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SMy brother(33M) and bhabhi(34F) got married a year ago, arrange marriage. They were acquaintances in college, reconnected after many years and got married within a few months of knowing each other. Their relationship has been going through problems, and I fear they may seperate. I want to know about possible outcomes and preparation of those outcomes if shit hits the fan. Here’s the summary –
– They are not compatible. In terms of lifestyle choices, thinking and personality. So basically, everything.
– My SIL wants my brother to handle all expenses completely while she gives her money to her own family. She comes from a traditional thinking that man is provider, however, she doesn’t contribute in finances, or chores. My brother earns almost equally to her. She sometimes agrees to contribute, and other times backs out. My mom & dad do most house chores. They’re retired & want the couple to move out since it’s a financial and mental stress for them. I agree with it.
– The couple is now moving out to a rented apt. She doesn’t want her name on the rental agreement as she contributes her HRA to her parents’ home. Initially she agreed to contribute when both of them start their life together, and now this. They took a year to search for this apt since her father was refusing options since he did not know the contractor/builder there (smh). She is planning a baby and is expecting my brother to handle all expenses there too. She didn’t even tell my brother about going for fertility checkups. I have to add, this is Tier 1 city, single household income is impossible to survive.
– My brother went for counseling, and has now stopped going. He asked her to go together for couples counseling but she refused.
– Whenever any decision has to be made, she asks him to wait for a few days, goes to her house to consult with her parents and comes back with answers. Now my brother has started doing the same with my parents’ consultations.
– My brother has emotionally checked out. He doesn’t interact with her anymore, she feels lost and is hurt too. I don’t think this marriage is worth their happiness.
– I live in US, I have started saving some funds for my family if shit hits the fan but I’d have to uproot my life to a cheaper city if I agree to support them financially. I’m still paying off my education loan though.
– I’m not biased. Both of them are at fault for the breakdown of their relationship. Infact, both families are at fault for putting pressure on getting married when kids are not ready.
Questions –
– Can my brother file for divorce/seperation on grounds of incompatibility?
– My parents’ are planning to transfer all their assets to me instead of him. Any other preperation my family can do if things go downhill?
– I don’t know my SIL that much, coz I live in another country. But from whatever interaction I’ve had with her family, they are not gonna back out peacefully, her dad was in army and has contacts.
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HLet them handle things on their own.
They can mutually divorce but since she is already expecting, don’t expect that your brother will be let off easily.
Being a man is a curse as the laws favour women everywhere.
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USince India does not have no-fault divorce laws, your brother might be better off seeking a mutual divorce to avoid potential legal complications that could involve the entire family. If a mutual divorce isn’t possible, he should refrain from initiating the divorce himself and instead wait for his wife to request it. In the meantime, he could subtly encourage her to want a divorce while keeping his own desire to end the marriage hidden.
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SHow can he go for mutual divorce while keeping his desire to end the marriage hidden?
Also, is there any law if marriage has not been consummated?
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UTry to get her to want a divorce. That way, he’ll be the one doing her a favor, rather than her doing him a favor. In Indian law, the strategy always involves filing as many fake cases against the opponent as possible to force an out-of-court settlement. So, if the entire system is designed to pressure the opponent plus whole family into giving you what you want, why go through the judiciary just to be exploited and extorted? Instead, make the other party’s life so miserable that they’ll want a divorce even more. Then, grant them the divorce in a way that makes it seem like their victory and your loss.
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P1. The ground of “Irretrievable Breakdown” of marriage is not mentioned as a ground for divorce in the Hindu Marriage Act. However there are precedents where Supreme Court has allowed this to be a ground to seek remedy in Divorce. But otherwise the actions of your SIL do amount to mental cruelty. Learn more about the grounds for divorce here [https://divorcebylaw.com/best-contested-divorce-lawyers-in-bangalore/](https://divorcebylaw.com/best-contested-divorce-lawyers-in-bangalore/)
2. It is easier and faster to get divorce through Mutual Consent, only if your SIL is willing to do so. Read more here [https://divorcebylaw.com/mutual-divorce-lawyer-in-bengaluru/](https://divorcebylaw.com/mutual-divorce-lawyer-in-bengaluru/)
3. Before going to the divorce talks, let them see if they can reconcile without the parents from both the ends interfering. They can also go for pre-litigation mediation, in the mediation center attached to the family court/ district court of the area.
For further clarification and guidance contact us [https://g.co/kgs/eBFWUbC](https://g.co/kgs/eBFWUbC)
**Disclaimer:** In the absence of all the facts of the case, the comments given may not be the best solution for your case. One on one consultation with a legal counsel/ advocate is advised to get better guidance.
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SThanks for sharing this! I’d love if you can answer.
My brother and bhabhi moved out, and things are still not well. My brother wants out. However, bhabhi is not. She is okay with an unhappy marriage since she is afraid of society and divorce.
– From what I read in these links – Irretrievable differences, mental cruelty are solid grounds for them.
– My brother is feeling depressed. Idk if that counts as ‘unsound mind’, does it?
– Also, my bhabhi had herpes for a month, which is an STI – does that count in ‘Venereal Diseases’? Don’t know how she got it.
– Other than this, bhabhi’s brother (30m) seems to be mentally retarded, we don’t have proof but now that we have interacted with him regularly, it seems like it. She has always dodged this topic whenever my brother has asked her. I fear the condition(if present) runs in the family and they are hiding it.-
PAbout finances – it looks like they did not speak about it before getting married. It’s her choice if she wishes to give money to her parents. But she should have been openly discussed with your brother. It is very clear that your brother doesn’t agree with this. Now, he has to communicate that to her clearly. Or they have to come up with a plan to meet at the mid point where a cap can be put on how much she can spend on her parents. These things can be done through the help of a unbiased, independent mediator.
Depression does not amount to unsound mind. His wife cannot claim divorce based on that. But your brother can claim that he is gone into depression due to mental cruelty perpetrated by his wife. He must be having medial reports to prove, if required.
Having genital herpes can be considered as venereal disease. If it is in the communicable form, which affects the intimate relationship between the couple could be the ground. Since it can be treated, your brother cannot claim this to be the sole ground for divorce. it can be used as one of the grounds. But the important part is how did she get it? If there’s any adultery angle, that needs to looked into. As there are rare chances that the genital herpes could be transmitted through other modes, your brother may not be able to claim adultery unless and until he has some proof.
If your brother is insisting on divorce he can file on the grounds of Cruelty (mental, financial, emotional, unable to have intimacy due to STI), and Irretrievable breakdown of the marriage.
[https://divorcebylaw.com/best-contested-divorce-lawyers-in-bangalore/](https://divorcebylaw.com/best-contested-divorce-lawyers-in-bangalore/)
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**Disclaimer:** In the absence of all the facts of the case, the comments given may not be the best solution for your case. One on one consultation with a legal counsel/ advocate is advised to get better guidance.
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