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UMy “friend” tried to blackmail me over a mistake from years ago. Now he’s acting innocent—should I be worried?
Hey Reddit, I’m in a really stressful situation, and I need some advice.
Background:
I’ve been dating my girlfriend since 12 years. 8 years ago while I was studying overseas, I made a huge mistake—I went to a strip club and had an intimate encounter with a dancer. I regretted it immediately and confided in a close friend. He knew how much I hated myself for it. We also had a conversation about it couple of years ago which i feel he might have recorded.
Fast forward to 2025—I’ve been financially successful, and life was going well. But this so-called “friend” suddenly started acting differently a few months ago. He began talking with an undertone, sending me cryptic messages that hinted at my past mistake, calling me every day, and even reaching out to my girlfriend when I ignored him. He never openly threatened me but kept implying that he could reveal my secret whenever we met.
I initially stayed silent, but when his behavior escalated, I responded with a cryptic message mentioning the police. He immediately stopped calling.
The Latest Twist:
After two months of ignoring him, he called me today from a mutual friend’s phone. I picked up, and as soon as I realized it was him, I told him directly, “You know why I don’t want to talk to you. Please stop contacting me.”
He called me again from his number but instead of acknowledging anything, he played dumb. He kept saying things like:
• “What happened? I really don’t know why you’re ignoring me.”
• “I swear on my mom, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”I kept my response vague, only saying, “We both know exactly what happened. Just leave me alone.” He kept pressing for details, but I shut it down and ended the call.
My Concern:
I recorded this call, and now I feel like I walked into a trap. I think he called just to act innocent and get a recording where he “plays dumb.” Now I’m worried that:
1. He will expose my past mistake to my girlfriend or mutual friends.
2. If I report his harassment, he will use this call to act like he was “just a concerned friend” who didn’t know why I cut him off.
3. He planned this all along to protect himself legally before making his next move.What I Have as Evidence:
• Two months of non-stop calls and messages (which stopped only after I hinted at police).
•. some old call recordings where he had a different, more threatening tone.
• Cryptic texts meant to intimidate me.
• Medical records showing my stress levels skyrocketed due to this.I feel like he was harassing me and backing me into a corner, but now he’s trying to rewrite the narrative to make me look irrational.
What Should I Do?
• Should I just ignore him and move on?
• Should I be worried about this latest “innocence act”?
• If he exposes my past, would my evidence still help me legally?I’ve cut him off completely, and my girlfriend has too. But I can’t shake the feeling that this isn’t over. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
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UBy intimate, you mean you fucked a stripper in the US?
I mean, it’s not the end of the world. India and Indians generally don’t have respect for other people so I can imagine an Indian response being ‘hai, nachne wali ko thoka”.
At the end of the day, strippers are also human. They’re in the business of selling and you bought it. It’s not the end of the world. Just have respect for other human beings.
Don’t let anyone embarrass or blackmail you for something like that. If your girlfriend thinks less of strippers because of their profession, time to.change your gf.
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