- This topic has 32 replies, 33 voices, and was last updated 1 year, 3 months ago by
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RMy gf and I are planning to marry. And the surprise comes now. She wanted to gift a house for her parents, brought them a house 3 years back. 15+ years of homeloan is still pending. The house is in her mother’s name. Though I wanted to have the house in her name, I later agreed to be happy with 50-50 split between her and her brother. Now she wants me not to expect this 50% too. Her parents shall have the final right regarding the inheritance in the will, I should be okay with a 0% ownership.
Am I the asshole for expecting this for our future ? After all me and our future kids are also blood relations who deserve a pie of her hard earned money.Thoughts please.
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UI have few points here to share
1. After marrige, all money she get from salary will get spent in paying EMI, and you will feel, their is no money coming from her end to the house and you are paying for maid, cook and other expenses and your wife coming home everyday tired, so why even she is doing the job and issues between you two might get created.
2. If she had to left job because of pregnancy, then you have to handle that situation as well.
3. As the EMI is fixed, after 3 or 4 years, as your wife salary get increase, if will give you some relief that, now she might start contribuing or bad things can happen like at that time her parents gets old and she might also fund their pension.
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HThe responses to this post have got me worried.
1. There is no difference between a son’s and a daughter’s responsibilities to their parents and their sibling.
2. OPs response might be practical, but it’s coming out as someone super invested in their partner’s earnings. I am saying this because I do not know you, OP. Maybe you are looking out for her,maybe it is something else?
3. I think all you should look for now is what is remaining out of your girlfriend’s salary after her living expenses and the EMI? Sure, her salary will grow, but if there is nothing remaining- what does it mean for you two?
4. Your girlfriend is absolutely not cheating you. In fact, given your response, she might be worried about your intentions. You are not married. Ten years from now, she might want the entire house 100%. Her parents might not even want to give a part of the property to the son, or the brother might not want anything. All of these are talks.
The only thing you should be worried about is that- Is she taking undue advantage of you financially now, or will there be a scenario in the future?
Is someone talking undue advantage of her, or will there be such a scenario in the future? In this case- there is not much you can do if she can not see it. I don’t know how much this house costs. If it is not much- then maybe it is a risk worth taking or worth taking a chance on people?
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LWhy don’t you book another house in your name? And pay the EMI from your salary? Keep that as your family inheritance.
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UDo you have a sister and parents?
Why not gift your amazing parents and sibling a house and give your parents a complete ownership.You 2 can stay in a rented place. It’s your decision if she’s coming and live with you.
Be careful while marrying such materialistic & selfish people.
Think about a possibility of divorce for just a second, you have no security, she has all the right to take away half of your assets and the opposite is not true at all, you don’t have any access to her assets. This seems like a one sided effort with zero equality.
I would leave her immediately.
Decision is yours. -
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AIt depends on some factors –
1. Is she earning a lot and her brother not much ? If that is the case, it is understandable. Not every one is lucky to have a good career and she probably would like to have same standard of living for her brother.
2. Does her parents give a lot of gold for her marriage?
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ARage bait.
1. A person can’t buy home on loan and doesn’t have ownership rights. A got loan, gave it to B and died. How is bank gonna get the money back? OP is hiding facts.
2. Gender swap – This is common nowadays to buy property in the parents name to save alimony. She is doing the same. What is the problem if you are not even contributing? Her money, her decisions.
3. Communication – Why did she changed tracks? There is a communication gap between you if she is not telling you the reason. It may be manipulation from her family or you might have triggered her some way, indicating you care more about property than her autonomy.
Additionally, what about decisions after marriage? You both gonna do “my way or highway”?
4. Financial awareness – Have you talked about how you both manage after marriage? If Both are earning, surely you both have some plans. Her salary is gonna divided between emi and living expanses. Is it ok with you? If it isn’t, you also should not be contributing to your own parents welfare. “Do not do unto others what you would not have them do unto you”. Treat her parents as same as you would yours. You want to create a better future for your parents, so does she. ( At this point, if OP said his parents are dead, this would become farcical. )
Additionally, did you offer to pay contribution in emi for faster payment AND her name on property?
Sorry for being harsh, but OP triggered me.
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DLet me be an absolute pessimist 👿
Scenario:
You get married. You buy a house for both of you. You paying EMI for your house. She paying EMI for her parent’s house.Things that can happen:
1.She got fired from job.
2 .You get fired from job
3. Any accidents, that will lead to bed ridden state . So that job is not in the option. But have to find money for treatment.
4. Any plans for children?
Too many unknown things can happen and will happen.
I know, you are head over heels for your girl.
Think with your brain man.
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QNAL..
OP i understand your side. To answer your question, yes you are the a$$hole for expecting a share of the property, when you are not contributing to the emi (assuming as you did not specify this)
You are not living in the 1950’s, it’s 2025 and it is your GFs choice on what she does with her property.
That being said, it’s your choice whether to marry her or not. However if you marry her, please reach an agreement that since it’s her decision to not give you a share in her property post marriage, you are also not liable to pay any emi towards said property nor be held liable to pay for any emi, fines, fees, property tax, legal issues arising out of said property in the event if she is unable to pay for the emi.
Also add a clause that she likewise is also not entitled to any share of property that you purchase out of your own pocket and of your own money/assets and are solely paying for in future. Icing on the cake will be if you add a clause that includes any property jointly owned by you and your gf post marriage and she agrees to that. (One can dream)
Get a lawyer to write the agreement and print it on stamp paper with a value of INR 500/- or above and have her sign this and also get it notarized after she signs.
Please note in case you buy any property on your own without including her, please put in your mother’s name.
Hope this helps..
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SFinancial incompatibility is one of the major reason for a divorce. You thinking this through is a really smart thing. Don’t listen to people who say otherwise. I have seen major issues cropping up later down in the line because people don’t think through.
You would have been absolutely wrong if you expected even a part of the house to be in your name. But you want it in her name and potential future kids which is an absolute fair ask.
You both seem quite incompatible financially. I would rethink about the relationship if I were you.
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SYour post is generic and does not have a substantial legal issue involved.
If you have questions about this removal, please [contact the moderators](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/LegalAdviceIndia).
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Ethis is gonna get worse in future when u gonna need money for something and she is not gonna contribute bcz of EMI .
it’s 15 years of headache , ask her what happens if you reverse the situation. like you paying emi for a house that you bought for your parents and your sister will get the ownership after loan is paid.
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