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UI need some guidance regarding my situation with my girlfriend and her family. I’m 33M, and my girlfriend is 26F. We’re both Hindus, and we’ve been in a loving and mature relationship for some time now. Recently, I met her parents, and while the meeting initially seemed fine, the next day, they told her they were against our relationship.
The reasons they gave were, frankly, unrealistic. They expect me to buy a 2BHK in their locality within two months and are concerned about cultural differences and social status. For context:
I live in a fully owned house in the central part of Mumbai, while they live in the western part.
I earn ₹1.5L+ monthly, and my family is fully supportive of our relationship. Her parents are now pressuring her to end things with me. Her mom keeps crying, her dad raises his voice and gets hyper, and they’ve even asked her to stop going to work. They told her she could only marry me if she left their house. Their main concern seems to be “what will relatives say?”
We’ve decided to keep convincing her parents for now, but if things don’t work out, our last resort is for her to leave her home and marry me. My questions are:
1. **If she leaves her home and we live together unmarried, can her parents take any legal action against us?**
2. **If we secretly register our marriage in court first and then she leaves to live with me, will that legally safeguard us?** (I’m particularly worried about her parents convincing her to back off and file false charges against me later.)
3. **Should we inform the police after she leaves her house, stating that she’s leaving of her own free will, to prevent any legal trouble for either of us?**We want to handle this situation responsibly and legally while respecting her parents’ emotions, but their unreasonable demands and behavior are making it very difficult. Any advice or insights would be greatly appreciated!
Used ChatGPT for framing of sentence and to avoid grammar mistake.
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UIk the popular answer would be to ignore her parents and let the girl choose whom she wants to marry etc etc etc.
But as a guy , you should end it . Marriage should be a place of peace for you. Sooner or later they’ll poison their daughters mind. Any small argument/disagreement, she’ll start to wonder whether her parents are right. It might end up being a life long fight between you and her parents. No need to have such complications in your life.-
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VThis is the best response to your predicament. Girl will eventually go back to the parents who may poison the relationship. Not worth the hastle in long run.
Regarding the legal aspect, both are adults so getting court marriage is enough for both to live together. More than enough for the landlords and police. -
UThis is a good answer. However, OP knows the girl better, and if her family are bound to wreck his peace of mind in the future. The logical thing may be to end the relationship. But do we know if the girl will definitely get influenced by her parents? What if the girl is herself uncomfortable in her parents’ home? All these things should be questions OP should ask himself before planning the next steps. It’s about faith and trust.
As for complications in life, well, can anyone guarantee that if OP marries a girl whose parents are on board, there won’t be any complications in future? Let’s just accept – all marriages are a leap of faith. 🙂
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UI saw this with my neighbour. Married after 6 years of relationship. Parents didn’t approve. Happy couple. Guy lost job during COVID. She went back to parents. Suddenly after 2 Months Filed domestic abuse + divorce case to pressurize the guy to sign divorce. They separated and she remarried someone of her parents’choice with a year.
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UOp ji, Tbh I find this guy right,
My ex was muslim
And her brother had already started to poison her against me, I understood that sooner or later the poison will come into my family.We ended on mutual respect and love and we still are good frds where we love each other but know that we can’t be together.
But every girl is diff, what if yours doesn’t get influenced easily and can distinguish that who and what poison is getting poured
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UYou can be in a relationship with someone without marriage. Marriage simply means incuding the government in your relationship.
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DIt’s a lot complicated than that. Marriage also allows the partner to be called during an emergency. Allow claims in case one of them were to die. Saying “involve the government Durr Durr” is a very naive statement.
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UOnly a false kidnapping case can come atop of you and it’s a tedious process to prove it false,In my suggestion,Marry with a register marriage ,make the SI ,The registrar and possible a local politician or social worker as a witness,They’ll also come running for all the coverage. care for the physical safety of your Future wife ,you too should be careful when you are in public.Our country people can be imbeciles when it comes to these matters.
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QYou are both adults, and no one can stop you from getting married.
To address your concerns:
1. They cannot stop you from living together or take any legal action. However, you’ve to be 100% sure that the girl will not get swayed by her parents and turn against you. She can later file a rape case against you.
2. You can go to the court and get married, no one can stop you, you are adults. However, you’ll need two witnesses, ask your parents to sign for you.
3. You can ask the police for protection only when there are threats from her family to harm any of you. The police will provide protection in such a case.
The best way out is to convince her parents and get your parents/ their relatives/ other adults to talk to them. No parent wants to see their child unhappy, they will come around.
It will take time, but they’ll understand. Please ensure your gf is ready to face the consequences if you guys plan to elope. It will be mentally and emotionally difficult for her to leave her parents and get disowned by them.
Please sit down and discuss all the consequences before you take any action, this will be the most important decision you guys will ever make in your lifetime.
All the best!
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SFor court marriage registration you have to get married first as per Hindu rituals and perform saat phera (photos required). Arya Samaj Marriage is an option for couples who wish to have a simple, quick and legally valid wedding without elaborate rituals.
– This is a prerequisite before registering the marriage under the Hindu Marriage Act.
– If you don’t do the rituals then – I think there is a waiting period before your marriage is conducted in court.
