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BHey everyone, I’m currently stuck in a really toxic situation. My family history is very disturbing both from my mother’s side and father’s side, there have been actual murderers involved, and multiple killings have happened. But those victims aren’t related to me . My dad is extremely conservative and gets happy when he hears about honor killings like when Hindu guys are murdered for marrying outside religion. Abuse, control, and manipulation are normal in my house. I am an atheist now and don’t identify with my Muslim background anymore, but my family refuses to accept that. Me and my boyfriend who is Hindu are both from PCM (Physics, Chemistry, Math backgrounds. Our families dont know about us now . We are trying to plan a safe future together, but we’re under a lot of pressure because of our families and culture. We have three possible options we are considering, but all of them involve big risks. Our main focus is safety and protection not just money or status. I fear my dad will try to kill my boyfriend in the future so I have some options here
Option 1 Get into an IIT, complete a B.Tech, then a Master’s degree. Work for 2-3 years in India to save up money. Then slowly plan an escape by starting a side business while still working, building savings for a few years around 3-5 years and eventually moving out of India without informing my parents. Target countries would be places with strong laws like Canada or European countries. . The goal is to live under strict laws that protect humans regardless of religion, and stay safe without being tracked down. But it’s about carrier option in this option 1 we have to get a job iit job in india. Then work collect money and move out.
Option 2 Take a regular graduation degree not IITand focus fully on preparing for UPSC exams. Clear the UPSC and become an IAS officer. IAS officers have a lot of security — government bodyguards, legal protection, and a very strong reputation. And living life long in india . However, I know my family wouldn’t care even if I had a top position they would still not accept me because of religion. So even with security, staying in India would feel risky. But being an IAS officer might at least make it harder for them to harm me directly. I’ve heard cases of ias officer got killed. I fear even in such circumstances would my family go to such extent.
Option 3 Less Preferred because this one is almost every difficult. Complete B.Tech, start working, and then while working, prepare for UPSC exams and try to become an IAS officer after a few years of work experience. But honestly, I personally feel this is way too difficult for me preparing for two extremely tough paths . If I crack IIT, it feels pointless to leave that career for another grind. So this is more of a backup idea, not something I’m focusing on.
In every option, there is risk. There is no 100% guaranteed safety either way. Risk is not only about passing the exmes and but rather survival. If I leave country iam aiming to go canada but as I know my father’s friend lives there would they stalk me ? Would local authorities fail to help me if they’re muslim . But what I’m truly seeking is safety, protection under law, freedom to live as a human not wealth, not luxury, not just career prestige. I want to be protected by the country’s laws because I am a human being not be vulnerable just because of my father’s extremist mindset. Also, if I move abroad (for example to Canada or Europe I want to know:
Is it possible for my family to track me down even if I move to a different state than where my father’s friends are living?
Are there chances that extremist actions could reach me internationally?
Or would the strong laws protect me properly once I am in a different country?
And if I stay in India and become an IAS officer (or my boyfriend does
-Would that title and government protection actually be enough?
Or could my family still find ways to harm me or cause major trouble?
Any advice or real experiences would help a lot. Thanks for reading. I just want to live freely and safely, that’s all.
I am 12th passed and I have to make a carrier decision wtf what’s wrong with you. If you wanted to become a lawyer and asked an adult how to be one and they said you’re just a kid now hold on . How would it feel you’d say I have to make a plan on my mind and feel secure so that I can study peacefully. Lol. So I will make my decision on what to do next according to what could happen in future. So some adults here stop complaining just get a job instead !! Other adults would comfort me by helping me decide a good career path
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RYou are in 11th or 12th if I am guessing correctly. Dear, HOLD YOUR BREATH AND COUNT TO TEN is all i can say
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BSo i have to pretend to be an adult so that I can overcome my overthinking and impulsive thoughts by seeking advice as if I am an adult 😂😂🤣🤣
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BI am 12th passed and I have to make a carrier decision wtf what’s wrong with you. If you wanted to become a lawyer and asked an adult how to be one and they said you’re just a kid now hold on . How would it feel you’d say I have to make a plan on my mind and feel secure so that I can study peacefully. Lol
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