- This topic has 22 replies, 15 voices, and was last updated 1 year, 5 months ago by
.
-
Posts
-
-
BI am a 23M from hyderabad from a middle class family and last February my sister (26F) got arrange married to a guy(28M) who works in big four with a good package. And she is preparing for masters in dentistry.
Before their engagement when we got to hear about the matches i was against it cause my sister is still working as an intern after in her college.
But my parents are uneducated and old fashioned mind, thinking if she enters her late 20s it will be hard to find a match. Since medicine takes a lot of time to complete and to find a proper job.I know it’s a stupid decision to marry her off and expect to still study wothout worry. But when i met my brother in law for the first time and talked to him, he seemed very calm and collected person and organised. And even his family who lives in a district capital (not near hyderabad, Kinda rural surrounded) are educated, felt kind and open to my sister for her studies.
And here comes a big problem, As my father is uneducated and agreed to a huge sum of dowry or a piece of land in the municipality of the said district capital. And fixed with money. Generally, educated-women’s family gives dowry as little as it gets. I don’t know the legality of the dowry but as my sister is family we thought of it as her share of inheritance.
And my sister and brother in law were very understanding of each other and he promised to never demand for the money.
But as soon as the engagement was done their family slowly started showing their colours.For eg. demanding expensive function hall and food, which is beyond our capability though it will be split equally it is still a huge Amount. And so on with their antics.
And i warned and pleaded my parents to cancel the wedding as everthing started being fishy.
And they were afraid to do lose shame among relatives, which is dumb.And these past 11 months after marriage were full of tension & stress, because the brother in law and his parents slowly tried to push us away from my sis and slowly manipulate her as maid (She is a Dentist By the way). They both live very far away from us and the reason he used is rent.
Recently After knowing we are in works of selling the land near the said district capital with low price due to the loans. They are slowly trying to frame my sis as a bad person who always verbally hurts my brother in law, indirectly black mailing to leave my sis and extort the whole amount of the sold land. As well as the remaining dowry.
And I didn’t get into the brother in law’s behaviour, he is a f#ng psycho with and insane mood swings from kind to rude in a second for no reason and an big childish ego with insecurities. And acts contrarian just to be one for ego trip.
So after reading this, can any legal experts give a right path to take and what type of evidence needed if i file case against them for psychological abuse and dowry extortion from us.
Thank you.TLDR: As the title says, brother in law and his family trying to extort money by psychological abuse.
-
-
UDon’t care about future matches. What they are doing is a crime, warn them and if they do not straighten up walk out. File a case if you can.
-
BYeah.. This week we are meeting their family with close relatives to talk things out and if they cross a line there, We are going to file a case against them.
Cause there is a limit to things and if people’s words don’t work on them, i hope law and order take care of things properly. -
-
-
PFor the maid problem, your sister can hire a maid as she is already earning as dentist.
Don’t give any dowry to brother in law. You can also ignore his birthdays and anniversary and do not give him gifts.
Ask your sister to deposit all her stridhan in her bank locker. So she will have good sustenance for the future.
As for issues with brother in law, don’t discuss any of your internal home finances or property matters with your sister or brother in law.
The big thing is if both houses have separate finances without any interference then only both families can flourish.
If they keep on perusing asking for dowry again and again and abuses your sister then try to bring in your sister to her maternal home and record the conversation on mobile before doing anything legally.
Best is to call the police immediately after crime occurs and not after many days have passed.
-
BIt’s not about hiring a maid or something it’s about the backward mentality and the lack of respect as a woman. Since her in-laws are and live around rural areas they have this cunning sense of viewing things.
-
PYour sister took the decision to marry let her decide. Don’t worry too much if there is no violence.
After marriage It took a long time for a woman to adjust in a new surroundings and vice versa people around her also adjust to her liking. It is best to diffuse situations.
As for respect it is give and take. Since your sister is new member of their household give her time to adjust to her surroundings.
Forgot about what happened in marriage as it was past and you cannot change it. You cannot claim what was spent on marriage.
