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UI’m a 31 M, permanent resident of Uttar Pradesh working in Bengaluru. I got married in Dec 2023. 5 days after my marriage, on my trip to Kerala, I discovered through her chats on Instagram that my wife already had an affair and she was planning to have a baby with the guy and continue the affair. I separated with her right after that.
I met various lawyers, many told it would take 6-7 years to settle and that they would pile cases fake against me and suggested me to settle this mutual. My family has been struggling for almost 1.5 years now, asking them to settle but they are either asking hefty sum of money which we can’t afford or trying to forcefully leave the girl at my parents home. They even came one day with 12 people to my parents home to forcefully leave the girl and her mom. My family has to go through so much due to this, the entire time has been so traumatic.
I’m traumatised, not sure what I should do. Feels like to run away from all of this.
What should I do?
Edits:
1. No request/ evidence pf dowry from our end. But we’re ready to return all gifts and their expenses too.
2. Ive screenshots of her chats, photos with the guys and her confession to me on chat of everything she did. CCTV footage of her family 12 people coming to my house. -
UFor the same amount that will be involved in hiring a lawyer, paying a hefty amount as alimony and many other things, I suggest hiring a hitman.
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SAdvocate here, and this is the only advice you’ll need.
File divorce under adultery (I hope you have proofs).
If not file under cruelty.
Hire best advocate in your area (money shouldn’t matter now). You have 3 options to file the case.( the place of marriage, the place you’re resident of and the place she’s a resident of) file where it’s difficult for her to come on every hearing.
In your written statement do mention that no streedhan of her’s is pending at your place and do mention the incident where 12 people came to your parents house and tried to forcefully leave her at your place along with her mother.
Also mention the cheating incident and the possibility of paternity fraud.
She’ll definitely try to get a residence order to live at your place and you’ll be needed to ask your lawyer to rebut the facts and get the application denied.
Remember, it’ll be a tough battle but don’t you step back when you start it.
I wish you all the best. -
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UFirst thing first, DO NOT file any cases !!
Filing RCR or divorce case has no benefits for men. You think you are frustated now, wait till your own lawyer starts harassing you. The whole thing is a mind game.
Contact Mens Right Association in your city. There are many in Bangalore, just google it. Save money, make money and focus on mental health, you will be out soon. -
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ADude don’t let your cheating wife enter your house at any cost. They are deliberately trying to get her inside your house so that they can take legal action against you and your family based on that. By all means necessary don’t let her inside your house. Best case scenario for you is to fight the long legal battle. Plus make sure to have solid evidences of her affair
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UI think most of the crime here are fake for karma farming no way we see cheating wife csse 2-3 times every day and divorce rate of india is also not very high
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NShit man such cases are everywhere now a days. One of my relatives had a similar experience when his wife wanted to study in a particular city after the marriage, away from her marital home and the husband. They later found that she had a BF living in that town.
It was less than a month into marriage, 2 weeks after their honeymoon. Fortunately our guy was able to send her back to her parents place. Obviously, her family pushed all kind of stuff like dowry, domestic violence and all. The ordeal was very very stressful and he used to cry when alone.
It took some 3-4 yrs and the case was running in her home town, some 200km from his place. But with Gods grace the judge could see through her lies and awarded a divorce. Her family didn’t go to high court and all. But yes our guy did have to pay some 30+ lakh. One time settlement. Now he’s married again, living peacefully.
Wishing you a quick resolution too.
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P1. Do you have any address proof in Bangalore? Have you resided in Bangalore along with your wife (last resided together as husband & wife)? If so, you can file a contested divorce case in Bangalore. There is a chance that she may ask for transfer of the case to wherever she is residing. Analyze the chance and go ahead.
2. the contested divorce can be on the grounds of adultery and cruelty. Use all the proofs that you have collected in the evidence stage. [https://divorcebylaw.com/best-contested-divorce-lawyers-in-bangalore/](https://divorcebylaw.com/best-contested-divorce-lawyers-in-bangalore/)
3. There is no need to worry that your case will go on for 6-7 years. Yes, some cases do go through for a long period to settle. The reasons being the parties not budging or not ready for settlement or because of their ego/ status getting hurt. But when you have an efficient lawyer representing you, who is assertive and persuasive can control the mediation and discussions in a more effective manner. If the case goes on for 6-7 years both of you would be at loss of time and energy along with the money. This has to be communicated to your wife. Keep the families at bay. Request during mediation that you will speak only to your wife and not her entire clan, you also don’t let your family interfere. Come to a settlement in 2-3 sittings.
