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HMy family met a girl through the arranged marriage process for my brother. We met her only twice—once when my parents met her and her family, and the second time when my brother and I were present as well. However, my brother didn’t like her and decided to reject the proposal.
There was almost a month-long gap between these two meetings due to unforeseen events. During this time, my brother and the girl spoke on the phone maybe twice and exchanged only a few text messages. He was never interested in the proposal, but since my parents liked her, they wanted him to meet her once, which he did.
The girl’s family was informed about a week ago that we would not be proceeding with the proposal. As soon as they received the news, the girl and her father started calling us repeatedly. The girl wanted my brother to reconsider because she had become “attached” to him and wanted to marry him. However, my brother firmly told her that it wouldn’t be the right decision and that they couldn’t move forward. It took her some time to accept the rejection, but eventually, she did.
The issue now is with her father. He hasn’t stopped calling my dad since they got the news. My dad doesn’t answer because he feels bad rejecting a nice family, but at the same time, he knows there’s no point in discussing it further, as my brother’s decision is final.
Today, we found out that the girl’s father had already informed the people in his “community” that his daughter was going to get married. Apparently, in their community, once a girl is introduced to a potential match, it means the arrangement is final. He also mentioned that his daughter has refused to consider any other matches and has threatened to commit suicide if she doesn’t marry my brother?? Wtf
I just want to know if they can file any legal case against us. Thank you
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QNAL. But even a child knows an answer to this. Of all things considered, do you think this will be a happy marriage if your brother and family agrees to proceed? Dont waste your time and life. Let that sink in. A girl, her whole family, and their whole community are narcissists.
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CIncase the girl suicides, keep a screenshot of you saying y’all don’t agree with the arrangement with the day and date(because after that they spread the news even while you rejected). Mostly no legal action will occur but you can never be too sure in India. Keep all the screenshots ready if they start to harass you and keep screenshot of the suicide message too
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S>Incase the girl suicides
What rubbish!! They barely spoke. What’s this attachment and all that??? People be crazy!!
This won’t even happen. They just being manipulative, but failing miserably at that.-
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SThere’s no way court will find the boy’s side guilty anywhere. You saying this, is just fear mongering.
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SBhai /s lagale yaar 😭
Previous post was girl claiming their consensual was not consensual and then this 😭 -
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UNAL. This is not just a red flag, it’s a red bed sheet. Don’t have any further communications. Save screenshots of previous conversations as well just for safety. How could someone get attached in such a short time? Just walk away.
For some reason they seem too desperate , you might be from well off family or you are being too nice which they want to take advantage of.
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HLegally, they can’t do anything against you. Saying no to a marriage proposal isn’t a crime, and just because your families talked doesn’t mean you’re obligated to go through with it. However, since they’re repeatedly calling and making concerning statements, it’s a good idea to keep a record of all communication in case things get worse. If the threats continue, your family might want to consult a lawyer or even go to the police for harassment.
Also, this lady and her family are massive red flags. If, by any chance, your family reconsiders, they will make your life hell. Your family dodged a bullet—stay firm in your decision.
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SNo lawyer needed but i would suggest write facts and go with your mother to a police station say you want to file a report of harassment without filing an **FIR**, you can submit an **informal written complaint** or a **Non-Cognizable Report (NCR)** at the police station. Here’s how it works:
1. **Write a Complaint Letter** – Include details like:
– Your name and contact details
– The name (if known) and details of the harasser
– Date, time, and location of the harassment
– A clear description of what happened
– Any supporting evidence (messages, call records, etc.)
Don’t add any lies to make it more sensational2. **Submit It at the Police Station** – Visit the nearest police station and hand it over to the duty officer.
3. **Get an Acknowledgment Receipt** – Ask for a **diary number** (General Diary Entry) or a stamped copy of your complaint as proof that it has been recorded.
4. **Follow-Up If Needed** – If the issue continues, this record can help escalate to an **FIR** or legal action later.
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UHer father and their community should change their norms. Just because a proposal was initiated, it shouldn’t be deemed final.
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SIf he did commit suicide, your brother and family will face consequences because they, too, made a mistake.
If your brother’s decision was final and he did not like the girl, what is the point of talking to her and exchanging texts?
Your brother should have spoken with your father first before approaching the girl, as this is considered taking advantage under the guise of marriage.Talk to them because they have suffered humiliation because of your family, and if things go wrong, the law favors women, and you have made some mistakes.
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FBS!! Don’t talk about things you know nothing about. How is a man supposed to know if he can spend entire life with a woman unless he talks with her? In this country, every person is free to talk and exchange texts with the opposite gender as long as they want but there is no compulsion to go ahead with the marriage unless absolutely sure. A man can’t be expected to take decision of marriage after talking with a woman’s father. He ain’t marrying the father, is he?
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SSorry if I misunderstood anything…I read that the OP stated that their BROTHER WAS NOT INTERESTED IN THE PROPOSAL FROM STARTlNG.
If his brother was not interested then he should have directly confronted to his father to tell the girls parents that he is not interested rather then talking with the girl and giving him false hope..Regarding the personality..if he has find something after talking with her then it makes sense but the op has mentioned that his brother has broke the marriage because HIS BROTHER WAS NEVER INTERESTED IN THE PROPSAL and yet talked with him for almost a month ..
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FEven if somebody is not interested in a particular proposal, he/she may talk with the prospect just to see if there is some chemistry or they like something about each other. Nobody can take a final decision based on just a photo or biodata. What his brother has done is very common.
