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MI (27M, Indian, Agarwal Marwadi) was in a romantic (not officially committed) relationship with a girl (27F, Sindhi) for 8 months. We met on Hinge, and everything felt beautiful—love, intimacy, deep emotional connection. It genuinely felt like a blessing.
Recently, her family started looking for marriage proposals for her. We had discussed it, and I was honest—I said I’m ready to date seriously but not in a place to commit to marriage just yet.
Without my knowledge or consent, she told her mom about us and asked for time. Her mom panicked and told her dad, who suddenly called me. I had no idea anything had even been said to her family.
The call was extremely aggressive. He accused me of “having bad intentions,” manipulating his daughter, and directly said things like:
**“Kya karna chahta hai meri beti ke saath?”**
**“Kya irada hai tera?”**
He even falsely accused me of stealing ₹5 lakh and demanded I return it. I felt like I was being treated as a criminal—for loving someone.He threatened to file a police complaint and ruin my family’s reputation in society. I haven’t told my parents because I don’t want to disturb their peace—they’re good, simple people, and I don’t want this toxicity around them.
After this, her family made her blocked me on every platform. She eventually contacted me through a fake Instagram account. She apologized, admitted her dad was completely out of line, and said she wants one chance to make things right. She promised no one will talk to me like that again, and said her family will accept me eventually. She asked me to stand by her.
But honestly… the damage was done. I told her I felt betrayed and shattered. I thought I had her support, but during the most intense moment, she stayed silent while her family character-assassinated me. That hurt even more than the threats. I’ve been mentally drained and unable to focus since.
This experience has left a really bad taste. I love her, but I can’t imagine a future dealing with in-laws like this. And yet, letting go feels impossible.
**If you were in my place, what would you do?**
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NPolitely accept her apology but clearly tell her it’s not going to work because of her father’s behaviour of falsely accusing you. Please take screen shots of her apology and your reply and keep. Her father had no business calling you up and talking that you when you had never even met him or even done anything to his daughter to get such a reaction. Plus the outright false accusations of stealing money shows his shrewd nature and if you decide to go ahead with this relationship it would be a real disaster. If she couldn’t control her father from calling you up and talking like that, then she won’t be able to stop him from filing any false police complaint either. I doubt anything will happen if you stay away but still better to keep evidences in case they decide to make a complaint.
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SFirst of all record everything that item says or messages. Who knows in future under her father’s pressure she files fake rape cases against you. Father’s clearly trying to bully to do into shelling out money. May be item said that she’s looking to marry you so he became quiet. Are you sure she’s not a gold digger? If father is like this how can you guarantee that she is not. Save yourself from future fake dowry cases. If fake threats can happen once, what about future? After marriage you will be cooked.
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E1. End it respectfully.
2. Block and never look back.
3. Collect and save all correspondences pointing to the consensual and casual nature of the relationship or the fact it was her and not you who proposed/is proposing a relationship of a more serious nature or is re-establishing contact.
4. Move on and live your life. Let them come at you (very slim chance).To put your mind at ease, yes it is very easy to institute a complaint of rape on false pretext of marriage but it’s very difficult to sustain the same if the police/courts go by the threshold set by HCs and SC. They would need to prove that 1) you made a promise of marriage 2) the promise was made with malafide intention of never being kept and 3) the other person was in this thing solely on the basis of that promise. The threshold becomes even greater depending upon the edge, educational qualification and duration of the woman.
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CHe accused you of stealing 5 Lakh.
On what basis he did?
That’s some serious allegation to make.Run as far as possible from her n her family.
This sounds like a huge red flag to me.
Today its 5L , tomorrow it will be more in terms of alimony or many other ways.And if you were very clear from beginning about marriage thing n told her as well still she communicated it to parents without your consent. That’s a serious breech of trust. Also her father got your mobile number, she is the one who has given it to him. Right? She knew situation at home backfired n she could have stopped your involvement in her family drama until everything had cooled down. That’s second level breech of trust.
Everything seems so bad and seem like they just need a way to escort money out of you. Nothing else.
Please safeguard yourself Op and take care. -
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EBro. You’re getting the easy way out from this. I had a similar experience. Except the girl was in no mood to let me go because she ‘invested’ so much into this relationship. Despite having given clarity that this was just a dating kind of a situation and not going towards marriage. This lady went bonkers.
