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UI think he has already married someone else. He leaves in the morning around 10 and comes home around 10 PM. I know very well that he doesn’t stay in the office. I have confronted him on many occasions and he’s beaten me over and over again. He threatened to kill me with a boti (fish knife) and said that he’ll kill me many times. Few days ago, he threatened me to kill by strangling me and beatn me with a rope. I’m finally done with him. I want to leave him but I don’t have any money and every savings I have is in his account. He’s a government employee and earns around ₹50k per month. I’m married to him for like 23+ years. My son also doesn’t want to live with him, but he’s a student and doesn’t earn. We live in a rental house. Can I get a divorce and alimony? I’m not very educated and at this age, I don’t know what can I do to earn. My son is saying he’ll quit studying and get whatever job he can but I want to let him complete his studies and don’t ruin his life for me. It’s impossible to live with my husband. What can I do?
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UActually, this is my son’s account. I don’t use reddit. He was saying that he’ll post it and I asked to do it myself. I hope it’s alright.
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UIt’s alright. Just mention it. Because of history of this account people are thinking this is a fake post. You won’t get genuine suggestions.
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UThis is my son’s account. I don’t use reddit. He said he’ll make a post and I asked him if I could do it myself. If that’s wrong, I’ll delete this post. Everyone is so focused on that part that they totally ignored my question.
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RHow’s he still getting salary with no work?
It doesn’t help you to get him fired or arrested via legal means.
Stop confronting him. Get your 23 yrs old son into work/ career so you both are financially independent.
Maybe you can think of certain work if have any skills or can learn.
Once financially free you can leave.
Then figure out if you wish to get alimoney or get him into jail for violence etc.
But it’s best to get away and not look back.
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UYour writing skills are top-notch. Being a housewife for 23 years and still having good writing skills is something to be worth appreciating.
Come up with better BS next time.
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UHonest opinion, you are in a difficult situation. You can’t do much.Tell your son to start earning and to look after you.
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UOk. Can I get any money from my husband? A bare minimum would do. My son is thinking of giving tuition to kids.
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UI don’t want to give false hopes. Since your husband is a government official ,he might have influence to a certain extent. Law is fked in india. Influential people will be favored the most.
Obviously, let’s not think this and if you still want to try. Ask your brother or son to look for a trusted lawyer. Most lawyers can be bought nowadays. He will guide you. The process will obviously take some money, and you shd be able to handle it.
Please remember that depending on your lawyer, can we see if it can become successful . It all depends on the lawyer.
I wish you all the best and sorry for my earlier remarks.
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FThese days home delivery of home cooked meals is very popular in cities. You can print a few pamphlets and distribute it locally. Once the orders start coming in, take the help of your son to deliver food to the customers or you can do that yourself too.
Anyone can make a living these days with so many options available. Heck you can even work part time as a Swiggy/Zomato delivery person for extra money. There is no reason to think you can’t do anything. You need to put in the effort my dear. Money doesn’t fall from the sky.
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UEven if this is the case, there’s nothing wrong..the kid is literally trying to help himself and his mom get out of a messy situation. I do hope they find answers here.
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PWait for your son to complete his studies and get a decent job. Meanwhile you can also find some ways to earn. For example, you can be a home tutor to kids. Or you can learn stitching and stitch blouse of women in your locality. I have seen women building fortunes out of this job. Till the time you find a stable income for yourself and your kid, you have to live with your husband.
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HWell I could’ve suggested you to hire a Private investigator but since you said you are in a financial crunch so there’s that. The lawyers will ask you to file a 498A straight up they can’t do much otherwise without it. First off you should get mahila aayog or some women empowering NGO involved. Women under a certain income bracket can also get help legally which is minimal to nil cost. There are counsellors etc provided too But you will have to get out of this situation. You and your son will be better off without the douchebag!
If he lashes out next time , record it and gather proof as much as you can please. It will immensely help you out during the trial. -
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SOP you are not wrong. If your husband is beating you, then that in itself constitutes a serious crime. Gathering evidence is a start, but in many cases that is not possible. In that case you can put together a detailed account of the events and approach the police and the court yourself. You can also get yourself checked in a government run hospital and obtain a medical report. Include the medical report in your case. The costs should be nominal or even free to avail of the services in the govt hospital.
In the longer run, you need to consider whether you can still live with the abusive husband. He has already threatened with death you several times . So you may be in immediate danger. Seek a protection order directly from the police and the court. As for the money part, that is a difficult issue. If you divorce, you are entitled to alimony.for maintenance. Please also consider seeking damages for the suffering your husband has subjected you.
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PNot a lawyer
Note: Don’t get stuck with lawyers on Reddit, lot of fraud stories off this page. Meet someone in person.
Gather all evidences for what you’re claiming. Simply filing a divorce case won’t be super helpful. It’ll end up adding more tension to your household till case gets settled.
