- This topic has 45 replies, 26 voices, and was last updated 1 year, 5 months ago by
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UMy dumb friend had an obsessesive ex while we were in college who kind of emotionally blackmailed him into marrying her. I tried to put some sense into him but he did not listen to me and they got married secretly as their parents were against their relationship.
After some years, the girl proved to be a coward and backed out and told my friend that they can just breakup and no need to get a divorce because their marriage was not registered in court. I tried talking to her that divorce is still mandatory but she was an equal dumbo.
Fast forward to present, he got to know that she is married to a rich guy but he can’t take any action against her as his family will k!ll him if they found out. His parents are forcing him to get married but he thinks that he will be caught somehow. Even I don’t understand how can I help him. I am quite sure that if he gets married, his ex won’t create a problem as she is married and she is also a coward. But still, I am not sure if he will be 100% safe.
I just know that it’s 5+ years since their breakup. -
RI would suggest you sit with popcorn and let it unfold.
What are you ( the smart person ) doing with these two a bit less smart people? Like I believe you should enjoy your own life mate.
They made their own choices, let them live with their consequences 🙂
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UI tried to leave him many times, but he is my oldest friend and more like a brother to me. He even borrowed 30k from me some years ago and returned in 15 months (2k per month). I knew I was in loss but I still did it. I never helped him financially after that but I just feel pity for him sometimes.
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UYes, I also think so, but what about records? As far as I know, even if the marriage is not registered in courts, their records must be present in Arya Samaj. Also, there must be 1-2 witnesses. He asked me to be his witness proof but i didn’t go or else his parents would have beaten me also.
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POur Arya Samaj marriage was registered in a register literally. It has been 5+ years for your friend. Do you think Arya Samaj will bother to save a 5year old record? lol
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UCool. Your comment gave some relief to my friend. He too said that his marriage was recorded in a register.
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Pif the girl has destroyed the record and photos, then there’s nothing to worry about. And god forbid, if she brings it forward some day, say the pics are AI generated and Arya Samaj certificate generated from Canva. The onus is completely on the girl to prove she is not lying. It will be a big uphill battle for her to prove anything.
So I would say to relax and keep complete distance. Tell your friend to block his ex from all social media, hibernate his LinkedIn, and not release any personal information. Basically, the ex shouldn’t be receiving any updates on his new life. Don’t leave any scope for jealousy/ unresolved feelings/ friendship. Block her out completely and tell him to change his number.
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SThat is life; people will choose toxic. The song DIL H K MAANTA NI is not a random choice.Just like you, he feels love and pity for his ex.
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UMaybe you are right. In my defence, I can only say that he has been my friend since we were 6 years old.
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SNormally in your friend’s case, his ex would move on with her life and your friend would move on with his. And no one would speak a word about their unregistered secret marriage.
Is there any proof such a marriage happened though?
But the problem is, some people decide to create a problem later and then his ex might be back saying the new marriage is illegal, bigamy etc. And then he will be in trouble. The only surefire way is a divorce, but the ex wont be open to it at all as she is marrried.
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UBaat wo nahi hai, i know he was investing my money in the stock market and maybe he made profit too. But still I did not say anything to him.
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UHow did they get married in the first place if it wasn’t in court, I don’t understand this.
Am I missing something? -
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UIf it’s not registered and they married in secret like no wedding invitation, no video proof, no hindu rituals, no eye witnesses that will testify in court, etc then at best it’s not a marriage but a relationship (live in if they were living in the same house). Not a marriage.
Your friend has no problems getting married to some other girl.
If some rituals took place and there is video proof and eye witnesses and the girl decided to complaint against the guy, she can but the chances are slim now that she’s married to a rich guy.
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UYeah, i am thinking the same. He told me that she brought her friends as witnesses. But then, she is also married now. So, I think he is safe.
But what would happen when he goes to register in court? Any background checks?-
UIf it is not registered and no cases are filed, the courts have no way of finding about this marriage.
Where they got married though? In some temples, the temple board themselves offer marriage services. They get ID proofs from both the groom and bride, perform all rituals and give a acknowledgement receipt from the Temple with which the registration can be made. Have they given any ID proofs during their marriage?
But I believe that even if they have given IDs, chances of the temple board maintaining them after marriage is slim. So I believe it’s still not an issue.
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UYeah he won’t right , but if this was a girl then u would have a lot of problem as she would be a bi*tch who first did degrading stuff and then wanna spoil another men’s life with his ding her past ? Yeah but as it’s a boy , he has no problem as there is no proof , he can cheat on his future girl after such involvement right ? And later when she will take divorce then u same guys will screen on how women’s are issue on taking divorces and how now he would have to pay alimony for the divorce ? That girl was a shame to women whome he married but no other women deserves to be played like that after marriage , he better come out clean or marry someone who is also having some broken past , don’t know why that girl managed to marry again but most probably she hasn’t informed him about then and hiding it which is also too bad for her husband , ur friend should come out clean and marry someone who can accept him with such past , this way no another innocent is been harmed in this crap and also ur friend life will be more safe going ahead
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UWoah Woah. Calm down lady.
Let’s not jump the gun so fast, shall we?
> but if this was a girl then u would have a lot of problem as she would be a bi*tch who first did degrading stuff and then wanna spoil another men’s life
I agree that’s how society view this but I’m not taking this crap. I’m all for gender equality.
I was just stating the legalities and solutions for the issue and not discussing the moral part here.
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UDon’t know man! He thinks his records could come up at the time of registration but then he also tells he did not get his marriage registered, so I asked him how the records would come up then and he is just scared that what if!
I knew this day would come because his ex was seriously crazy and not at all in her right mind. God knows what he saw in her.
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U> I am quite sure that if he gets married, his ex won’t create a problem as she is married
Legally she can’t because marrying 2nd time without a divorce is a criminal offence and she will be in trouble. It is unlikely that this will be a big issue because someone(your dumb friend) needs to file a complaint to initiate criminal action.
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