- This topic has 26 replies, 21 voices, and was last updated 1 year, 1 month ago by
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CMe and my wife both early 30s have been married for a five years.
She has a good job and makes around 4LPM , I have my own business which thankfully is doing well now. I’m puting back my all money in building a second one.my wife’s extravagant spending is out of control, and it’s become a huge issue between us. Despite earning really well, she basically saves nothing. She spends almost 95% of her salary on those BS luxury purses and bags that are absolutely unnecessary. Last year alone, she spent about fucking 40 lakhs just on bags.
It blows my mind. I can’t digest it at all.We constantly argue over finances, and it’s tearing us apart. 4 months ago, during a heated argument about her spending, I lost my temper and threw one of her new bag across the room.
I immediately regretted it , picked it up carefully and put it away, but the damage was already done. Since that day, she hasn’t really spoken to me properly.Whenever we spend time together, it always ends in another argument.
The only “good” moments we have now are when we avoid talking about finances at all which cannot be forever.I honestly believe she’s spending like this to cope with stress from her job so
I even suggested to see a fucking therapist and just don’t blow money recklessly but she flat-out refused. Only Bcz she doesn’t “feel like so”.I made similar post 3 months ago and after that we tried marriage counseling too, but it didn’t change anything. We’re still stuck at the same painful place. She thinks I am controlling her. Lol.
I was planning to start a family soon but l don’t want to bring a kid into a broken home so I want to mend my relationship with my wife which I am failing to do so coz I can’t talk calmly , whenever I try to talk we end up arguing. I ssly don’t know what to do know I don’t have peace at home at all , everyday it’s same story.
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VA lawyer here. I’ll strongly suggest you to accept one advice – never ask a lawyer whether you should take a divorce. It is your decision. I understand the confusion. I understand that you need to talk and discuss this through. But lawyers, and similarly this sub, are just not the right guys.
When you have a hammer in your head, everything appears like a nail – that is the same thing with lawyers.
Discuss this with your friends and family, or a counsellor. When you’ve made up your mind that you want to separate, it is then that you approach a lawyer. The question should not be “whether I should get a divorce?” That’s your piece to answer. The only question should be “how to get a divorce?”. That’s the place of lawyers.
I hope this doesn’t agitate you. But don’t ruin your marriage because a lawyer inspired you to.
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YDon’t know about your situation, but what kind of job pays 4 LPM , don’t bother answering if it’s software
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SAre you reading something else?
He didn’t say she is spending his money. Infact he said she spends 95% of her money.Typical man thinking, all women are gold digger even if she is digging her own gold.
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YAre you so dumb to not get the point?
The man is planning for future by saving money for the child / future.
Whereas the women doesn’t give a shit, she thinks the man needs to take care about their future.
She is only thinking about herself about the money she earns whereas the man is thinking about his family.
You just proved my point when you got triggered
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IMaybe if they are birkins or a good enough luxuary brand, it’s more of an investment. They appreciate really good. Even better after China got a free hand.
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Asounds like you have major descripancy in spending habits and seeing your partner go down an almost self sabotaging route can be frustrating and painful. As a women i understand why she thinks it looks like controlling but i feel this is a sign that this marriage wont wont unless you find ways to not be affected by her behaviour or she finds way to work on shared financial decisions or whatever it is that works for you 2. If you have tried this and it hasn’t worked and you sitll end up fighting about it and you have reached a point where your body is physically expressing the frustration like throwing the bag then its a clear sign that it will escalate and its better to take a break or call it off before it takes more control over you, you can always try individual therapy for yourself to see if you can detach from the impact of her behaviour, but i hope it’s worth it, i hope she sees your efforts to make this work and enrolls as well .
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RDamn. That woman is a child. You married a womanchild. Run brother run. She knows she has your money for the necessary and important things so she is just having a blast with her income. Before you it was her father. Imagine the reality check that she will get if she has no one to depend on financially. Oh I got to buy groceries? I got to pay rent? What is that? I got to save money for emergencies and investments? Who does that? Don’t people just do shopping with all of their income and buy pretty things they like?
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