Please please please get out of it as soon as possible when you’re having the upper hand. In case anything goes south and this lady also turns against you like her family then you’re done deal. Your peace of mind will be gone forever. -
CI’m your lawyer and my first advice is to block her from everywhere. Don’t contact her at all and if she contacts you anywhere on text, keep taking screenshots (do take them otherwise she might unsend). Tell her you have lawyered up so any unnecessary drama will not be tolerated. Seek closure peacefully and tell her you can’t even afford to talk to her as it puts your life in danger. Stay out of it champ I got you. The thing is if her father coerces her or himself files a case of any sort it’s not easy getting out. Judges don’t budge one bit doesn’t matter how logical the case is. Do not contact her ever man. I’ll get you bitches who’ll worship you like the god of love you are. Take care
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Eyou don’t contact her anymore. if she contacts you actively, avoid as far as possible. take note of all updates passively, don’t interfere. the problem is currently limited to their home between her and her parents. While clearly, her parents are or in near future looking for a permanent relationship through marriage, which is very normal, it is extremely bad to motivate her against it. without any strong reason, it is understood that her family will always be for her good – not you as clearly, you are mentioning as you are seeking temporary relationship. dont play arrogance.
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UPlease move on. Trust me. Thats the best way.
It will be painful and lonely at first, but you will get over it (and Hinge will still be there when you do)There are multiple things wrong here…
You are not looking to be in a LTR.. but were getting arm twisted into one.
The family is NOT compatible. -
CHad I been you, I would have told the father what a stupid person he is as I love his daughter and might as well marry her in the future like she said. And this is the response he gives. OP you’re saved. Jaha baap Aisa hai waha kuch logical nahi hai. Insecure pussy who’s trynna act like a dad just for the sake of it. Usko farak nahi padhta I’ll tell you this. Everything is money these days. Apne ghar pe kutta bhi sher hota hai
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VReady to date seriously but not in situation to commit marriage?
You don’t want to commit but keep her hanging, and then you don’t want to tell your parents because they are simple people, LOL what kind of excuses are you giving. Why don’t you want to tell your parents because they will not allow you to marry outside community, i know many marwari families I have many in my locality.
Dude you have not given her any clarity, you want her to be waiting for you and then when you get bored or get married elsewhere you want her to move on.
You are trying to take sympathy with sweet talks but truth is you only don’t want to marry her but keep using her.
Karma will hit back!
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MHey, I understand your perspective and I respect your right to express it, but I think you misunderstood a few key things. Let me clarify:
I was never trying to “keep her hanging.” I was honest from the start that I wasn’t ready for *marriage* yet, but I was serious about dating her and growing the relationship at a real, healthy pace. I never misled her into thinking I was just playing around.
I didn’t hide things from my parents out of fear of caste or community issues. I didn’t involve them because I didn’t want to disturb their peace, especially when things got ugly with her family. I’ve always been open-minded and wouldn’t reject someone because of their background.
The relationship was full of love and care from both sides. It wasn’t a situation where I was “using” her. What hurt me was being accused of theft and threatened with police action, while the person I trusted most stood by silently.
You may see it one way, but I lived this—and it’s been incredibly painful and confusing. I came here looking for perspective, not sympathy or judgment. Still, thanks for taking the time to respond.
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HRun! If she is made to choose between you and her family, there will be resentment in the future. Unless she’s voluntarily cutting off her family to prevent future issues like this, this seems to be a very obvious choice.
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HThis might seem overkill but this is keeping your mental sanity and safety in place. You don’t want to get married into these kind of families. If she stayed silent once, you will not know if she will stand by you next time, by then it might be too late.
Run. RUN FOR YOUR SAFETY.
I have a toxic family, I’ve stood up for my partner at every turn. You don’t let your family bully the person you love. Clearly she loves her family more than you.
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SBruh, If you know they’re looking to get her married, And you say, “I love her and Ill seriously date her but I dont know about marriage” Any parent will panic and their first thought would be youre just playing with her.
And if she loves you, she couldn’t just sit back and let herself be married off, so she did the reasonable thing to tell her parents.
She had known her parents all her life vs she had known you for 8 months. Of course she wont speak against her parents. Most girls wont.
And you’re right, the damage is done. First impressions are important and neither of you got a good first impression of each other.
