- This topic has 65 replies, 63 voices, and was last updated 1 year, 5 months ago by
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Utell her to wait till she turns 18, if she can wait till then and you both still have feelings it is a test of true love not just infatuation
P.S its incredibly sad the law is so strict when it comes to underage dating, most cultures of the past considered 13-14 or menstruation as a proxy for coming off-age
even now Germany and few other Western countries have the age lowered to 16, lawyers/judges/ feminists hate lowering the age though as it creates fewer cases for them, if they had their way, it would be moved to 30 or something so that every man can be counted as a rapist
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BSame thing happened to me few years ago during lockdown. I was in 4th/final year of engineering.
Suddenly in whatsapp I see a random message from a girl. She said it was a wrong number but she kept messaging me. I just started preparing for GOV exams that time so I didn’t wanted any distractions. But she kept messaging and I was replying. Then she started giving hints ki you know she is interested in me and all. She always used to divert from the question about her studies and age. Her profile pic in WA and FB was well it was kind of hard to tell her age from that. Then one day I was pressuring her. The moment she said class 9, I was like WTF.
I wanted to immediately block her, that was my first instinct. But then I thought about it, asked advice from my best friend, and I tried to make her understand this is wrong and all that stuff. She was just not listening to me. Then one day she video called me, and I was with my parents. I was like it is going too far. I messaged her and told many lies….like we are really poor, my father is really strict, I have many health issues and blah blah, then I stopped replying from that day and then she also stopped messaging…..well kind of. And one fine night I blocked her.
Be a little smart and cautious about this kind of stuff. Things can go sideways.
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UFind a girlfriend or ask a female friend to speak with her on your behalf as if she were your girlfriend.
Also, tell her not to spread the news of you dating cuz you wanna avoid family and neighbors prying. (But u can tell ur fam what ur doing if it avoids trouble to u)
Record any convo too.
Even if she were of legal age, the close proximity to your home and possible dependence due to a troubled family situation would be risky for you. Unless you’re considering marrying her, I wouldn’t advise getting involved with her. Ever.
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CHow well do you know her? Are you friends? Is she level headed?
If you were 25 and she was 22, a 3 year gap would not matter. So it is not the age gap. She is 17, is there some magic pill or potion that one takes and becomes sensible on turning 18?
So first of all “Don’t Panic”. She is from your society. You can hang out in a group as friends. She is young. Definitely impressionable age. Talk to her. Explain your viewpoint.
If you like her then suggest that you can be friends and hang out in a group but not alone. Also make it clear that she is under age, she has to wait.
If not come up with some excuse which will not hurt her. Be polite but keep your distance.
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UThat’s a thing which I don’t understand, if OP and the girl were 18 and 21, they are legally allowed to marry, but 17 and 20 in love is a prison sentence, Lmfao
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CLove is not a prison sentence. Penetrative sex is.
If you want to understand the situation here is a link to an article in The Indian Journal of Medical Ethics.
Law Commission of India report on the age of consent: Denying justice and autonomy to adolescents
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PStop looking at the legal aspect of the situation.
Is she serious or looking to just hookup? If she’s serious and looking for a long term relationship and you think that she’s a good person, then there’s nothing wrong in being friends and getting to know each other. As a 20M, if you have a platonic friendship with a 17F, you’re crossing no boundaries.
If on the other hand, if she’s looking to hookup, dirty talk and sext, then steer clear of her.
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UYou should not be in a friendship or relationship with a 17 year old where she has developed those feelings for you.
Only you can be blamed for taking this friendship or relationship to this extent. It’s not appropriate.
It’s not like you can’t find friends who are over 18.
Wise up and learn to be an adult before you fall in trouble.
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UIt’s completely natural to have a crush at her age. But people are acting like it she is a problem, as if she’s some kind of villain trying to ruin your life. That’s just not true. She’s a teenager figuring out all the things she hears about quite often—‘love,’ ‘boyfriend,’ and so on.
Considering her parents aren’t kind to her, she’s probably searching for a sense of home, solace, and comfort. Whatever you do, do not humiliate her. Instead, try to handle this situation as gracefully as you can. Since you see yourself as a sensible person, remember that how you treat her now will likely stay with her. Making her feel like she’s unlovable could have lasting effects.
Teenagers are often desperate to solve all of their problems at once. It’s a painful age man. You can gently let her know that, unfortunately, you don’t feel the same way. If you choose to block her, make sure to explain why—frame it as an act of concern. Let her know you’re doing it to help her dissociate, which will allow her feelings to fade over time.
For heaven’s sake, she’s not a criminal—just a silly teenager who thinks she’s in love and doesn’t know when to stop lol. -
SYour post is generic and does not have a substantial legal issue involved.
If you have questions about this removal, please [contact the moderators](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/LegalAdviceIndia).
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UBest thing for loop 1: Ask her to wait until she’s 18, in a few months. This is, IF you have mutual feelings, and keep documenting things and maintain minimal contact till then.
If you don’t have mutual feelings, then best to talk to her gently, saying you’re not interested and also reach her friends/mutual friends and get them to talk to her.
Better to keep it limited to this, at this loop, if there’s no major escalation. Involving parents and blocking has its own evil risks and don’t consider those unless there is a major escalation.
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UI don’t understand why is everybody losing their minds over this.
Unless OP is in his mid or late 20s, I don’t see a harm in talking to a 17 year old girl or maintaining a healthy friendship with them which may eventually turn into something else once they are older.
Once they turn adult, you can see where it can go. And she is 17, not like she is 14-15 that you start talking about pedo and that crap. Also, don’t get physical or anything. If you are interested and find her cute, just be friends for now and tell her you can be friends for a year and then see where it goes (here I’m assuming you’re in early 20s and single. Otherwise you respectfully decline and stay away because there is less future for that kind of age gap)
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