4. Don’t put too many negative thoughts into your head. Be assertive and think positively. You standing firm and participating in the proceedings actively helps to sort out the issues faster. Afterall whatever you ask for with all your heart will be heard by the universe, and it gives the same.
For further clarification feel free to consult us [https://g.co/kgs/S5AP95k](https://g.co/kgs/S5AP95k)
**Disclaimer:** In the absence of all the facts of the case, the comments given may not be the best solution for your case. One on one consultation with a legal counsel/ advocate is advised to get better guidance.
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URun away. The only option where you survive with your wealth and family.
There have been way too many cases like these and 99% the woman takes the money and a lot more assets.
Don’t risk it. Dedh saal ho chuka hai. Run the fuck away. Abroad. Use the internet, there are many things which will help.
Get out with the family, sell the property, and be safe and happy. Good luck. -
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UIdk about you bro but if something like that happens to me I’ll ask her to leave legally and separate. If she or her family threatens with cases i will m@ss#cre her entire m#therf#cking family.
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DHow is your life going?
Have you dated anyone else in these last two years?
How has your work performance been, after 2023?
Have you started drinking/smoking more than usual?
Have you put on weight?
Had stomach/digestive problems due to stress?
Has this affected your view on women? Have you become misogynistic?
While I understand this is a legal sub, and most are focussed on talking about actions against the wife and/or to get out of the marriage, it is important to also understand the physical and mental health of men who get cheated on/ defrauded.
Yes, it is a horrible thing to go through. But it is also important to compartmentalise, and ensure we don’t lose more of our time/life due to no fault of our own.
Easier said that done, though.
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UHow is your life going?- Stressed
Have you dated anyone else in these last two years?- post marriage, No. with complications in my life no one would come close to me. Not bragging but I would at least be an 8, when it comes to personality. But as soon as anyone gets to know this they are repelled.
How has your work performance been, after 2023?- 2024 was horrific, mind was always blurry. I used to forget things a lot. Zone out while with friends.
Have you started drinking/smoking more than usual? – Smoking and Smoking up increased
Have you put on weight?- yeah 10kgs or even more
Had stomach/digestive problems due to stress?- not much
Has this affected your view on women? Have you become misogynistic?- no, that view is fine. I respect women, even nothing against the girl I married (I refrain from calling her my wife/ estranged wife/ ex wife), she did what she had to do, it was her nature. God bless her with wisdom and peace but yeah not for me anymore. To be bitten by a scorpion, its the nature of scorpion to bite, but I have to be wise and stay away and say god bless this scorpion, wish him all the best.
2025 has been better, Im taking up more opportunities. Im going out and play. But the only thing that stresses me out is parents and family, all that had changed. I cannot visit my place that often, even if I do, Ive to be very cautious that they dont get to know. So they dont show up uninvited. Cannot post pictures on social media. Stopped interacting with old friends as all of them ask about marriage and all and to blabber all this and get their sympathy. I dont want that, let me be.
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DI wanted you to ask yourself these questions and take stock of yourself.
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I myself am staunchly against marriage (since I was like 10-12 years old), but I have seen divorce and separation take a toll on my friends.
They become a shell of their former selves.
I have suffered through break-ups/ treacherous acts as well. And found them hard to deal with at that time.
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It is important to put yourself first, and generally have GFY attitude towards societal norms and expectations.
It will take time, for you to come out of this. But don’t let your self esteem down.
Take care.
And seek help if you think it would be useful for you.
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UGirls don’t care about boys,they only want money,money,sex,sex, materials that’s all.Iam not gonna get married ever,with such disgusting creatures.
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UUse social media. You have to take a hard step coming to social media revealing your identity and face. These days media coverages are on men who’ve been exploited by their spouse. Go to news channels or make a video sharing your experience and post it on social media. The rest people will do. Don’t worry. You’ll get justice soon by the people of India. Nobody wants another Atul subhash.
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