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MSo, I married a girl. She has anger issues and flare up for everything. Ever since we got married (1 year) she has been abusing me and family. She now demands to live separately and want me to search 1bhk because as per her, our house isn’t hygienic and convenient. Ours is an old style house with big kitchen but we are taking steps to keep it clean and hygienic everyday. My mom and dad are some of the kindest persons you would have come across. She is now giving me two choices – either give divorce or find her 1bhk apartment and pay rent every month so that she can live separately. Otherwise she tells she will file domestic violence case against my entire family. If she files DVC, will it be legally sustainable? What should I do in this situation?
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KTrust me on this any woman who is threatening you with consequences now, is almost guaranteed that she will do it later, so be extremely cautious , a good solution will be for divorce it will be painful very painful but better to regret for 3-5 years than your complete life. Lastly make your own decisions don’t go for fleeting emotions
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PRecord everything, keep it on the downlow, then once you have enough evidence, you will need to discuss this with a legal professional or a trusted friend if the former is not an option for you. I don’t know the situation intimately, but what you are describing looks like coercive control, which is a form of domestic violence in some legal jurisdictions. Describe in detail to the professional or trusted person about the situation and come up with an action plan to escape from this situation and put yourself in a position to defend yourself against reputational damage and further psychological (possibly physical) harm. If you have kids, then it becomes more complicated and professional advice would be absolutely critical in that case! I would act on this as soon as possible.
It makes sense that she would begin to overtly abuse you and your family after the marriage has been sealed. Now that it is more difficult to get up and leave, she has less of a reason to keep up the nice person act to control and manipulate you. I’m making assumptions here, but was she also abusive when you first met, or was she someone who was very nice, friendly and seemed incredibly wholesome?
If it is the latter, then I’m afraid the longer you stay with her, the worse her behavior will get. It is a downward spiral with more brazen controlling and manipulation, which will only cause long-term harm in the long run. Even before you got married, it’s not unreasonable to think that she may have been manipulating and controlling your decisions in a more subtle way. This could be from doing this and attributing it from the angle of being excessively worried about your wellbeing and safety. There would have been subtle pressuring to get married quickly, move in quickly, and make other big decisions unusually quick. Not saying this is the case in your situation, but this is generally how coercive control develops. The domestic violence reporting threat also comes across as projection, because she is doing exactly that to your family.
What is certain is that she is blackmailing you with your reputation to financially benefit from you. I would strongly consider lawyering up to protect yourself. Hope that all goes well.
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A1. Record calls, keep everything on whatsapp chat and SMS
2. Install a secret cctv outside of your home with decent mic across home
3. Someone get this in writing or on call atleast multiple times that you did not take dowry. So dowry case is out of the window.
4. Start living away from family. In case of divorce she won’t be able to get your home under residence order.
5. Give her many gifts, take good photos with her on vacation. Keep copies of hotel bills, gifts and photos with you.If things go south, you will have all the evidence that you’re a good husband.
Get in contact with save india family foundation SIFF, deepika bharadwaj and NCIM.
I am not a lawyer but I am telling you from what I have read intensively
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ESo I got really sad for you and gpt thinks you should do:
1. Start Recording Everything
If he hasn’t already, he should start recording conversations and documenting every interaction—dates, times, what was said. This is crucial, especially if a false Domestic Violence (DV) case is being threatened. Even text messages or WhatsApp chats can be valuable.
2. Don’t React Emotionally to Threats
He should avoid saying anything in anger that can be twisted later. Stay calm, neutral, and avoid written or spoken threats, even under pressure. His goal is to avoid giving her anything that can be used against him or his family.
3. Consult a Good Family Lawyer—Privately
He needs legal advice immediately, even if he’s not ready for divorce yet. A lawyer will:
• Assess the risk of a DV case.
• Guide him on his rights if she leaves or files false claims.
• Help draft a protective legal strategy for his parents, if needed.4. Consider Counseling (Only If Safe)
If there’s even a tiny hope of resolving things peacefully, couples’ therapy might help. But if she’s already emotionally abusive or volatile, this may not be safe or productive. A therapist may still help him process everything on his own.
5. Seriously Consider Separation or Divorce
If this pattern of anger, manipulation, and threats has been going on for a year—and especially if it’s escalating—he should consider ending the marriage before it causes long-term damage to him or his family. Divorce is painful, but so is slowly crumbling under emotional pressure.
6. Don’t Try to “Prove” His Parents Are Good
Even if his parents are kind, trying to convince someone who wants to see them as villains won’t work. It’s better to focus on what he wants out of this marriage, and whether that’s even possible under these terms.
7. Build Support Outside the Home
He’ll need emotional backing from friends, siblings, or even online support groups. Being isolated while dealing with something like this can be devastating.
TL;DR:
Protect yourself, get legal advice now, and consider ending the relationship if it’s clearly toxic. If someone threatens to ruin your life unless you meet their demands, that’s not marriage—that’s extortion.
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AClearly get the divorce. If she already thinks that’s an option – that’s where it’s headed. No matter how unfair her divorce demands might possibly be – negotiate the best you can to get out of this huge trap. Going to police and courts can drain out a person’s entire life energies – regardless of if you are right or wrong. Cases drag on for decades when the terms are not mutual consent. Just the lawyers and corrupt judiciary get rich over it.
