- This topic has 31 replies, 20 voices, and was last updated 1 year, 5 months ago by
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UI got married in 2021. They demanded the marriage be very grand which costed us around 20 lakhs apart from buying jewels and car price in a tier 3 city. They bore no share on the wedding and engagement costs. I was working back then and he used to have full access to my debit card and withdraw my full salary. There were 10 people in total in that household and I had to cook, clean and wash all day long while managing a full time IT job. I was forced to get pregnant as his cousins who were married around the same time as us got pregnant. Even during pregnancy, he didn’t spend a single penny for me as his mom said first pregnancy course should be taken care of by girl’s family. Even for simple doctor consultation, be would call my mom and ask her to transfer money in Google pay and later show it to his family as a proof that he didn’t spend any money for me. Both his sisters’ family shifted to our home right after our marriage and both families took up both bedrooms. I didn’t even have a room or sofa to rest during pregnancy. In addition to all these, he demanded all my jewels be given to him and kept in bank locker in his mother’s name right after the marriage. This problem was going on for a while and when I refused once while we were travelling, he tried to hit me and drove in a very rash manner in a very bumpy road for a long distance which caused bleeding for me(I was 5 months pregnant during this incident). Then I had to undergo a surgery to prevent abortion and was put under complete bed rest till the day of delivery. Even during those times, he didn’t visit me and demanded more gold for Diwali and Pongal as well and fought with me if his demands weren’t met. Post delivery, my son was put in NICU for jaundice where my husband fought with me for the reason that my family didn’t take care of his mother properly while I was in labour room. Then he left after I sobbed uncontrollably and didn’t visit us for 3 years. We called him to visit when my son had to undergo a kidney surgery when he was just 1 year old. He didn’t visit even then. Now, after losing all hope, i consulted a lawyer for amicable mutual divorce. As soon as my lawyer contacted his lawyer, he filed a case against me in All women police station for restitution of conjugal rights. How should I respond!?
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UNAL , I have no advice for you , but just one question why were you waiting for this long to file a divorce ? He treated you in a worst way possible
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UI was keeping in mind my kid’s future and I thought he would realise his mistakes and be back in a while. Also I was studying for government jobs since I lost my job after the bed rest. So I was not physically and mentally ready for a legal battle.
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UTake it with a pinch of salt. Your parents are idiots and so are you. If that was the case at the time of engagement, you and your parents should have called it off.
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UMy engagement was on the day before my wedding. Unless you know the complete truth or empathy for the other person, it better to refrain from posting hurtful things.
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UNo. I’m sorry. No one stole the money out of your bank account and spent it. Everything was done consentually. You’re experiencing buyers regret. You found out the Rolex watch you bought was fake. You should have been careful. Life teaches people harsh lessons. Throw the fake away atleast now and move on with your life. Divorce and find some way to keep your children educated and take care of them. If you need alimony file for that as well through a second request.
Let’s just keep the self victimization and trauma dumping out of it. Every woman immediately becomes a victim if their husband turns out to be a dud.
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NI’m not sure how are you down voted but truth is bitter, I’m not sure why the lady in question tolerated all the crap but it is not her mistake I honestly believe it, it is the family and the society who asks women to adjust and family is the biggest red flag here why did they let their daughter be with a man who wasn’t paying for anything!??? They were enabling this situation.
I’m just glad that the lady is safe and restarting her life, more power to OP
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ULaywer here.
First things first, get all the documents required. It will obviously not be a mutual divorce. Sec9 or the restitution case is just a time pass, bears no fruit. No court can order you to reside with your husband if its not safe for you and child.
You can file a dowry case as you are well within the limitation period. You can also put a 125 case for demanding maintenance. You can also file for a contested divorce s.13 citing mental and physical cruelty in your jurisdiction.
Do not back down. The law will favour you. Hire a sharp advocate. Good luck
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UInternet is full of people who believe that every woman is misusing the law to get what they want. Your case is a good example of why the laws were made in the first place. You can forgive anything, but endangering you and your kids life is something you shouldn’t be taken lightly and it is painting a picture of how he will be as a father. Do you really want to fix it?
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UNAL. I am sure you will have bank records of every expense you did for him and the dowry. While fake cases are being made left and right, yours is a strong case, fight it out and get your money back and for the child. Sorry you had to go through this.
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CPlease know your value!
If you could even do half what is typed, I would worship you like a Queen.
This filth of a human has only been using you as a ATM disposal maid.
Please leave and move out of your city and start over.
There are good men in this country who want nothing but supportive partners such as yourself.
Good luck to you!
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SIt’s sad to read such cases. On one hand, there is a long line of false 498a cases, and on the other, genuine ones like yours, for which this provision was originally made, do not take recourse.
This is clearly a case of 498a and domestic violence. While I am totally against false cases, if what you are saying is true, hire a good advocate and file all the cases meant to help women like you, such as 498a and domestic violence. All the best!
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BI know internet makes us feel every woman is out there misusing the law but the abuse from the other side towards women is in much larger percentage
I dont know the law side
But GET OUT OF THAT MARRIAGE
But DONT let that guy get out of his fatherly dutiesMen like these would leave the kid for their ex wife to raise and get married to another girl and forget bout their duties
Please see all aspects
Anticipate a “insanity case” incoming -
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UTo everyone who has been saying women misuse the law. Alimony n Dowry harassment laws were designed for situation like this. OP went through all the abuse yet she didn’t file.a case yet. Thats the situation in india for maximum women they silently endure. OP please file a domestic.violence case. Please dont spare him. Please dont let.ur son.grow up thinking what his father doing is okay.
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A#File 489a on his whole family and send them to jail. Drain every single penny from him and make sure to demand heavy alimony and monthly maintainance. Do not back down and do not go for divorce amicably. More power to you!
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UNAL
Other comments has given you a legal advice & you should follow it. I want to give you a generic advice. Be pessimistic in relationship. He was showing all the red flags all the time, you were so optimistic. Don’t do that again in next relationship. Ok?
Making you pregnant was a trap to keep you emotionallly entangled as servant in their home.
You deserve better even if you think you don’t, you deserve better. Keep high standards and don’t follow parents blindly. Always check inlaws with your own intelligent.
All the best for your legal bettle ahead. Maa chod do us bhadwe ki.
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