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SThis is on behalf of a friend (F40) who’s been married for 10 years with 2 kids. She’s not on Reddit, hence I’m posting on her behalf. (We were ex colleagues and that’s how I know her.)
She’s a Bengali Hindu and had a love marriage with a North Indian man. The man’s parents (narcissist mother) tortured her mentally and emotionally for the last 8 years so much so, that she went into depression and left her job. She hasn’t worked since and husband has been the sole bread earner. They have 2 kids – 7 and 1.
The husband as a child, had also been tormented by his mother and developed C-PTSD as a result. As a child, he tried committing suicide thrice to get rid of his mother’s torture. However, he lacked a lot as a partner, maybe because he was never brought up with love – he lives to live life as a single (no responsibility of home, kids etc other than monetarily), has cheated once, had earlier mentally and verbally agonized my friend a lot etc etc.)
So the MIL tortured this lady (my friend) to an extent that a happy, simple, working girl was reduced to a depressed and anxious (depression and anxiety diagnosed by a practicing psychologist) lump. The torture was emotional, verbal, and mental, never physical so she might not have any proof of the torture, per se.
The husband had separated from his parents 2.5 years back with complete no contact inspite of living in the same city because of his mother’s nature and because it had started to affect his kids as well. He has recently been convinced to reconcile with his parents by his parental relatives and he has since the last 1 month or so – they now talk, meet, have dinners together etc.
My friend however has sensed a recent change in behaviour of her husband already and fears manipulation by the in laws. As of now, the in laws behave cordially with her as does she.
If she chooses to divorce this person, what can she expect?
If anyone is a lawyer/divorced/separated, please help the lady with the entire process including child custody, alimony, child support etc as she has no clue how things work and what to expect.
Thank you. -
B#notalawyer. Learning how to break up your information into paragraphs instead of spitting out a word salad would help others in reading, understanding and giving relevant answers.
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DHi. I’m a Delhi based lawyer. The entire process of divorce, and what all comes with that, in terms of proceedings and otherwise is something to be discussed at length. Would be glad to help/assist in this regard. To begin with, is she contemplating mutual divorce or a contested one?
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DOkay. It’ll be a 6 months process, or shorter, if the terms agreed upon are complied with. Alimony is what they mutually agree upon, give and take. Child support again, as agreed mutually. So in mutual, no part of it is contested. You can decide to give all you have or take nothing. But unless they’re on the same page, they cannot file a mutual divorce. However, the legal position entitles the wife to a certain percentage of maintenance, depending on certain factors, in addition to child support.
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DNot a lawyer. But here is my opinion.
Your friend is going through a tough time, and before jumping into any legal step, it’s very important she has an honest conversation with her husband first of her problems and try reaching a solution. Divorce in India is a long, mentally and financially draining process. Even people who “win” in court rarely feel happy because of how exhausting it is. So if there’s even a small chance of resolution through conversation, it’s worth exploring that first.
If things still don’t work out, here’s what she needs to know:
Things to do-
– Start noting down events and behaviour changes (diary, screenshots, therapy reports).
– Talk to a lawyer to understand her rights.
– Think about financial independence slowly (part-time or remote work).
– Keep her documents and jewelry safe.1. Types of Divorce
Mutual Consent: Fastest and smoothest. Both agree to end the marriage and settle custody, alimony etc. Takes about 6 months to a year.
Contested Divorce: One person files, the other contests. Based on cruelty, adultery, etc. Can take years.
2. Grounds for Divorce
She can file based on:
– Mental or emotional cruelty
– Adultery (husband cheated)
Even if there’s no physical proof, a psychologists report and personal records can help.3. Child Custody
She will likely get custody since the kids are young (7 and 1) and she’s their primary caregiver.
The father can get visitation rights or shared custody if agreed.
The court always puts the child’s best interest first.4. Alimony and Child Support
– She can ask for monthly or lump sum alimony since she hasn’t worked in years.
– The father is legally responsible for all child-related expenses.
– Courts look at the husband’s income, lifestyle, and family needs.5. Property
– She may not get a share of property in his name, but she can ask to live there under domestic violence laws.
– Jewelry and gifts from her side (stridhan) are hers. -
PThe procedure for contested divorce can be read from here [https://divorcebylaw.com/best-contested-divorce-lawyers-in-bangalore/](https://divorcebylaw.com/best-contested-divorce-lawyers-in-bangalore/)
If husband is willing to go for divorce, they can file mutual consent divorce [https://divorcebylaw.com/mutual-divorce-lawyer-in-bengaluru/](https://divorcebylaw.com/mutual-divorce-lawyer-in-bengaluru/)
For further clarification do feel free to contact us [https://g.co/kgs/oe43SWU](https://g.co/kgs/oe43SWU)
**Disclaimer:** In the absence of all the facts of the case, the comments given may not be the best solution for your case. One on one consultation with a legal counsel/ advocate is advised to get better guidance.
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