How do I respond to my husband’s repeated harassment?

Community Forums Legal Advice India How do I respond to my husband’s repeated harassment?

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    • #66989 Reply
      User_5a8c2dc0
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        User_5a8c2dc0
        PARTICIPANT
        January 25, 2025 at 6:16 am
        I got married in 2021. They demanded the marriage be very grand which costed us around 20 lakhs apart from buying jewels and car price in a tier 3 city. They bore no share on the wedding and engagement costs. I was working back then and he used to have full access to my debit card and withdraw my full salary. There were 10 people in total in that household and I had to cook, clean and wash all day long while managing a full time IT job. I was forced to get pregnant as his cousins who were married around the same time as us got pregnant. Even during pregnancy, he didn’t spend a single penny for me as his mom said first pregnancy course should be taken care of by girl’s family. Even for simple doctor consultation, be would call my mom and ask her to transfer money in Google pay and later show it to his family as a proof that he didn’t spend any money for me. Both his sisters’ family shifted to our home right after our marriage and both families took up both bedrooms. I didn’t even have a room or sofa to rest during pregnancy. In addition to all these, he demanded all my jewels be given to him and kept in bank locker in his mother’s name right after the marriage. This problem was going on for a while and when I refused once while we were travelling, he tried to hit me and drove in a very rash manner in a very bumpy road for a long distance which caused bleeding for me(I was 5 months pregnant during this incident). Then I had to undergo a surgery to prevent abortion and was put under complete bed rest till the day of delivery. Even during those times, he didn’t visit me and demanded more gold for Diwali and Pongal as well and fought with me if his demands weren’t met. Post delivery, my son was put in NICU for jaundice where my husband fought with me for the reason that my family didn’t take care of his mother properly while I was in labour room. Then he left after I sobbed uncontrollably and didn’t visit us for 3 years. We called him to visit when my son had to undergo a kidney surgery when he was just 1 year old. He didn’t visit even then. Now, after losing all hope, i consulted a lawyer for amicable mutual divorce. As soon as my lawyer contacted his lawyer, he filed a case against me in All women police station for restitution of conjugal rights. How should I respond!?

      • #67004 Reply
        User_b4f8eabe
        Participant
          U
          User_b4f8eabe
          PARTICIPANT
          January 25, 2025 at 6:28 am
          NAL , I have no advice for you , but just one question why were you waiting for this long to file a divorce ? He treated you in a worst way possible

          • #67012 Reply
            User_5a8c2dc0
            Participant
              U
              User_5a8c2dc0
              OP
              January 25, 2025 at 6:31 am
              I was keeping in mind my kid’s future and I thought he would realise his mistakes and be back in a while. Also I was studying for government jobs since I lost my job after the bed rest. So I was not physically and mentally ready for a legal battle.

              • #67015 Reply
                User_b4f8eabe
                Participant
                  U
                  User_b4f8eabe
                  PARTICIPANT
                  January 25, 2025 at 6:33 am
                  Now , take care of your child and good luck to you πŸ‘πŸ‘, be strong

            • #67003 Reply
              User_28cc5018
              Participant
                U
                User_28cc5018
                PARTICIPANT
                January 25, 2025 at 6:52 am
                I wish that you get a hefty alimony and monthly maintenance from this son of a bitch.

              • #67002 Reply
                User_83638b4e
                Participant
                  U
                  User_83638b4e
                  PARTICIPANT
                  January 25, 2025 at 7:36 am
                  Take it with a pinch of salt. Your parents are idiots and so are you. If that was the case at the time of engagement, you and your parents should have called it off.

                  • #67011 Reply
                    User_5a8c2dc0
                    Participant
                      U
                      User_5a8c2dc0
                      OP
                      January 25, 2025 at 7:38 am
                      My engagement was on the day before my wedding. Unless you know the complete truth or empathy for the other person, it better to refrain from posting hurtful things.

                      • #67014 Reply
                        User_50dc9f60
                        Participant
                          U
                          User_50dc9f60
                          PARTICIPANT
                          January 25, 2025 at 8:16 am
                          No. I’m sorry. No one stole the money out of your bank account and spent it. Everything was done consentually. You’re experiencing buyers regret. You found out the Rolex watch you bought was fake. You should have been careful. Life teaches people harsh lessons. Throw the fake away atleast now and move on with your life. Divorce and find some way to keep your children educated and take care of them. If you need alimony file for that as well through a second request.

                          Let’s just keep the self victimization and trauma dumping out of it. Every woman immediately becomes a victim if their husband turns out to be a dud.