Taking Dowry or giving it is a crime. But sometimes people mix gifts which they voluntarily gave in marriage with dowry which is wrong.
Your sister is wise enough to take decisions for herself so trust her that she is old enough to make decisions for herself.
-
BI don’t know where u r from but where i come from and my background it doesn’t work like that. Thank u for your suggestion but I’m not leaving her on her own.
-
PSee you already said that you cannot leave your sister. You cannot let your sister go then why did you didn’t stopped the marriage. Why did you marry her. You can easily lock her in your own little showcase.
-
PAre you stupid? Did you even read the post ? The SISTER IS GETTING HARRASED FOR DOWRY.
Do you support dowry? That’s why you are getting all defensive?
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
URemember A Divorced Daughter/Sister is better than a Dead one . Just get her home and support her by contacting a good lawyer and counsellor. All the best
-
U^this, OP. I’m worried about your sister’s safety. Her husband and in-laws don’t sound like stable reasonable people. First, get your sister safely to your home on some pretext and only then take legal action. They might beat her or do something worse. Dowry deaths still happen especially in rural areas!
-
-
UThis is problem in many Indian households. They see wife nothing but glorified house servants. Regarding dowry or any verbal abuse record their statements with phone in secrecy.
Taking dowry is illegal. If they demand dowry or keeps talking about money and keep giving mental pressure.. go to police. No offense people like them should be in jail.
-
SYou have posted in r/LegalAdviceIndia so you will get the legal advice which is to ask you sister to file case on her husband and in-laws. Thats the only legal thing that is you can do. There is no legal provision in constitution which can suddenly make your sister’s in-laws not greedy.
You need to understand that if they are showing this behavior now, they will not stop. A person who is this greedy at this age will not suddenly become a good person. They will remain the greedy scums that they are.
Everything depends on your sister. If she is ready to file the case on her new family or simply wants divorce than hire a GOOD lawyer and file the case, if your sister is not ready for that, leave her be and stop talking to her in-laws. She will either disillusioned with them in few years or will adjust, and you can do nothing. As for your old-fashioned parents, tell them that you will stop talking to them and won’t care for them in old age if they talk to the in-laws. Basically, blackmail your parents by threatening them. This usually works on old fashioned people. Keep an eye on your parents’ property so that they don’t sell them behind your back to give it to your BIL. This will also protect your sister as if you accept their demand once, they will demand again and again and will again threaten your sister.
-
ROP you posted the Question in LegalAdviceIndia, not EmotionalAdviceIndia, Are you from TG/AP?
the best thing would be to start with raising a legal case of Dowry/Mental Harrasment,
Now for your sister’s betterment and yours, please understand that separation and divorce are the best remedy, it’s always better to have a divorced sister than a dead one,
Your family already made 2 mistakes:
1. Coercing someone to marry off because of social backwardness, come-on for a medico you’re selecting a family full of rustic money minded psychos hardly knowing them(just because what will family say), whoever took that decision deserves a slow clap.
2. Agreeing to Provide dowry(whatever you think of it as inheritence, if it’s actually inheritance it should be in your sister’s name not your as*hole of Brother in Law).If you really care about your sister’s life and education, and NOT future matches or family members rumours, then think beyond the social dynamics, both you and her are adult enough to take your decisions better than your Boomer Parents and their decade old charade of pleasing relatives.
-
VLawyer from delhi here!
Dowry is illegal in India and if demand is made a complaint can be filed with the local police station.
You should try and get their demands recorded either in words, audio or video.
If you don’t have these then witnesses can help proving the demand for dowry.
As you said your sister is being treated badly she can also file a complaint for domestic voilence on the pretext of curelty, mental and physical harassment.
This should suffice, consult a local lawyer and in case you wish to discuss in details feel free to reach out.
-
-
-
UPlease file dowry case… Mental abuse case… I can bet he most likely is also having an affair.. You can hire a detective to get this info…
Bring her back.. Get all your money back. Such people have to pay hefty alimony. Don’t leave them.. Ask for one time money which was spent by you and close it. She got her time wasted and had to go through abuse.. They have to pay.
-