You think theyre too uptight. (I think their reaction was warranted given the circumstances, but the whole money part was too much, they shouldnt have accused you of stealing money)
They think you’re just some guy who is taking advantage of their daughter in the name of “love”
They already asked her to cut you off her life.If you want to pursue her, youll have to put forth that you wanna marry her, even then very high chance they wont listen.
Best thing you can do is walk away. If you leave them alone, high chance they will leave you alone.
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CLetting go feels impossible, eh? It would feel great when the family would torture u after marriage, they will drag u, ur family into false accusations.
Eventually ull be depressed and ull curse urself, ” Y i did this? ”
Reason would be ” u could not think from your brain, and used a different organ to do the thinking “ -
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COp if you feel betrayed by her and now just simply show the chats with her father atleast to make things even and they should not bother in future with fake allegations
If you wanted to forgive her and go on with life the make sure to prepare for such betrays and mores importantly you need to be nice with her family after all the nonsense you went through
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LYour pain and confusion are valid. Being falsely accused and disrespected like that, especially by someone’s family, leaves a deep scar. Love shouldn’t come with threats or fear. It’s okay to want peace over chaos, even if it means walking away from someone you care about. Whatever you choose, make sure it protects your dignity and mental well-being first.
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CThe girl had the guts to open up to her mother about you, In a conservative Indian family. Do you appreciate how difficult that is?
Depends a lot on the strength of your feelings for each other. Do you want to spend the rest of your life with her?
The two of you will have to involve your families, if you need time, before you get married. Otherwise just get married, now.
If the commitment is not strong enough, then cut it right now and walk away.
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SLook man, if Indian parents could understand love, they wouldn’t do things like this.
But at the end of the day, this is not such a big problem. What her father said was because he probably hates you. If you love her and she loves you, you will find a way. She will have to control her family.
My Sindhi friend got married to his South Indian girlfriend and he was kicked out the first time he talked to her parents. They are married now and her parents are very nice to him. Shit happens.
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MIf someone deceives you once, it’s their fault, but if they deceive you a second time, it’s your fault for not learning from the first experience. Think wisely.
I can give you countless examples of betrayal, every single chance they get, regardless of gender.
When someone shows you who they are, see it!!
I hate to tell you not to trust, but that’s the reality. Be glad this didn’t happen after marriage.
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EMany People here have also proposed to continue the love story.
My questions.
1. Let’s say a conservative father when knows her daughter might have intimacy with guy and in anger immediately threatens to demand 5 lac ? shouldn’t he be furious why the money came to his mind ?
He might be in Fomo probably dreaming to get her daughter married to rich guy & yes divorce court – lots of free money.
2. Until relationship was nice she was okay, the time he asked for time, she told her momma
What if her Momma and Daddy ask her now or after Marriage to file DV, Dowry cases on him and his family?
Can he risk his entrie family and his life in the name of love which ejaculated so prematurely ?
Young guys please imagine a country where women can file multiple rape cases, guys are killed and than get away,
No one thinks that they will end up in divorce or false rape case.
But this is early red sign
He has.good chance to come out of this situation even if she files any case.
if he decided to marry he will loose everything and hope for the best
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NWhy are people doing the same mistakes over and over again especially when there is so much awareness around right now regarding the laws in India in this regard.
OP, I’m sorry you’re going through this, but until things change please educate yourself on the current issues in India. There is almost 0 upside to you if you get embroiled in a situation like this.
The best thing for you to do is talk to the girl and calm this situation down and then pack your bags and run.
And in the future be careful. Not saying you shouldn’t date or be in a relationship but do take the necessary precautions. Why do you want to gamble with your life?
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CI always say consult a lawyer bfor breaking up bcos now it results in rpe charges .. my frnd was in a similar situation and a good lawyer gave him pointers like gv detailed reasons for breaking up via text like “ I was very hurt so and so happened” these helped him quash the FIR in kolkata High court
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U“She promised no one will talk to me like that again”
She speaks as if she has a say in how things will pan out. And yet had to message you from a burner account. Her mind is writing cheques that her reality can’t cash.
There’s no point in her apologising to you. Unless her dad calls and apologises personally, there’s no future here. You should bolt.
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SFor the love of god man protect yourself and your family! She literally sat there silent while her family was disrespectful to you. Honestly beyond disrespect, they were threatening you! Do you realize how lucky you got. Before they get anymore ideas I would block her and lawyer up! A good partner sticks by her man especially if he’s innocent. Cut your losses now. A break up now is less messier than a divorce later.
