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ISo a guy (my husband) I know has been in a “relationship” with a girl 10 years younger than him for years now. She has been impregnated twice by him, and there is a call recording of him boasting about this deed to a third person, several other recordings of him using slurs against her, again to a third person. The girl currently is 18 yro probably, might be younger. But she won’t speak up. She comes from a financially weak family, has no father, her mother has taught her from childhood to accept this exploitation as the guy and his family are financially supporting them, housing them for a while now. She has been groomed to the point that she now “loves” the guy, so she will lie in court if anyone files a complaint on behalf of her. What can I do? Will I have to intensely involve myself in the legal proceedings if I file a complaint? Or is just a heads up to the authorities enough from my side? I understand that I am obliged to file a complaint against this by law, but I am currently myself in a lot of mess, and can’t take a lot more really. What authorities to reach out except police as the guy has connections locally and has bribed them multiple times for other offenses.
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CNAL, this is something ive learnt in life – You cant save someone who doesn’t want to be saved!
Try to council her, if not move away and fix your life
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CI had to read that first line of the post twice.
“A guy (my husband)” and the words that followed this, tf??
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SI am actually getting divorced after marrying someone with similar dark past.
She told me in bits and pieces what happened in the childhood but never reveal names despite me pleading for years.
She is mentally sick and scared for life. You can’t help such people. These people will blame the one who tries to help them heal.
Get out and avoid at all cost or you would be blamed for everything.
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FSome victims of grooming are lost cause. You have to protect yourselves instead as you wouldn’t get any support from the victim.
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B“The hero’s heart is not heavy because there are too many people to save,
It’s because some people don’t want to be saved” -
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RYou don’t want to save the girl. You just found a way to make your husband ( who’s already in divorce proceedings with you) suffer. If you wanted to save her then you should have done it by now but it’s just your ego trip which is trying to find new ways to do that.
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LIf the first thing on your mind when you hear of potential legal proceedings against a pedophile is “They’re just trying to ruin his life”, you need to be on a list
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RFirst close your case. If you file a complaint now it can be seen as you trying to manipulate your ongoing case with him. It will be conflict of interest.
That girl won’t get un-groomed or any less exploited in a few days. Once your divorce is sorted, then you can take help from some NGO for her.
Even now, if you want to do anything, please make sure you are not seen as the one initiating the compliant.
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DSo your ex husband is a child rapist. Who impregnated his victim 2!
A child cannot consent to sex.
This child has just turned 18.
You were complicit if you knew and did nothing.
Distance yourself from the rapist and get the traumatized victim justice and support she deserves.
Where is the humanity.-
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Nexcuse me??? you are very quick to assume, arent you.
She said “a guy (my husband) **I know**” which I think is a mistyping error and she missed an “and”. I guess, she intended to write ‘my husband **and** I know’. Why would she marry someone who is already in a relationship with someone else, let alone a child, and who got that other girl pregnant twice.
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SThen the brackets shouldn’t have been there, if she and her husband knew that fellow. She is trying to intend that the ‘guy’ is ‘her’ husband.
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Cand you have been together for all those 10 years ? your life is a mess already to save someone else’s . this ain’t a movie. a heads up to the authorities is enough , if you have some proofs report them , that is it, i would suggest not talking to the girl or her family alone !! what if this guy ends up ruining your life even more , as you said , he is an influential man . if your life wasn’t a mess already , i would have suggested standing up for someone like that girl but in this case, choose yourself and fix your life. get out of this chaos as soon as possible, you mental health is at stake.
that girl is pretty unlucky for having a family like that and i just wish god blesses her soon!!
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RWow! Sending strength to you. Don’t have anything to add
(u/factfinder616 kya kya hota rehta. 🤦🏽♀️)
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ELmfao, that’s NO LOVE ma’am, that is nothing but stockholm syndrome, or either just being scared and shxt that’s fkin all, someone or anyone in right mind and even in wrong mind NEVER falls on LOVE with the rapist, criminals especially those who did those worst crimes/things to them…. Understand it first, don’t go around saying nonsense pls. Also, file a complaint against this mf rapist of a husband that you sadly have, shame indeed and I’m speechless by how fked situation you’re in.