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Bdoubt reg getting married first as per Hindu rituals and perform saat phera – as ore-req for court marriage. Pl check
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SRead this – Maybe your doubts will go away
**Marriage invalid due to missing ceremonies under HMA**
In an intriguing case of Majnu vs Pushpa before the Supreme Court, a couple seeking divorce discovered that their marriage was invalid. **The Court highlighted that for a Hindu marriage to be valid, the ceremonies prescribed under Section 7 of the Hindu Marriage Act (HMA) must be performed. The absence of these ceremonies rendered the marriage invalid under the Act.**
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BSupreme Court has taken this particular case as their marriage was done in some samaj. Internet is deriving conclusions but its advisable to check if OP’s scenario is same or not.
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SLaw doesn’t change on a case by case basis. Perquisites are mentioned and clearly defined. Go and read them if you have doubts.
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BJudgement is passed based on how the Law is interpreted. Thats why we have precedents which impact future judgements. It is also based on how the lawyers presented or failed to present. Why do you think the concerned authority gave them the marriage certificate ? If 7 pheras, all ceremonies are being done then whats the point of court marriage then ? Impact of this judgement needs to be understood.
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SHalf knowledge is very dangerous – It looks like you are confusing legal requirements and personal interpretations of marriage laws. Precedents like this case **clarify ambiguities rather than redefine the law**. I think it would be best for you to consult a lawyer rather than speculate on your own and get all confused.
Have a good day.
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SNo you are not. That’s why I said that you are confusing two different things. The perquisites will not change as they are not up for interpretation. For example will the court interpret if the perquisites state that the woman is to be 18 before marriage. No. *Similarly will the court interpret if the perquisite is to conduct the marriage rituals with photographic evidence*. No.
Read my original comment. I have provided the perquisites and the scenarios.
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SWhy so like that?
If there is love, self respect can be compromised.
If self respect is a priority in a relationship. Most of the relationships fail.
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UThat was my take on life and the OP’s situation
That’s why OP made this public post so that people come up with their own opinions and suggestions/solutions to his situation. In the end he is the one who will take the call/descision.
So yes, for me
Self Respect > Love/Relationship, and I will go by it. If you have your own, go with it instead of asking why someone else has a different opinion that doesn’t match yours.
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U“One who doesn’t love himself , can never love others” that’s it. People choose life ‘partners’ and partners are people who are a part of an endeavour and continuously push it up with you , your answer lies in whether you would have someone who is self-assured of his capabilities because they put effort to master their skills or someone who is just good at complimenting and hearing you out with even that being with a pinch of salt as a ‘PARTNER’ in LIFE ?
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NFor the safety of both of you. Make sure to get married first in a registrars office. Other options are not so great. This is a well thought of advice as I have done the same when I got married. This will keep police at bay and save u from false cases even if the girl changes her mind later.
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U1. Legally, there is nothing that you parents can do, other than file a case of alleged cheating/fraud against you. The same will get quashed when the girl herself testifies that she has done it of her own free will.
2. Getting married is not necessary for any such safeguard.
3. Recommended yes, but it would probably make more sense to inform the parents itself that she has chosen to leave the house. It would save the parents from having to file a missing person report in a police station
Do keep in mind however, that the parents can legally disown her, thus alienating her from any of their assets/wealth
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UUnfortunately, i have been through this. This doubt that girlfriend may flip paralyses the process. It becomes hard to proceed in any direction. The girl has to face her family or go to court. There’s nothing you can do. Just don’t force her to go against her family. This decision should come from within herself. If her parents are physically abusive, she’s working adult. She knows what to do. Her parents can’t sue you for anything if she doesn’t want to press charges against you. So, wait for her to do something decisive and irrevocable.
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UIdeal run in: you can do whatever you want and her parents can’t do shit to you.
Realistic scenario: they will somehow find a way to sway the daughter and then your life will be a living hell as it happens to the majority. She can easily file a rape charge or dowry against you.
So for the absolute peace of your sanity, either get a 100% from her that she wouldn’t F you in the future or if you are having even 1% of doubt(like if her relationship was great with her parents before which makes the swinging easier and etc) then just end it all my guy.
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CDon’t buy the new flat talk to your parents and talk to her, if everyone agrees get a court marriage if the girl insists on getting a new flat think your decision to marry her again. I love the story where the girl’s parents were against the marriage but the boy’s father simply said “They are adults either you accept them and do a proper marriage or don’t come to him when they elope together, that won’t be my problem that will be your problem alone”. 😂
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UIn matter of days the girls parents will blackmail her into leaving you. You only have a few days to convince the girl to leave her house. If you can’t or if she cannot, forget about the whole thing. Her parents are not approving you because of a certain reason, maybe they want someone wealthier or in the same caste. The house thing is BS.
Had a relationship like this once. We decided to wait until the parents agreed but it was the wrong decision as the parents threaten to eat poison and she cut it all off. Got married in the next 4 months.
I didn’t regret to live the decision as I found someone else and I’m super happy with her.
Also, a personal take- it’s always better with parents blessings.
Takeaway
1- take her out of her parents house asap and live with the consequences.
2- if she doesn’t, you’ll find someone better.
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