He only talked for a month, that’s nothing. Many people even talk for a year and go on multiple dates during that time before coming to a final decision about marriage. Unless marriage was promised at any stage, it’s not a crime to simply back out due to any reason whatsoever.
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SI never said it was a crime, but if a woman committed suicide and left a suicide letter with the name of the OP’s family, I suppose it would be a crime.Remember the Jiya Khan actress case? Suraj Pancholi got in trouble simply because she was in a relationship with him and her mother did not agree to it, resulting in a breakup and her suicide (of course, there were many reasons for her suicide).
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H>Even if somebody is not interested in a particular proposal, he/she may talk with the prospect just to see if there is some chemistry or they like something about each other.
EXACTLY! He spoke with her because our parents assured him she was a nice girl, but he found her emotionally immature. They barely communicated during this time. Both the girl and her family knew that nothing was finalized between them. Their behavior stems from him meeting her in person and then rejecting her, which goes against their community norms.
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UNAL. What “community” is that, once a girl is introduced to a “potential” match its equal to girl is in a “confirmed” match? There is something seriously wrong with this whole thing. Your brother’s spidey sense is more amazing than a spider man movie.
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FThere is nothing they can do legally. Until the knot is tied, you are well within your right to reject a potential match. Their community traditions and/or expectations are not your headache. Block their numbers and move on. The girl won’t commit suicide, rest assured. These are nothing but emotional blackmail strategies.
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UFrom your description it seems they are too selfish and weak to do anything. The real problem is, which they have figured out, is in your family. They can dominate your family all their lives, because you guys will allow them to.
Stop negotiating with them. For your family, they dont exist more than a random commuter in local transit. -
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YThe girl and boy should meet first outside somewhere in cafe and then parents and others can meet. Coming to girls house again and again and then rejecting creates a scene and not a good feeling for the girl and her family. In India arrange marriage process is weird and usually the guys family have the upper hand.
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HIt was a collective decision that my parents would first approve a potential match, and then my brother would meet her. He is comfortable with this arrangement. Regarding meeting locations, we never visited the girl’s house. The first meeting took place in a hotel, and the second was at my dad’s friend’s place.
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LHow nice can they be, brother dodged a bullet. They can’t force him to marry her, they don’t seem to have anything to file a case against your brother or your family, at least based on this. They barely spoke, they met once and he rejected the proposal. That’s the whole reason these meetings even happen. Keep a record of all correspondences just in case they try to create trouble.
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UI know of a friend who was a victim of such rejection. The boy met her twice over a month’s period and texted a few times leading her to believe, he was indeed very much invested in proceeding. He then flew to states and they stayed in touch through calls. The boy’s family (parents and sister) met this girl and told her they were all in favour and just need to get a final confirmation from their son and their extended family members. Since it was an AM scenario in a close community (they were from the same city) and the proposal had also come through a mutual friend, people in the circle more or less knew the two were going to be together. The girl’s family during this time also gave them some shagun. Meanwhile, the girl and the boy were happily chatting and talking so it seemed almost like a done thing. And then out of nowhere, when the girl’s family wanted to formalise the arrangement, the boy called it off. They didn’t even call up to cancel but just floated the news through the middlemen saying the girl isn’t quite a match (she works for a FAANG, has a bomb of an education and career, family os reputed, and while she may not look an Alia Bhatt, she’s a decent face). So if you see from the girl’s perspective, she was a victim of somebody’s indecision. And even though this happened probably a year or two ago, she is outcasted as if something really was wrong with her.
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DHere on Reddit, the ones who write their side first get all the sympathy and support even without knowing facts or the other side’s pov.
Who knows what was the actual reason for OP’s family to reject the proposal? Maybe their demands were not fully met? Otherwise why it was not rejected then and there at the time of first meeting itself? Why wait for months?
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UBut if you take the story by op.
They only met twice.
There is no way one should get attached that quickly, right?
Sometimes if two people meet in AM they will talk for a few days and find out that they are not compatible.
Or one of them feels it is not a good match.
Then they should separate, right?
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ULadki pagal h? Dusra ladka milega koi ek week mein usse attachment ho jyga she has abandonment issues for sure and your dad still feels bad is like every dad ever
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UIdk it might sound too much but you should inform the local police about it or just casually ask them what can be done in such a scenario. Because it’s good to keep them in loop if the things go south. Another thing, your father have that call recording of saying no to the girl’s father? If yes, then good. If no then get that recording somehow. Make your father call them again and politely saying no and requesting the girl’s father to understand his point.
All these things might be really helpful.
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UOP, talk with your lawyer once. And have all the text and voice messages and chats between your bro and that girl preserved. Then act as per your lawyer says. Most likely they can’t do shit since rejecting an arranged marriage proposal isn’t illegal. You can also file an FIR saying they are blackmailing your family with suicide threats to force the marriage.
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UHonestly his brother’s behaviour sound a bit sus. I don’t believe just by 2 normal conversation somebody could go this crazy. Honestly it’s weird to talk on the call before meeting a face to face setup, and also this is her side of story we don’t know what actually transpired so let’s not talk bad about the girl.
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UI actually don’t understand why your brother would want to meet a girl or even talk to her if he was not interested in the first place.
It is really not that uncommon in traditional communities that you shouldn’t meet the girl if you are not truly interested. The girl is not any toy ki shaadi ke naam pe ghar ghar jakar ladki dekh li family pressure mein, baat bhi karli on several occasions, and fir bolo sorry yaar Mai toh family pressure mein hun.
Completely understand the girl’s father if that’s how traditional the community they belong to thinks. Doesn’t make it right but you should also try to understand and not be disrespectful.
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