                          • #67019 Reply
                            User_5a8c2dc0
                            Participant
                              U
                              User_5a8c2dc0
                              OP
                              January 25, 2025 at 8:17 am
                              Yup. Paying for my naive nature now.

                            • #67018 Reply
                              Expertsachin5153
                              Participant
                                E
                                Expertsachin5153
                                PARTICIPANT
                                January 25, 2025 at 10:01 am
                                Dude. Get real.

                              • #67017 Reply
                                Nishahawk766
                                Participant
                                  N
                                  Nishahawk766
                                  PARTICIPANT
                                  January 25, 2025 at 10:43 am
                                  I’m not sure how are you down voted but truth is bitter, I’m not sure why the lady in question tolerated all the crap but it is not her mistake I honestly believe it, it is the family and the society who asks women to adjust and family is the biggest red flag here why did they let their daughter be with a man who wasn’t paying for anything!??? They were enabling this situation.

                                  I’m just glad that the lady is safe and restarting her life, more power to OP

                          • #67001 Reply
                            User_44b53006
                            Participant
                              U
                              User_44b53006
                              PARTICIPANT
                              January 25, 2025 at 7:47 am
                              Laywer here.

                              First things first, get all the documents required. It will obviously not be a mutual divorce. Sec9 or the restitution case is just a time pass, bears no fruit. No court can order you to reside with your husband if its not safe for you and child.

                              You can file a dowry case as you are well within the limitation period. You can also put a 125 case for demanding maintenance. You can also file for a contested divorce s.13 citing mental and physical cruelty in your jurisdiction.

                              Do not back down. The law will favour you. Hire a sharp advocate. Good luck

                              • #67010 Reply
                                User_5a8c2dc0
                                Participant
                                  U
                                  User_5a8c2dc0
                                  OP
                                  January 25, 2025 at 7:54 am
                                  Thank you for your valuable advice.

                                  • #67013 Reply
                                    User_9ad65e6a
                                    Participant
                                      U
                                      User_9ad65e6a
                                      PARTICIPANT
                                      January 25, 2025 at 9:24 am
                                      Internet is full of people who believe that every woman is misusing the law to get what they want. Your case is a good example of why the laws were made in the first place. You can forgive anything, but endangering you and your kids life is something you shouldn’t be taken lightly and it is painting a picture of how he will be as a father. Do you really want to fix it?

                                      • #67016 Reply
                                        User_5a8c2dc0
                                        Participant
                                          U
                                          User_5a8c2dc0
                                          OP
                                          January 25, 2025 at 9:25 am
                                          Not anymore. He’s unfit in every aspect TBH.

                                          • #67020 Reply
                                            Shekharhero340
                                            Participant
                                              S
                                              Shekharhero340
                                              PARTICIPANT
                                              January 25, 2025 at 11:19 am
                                              Go πŸ’ͺ

                                    • #67000 Reply
                                      User_59915063
                                      Participant
                                        U
                                        User_59915063
                                        PARTICIPANT
                                        January 25, 2025 at 8:00 am
                                        NAL. I am sure you will have bank records of every expense you did for him and the dowry. While fake cases are being made left and right, yours is a strong case, fight it out and get your money back and for the child. Sorry you had to go through this.

                                        • #67009 Reply
                                          User_5a8c2dc0
                                          Participant
                                            U
                                            User_5a8c2dc0
                                            OP
                                            January 25, 2025 at 8:02 am
                                            He was hellbent on getting everything on cash. All these things were beyond my understanding at that time. We have the records for the wedding expenses though. Thanks for the reply.

                                        • #66999 Reply
                                          Cleverpanda4290
                                          Participant
                                            C
                                            Cleverpanda4290
                                            PARTICIPANT
                                            January 25, 2025 at 8:40 am
                                            Please know your value!

                                            If you could even do half what is typed, I would worship you like a Queen.

                                            This filth of a human has only been using you as a ATM disposal maid.

                                            Please leave and move out of your city and start over.

                                            There are good men in this country who want nothing but supportive partners such as yourself.

                                            Good luck to you!

                                          • #66998 Reply
                                            Samirguru216
                                            Participant
                                              S
                                              Samirguru216
                                              PARTICIPANT
                                              January 25, 2025 at 9:00 am
                                              It’s sad to read such cases. On one hand, there is a long line of false 498a cases, and on the other, genuine ones like yours, for which this provision was originally made, do not take recourse.

                                              This is clearly a case of 498a and domestic violence. While I am totally against false cases, if what you are saying is true, hire a good advocate and file all the cases meant to help women like you, such as 498a and domestic violence. All the best!

