12 year boys eve-teasing adult women was the norm in your ‘reputed convent school’, for real ?
(Mind you, we are not talking about kids making dirty jokes amongst themselves as they discover puberty, but actually harassing real human beings – without shame or fear of consequences)
-
DYes that’s right. That’s how boys are, you don’t know what boys do or talk when they’re among themselves.
Men and boys both hide their true personality and people just don’t get it. Yes eve teasing is normal irrespective of whether it’s common tier 2 school or a reputed convent school. It’s the parents fault and that’s why there should be strict laws for minors too.
These kids don’t have fear for what can happen to them, even in 8th grade I would see my peers teasing girls etc.
THEY WERE FROM WELL OFF FAMILIES, I didn’t even have a 2nd hand activa and they had extra cars too spare.
-
Ulol – what. I don’t know what boys do or talk when they’re among themselves?
Maybe I don’t know what closet sexual predators do – but as a person who has walked around with a dong between his legs for 3 and a half decades, I pretty much KNOW WHAT MEN AND BOYS talk about. (Atleast the normal ones).
Also, do you ever wonder if those kids ‘being from well off families’ was the reason for the lack of fear of consequences? What kind of mafia sickos did you go to school with.
Multiple studies have proven that deviant / predatory sexual behaviour often starts with people normalising and internalising the same during their formative years – believing this is how the world operates or is supposed to operate.And that there’s nothing wrong with them.
-
DI went to school with normal boys, with a 72 kids per division.
Each division had atleast 40 boys and out of 40 around 20 were like this for sure. Many come from decent families others come from well off families and out of say 20 only 2 people would be from middle class like me.
If you don’t know what boys do and objectify then maybe you too are part of the problem.
No seal no deal, pink pussy, calling out influencers, the common use of R WORD. People who are better than me in terms of career and family are the one’s who have this approach, SO THAT’S WHY UPBRINGING MATTERS.
-
-
-
DPlus majority of the guys I know who objectify women, rate aunts and teachers, they peek in closely while girls walk by them or try to touch them. If you confront them you’d find out majority of them come from decent families and hardly few of them come from chawls or slums.
So it’s not even a matter of education. IT’S UPBRINGING AND OUR LAME LAWS AND THE DIFFERENCE IN WHICH ELDERS TREAT BOYS AND GIRLS.
I am 27 (M) .
-
-
-
-
RI was being constantly harassed by this asshole of a kid barely 8 years old, he would start screaming shit like oh gf gf gf and make it awkward for me. Once I found out where he lived from our community’s directory and walked into his house and calmly explained to his mother. His elder sister chimed in saying he teases her too and mother went on to blame wealthy kids of my community bullying him, and other external influences. But the little shit was grounded for a year maybe. I have recently started seeing him again in the playground but he steers clear from me. You should have called the police in this situation and immediately recorded these assholes. Police would have counselled kids and parents both.
-
SGood job. I was under the impression that at least the boys that grow up with a sister, become better people.. but sigh!
-
USome people are inherently like that. It isn’t the circumstances that makes them.. either they’re good kids or little shits like this… Me having a sister didn’t get to make me be a decent human nor would the hypothetical case of my sister not existing would make me turn into a little creepy like these kids.. atleast fear of judgement will keep these little shits in control.. but their parents are delusional and won’t trust OP. I hope OP resolves this and takes her mind off this soon
-
-
-
CFirst of all, I am really sorry you had to go through this. What happened to you was absolutely wrong, and you have every right to take action.
I’m not a lawyer. From my very limited knowledge, legally you can take the following steps:
1. File a Complaint: You can approach your local police station or contact the women’s helpline (1091) and report the incident. Since the harassers are minors, the case will be handled under the Juvenile Justice Act, but that does not mean they will face no consequences. Their guardians will be called, and they will be given a warning(most probably, but they will think twice before repeating) or sent for counseling.
2. Legal Provisions: The behavior you described falls under Section 509 of the Indian Penal Code (IPC) (word, gesture, or act intended to insult the modesty of a woman). Even though they are minors, this law applies, and the authorities can take action. Section 354A IPC (Sexual Harassment) may also be considered.
3. Involve the Building Authorities: Even though the security guard said they cannot control who enters, the building association has a responsibility for resident safety.