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Rwhen someone puts “” around a word that means they are saying it in an ironical way. basically, OP does not think the child loves the man. she is saying the child is groomed to a point where she thinks she is in love with the man.
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SSex with anyone below the age of 18 is instantly considered statutory rape. Your husband is a criminal, he should be reported. Once reported, the police should take action as necessary.
Coming out against your husband must have taken a lot of courage. I commend you OP, thank you for being a good human being.
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CIf that Animal is boosting about graping a Minor, then there are chances that he must hv graped more girls & in future, when he gets more Powerful be it via Money or Political connections, he will be on a gRaping spree. Such Monsters wait for the right opportunity to exploit as many people as possible. Just file a Dowry/Divorce case, seek Police protection, hire a lawyer, show audio clip to Cops and Lawyer to justify your Actions. Run away asap from that Monster
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VOp, people are giving you two different advices- 1. Save yourself, 2. You have a duty to save her.
Look, she’s already not willing to speak up. If you file on her behalf, she might say you’re lying and that will worsen your divorce case.
There’s a saying, it’s OK if you only saved one person in the world and it’s OK if that person was you. Please please save yourself from this mess first and foremost. Get your dowry back and get the divorce settled.
Only once your proceedings are complete then think of how you can help the girl. Maybe you can then give her information about posco or ask some ngos to get involved. But right now if you do that he’ll just give that girl some money to lie more and worsen your case. It will look like you’re doing everything to spoil his image and that will not go well for you.
It’s OK to save only one person in the world, and it’s OK if that person was you. You deserve peace as well. Find it firstly for yourself and then think of others.
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BIn POCSO – there is no concept of consent.
It is statutory rape even if the girl herself submitted to that guy with open arms. You just need to prove that the pregnancy has happened and his sperm caused it.
Rest it is upto you. Once the crime is proved, the divorce proceedings can be done normally – and there shouldn’t be any issue.
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Pyou can’t make the woman file a case, but what you can do is have her as a character witness for your divorce. if she has had children, you can get them for dna test, and if she got abortion, you need to find the doctors who performed the abortion and make him testify. if she has had an abortion, she needs to accept that she slept with your husband, or find those conversations where your husband has bragged about sleeping with her.
you should also reach out to his friends, some of his friends would be uncomfortable or jealous and would wanna tattle on him to ruin his life. that’s how human jealousy work anyway. but you need to know which friends are likely to tattle and get affidavits from them.
idk your reason for divorcing on paper, but the part about him sleeping with a minor and taking a dowry should absolutely be in the divorce paper. you need to change lawyers if that is not the case.
if your divorce proceeding does proof that he slept with her, the court would be forced to make a case against him in suo motu with pocso. you don’t have ti go outside, just connect these with your dowry case.
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HA legal person this side. There isn’t much you can do. The call recording doesn’t hold much evidentiary value. The victim will never testify. There won’t be any medical evidence as well. There isn’t an eyewitness either. So basically it would be just your word against theirs. The girl would straight up deny it. So basically, there isn’t anything you can do.
Although you can look into using this fact in your divorce proceedings. The fact that your husband is having an affair with an underage girl, will definitely help the court side with you in your case. Good luck.
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MYou can choose to report anonymously and won’t have to deal with the legalities. If you have or can get those call recordings submit those too. I have been working on POCSO and within the public policy sector for years and can attest that you will not get caught in the middle of legal trouble for reporting.
POCSO is a very stringent law and considers you an accomplice if you fail to report. Even if the girl denies, it isn’t your headache.
Also reporting this and proving what your ex husband is doing to that girl will also help your case. It’ll make it easier for you to get back your dowry!!
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