                                              • #67008 Reply
                                                User_5a8c2dc0
                                                Participant
                                                  U
                                                  User_5a8c2dc0
                                                  OP
                                                  January 25, 2025 at 9:01 am
                                                  Thank you for your reply!

                                              • #66997 Reply
                                                Bhumikahawk733
                                                Participant
                                                  B
                                                  Bhumikahawk733
                                                  PARTICIPANT
                                                  January 25, 2025 at 9:42 am
                                                  I know internet makes us feel every woman is out there misusing the law but the abuse from the other side towards women is in much larger percentage

                                                  I dont know the law side
                                                  But GET OUT OF THAT MARRIAGE
                                                  But DONT let that guy get out of his fatherly duties

                                                  Men like these would leave the kid for their ex wife to raise and get married to another girl and forget bout their duties

                                                  Please see all aspects
                                                  Anticipate a β€œinsanity case” incoming

                                                  • #67007 Reply
                                                    User_5a8c2dc0
                                                    Participant
                                                      U
                                                      User_5a8c2dc0
                                                      OP
                                                      January 25, 2025 at 9:47 am
                                                      Thank you for the heads up

                                                  • #66996 Reply
                                                    Expertsachin5153
                                                    Participant
                                                      E
                                                      Expertsachin5153
                                                      PARTICIPANT
                                                      January 25, 2025 at 10:01 am
                                                      Perfect use case for 498a.

                                                    • #66995 Reply
                                                      User_898b880d
                                                      Participant
                                                        U
                                                        User_898b880d
                                                        PARTICIPANT
                                                        January 25, 2025 at 10:07 am
                                                        File case, get every single penny you spent. Take alimony, child support and get them behind bars.

                                                      • #66994 Reply
                                                        User_77afd2e4
                                                        Participant
                                                          U
                                                          User_77afd2e4
                                                          PARTICIPANT
                                                          January 25, 2025 at 12:31 pm
                                                          To everyone who has been saying women misuse the law. Alimony n Dowry harassment laws were designed for situation like this. OP went through all the abuse yet she didn’t file.a case yet. Thats the situation in india for maximum women they silently endure. OP please file a domestic.violence case. Please dont spare him. Please dont let.ur son.grow up thinking what his father doing is okay.

                                                        • #66993 Reply
                                                          User_88dc9d31
                                                          Participant
                                                            U
                                                            User_88dc9d31
                                                            PARTICIPANT
                                                            January 25, 2025 at 12:32 pm
                                                            498A. That crook will soon understand what it takes to survive in hell.

                                                          • #66992 Reply
                                                            User_e3b12db5
                                                            Participant
                                                              U
                                                              User_e3b12db5
                                                              PARTICIPANT
                                                              January 25, 2025 at 12:39 pm
                                                              What you need to do is to test the full extent of the bias of Indian laws in your favour.

                                                            • #66991 Reply
                                                              Anyadude262
                                                              Participant
                                                                A
                                                                Anyadude262
                                                                PARTICIPANT
                                                                January 25, 2025 at 4:00 pm
                                                                #File 489a on his whole family and send them to jail. Drain every single penny from him and make sure to demand heavy alimony and monthly maintainance. Do not back down and do not go for divorce amicably. More power to you!

                                                                • #67006 Reply
                                                                  User_5a8c2dc0
                                                                  Participant
                                                                    U
                                                                    User_5a8c2dc0
                                                                    OP
                                                                    January 25, 2025 at 4:05 pm
                                                                    Thanks for the reply and your time!

                                                                • #66990 Reply
                                                                  User_9c30ec21
                                                                  Participant
                                                                    U
                                                                    User_9c30ec21
                                                                    PARTICIPANT
                                                                    January 25, 2025 at 7:39 pm
                                                                    NAL

                                                                    Other comments has given you a legal advice & you should follow it. I want to give you a generic advice. Be pessimistic in relationship. He was showing all the red flags all the time, you were so optimistic. Don’t do that again in next relationship. Ok?

                                                                    Making you pregnant was a trap to keep you emotionallly entangled as servant in their home.

                                                                    You deserve better even if you think you don’t, you deserve better. Keep high standards and don’t follow parents blindly. Always check inlaws with your own intelligent.

                                                                    All the best for your legal bettle ahead. Maa chod do us bhadwe ki.

                                                                    • #67005 Reply
                                                                      User_5a8c2dc0
                                                                      Participant
                                                                        U
                                                                        User_5a8c2dc0
                                                                        OP
                                                                        January 25, 2025 at 10:44 pm
                                                                        Thank you for the reply!

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