- This topic has 62 replies, 49 voices, and was last updated 1 year, 2 months ago by
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NWe met through marriage broker and liked her profile.
We went to her home on Sept 2024 and we liked each other. And marriage was decided on Nov 2024.
I am working and she isn’t. Marriage was rushed since both of our fathers were retiring.
She talked well before the marriage and everything changed completely after that.
After the marriage, she brings out often that she married only for her parents. She completely avoided being close after a week when we moved to the city.
She always complaint about me to my brother and his family, and also to her family. Almost all of these were lies.
Few such are am not talking to her, am not walking along with her, not touches her. But the thing is even if I talk, she just replies and stops; always walks behind me and never allows to be near her.
Then one day she informed she will go for a night stay to her friends place. I asked about the friend and address repeatedly, but she never told. I told ok, we both will go. She told she didn’t like it and started cursing. I got frustrated and told her to leave the house. She told I was waiting for this and left.
After that I talked to her father, he informed he will send her in a week. It became months. 3 months gone.
We sent our relatives and one of their relatives to speak with her and her family. She informed them she doesn’t want to live with me anymore. And don’t want to spoil her life.
We spent nearly 25 lakhs in the marriage.
What are some practical steps i can do.
Need help.
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KNAL.
You can hire a lawyer and seek proper advice. But getting a good and reliable lawyer is a bigger challenge than your problem at hand.
Anyways, OP did you make any effort to communicate directly with your wife and convince her on returning back home?
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NNo…I didnt talk to her and she didnt talk to me too. I visited her father and sister once, but they never talked about the same.
In the 2 months we were together, she didnt show any interest in me. She treated a random 3rd person well, not me. I felt at one point, I am tired of this too.-
CNAL.
I have two friends with similar situation of a spoiled marriage but different circumstances.
One thing I learnt from them is, whether taking a legal or any other remedial step, any statements you make in front of others, especially some lawyer, mediating officer, court etc., do not say anything that implies that YOU want seperation/divorce/freedom or are tired and frustrated with her and all.. always show that you are willing to co-operate for remedies. Helps you with being on good side of others.-
DHey OP, Good suggestion👆👆 Also, DO NOT raise voice against her at any point of time nor fight with her alone or in public too. Also, try not to meet her alone because she is clearly not interested in continuity the marriage and hence might blame you or tell lies to her family or even courts that you shouted at her or verbally abused her!.. Please meet her only in front of her parents along with some company with you and audio record the conversation during this meeting where you ask her why she does not want to continue this marriage with you. Take care. Best wishes.
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Nyeah….as i mentioned both of our father are retiring the next month after marriage. And we are old too – 33M & 29F.
And yes, it was rushed.-
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YFor some people it is. Not everyone in the world has the same thoughts. He is accepting it was rushed. Anyways it is pointless now, it is not something he can change.
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Si do feel sympathy for you but you did rush it. its your entire fucking life on the line. the dads retiring should have played zero role in this decision. its better to be single than live with someone who doesn’t want to be with you.
my suggestion is to ask for a divorce amicably. but do lawyer up before approaching them in case she has married only to get a hefty alimony.
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DHi. I’m a Delhi based lawyer. If you’re also not keen to reconcile, you can try drawing up terms of divorce on both sides and see if a mutual divorce can be filed, if both parties agree upon the final terms. Since the marriage barely lasted, the issue of alimony doesn’t really exist in the lawful sense. The expenses incurred by both sides should be the only point of contention. Although both parties need to live apart for a period of one year before filing divorce, that is something that can be dealt with.
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BJust talk to her and family and politely opt for mutual divorce.
Don’t demand anything elsewhere things can go south
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LReally have to be blind to rush into marriage even with what’s going on nowadays ..
I don’t get it – why can’t people wait to find the right partner whom they are compatible with ?-
BIt’s weird seeing new reasons every single time and no one seems to learn. “Fathers were retiring”.. so?!!
But more power to people who finally mutually divorce rather than drag these kinda meaningless decisions over trivial reasons.
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I1. Be in communication with her or her family, and keep things as gentle and polite as possible (and keep evidence of this as well).
2. If feasible and her family supports it, you could consider marriage counselling.
3.If the wife is amicable to a mutual divorce, make sure that your interests are taken care of. Although legally, she is entitled to a lot, and under threats, many women get away with much but when done practically, it is not uncommon for wedding gifts to be returned.
4. But do not make this about ego or justice; it is about cutting your losses and quitting while you are ahead.
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MNAL. Since you asked for practical advice, first you need to forget about the money spent. Whats gone is gone. Thats not coming back.
You have two options-
1. If you want to reconcile and she wants the same. You can give it a go.
2. Go for a mutual seperation if thats what both of you want.Getting in a messy divorce situation with cases and counter cases is going to hurt you mire financially and emotionally.
Think over what you want. Talk to your wife about what she wants and come to a mutually agreeable decision.
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VTake your parents, and other family members. Make it a surprise visit, have a proper talk with her parents before you find yourself making the rounds of family court.
Also, do not make any decisions based on your emotions. Choose your words wisely.
A wise person once said ; Bolna chaandi hai toh chup rehna sona, bol ke na batao ke tum chutiye ho.
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HThere might be some other person in the picture. Like an ex. Atleast try to find the root cause so that you can argue on a level field. Her father might be aware of her past.