It’s frustrating – but that’s the truth of current marital laws and highly ineffective, corrupt judiciary. Law enforcement, lawyers, judges etc – all of them will extract their pound of flesh wherever they can. Most law keepers and enforcers have a criminal mindset and abuse exactly the same laws they are meant to apply for the well being of citizens.
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CRecord the conversation it will help you
And after that go for filing the divorce and show the recordings as evidence of mental harassment add some mirch masala as she is asking for money and assets or else she’ll do all this which would further help you prove your point right.
Don’t let her know about the recordings until the case comes to the court.
I’m happy I was saved from one such lunatic person she used to say that I should accept her how she is and should be ready for her anger and treat it as a norm rather than an exception as everyone around her accepts her like that.
To all men and women reading it pls don’t fall into this trap if she’s not sorry that she did rather blaming you to accept her as she is.
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IApart from anger issues, her demand isn’t bad, as in unexpected, she’s probably new to your place/city so she doesn’t have any other place to temporarily shift to, she HAS TO adjust with your lifestyle, but seems like she can’t or doesn’t want to, it’s fair as she’s marrying you not your family or how your house “rolls”. To her, it seems you and your family are still strangers, she hasn’t “accepted” your family yet.
I’d suggest talk patiently, and hear her side well, and convey your problem and the steps taken by your parents well too, come to an understanding, try the least to say. Before jumping to either options given by her.
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LThis sounds like a tough and emotionally draining situation. I’m sorry you’re going through this. No one deserves to be threatened or emotionally blackmailed, especially in a marriage that should be built on mutual respect. It’s good that you’re thinking things through calmly. Legally, false DV cases can be challenged, but it’s important to protect yourself. Consider documenting everything and consulting a good family lawyer ASAP. Don’t make decisions in fear; make them with clarity and support.
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IOmg, solution renovate your whole house. Get new interior design with modern design. Let’s her do interior. Tell her you will save money for renovate house. Simple. You must negotiate. not everything is divorce.
Make her join gym, yoga, pilates . Tell her to get hobby. These things help with anger. -
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SIf your wife is threatening to file a false domestic violence (DV) case in India, it’s important to act smart, stay calm, and protect yourself legally. Here’s what you can do:
1. Start Gathering Evidence
Record threats (calls, messages, chats, voice recordings).Save texts, emails, or any written communication showing false intentions.
Maintain a diary or notes of events with dates/times.
Install CCTV at home (if not already) to record what’s happening. If not buy a spy camera which is easily available in online/any other offline electronic shop…(Preferably go offline)
2. Inform the Police in Advance
File a NC (Non-Cognizable Complaint) at the nearest police station saying you’re being threatened with a false DV or 498A case.Mention that you’re trying to save the marriage and live peacefully.
This creates a written record that can help you later.
3. Talk to a Lawyer
Consult a criminal and family lawyer as early as possible.A good lawyer can help you prepare anticipatory bail and guide you on legal options.
4. Anticipatory Bail (AB)
If threat seems serious, your lawyer may advise you to apply for anticipatory bail under Section 438 of CrPC.This can protect you from sudden arrest if a false FIR is filed.
5. File a Complaint of Blackmail or Mental Harassment
If threats are ongoing, you can file a counter-complaint under:IPC 506 (criminal intimidation)
IPC 384 (extortion, if money is involved)
IPC 503/504 (threat/insult)
Or mental cruelty.
6. Family Counselling / Legal Mediation
You can approach a family court or mediation center to show you are open to resolving issues amicably.7. Protect Your Family
If she threatens your parents or siblings too, get separate statements from them.Try to avoid any direct confrontation or verbal fights.
Important Notes:
Do not retaliate or get aggressive – it can be used against you.Be respectful and avoid anything that can be twisted into “abuse”.
Be proactive, not reactive.
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LIf she is giving you such kind of threats , then first file a police complaint against her, after that these threats are also known as cruelty and cruelty is one of the ground to get a divorce with giving any alimony to her. Condition you need to collect the evidence of cruelty in support of your divorce case.
For the rest of the consultation contact me on my 9818473787 -
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PAs an Indian wife:
To every son or daughter their parents are the nicest. But you have to think in terms of the other person too. Ours is a love marriage. Despite that the initial years were difficult for us too with the added responsibilities. It was hard for both of us to accept our parents’ fault. We decided not to put anyone else in our relationship before us, not even our parents.
My advice would be, first you figure out what you want to do. Do you love and want to be with your partner or not. And then decide accordingly whether you want that 1bhk or file for divorce.
In my case we started living separately from my in-laws, also maintaining a healthy relationship with both side parents and everyone around us, at the same time having a life of our own too. It’s going to be our 5th year soon.
Hope you find a good life ahead too.
All the best! -
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BGet her an apartment bro. And tell us what your family is doing to her too. She wants to live separately then live with her don’t ruin your married life for your parents.
Think of it as her desperate call for help. No girl does this as the first step. This is probably her final call. Help your relationship -
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PLooks like u need to install some cameras n get visuals and audios of her behaviour towards u n then ask her to file a DVC. If her demand to live separately is justified, pls do that but if she is totally unacceptable of ur family and the conditions u really need to get her to talk to somebody who can deal with the situation like some counselor or her parents or something like that. Then you can take a decision on who is right n what needs to be done.
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RGet a mutual consent divorce. It is easy and is granted without much delay. Give her a one time alimony if that is possible. This is if you want a divorce. However, any threats regarding frivolous domestic violence complaints should be recorded. Make recordings/ take screenshots etc. Tends to get very messy and scary.
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