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UHi, we are shifting to a new high rise society. Our interior work is going on. My mother and I were in a fun mood and she wanted to see who all have shifted and what is going around in the tower, i was on leave so i agreed. We went on terrace, clicked pictures of beautiful sunset and looked around the other flats and taking inspiration of interior work. I clicked a picture of someone’s front door and they had a camera installed, I could see it but mom said it’s okay it is not like we are stealing something in a friendly positive tone. We didn’t think it was a big deal. But later onwards the owners posted a whole video of it with our voice and everything on the society group with more than 150 people on it with condemning msgs and that they will complain. Quite lengthy messages saying “these two ladies in the afternoon were….. bla bla”. I called on her number and apologised for any inconvenience caused and that my intention was not to hurt in any way. She became aggressive, asked my age and called me immature and to visit her and then apologise. I had to drive all the way back and then visit her. The issue got sorted, with her taunting a lot behind our back to our already shifted neighbours calling us uneducated and what not. She also said to my face that good now i have learnt my lesson and she is willing to let go because i am young. P.s she wasn’t old as such, must be in her late thirties and I am in my late twenties. I asked her to delete her texts at which she smiled and taunted again. But she did delete later.
I am a sensitive person, and I understand her concern for her safety even though technically I didn’t break any rule or committed any crime (if so you guys can educate me). Now I am having difficulty to let go of all this, I have tried journaling, sharing with my close friends and everything but all this is taking a toll on my emotional health that people are commenting that “ohh so you are the person in the video, viral girl” and so. I was publicly humiliated for such an innocent or naive mistake if it was a mistake. If she was concerned for her safety she could have simple posted the picture and asked genuinely if people knew who we were or she could have directly shared with security, I would have handled. Posting whole ass video and attacking directly was not right. It affected my image negatively and is causing me unnecessary mental burden. People all the time visit our flat as well and take pictures even though we are not shifted there, we never thought anything about it.
I can’t seem to let go of this event, i want to know if there is any legal course for her sharing my video like this publicly? Please advise.
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Uitni see baat ke liye publically humiliate karna galat he , tum maan haani ka case karo , agar koi rule todat he toh usko uske liye fine karo , uska video viral karke ussko harass karna ye galat he , waha tak tumhari galti thi ab yaha se unki galti start hui he jakar maan haani ka case karo , bhag kar ayenge sab maafi mangne
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UI do have evidence, but is there any benefit now that she has deleted everything? But it is really taking a toll on me and hence I shared here, I am feeling embarrassed to even make visits to my own flat or interact with anybody I encounter in the lift or on the way, this is not good. I am a friendly and helpful person but now I don’t reply or interact much and this incident is shaping my mindset negatively to people around me.
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Uitni see baat ke liye publically humiliate karna galat he , tum maan haani ka case karo , agar koi rule todat he toh usko uske liye fine karo , uska video viral karke ussko harass karna ye galat he , waha tak tumhari galti thi ab yaha se unki galti start hui he jakar maan haani ka case karo , bhag kar ayenge sab maafi mangne
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BYou are overthinker OP.
Mediate 5 minutes daily.
I know what other lady did is wrong. She is bad women. It’s not worth it in grand scheme of life
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IYou know what, like everyone is saying – these people who unnecessarily humiliate others have nothing good going on in their life. Don’t make yourself miserable because of them. Forgive her, she needed that attention for a few minutes and that’s it. You’ve done nothing wrong by taking a picture of the common area. We all take pictures or appreciate our neighbours gardens, lawns – nobody is going about sharing our pictures. Take a chill pill.
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UNot a lawyer
While you weren’t completely right doing that as the more polite approach would be to knock on their door and let them know your intentions and ask them if they’re okay with it. Think of it, some random stranger starts clicking pictures of your house, you’re gonna get creeped out and start worrying about your safety. But you didn’t deserve such humiliation either. This matter could’ve been sorted out more privately with the involvement of only a few people including the authorities.
This lady seems problematic either way and I’d suggest you maintain your distance from her and next time be careful doing such things, clicking pictures of objects in public is different from going in front of someone’s house and clicking pictures.
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UI could do that yes, but it was afternoon but we really didn’t want to disturb someone. It was a fleet of the moment action without any ill intention. They could also hear me saying “camera laga hua hai (camera is installed)” in the video so they knew I am aware of it and obviously is not trying to do anything bad.
But yes, i will be careful next time.
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U1. You should not have gone back to apologize. As you are a member of the WhatsApp group, you should have justified your actions as an owner in the building.
2. You should have rebuked her for taking video of an owner without their permission and sharing it in public without your permission.