Right now, they are trying to pin the blame on you.
>Then one day she informed she will go for a night stay to her friends place. I asked about the friend and address repeatedly, but she never told. I told ok, we both will go. She told she didn’t like it and started cursing. I got frustrated and told her to leave the house. She told I was waiting for this and left.
This definitely sounds like she was planning to meet someone. Did she actually leave to her home that day ?
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Nwe moved to bangalore after marriage. There she has only her college friend(girl). She went to her home that day then to the hometown after meeting her. This is what her sister told me.
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RAnother rushed marriage, with lots of spending.Let her go don’t force her to come back.Next time don’t hurry up,do court wedding.
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D25 lakhs on a marriage that was fixed within 2 months? Sorry for the judgemental tone but i cant help myself. Also isn’t it completely fine to marry after retirement? Pf money willl also come hence everything would be smoother. Things like marriage should never be rushed like this based on such logics! I dont know what to say. Its as if everything was bound to go south like this. Hope you are able to find a solution.
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Y>Also isn’t it completely fine to marry after retirement?
Actually it’s a good time. You will have more time to give each other, go for honey moon etc
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SI don’t know which country you are from but in India, parents save for years for their children’s marriage, and they keep the money handy once their kids reach the age of marriage so that they can use it whenever the marriage id=s fixed. Literally everyone does it, at least in case of arranged marriage. Your other points are valid.
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EIf u want to continue ur marriage, there are two options:
Consult a lawyer
1. As there isn’t any cause as to why she returned to maternal home, u can file for restitution of conjugal rights as per sec 9 hindu marriage act( assuming u r a Hindu) where in court may ask her to return to ur home.
2. If she and you are okay, go for a mutual divorce which will be easy for u. -
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MIt’s gonna be really tough to patch things up after kicking her out of your place.
Think about it this way – if your job fired you and then had some random security guy ask you to come back, would you actually goback?
If you want practical tips – you have just two options:
1. Read the book “Ego Is the Enemy”, swallow your pride, and communicate directly
2. Divorce. -
ATake 25lakhs as bad debt. Lately I have been reading alot of arrange marriages are going haywire.
This is for single people who are considering arrange marriage. Once you have decided you have found someone please hire first a private investigator which will surely cost you way less then your wedding cost and in a weeks time you will get a full kundli of the girl/boy which no pandit will tell you and you can decide how to proceed further.
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ENAL.Look it’s clear that your marriage is over.Now you have to find out if it was a sham marriage and what her motives are. Get a lawyer immediately.If her motive is to be with someone else,convince her to get a mutual divorce fast.If her motive is money,then you’re screwed.You will be paying her alimony for the foreseeable future.
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UIf you spent 25 lakhs as a boy I wonder how much the girls side spent . This is the parents fault entirely forcing people to marry for the sake of it . And women can’t even open their mouths and say anything and succumb to pressure which is so stupid in 2025 .
Anyways if you have not consummated the marriage then you have an option of annulling It on the grounds of fraud .. since you were fraudulently forced to marry her when she had someone else .. u weren’t given full info etc .. but u need to collect proof of it and do this before one year of marriage . Annulment me as u were never married at all ..If you want the 25 k back then you have to negotiate it with the girls side with some kind of proofs to play the blame game and get an upper hand at negotiation
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SYou got scammed. plain and simple. You should have done more due diligence. Are you not watching the news? Even right now you appear to be naive thinking that reconciliation is possible. You need to start legal action. Hire a well-known lawyer, (spend the money on lawyer and you will have to spend less on alimony and maintenance) and start sending notice. You can’t do anything else here. You know that the more you delay the more you will have to pay the maintenance and alimony in case of divorce, right? Also, be prepared for a barrage of false cases including 498A and 377. I repeat once again, you can do nothing except accept that divorce is the only choice.
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P1. To file for a divorce, the completion of 1 year of marriage is mandatory. Only in cases of severe domestic violence or any such other things it can be condoned. From the facts stated here, there isn’t such reason.
2. You can file a Restitution of Conjugal Rights case wherein you are asking her to get back to your company. this step is only to avoid her filing any Domestic Violence or Dowry Harassment case against you. [https://divorcebylaw.com/restitution-of-conjugal-rights/](https://divorcebylaw.com/restitution-of-conjugal-rights/)
3. Meanwhile, you can talk to her to find out what are her reasons not to accept you. She might have had different expectations or had another relationship or wanted to pursue education/ career. Talk to her to know about, which will help you to make the divorce process smoother. [https://divorcebylaw.com/mutual-divorce-lawyer-in-bengaluru/](https://divorcebylaw.com/mutual-divorce-lawyer-in-bengaluru/)
[https://divorcebylaw.com/best-contested-divorce-lawyers-in-bangalore/](https://divorcebylaw.com/best-contested-divorce-lawyers-in-bangalore/)
4. You can convince her to agree for Mutual Consent divorce, which is least stressful compared to contested divorce.
5. It is clearly the rushed marriage, if your parents have spent Rs. 25 Lakhs, it is their mistake. In this era that we are living in consent matters.
For further clarification consult us [https://g.co/kgs/88uZtFD](https://g.co/kgs/88uZtFD)
**Disclaimer:** In the absence of all the facts of the case, the comments given may not be the best solution for your case. One on one consultation with a legal counsel/ advocate is advised to get better guidance.
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