- This topic has 54 replies, 41 voices, and was last updated 1 year, 5 months ago by
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USo long story short. He got married to a girl he found on matrimonial website 1.4 years ago. It was a rushed affair. He didn’t do a bg check. The girls mother is separated from the father and ran away with money (or so they claimed) no one from the. Girl side came for the wedding except a couple of her lady friends.
Fast forward she never let him get physical and it’s happened only a handful of times and during those times she has stopped him right in the middle of the act and left him high and dry. The guy has been affectionate and caring to a fault all along.
She’s lived like a Batchelor life in his house and would not mingle with his mother and just come home at night, have food and sleep and get up in the morning and go to work without speaking much. On Sundays she would find some excuse or the other to not stay at home. She eventually complained that he snored asked him to sleep outside the room. He felt even more terrible and has been keeping to himself.
And every second day she would say he’s not affectionate or he’s not caring or he’s not this or that and pick fights over nothing and would always find an excuse to go visit her mother who lives in a different city.
Finally she fell sick as a dog recently and he needed to tend to her full time for weeks and suddenly she sat up one day and told him in a flat, collected tone “let’s end this, you and I can never get along” this guy is so love lorn and doesn’t know what to say or do. She’s convinced him to divorce mutually although he doesn’t want to.
And she abruptly went to her mother’s home without even coming home after saying all this in the hospital.
6 months ago she’s tried telling about a job opportunity in Ireland where her friend is already working etc n that she wants to go n live there n work for a few years before returning n told him she can stay with her friend to keep the cost low etc and that didn’t materialise.
She’s applied for a loan using his name and has also taken a car with his money and registered in her name.
She’s now at her mother’s place and the mother is lobbying and advocating divorce claiming what if I lose my only daughter because she’s claiming to kill Hershel’s rather than live with him.
In her hurry to go she’s left her laptop at his place and today my friend has opened her laptop for the first time and opened one of her email accounts.
He’s seen that this girl was in a 10 year relationship with another girl who has been forcefully married off by her parents to a guy. He’s seen pictures, videos and love letters written in ways she’s never been able to express to him.
Now she’s sent him an advocate number for divorce and wants to mutually divorce on grounds of lack of understanding.
Can someone tell me how this guy can save himself and what he should do. He says he’ll never tell her or reveal any of this in the court proceedings to preserve her modesty and now I’m stuck with such a big conundrum that only I know apart from him.
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UHow does a friend know this much detail about this guy’s life. And if it is true that a friend knows then the guy is at fault as he is broadcasting his private life.
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UWhat I’ve observed from these case nowadays:
1. Matrimonial websites for matches (not much bg check)
2. Hurried marriage
Feel free to add your observations under my comment thread 🙂
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UFirst, he needs to practically evaluate the situation and come to a basic understanding that he will never have a future with this girl and accept that she has cheated him of a chance to have a happy married life. He’s nothing more than a cash cow to her. Once he understands this, he should be more open to looking at the situation practically.
1. Reach out to the bank and remove his name from the loans.
From the information OP has provided- it seems that his best chance to start afresh is get a divorce on mutual grounds and close this chapter forever. He can try to negotiate to see if she is willing to return atleast some part if not entirely the money spent on the car. High chances are that she wouldn’t and even then imo, it’s just best for OP’s mental health to get a divorce and move on. Paise toh dobara kamalega
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UIn case of a mutual divorce, the terms of divorce are whatever is agreeable to both parties. So it comes down to his negotiation. If she really just wants to get rid of him, then high chances are that she’ll agree.
For gold- if they can mutually agree on a settlement of sorts then yes. Otherwise, whatever is given to her during marriage (assuming they are both hindus) forms a part of her stridhan and is legally her property.
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UOh, thank you for clarifying. They gave her some after the marriage, as in during their first anniversary a few months ago he got her some necklace and chain etc will that also be clubbed as stridhan?
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UThe girl wants a mutual divorce. Ask your friend to write an agreement that he does not owe her any alimony and give her a divorce. When a woman wants a divorce, she will be given- one way or another. This would avoid any 498a or any other proceedings to the guy’s family.
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UThis. Also make sure he has all the proofs of their chats , love letters or pictures or whatsoever. Just for the safe side because you never know what one would do in the desperate moments. And since you also mentioned about her mother’s past, you will never know if she Will persuade her daughter for any further troubles. It is always best to be prepared for what is to come.
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UThe good thing is here is that the woman seems to want a mutual consent divorce. I’d suggest that you don’t miss this momentum and finalise a divorce or at least a separation agreement as soon as possible.
You can try to get some of the money back, but don’t try too hard. The laws are not in your favour. Cut your losses quick when there’s still time.
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USo, my guy married a Lesbian?
I had similar doubts about my ex, she was more of an asexual but wanted to marry and all talking lovey-dovey. I just didnt find much physical intimacy from her side, didnt wanna have dead bedroom problems probably some childhood trauma or something.And for the friend, get his finances sorted, divorced without any alimony and get some good chicks for him to bang, My man has suffered too much.
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CThese are the kind of women who give a bad name to the whole gender.. If your friend is not in a hurry to remarry, ask your friend to make her life difficult..
1. Gather all evidences
2. Approach a lawer – lawyer will suggest best methods to make her life difficult.. They have connect with local cops too.
3. If she goes 498A way, hire goons and threaten her mother.. 498A will not last long!!
4. File a case for restitution of marriage.
5. Once she feels the heat, go for a mutual with the condition of no alimony.All the best!
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UCall the bank and let them know he did not sign any loan documents and she forged his name. Get a divorce attorney and see about pressing charges for having the car transferred to her name without his consent. A lot of fraud going on here. Tell her she doesn’t get a dime and sign the divorce documents or get prosecuted for both fraud charges.
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UWhy tf would he let her take loan in his name call and cancel it maybe dont they need the guys signature or someshit to confirm that loan is been taken on his name or she used some app file a complaint cuz divorce is only way, be glad he don’t have a kid she will ruin the kids life too and his now he have to pay alimony i guess get a better lawyer and make sure to help him in process and ask lawyer to win the case and not pay more maintenance for her don’t let him think he can change her these kind don’t change it will ruin his life the end.
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Ehow did op consider marriage with a family that does not have a male family member? in all such cases, such families develop a hatred towards male gender.
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UNot just that, they have a boy who is much younger, living with the mother. He’s not their son but till date they didn’t tell the truth about who this boy is. And for the wedding there were about 900 people from my friend side and only the girl, her mother and this boy from their side
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UWhat exactly do you mean he doesn’t want to divorce? Trust me he would be the luckiest person in the world if this girl is agreeing to a mutual separation and can fuck off asap without a kid being involved.
And ask him to start searching another matrimonial sites with learnings from this experience. End of story mate.
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