3. The more to cater to the wishes of these bhen-ji types, the more powerful they feel and more crazy they act. Your response should be calibrated to take power away from them, not give them more power.
If all else fails, tell her to go F herself.
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UIt is a crime to record private video of someone without there knowledge or consent. It falls under sec 354(c) of IPC which define Voyeurism. The punishment for this offence is provided under Section 354 (C) of the Indian Penal Code. Any person who is found guilty under Section 354 (C) shall be punished with imprisonment of not less than 1 year and may be extended to 3 years and shall also be liable for a fine.
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HThere is no reasonable expectation of privacy in a common place that to right before her neighbour’s home
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UThere’s no reasonable expectation of privacy in a public space. This was not public space, this was private space paid for by the co-owners of the building. There is expectation of privacy in a private gated building with a guard posted at the entrance. That’s, in fact, the definition of privacy.
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HYou have to understand how reasonable expectation of privacy works. If that is the case there wouldn’t be any cameras in any apartments. Just because it is a private place doesn’t mean anyone can have expectation of privacy. She is at a corridor which can be used by any members of the flat thus she doesn’t have reasonable expectation of privacy. If it is in her home yes she can expect privacy
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UThis was a private society, private, gated building. Of course there is expectation of privacy otherwise there would be no need to have walls around the building and no need to have a 24 hr security guard at the gate.
Unless the person who did the recording specifically posted outside or near her home that she is using CCTV near her house, there is expectation of privacy. The OP doesn’t mention seeing a notice stating the use of cctv cameras.
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HIt doesn’t matter if it is posted or not. What is reasonable expectation of privacy is a well known standard not only in india across the world. The typical yardstick to judge it is if the person isn’t trespassing and if he can see(plane view doctrine in u.s legal language) he can record.
If it is a private society doesn’t mean op owns the corridors they are co owned thus op doesn’t have any expectation of privacy and her neighbour can have a cc camera just like public area’s are co owned by everyone thus anyone can record. It is well established standard across the world you can read few judgements regarding the same
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UFine, then don’t go for the Voyeurism charge.
File a case under the Information Technology Act, it’ll be a slam dunk under the IT Act.
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Snot a single case has been filed under this law so far. If OP does it, it’ll be quite the precedent maker.
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UAnyone can record in a corridor. That means i can record too? Also anyone can record, but can anyone share that publicly with my clear face and everything?
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UYou are a co-owner. You have the same rights as every other flat-owner in the building. The role of managing the security of the building lies with the management company, not with individual owners.
Recording a co-owner without their express permission and then widely sharing the video without their permission with the intent to defame them is malicious and unlawful.
Most people think that pursuing something like this isn’t worth their time and money because the court system doesn’t have the ability to decide these case expeditiously. But I can tell you with personal experience, people like that don’t have anything better to do with their lives so they like picking fights with folks they consider weaker than themselves. These people hate to be ignored. You should ignore her existence and she will burnout.
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RThe actual mistake you did is to ‘assume’ it’s ok to do…. especially with an unknown person.
But it’s a learning, move on. the other option could have been may be ringing the bell and complementing them for such a nice choice for their door frame and seeking agreement to take a picture and assuring blurring the house number. That’s how you build connections in closed societies. -
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UWhat’s the price for mental peace?
If you pay that price to psychologist and if that helps you to get over this mental state you’re in, that price is worth it.
However, only because you are mentally disturbed since this incident, it only make sense to make a new beginning in some other society with blank slate.
First impression in this high rise can be changed by your PR team. If you don’t have one, precisely why I suggested about psychologist or new beginning in some other high rise.
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QNext time praise the person in front of the camera if you want to click a pic! Wow! What great taste the person has! Such a beautiful door piece! Etc.. etc…. also these days people are paranoid because robbers also case apartments and click photos before committing a crime….if I were in her place .. I would save the video in case something happens, but no need to have shamed in public
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UIn America, women like these are called Karen.
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HYou have done nothing wrong by clicking pictures in the corridor (its part of public area even if the picture is of her door), and that lady had no right to humiliate you. While the photo you took was of the door, she posted “your” video and insulted you on the group. If you still have records of the chat on whatsapp group and all the responses, file a defamation case against that lady (depends on content of the texts – take advice from lawyer) and put her in place. Even if you don’t go through with the case to the end, use it to get the lady to apologise.
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UDekho jo hua usko lekar itna soncho mat , that lady could’ve privately asked you all and ur only mistake was to take pictures thats it.
You cannot change the past and isko itna dhyan mat do , wo lady ne toh tumhari insult ki aur khud itni terrible person hokar she might be living normally.
I felt bad that u have to deal woth such a negative situation hence i wanted to add my reply but genuinely spend time with ur family thoda closure milega toh you will feel good!