Reach a lawyer, with his help file a police case and ask them to add everything to the charge sheet that you can provide evidence for, if you don’t have proofs, they’ll still add it but then opposition will waste a lot of time trying to disprove it, better put everything with supporting evidence. Evidence could be text, call recordings, bank accounts. The part where your earnings go to his account will be a crucial one.
Reach out to NGOs so they can provide you a temporary stay. After the initial hearings, your temporary alimony would start. There’s no concept of child custody because he’s over 18. Also depending how it works out, no child support, may be post majority child support because your sons studying & may be till he’s unemployed but all that depends on how the court sees it.
Once the hearings are scheduled, you’ll get an option to either settle the case or go to trial. Based on what you’ve mentioned, settlement may be a better option – no alimony, just 1 time payment. Because if it goes to trials, you’ll get a temporary alimony of 5-10k or something and eventually a proper alimony and asset split will be decided which could take years. His income is 6L, settlement may be around 20-25L. Settlement may be better imo.
If the settlement goes through, have a restraining order against the husband for your own safety.
All in all you’ve to go to the court with a narrative, a problem (reason for divorce) and a solution (need x amount for son, sustaining life style till son is independent and can tc of mom). Court will listen to both sides and order what’s fair.
All the best
I hope this is a genuine case but idc if it isnt. This can still be useful for people in similar situations.
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UJust file 498a and his life will be in trouble he won’t touch after that since he has govt job the salary will keep coming to you as part of alimony so no worries
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U498a ? But why?
She should file a case for divorce and domestic violence
That’s it. She will get alimony or one time payment
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SRecord everything, use hidden cameras, cctv, etc. once recorded don’t discard the device on which it was recorded because they are needed to verify evidence by forensic department during court proceedings.
Divorce him and file criminal cases separately for threatening to kill you and hitting you. If he is rich take money and invest them in mutual funds.
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UMaybe bare with him for 1-2 years until your son graduates once your son starts earning rent an different house move there and file for an divorce. The circumstances are not in your favour right now. honestly the best thing to do is to turn an blind eye to your husband deeds don’t ask him anything let him do what he does until your son graduates making sure u don’t hurt his ego. Also don’t say things which will trigger him keep quiet this he what he wants thay is why he Beats you then just follow along for next few years. Hide all the sharp objects in our house. Apart from that if in future he tries to kill you then don’t go for self-defence just run outside the house as fast as u can stay out untill he calms down. While leaving with your son don’t forget to take your jewellery with u. also start saving the cash which he gives u for everyday use. use your Brain and trick him to use your saving to buy gold jewellery on some festival or occasion and keep it with you don’t make it obvious 🤷. tell your son to study hard he can get u out of this mess. also go for walk outside in the evening talk with people make friends so that they can help u when u need them stay connected with all your close ones talk to them regularly this the the best escape plan from my perspective
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USee how fragile most of these men are, they want to prove that women should not take alimony from abusers like op’s husband and most of them are trying to be an apologist.
I am glad laws like alimony still exist cause if these men made the laws now they would make sure men can take and take from the women till she is no more.
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UYou say that you’re not educated ,but you write English really well. Raises questions on how true this post is.
But it also answers another question that you asked – what can you do to earn money. So write, become a content writer, they earn well. Use freelancer.com and so many other sites for getting work.
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UJust pass time till your son gets the job for you join or find some government schemes or programmes for women empowerment. God is giving you a window of 12 hrs to reach out these schemes, I’m sure you’ll find out good people from government department who’ll help you get out this rut. Government employee ko Government Scheme se tackle karro.
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UNAL. How long it will take him to complete his studies? Court proceedings will take time and if he turns against his father he may not pay tuition fee. If you family will support you and your son during court proceedings then no problem. If not let him finish his studies and get a job, you can also work for daily wage in some shops.
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PIf you want divorce – file a contested divorce on the grounds of cruelty and adultery. In the same case you can ask for maintenance. For your son until he secures a job, he can also ask for financial support.
If you have the proof that he has married someone else when the marriage with you is still existing, it amounts to bigamy. If he gets convicted in bigamy, it will costs his Government job.
Collect the evidence for his infidelity, physical violence and others, if any. Whenever he physically hurts you, go to the hospital and register a Medico Legal Case.
To understand further about contested divorce read here [https://divorcebylaw.com/best-contested-divorce-lawyers-in-bangalore/](https://divorcebylaw.com/best-contested-divorce-lawyers-in-bangalore/)
To clarify your doubts further contact us [https://g.co/kgs/bduhV67](https://g.co/kgs/bduhV67)
**Disclaimer:** Without understanding all the facts of the case, the advice given here may not be the best. It is advised to consult an advocate to get better remedy for the issues at hand.
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