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UHello, I 24F was sexually assaulted by my ex multiple times at workplace and once when he took me to his home promising he would do nothing but to show his new house. Then he tried to get physical to which I resisted. This happened almost 16 months ago. I have communicated properly multiple times that I was not comfortable to do anything before marriage and never did I give consent. Despite that he used to make physical advancements. On the top of that he used to manipulate me by telling that that is very normal thing to do when someone is in relationship and that I’m overreacting. At last, he used to make me feel guily for not giving in when he asks for it. That was my first relationship and I had no knowledge how people in love are. I was confused whether to accept all of it just because he was my bf or complain because it was against my will. I wasn’t in a position to realise that I was being trapped and abused. Professionally that period was very hectic and I used to get very little time for personal life and that time too.. either he would be talking to me or took me out. I never got time to properly sit down and think of it. And even after this, our relationship continued.
Recently we broke up and while going through it, I suddenly got an issue on social media (got multiple unknown friend requests on a single day) and I was terrified not knowing if that was coincidental or it’s him since he mentioned that people do such things to harass. Since I was grieving for so long, my family noticed and asked me what I was going through, I’ve told them everything. Then after discussing I realised how toxic he was, how much I was abused. I was worrying that he may trouble me in future and that I can’t live the rest of my life in constant fear. Then with my family support, I took courage and went to ps, since we wanted to go legally just to make sure we wouldn’t get any trouble in future.
In the ps, we were asked to register an fir and without that they would be able to help out informally. Then I did file an fir and since then, I was being called multiple times, for bharosa statement, medical examination, magistrate statement, etc. Telling to so many people those things I kept for myself so long and constantly revisiting those incidents have been mentally traumatising to me since then. Even my family got disturbed and broken down knowing what happened to me and experiencing these visits. Got to know that it takes almost 5-6 yrs to actually end the case and that we would be called to court too.. I’m presently not in a position to face all of that. We have already suffered a lot and yet more to be in the future. Although officially my name would be confidential, eventually everyone will get to know and I’m not ready to face the social stigma. My parents are also broken down.
Now, I’m not willing to pursue the case anymore. And when I told the same in ps, I was asked to give the magistrate statement. That if I want to get the case closed now, I should tell that none of the things mentioned in fir actually happened, it was all untrue and I did file complaint in rage. But how do I tell all that was false when it’s the actual truth. I really find it difficult to take blame all on myself when I was the one suffered so much. But seriously, I am not ready to go on with case since it’s very disturbing and affecting my career. I just wanted end all of this now, forget about it and focus on my career and move on in life instead of going on with case, suffering again, and in the future too regarding my marriage and all. I don’t everyone to know this which happens as the case proceeds. So I really can’t go on with case.
Tomorrow morning, I am supposed to give the statement in front of the magistrate. Feeling very much confused on what to tell, the truth or take blame on myself and tell that I falsely accused him. Is there anything that helps me in this. What if I tell the truth and say that I don’t want to pursue. Is there any way that doesn’t require me to tell false and gets me out of the case?
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