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LAgrawal/ Marwadi asumming you come from a business family getting deeper into this will only harm you personally and your family’s future business prospects and your future relationships. And maybe let’s assume that she’s also from a well off family then why did her father ask for 5l ? Legit questions think about them and also consult atleast 3/4 lawyers this might be costly but worth it just in case .
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SGirl opens up to her conservative parents and instead of standing by her side, you are worried about some insults her parents threw at you? You haven’t even told your parents yet.
Looks like you were looking for an opportunity to let her go and thankfully got one.
Let her go dude. She needs someone strong to stand by her.
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B
1. **Her Family’s Treatment of You**:
– First of all, **her family treats you like crap**. Her dad accused you of **stealing ₹5 lakh** and threatened to ruin your life. That’s not just a little misunderstanding — that’s full-on character assassination. The man’s got no respect for you, and frankly, it’s a **toxic environment** for anyone.
– You didn’t even know she was talking to her family about you, and then out of nowhere, her father comes at you like you’re a criminal. That’s a **huge red flag**. You’re not just being accused of something you didn’t do, but the whole situation was handled poorly, with no regard for your dignity.2. **Her Reaction**:
– **She stayed silent** while all this was happening. Let’s be honest here, that’s a **deal-breaker**. She let her family tear you down without even standing up for you. You felt like she **abandoned** you in your most vulnerable moment. How the hell are you supposed to trust someone who does that to you, especially when things get tough?
– Now she wants a “second chance” and says her family will eventually accept you. Well, **that’s convenient**, right? She wants to play the “it’ll get better, just wait” card. But **does she even understand the damage** her family has done to you, or is she just hoping you’ll forgive and forget? **You’re not a damn punching bag**. You’ve already been through enough of this emotional rollercoaster, and now she’s asking you to get back on it.3. **The Trust Factor**:
– **Trust is broken**. That’s the biggest issue here. She might love you, and you might love her, but **you can’t build a relationship on shaky trust**. You’re expected to trust her family and believe they’ll come around, but **what about your dignity?** What about your peace of mind?
– Do you honestly think you’ll be able to move forward without constantly **feeling like her family could turn on you at any moment**? **Every little thing** that happens will make you question whether her family will come after you again. This is a massive burden to carry.4. **What Would I Do in Your Place?**
– **Cut your losses, bro**. This isn’t about giving up on love, it’s about **protecting yourself**. You deserve someone who’s **gonna back you up**, not someone who’ll stay silent while their family drags your name through the mud. You’ve been **mentally drained** and **betrayed**, and you need time to heal.
– Love is not about playing games and hoping things magically get better. It’s about being **respected**, **valued**, and **trusted**. She’s failed you on all those counts by letting her family treat you like dirt. And if she’s asking you to stand by her, **make sure she stands by you** first. **Right now, she’s only looking for support for herself** — not taking responsibility for what’s happened.
– **Move on**. It’s gonna hurt, but trust me, it’ll hurt a lot less than spending years dealing with this kind of **bullshit** from her family. You’re not obligated to stick around while her family keeps abusing you. You’ve got **a life to live**, and it’s not worth it to **be caught up in this drama**.– **Walk away**. **Don’t look back**. The love you had is not worth the future pain you’ll endure dealing with her family and her lack of support.
– Focus on **yourself**. Get your peace back and **let go of the toxicity**. Don’t let her or anyone else manipulate you into thinking you have to take their crap just because you care about her.
– You’re young, and this is a lesson in **self-worth**. **You deserve better**. You don’t need to fight for someone who won’t fight for you.It’s harsh, but **this is the reality**. **Let it go, man**. You’ll find someone who **actually has your back**.
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SWhy did the father accuse you of stealing 5 lakhs? It’s weird. Anyways, ask her if her family is fine with it right now, and talk with the father again and pay heed to his tone. I have heard of this happen with a muh boli sisters of mine where her family threatened her with suicide and what not but they calmed down somewhat later so you should try this once.
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RWtf man. Some things you never do if you love someone, and one of them is standing quietly in the corner while someone threatens them. You can call it trauma, shock, whatever, it doesn’t matter. You’ll do something. And if you don’t, well, you value something more than this ‘love’ you’ve. Here, her actions led to a threat to you and your parents. If you’ve got not that much love for yourself, think about your parents, who I’m guessing love you enough to stand in your corner against the world, just like she should’ve been.
I would suggest cut your ties and say goodbye.
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