4. Speak to Their Guardians: If you can find out who they are, you can report the incident to their parents.
5. Avoid Physical Retaliation: While slapping them might have felt like the right response at the moment, it could lead to complications for you, as minors are protected under the law.
You are absolutely right not to let this go. If they are behaving this way at such a young age, intervention is necessary to prevent worse behavior in the future.
It is brave of you to stand up against this, and you should follow through with legal and social actions to ensure accountability.
-
-
-
-
VYes, you should have slapped them.
You need to call out such behaviour and instill the fear in them.
You need to embarrass the parents of the kids and also the friends parents who let this shit slide.
Just to ensure you stand protected, video record their behaviour so you have proof if shit goes south.
And try to slap them where there is no CCTV camera.
In India, it’s not enough to be on the right side of law..you need to play smart as well.
We have all been kids and no this is not how boys talk to each other.
-
-
UShould I have slapped them? A big yes. How you confront for the first time has a huge impact on anyone’s brain. You would have created havoc, showing the seriousness of the matter. Then they fear, and maybe learn and reflect on themselves. If you let any bad behavior go without seriousness, believe me, next time you will see more of it, and even your increased seriousness may not work
-
-
ZIn no western country you can do anything for those kids to say such thing to you. In India maybe but highly unlikely. What they said is not right but they are kids and you are an adult. As an adult u need to understand what and who you are dealing with. U need to learn to ignore these kids. Plz learn to ignore such things or u can humiliate them by saying” I heard what u said, and it is inappropriate”. Legally there is nothing you can do and be prepared to see more kids doing the same thing with you once the word spread. Learn to ignore and learn that no one cares for your feelings let alone these chickens which just hatched.
-
-
-
-
-
S>I spoke to the security and they said they can’t control who enters the building and doesn’t .
What does the “security” person do? It’s _literally_ his job to control who enters the building and who doesn’t.
-
USecurity guard cannot stop anyone if they are already allowed by a resident, the blame falls on the resident who allowed them inside as guests
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
UGirlyyy ek Mast pehle kheech ke lagana tha. Then confront their parents, if they don’t understand then go after them ki aapki parvarish toh aisi h. Shame them for being such good parents and.agr these guys do something good in future coz lakshan toh aise hi then ek lawyers ki team forever ready rkho. If this doesn’t get to them, then let karma do its work. Sit back and watch the damn circus
-
MI think you can report the kids to the police and ask them to handle it as a juvenile case. You can say you don’t want to file an FIR, you want the kids parents to be called to the station and cops to talk to them to ensure this doesn’t happen again.
As long as we don’t file FIR, cops can be very cooperative (sadly) so this is how I recently handled a situation (involving a grown man). Also should go with a lawyer who speaks The native tongue and bonus if the lawyer has connections. The cops should summon the family that lives in your building and get them to divulge the parents info, so request the same in your complaint. -
-
-
-
-
-
-
UMaybe bring it up in the society whatsapp group , name and shame . Or with the heads of the society.
Or just generally bring up how boys who come from outside are even teasing and it is becoming a security concern
Sadly adult males don’t face repercussions for eve teasing, I don’t think children will face any repercussions and you don’t have proof.
-
-
ROh my goodness. Are you really thinking of taking actions against small kids???
I’ve had 12-13 yo boys tease me and my gf in the past and even she had the sensibility to ignore them.
Once, I did get angry when they purposely threw a water balloon at her but even then I was obviously not going to hit them and even my gf stopped me saying,”bacche hai” and instead threatened to go to their parents.
You guys really have 0 tolerance whatsoever. It’s wrong but they’re kids.
-
U1) there is a difference between having a balloon thrown at and being sexualised
2) i have self respect and would accept no one talk to me like that
3) letting this slide is like condoning their actions and quite literally raising future rapist
So SIR respectfully the way how you are letting this go is what’s exactly normalising this kind of behaviour
-
-
UWow, this just brought back some memories. Our next-door neighbor’s kid, who was around 5–7 years old at the time, was someone I always knew to be very mischievous. One day, we were hanging out on our rooftop, and since there was no one else around, he suddenly pointed at my chest and said in Bengali, “They’re… nice.” I was dumbfounded. I tried to divert the conversation, but I noticed a smirk on his face, something I wasn’t accustomed to. I still wonder whether it was just a child’s innocent appreciation or if there was a deeper, more unsettling undertone to it.
-
