- This topic has 60 replies, 61 voices, and was last updated 1 year, 2 months ago by
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MHi all, 32F, Software Engineer, residing in Bangalore, India, seeking legal advice as I am not able to process all that’s going around me.
He’s an entrepreneur, I got married to him 3.5 years ago, and in these years, he has constantly been angry on me, tried hurting me by flirting with his ex, keeping his options open, kissing women on the dance floor of pubs, forcing me to find him a woman to have sex with during my periods (days I don’t like having sex), convincing/manipulating me to let him have intimate parties at our house. I kept quiet, thinking how a divorce would affect me – and as long as it’s happening inside my house, I should keep it private and I was dealing with this trauma while in therapy.
Recently, we were out with a bunch of my friends (couples) and he started making out with a woman (random girl) at this party. And he left the party with her. They went home. And I was so embarrassed, hurt, angry and felt disrespected.
he has a friend from 12+ years, whose wife is his love interest from the beginning. I have felt insecure because of their physical intimate relationship. They don’t hesitate in seeing each other naked, moreover , he keeps mentioning how he just loves to hug her, how sexy she is, etc.. and I just can’t take it anymore.
So I asked for a divorce and he started saying he’s sorry, he shouldn’t have done it, but he should atleast be allowed to hug his friend’s wife. Or allowed to hug women in general, feel their bodies, have chats with them online and offline and meet them in my absence.. he says, is this too much to ask for? He also said: “babe, you have already seen me fuck other women, now why do much drama when it’s only hugs?”It’s like now am tired of being manipulated, controlled, and am tired of letting him get away without any consequences for his actions.
I do have proof of his sexescapades and want to know if I should go ahead and file a mental cruelty case or an infidelity case.
Please help.
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MThis has got to be a troll because nothing you said makes sense.
If he makes out with random women in parties (publicly) and goes home with them then what reputation is left to save?!
Nothing you said adds up. I cannot believe that people wouldn’t be aware of his real face and shenanigans given how open he is with his actions. People are aware of way more discreet affairs that take place in society. Your husband isn’t exactly discreet.
Also, you said you loved him but the truth is you feared your loneliness. That does not equate to love. You never loved him (and shouldn’t given how disgusting he is) and he also never loved you.
File a case of divorce on grounds of mental cruelty and leave.
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PYou have gone through a lot in your marriage. This is not normal for any man to take advantage of you, he has gone too far. Don’t believe in his sorry, he doesn’t mean it. even if he mean, he will not correct his behavior in future.
File a contested divorce on the ground of adultery, as he is living in adultery with multiple women. [https://divorcebylaw.com/best-contested-divorce-lawyers-in-bangalore/](https://divorcebylaw.com/best-contested-divorce-lawyers-in-bangalore/)
For all that he has put you through you can ask for alimony/ maintenance [https://divorcebylaw.com/maintenance/](https://divorcebylaw.com/maintenance/)
Our law firm is exclusively practicing in the field of Divorce and other Family Law matters. You can consult with our senior advocate for more details and to clarify if you need further clarification. [https://g.co/kgs/VQx9CLy](https://g.co/kgs/VQx9CLy)
**Disclaimer:** In the absence of all the facts of the case, the comments given may not be the best solution for your case. One on one consultation with a legal counsel/ advocate is advised to get better guidance.
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Vop, nal.
but a male.
i am taken back by what you’ve gone through.
this guy’s just ridiculous, i would never do it to my wife or my girlfriend.you need to get him out of your life right away. what a shit human he is.
please take care and move out. focus on yourself and then as far as i know, law favours females.
so the ball is in your court, give him what he deserves i.e. tough times ahead. -
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II believe this story – because I do know of a similar entrepreneur or startup founder in Delhi circle who casually makes up with random women. Back when I was single – I had come across this guy at a party and he seemed decent smooth – IIT grad very smart and I was like this looks fine and he hit up on my friend who was also single at that point and we went to his place because he said he has a rooftop and that we could hangout there, his house was in Hauz Khas near to the place where we had this party. So went there and the entire house was setup and there were woman’s shoes etc and then I went to use his restroom and on the bedside was a photo frame of him and his wife’s picture. Like wtf. We confronted him and he said his wife is cool with it. So anyhow we ran away. But ya that guy is doing ok in his life – was also on Forbes 30 under 30 at some point.
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RSister, lawyer up (real lawyer, not Reddit lawyer) and rip him a new one…file a complex case for both mental cruelty and infidelity case and more, hopefully you don’t have kids…and that you are able to take the courage to stand up for yourself and prevent him or others like him from taking advantage of other women. U hope he is named and shamed and also would like to get future updates on your case when it starts.
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PWhat in the fucked up made-up nightmare-inducing shit I just read? I refuse to believe this is real. No way.
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RThe dilemma you might be feeling is if you go forward with it in a legal way there is a possibility of your hands getting dirty too, cause their would be accusations from both parties.
That being said, the fear of getting your hands dirty would drag you into depression for the rest of your life – if you decide to let this matter go peacefully. It is not that easy, so for your own mental well-being fight for yourself, fight for the mental abuse and things that have been made normal to you in the name of ‘natural polygamy’ but is no way near to normal or okay.
Follow these steps first:
1. Equip yourself with proofs, as many as possible.
2. Get yourself a good lawyer, and file for a divorce.
3. Cut all contacts, communication, meetings with your husband, don’t allow your family members to have it either.
4. Keep the therapy sessions and self work to cultivate high self esteem and a fearless attitude – its your duty to fight for yourself, and dont back out from it no matter what.
What has been done is in the past now, but if you back out in the name of love, attachment, fear or whatever, you would be stuck with a life thats not worth living with ease. May the force be with you.
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LI’m so sorry for this. No one deserves to be treated this way. You have been manipulated and emotionally mistreated for too long. You’re right to stand up for yourself now. Given the proof you have, consulting a good lawyer about filing for divorce on grounds of mental cruelty and infidelity could be a strong step forward. You deserve respect, love, and peace.
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