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VI(31F) have no parents and siblings. Being an only child, I inherited a house after my mother passed away when I was 19. Still, I rent the house and use the money for my expenses. I am planning to go to work when our daughter(2.5 years) goes to preschool. My only problem is my husband doesn’t like the role of being a parent and he actively avoids it. We only have one child, yet he doesn’t put in the weight in family except pay bills(barely) and give money for vegetables. If I ask him to look after her for 15 minutes while I go to bathroom or to a nearby store, he would lose his cool. If he can’t look after our child even for 15 minutes, I highly doubt he will be there for her if God forbid anything happens to me. I don’t want him to inherit my house, I want it to go to my daughter if something happens to me. My husband would remarry within a month and my MIL would advice him to look for orphanages for our child. I am not even kidding. I know these people. How do I make sure to safeguard my minor child while I am still alive? . What are my options?
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SYou need a will. Keep a trusted person as its executant. And if you can afford it, a lawyer on retainer.
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SYour situation is a bit complex, if you gift it to your daughter,your husband can always get court permission to sell it for her care in case you are not there. Same goes for WILL. I believe you should talk to a lawyer who is an expert in WILL and Trust creation. That should do the job.
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P1. get a divorce lawyer. document proof of neglect, if possible, him cheating. get alimony and child support. if he won’t look after his own child, or help with household management, then you don’t need him as a husband. you’ll actually save up more with him gone. and with that money you can get a creche.
2. will is good, but if you die before your daughter reached 18, she might not end up getting it. Id recommend doing what rich people do. form a private trust. put your house and every belonging in that trust and keep adding money to it every year. you be the trustee, and make your daughter the beneficiary. you can also stipulate that upon your death, your daughter becomes the trustee, but won’t be able to withdraw money or close it before they turn 25 or so. and you can create a monthly deposit for the beneficiary, something that she can access. she will have trouble accessing that without a guardian, and the trust can act as one till she turns 18. it would require a lot of work and a good lawyer. but this is the best way to protect your property and your daughter.
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SIf you know the answer to your future you will never make a mistake in life. Either you are too stupid or you are angry at her for not marrying someone good enough.
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POP’s problems with her husband are not new problems, trust me. I am 100% positive that he was self-centered while they were dating. That type of person ( male or female ) does not make for a wonderful partner for the average person. From her post, he can barely cover the bills. Does zero for his family. And only cares about himself. My question was a legitimate question. Why would anyone think it would get better after marriage?
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AUhm…why are you still with this man ? Divorce him, please and find yourself a decent man (there are plenty out there).
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VI know this isn’t the right forum, as you are looking for legal advice, but nevertheless, I suggest that you seek family therapy.
It maybe that your husband never had a role model parent, hence he lacks parenting skills.
Also, it may make sense to divorce him as it appears to be an unhappy marriage, and seek love elsewhere.
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CNo, but this is the standard response i see whenever somebody posts such things .Even the remote hint of a bad behavior and people are advising to divorce. If the husband is giving so less now, imagine after divorce. Marriages are not perfect from the get go, they need time and effort. She stated so obviously that she does not have a support system, do you want her to be a single mother to a young child on top of it? Avoidant fathers are not a new thing, if he is okay being married and just does not care for the child, would you still suggest a divorce? Hence my take that it was a brainless opinion that does not take into account personal circumstances and reality.
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SIt always feels like these people are the reason for the rising high divorce rate in India; a small thing happens, and the first reaction is to break the relationship; it’s not easy, plus human emotions are complex, so you will make the child fatherless, oh god these people don’t think twice before saying Divorce.
I agree with you, OP; these people don’t even talk about how to sort things up and everything; I will get down, but this subreddit is filled with negative and biased empaths rather than positive empaths and intellectuals.
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SHer husband can’t even take care of his own child for just 15 minutes..and neither does he provides..then what is even the need of such a husband!!!!!
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SWe are thinking this from one side and I don’t think I said that she should save her husband but the amount of solutions everyone is giving here is not as easy as you think, she should just get a will for his child and then do something, there are lots of factors you guys didn’t count and said divorce.
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VExactly, I came here for legal advice to safeguard my daughter, not marriage counseling. He may be a shitty father and husband, but he provides. He could have left but he didn’t. And I don’t want to give up the one support system I have.
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MIf he could have left but he didn’t then discuss these things about your daughter with him and then see his reaction seeing how he responds to a serious conversation about your daughter’s future or your needs? It might give you clarity on where he stands without escalating things right away. What do you think? And then please comeback here and update this thread what was his reaction.
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VSaying something is not equal to action. I have never seen, except for one single father, in my lifetime, raising kids on his own. That too, he has a mother who took care of his three children and house chores. Most of the single fathers that I see are remarried within a span of months. This is nothing new, and I don’t want to have a delusion in my mind that my husband will stay single and be a devoted, righteous parent if something happens to me. I highly doubt most men will. Even if he wants, my MIL won’t let him. All I can do is search for how to safeguard my child while I am alive. Again, I am not here for marriage counselling, only legal. When properties are involved, I can only think about what’s best for my child.
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IWhy are you married to this man? Anyways not the point here, i suggest you look for a lawyer in your area who can help you put together a will. With advice of the lawyer maybe create a trust and put your assets into that,in case something happens to you before your child turns 18 the control of the trust would go to your parents/person of your trust.
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