Zindagi hai yaar ye sab chalta rahega apne aap pr focus karna. -
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USometimes things fall in a grey area. I think what you are not able to let go is you didn’t stand up for yourself more than being known as the viral girl etc. next times someone tries to shame you by calling you a viral girl, keep your expression blank. Ask what do you mean. Let them get uncomfortable. Then say you mean the lady who overreacted n needs to put a sign saying clicking of photos is not allowed here? Make her into a joke n also let others subtly know without arguing or fighting that you won’t take this nonsense.
Next time you see this lady call her by her name n say hi. Don’t let her mistreat you. N tell her you are thinking of complaining coz her sharing her video without her consent (pls check the rules) . Let her also fret a bit. You should have dealt with this on WA group. Sometimes the more you bend backwards the more you have to. Take this as a lesson -
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HSometimes you gotta own your mistakes even if they are silly and let go everything related to it.. don’t carry this burden further. People will say things let them.. find your own moment to change your image.. do something cultural or invite all of them on house warming. And surprise everyone with your warm heart. Not all but some will definitely love you for who you are rather than your mistakes.
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LYou were at fault.
Attack on you was brutal and I can see that its effect is too much more than what you deserved as a punishment. She couldn’t let it go. You apologised, matter should have ended there.
It is her privacy which she felt is violated and also that she being a good neighbour wanted others to beware of any such incidents.Did you explain yourself in the group?
I think people will understand.
If it is an old issue now, you can say, I waited for the dust to be settled and hence posting now.
Viral girl, due to misunderstanding, she made a negative comment which when you clear doesn’t create a negative picture in people’s minds about you.
Smile and share your pic and story.
Assume that most people understand and have understood.-
UNo I did not. I didn’t say anything in front of anyone or in the group. I don’t see how this is good neighbour behaviour but okay, what about my privacy? If it was a security concern it should have been shared with security directly, you literally achieved nothing by posting there other than feeling powerful by putting others down, she can clearly hear our voices in the video and that we are residents. I would really want someone to answer me: I clicked an inanimate object (a door frame) which may or may not be directly related to you, you are posting two people’s video in public and describing them negatively. Whose privacy is being infringed here? And how do we define that? How do we define personal space here?
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SPractising advocate here:
The answer to your issue is a bit nuanced, so please bear with me.
Unfortunately, you’re kinda in the wrong here when it comes to what you did. Basic moral decency dictates that making a video of the door of a stranger is not something that is gonna fly this easily. It is a security issue in my opinion, and a privacy issue too. If a random stranger came to my door and started taking photos of my door without my knowledge or consent, I’d have an issue with it too.
That being said, you made a mistake, and you apologised, and that should have been that. Mistakes happen. I am not going to deem you a criminal for making a mistake. This whole thing was a misunderstanding.
Now, your neighbour has a right to install a CCTV for her security, but this right does not extend to her sharing recordings on any fora such as a WhatsApp chat for clout. This is a violation of your privacy and there are laws that protect you against this.
In my opinion, her sharing your video falls directly under ‘misuse’ of a CCTV recording device installed for security purposes. Having a CCTV doesn’t mean that the owner has a right to display whatever the CCTV records. Now, I am using the word *opinion* here because the law in this issue is very vague and unsettled. If you file a case, it will probably be the first of its kind, despite their being laws surrounding it.
You can send your neighbour a legal notice to take down the videos. You can also pursue this further in the court of law if she refuses to comply. However, my advice is that you should let this go. Your neighbour is clearly an attention seeker and this entire issue is not worth the court kachehri ke chakkar.
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**Disclaimer: The information provided above does not, and is not intended to, constitute legal advice; instead, all information, content, and materials available are strictly for general informational purposes only and create no liability on the provider of said information. Readers should contact their attorney to obtain advice with respect to any particular legal matter.**
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UNAL.I’m sorry, but are you trying to play victim here?Manners ,ideally should be taught by parents,but in your case,well ,hmm.Im sure you and your mom are are not bad people , but ,we all should learn to live in a society.Your neighbours are teaching you a valuable but uncomfortable lesson here.Learn and don’t repeat your behaviour.Excuse me if I sound rude.
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UI feel more than half of the posts in this sub is because someone hurts their ego and they can’t seem to let go, while they know full well that doing anything legally would a) be immature in such a trivial situation b) they don’t have the resources and time to spend pursuing it. They just want to hear the same thing and get sympathy from other people, like some sort of validation that “Yeah, Your feelings are Genuine! We’re all with you!” and all that bull.
You don’t need a legal subreddit lady, you need r/trueoffmychest or r/wellthatsucks
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