Husband asking for seperation

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    • #66248 Reply
      User_4627a57c
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        User_4627a57c
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        January 26, 2025 at 5:28 am
        We got married few months back, it was arranged marriage but we had courtship period of 4-5 months. Once we started staying together my husband drastically reduced his communication with me, his reason being does not want to emotionally connect with me as he sees stark differences in personality. He avoided physical contact and we have not consumated our marriage.

        Now he is saying he doesn’t want to continue this marriage & wants to separate. I moved to the city where he was working after marriage, I don’t have my family in this city. I took transfer from my job & again asking for transfer within few months would be questioned at my workplace. I tried talking with him to understand what’s the problem he is facing and suggested for counselling but he is not ready.

        My parents paid for the wedding functions & since he is the one asking to separate I would want him to pay the cost borne by my parents for marriage.
        What should be my course of action legally in this scenario, if I want to separate from him?

      • #66283 Reply
        Ravindrastar475
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          R
          Ravindrastar475
          PARTICIPANT
          January 26, 2025 at 8:15 pm
          Bhaiya counseling kro bat kro cheejo ko suljhane k koshish to kro km se km, 4 mahine me divorce chahiye. At least itne efforts to kro k km se km ye to na lge k what could have been? Aur ye jo yha gyan de rhe h na online, koi kam nhi ayega real life me. To jo bhi kro soch samajhkar tassali se kro. No law/ court can amend relationships. Vo to mil julke hi chalti h baki tum jano tumhara ram jane.

        • #66282 Reply
          User_7942fc3c
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            U
            User_7942fc3c
            PARTICIPANT
            January 26, 2025 at 9:39 pm
            Hire a private detective and see what he does or whom he meets. Gather evidence. Then file for divorce

          • #66281 Reply
            Kanaklion217
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              K
              Kanaklion217
              PARTICIPANT
              January 27, 2025 at 2:31 am
              You have no idea what his lawyer will be filling against you, so not asking for alimony is a wrong move.

            • #66280 Reply
              User_6c740118
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                U
                User_6c740118
                PARTICIPANT
                January 27, 2025 at 3:46 am
                After so long , i actually saw a woman asking about how to prevent separation in her marriage, it’s so nice to hear. Warna aaj kal toh bas yehi chalta rehta hai ki 4-5 month mein divorce phir husband se heavy settlement aur alimony leke lover ke sath ferrar. You seem like a nice lady, i hope your husband sees how lucky he is πŸ‘Œ

              • #66279 Reply
                User_78967800
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                  U
                  User_78967800
                  PARTICIPANT
                  January 27, 2025 at 4:23 am
                  Marriage that too arranged itself is a flawed concept in today’s world

                • #66278 Reply
                  User_36450967
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                    U
                    User_36450967
                    PARTICIPANT
                    January 27, 2025 at 5:23 am
                    you’ll need to talk to a lawyer. talk to your family. make your lawyer and family talk to him and his family. explain that u wont backdown without expenses or u ll drag it for maintenance. ask double of what u want, they ll haggle and settle for what u actually want. there is going to be a huge blame game. be prepared. u ll lose love for some family members, lose some friends and go thro some change mentally.
                    Check if annulment is possible in Indian law. it will dissolve the marriage. but before this, ensure to check with your lawyer and reach a settlement stage.
                    try to settle it out of court if possible. dont go down without a fight.
                    your husband probably has another woman or man lined up. see if you can go thro his phone, laptop and social media to find evidence. if he is gay, then high chances he will pay to settle it. if he isnt, he will likely fight.
                    also, keep a journal, note down everything that happens. personal diary is an evidence in court. have text and call recordings of him saying that he wont consummate the marriage. Indian law is against non consummation, so this will play in your favor.

                  • #66277 Reply
                    User_0cebd120
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                      U
                      User_0cebd120
                      PARTICIPANT
                      January 27, 2025 at 6:46 am
                      Sister he hella gay

                    • #66276 Reply
                      User_d1d65500
                      Participant
                        U
                        User_d1d65500
                        PARTICIPANT
                        January 27, 2025 at 10:10 am
                        1. There’s no provision in law wherein a spouse has to compensate the other for wedding expenses per se.

                        2. You are not entitled for maintenance as you seem to be employed.

                        3. Staying separated for a period of time does make sense as it will give both of you ample time and space to think about your lives.

                        4. Ask your spouse how they plan on compensating for all the effort you have been putting in, if they want a seperation/divorce. Get them to think and come up with solutions amicably

                        5. Divorce mutually without any claims or blame game. Be civi, open and rational and you can pull through this.

                        • #66287 Reply
                          Brightthinker9070
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                            B
                            Brightthinker9070
                            PARTICIPANT
                            January 27, 2025 at 11:01 am
                            Dude, he can agree to pay the expenses given they single handedly paid for it.

                            Also, salary differences can warrant alimony, especially if he is pursuing the divorce and it’s not mutual.

                            He can choose to pay what’s fair and convince her for mutual divorce.

                            • #66289 Reply
                              User_d1d65500
                              Participant
                                U
                                User_d1d65500
                                PARTICIPANT
                                January 29, 2025 at 7:10 am
                                Ofcourse he can! That’s what any decent person would offer. But that still doesn’t change the fact that there’s no provision in law to claim marriage expenses.

                                And yes, salary differences would warrant maintenance. That can be brought up while discussing the same in a mediation session

                          • #66275 Reply
                            User_3c529385
                            Participant
                              U
                              User_3c529385
                              PARTICIPANT
                              January 27, 2025 at 10:12 am
                              Exact same case with my friends sister, the Guy has some issue down there and was using all reasons to stay away from her.
                              Poor girl thought untill 6 months its her fault at the end got to know the issue. Although they are saying its treatable the Guy and his family refuse to believe anything is wrong with them .

                              They are getting divorced i think now.

                            • #66274 Reply
                              Quicktanay7254
                              Participant
                                Q
                                Quicktanay7254
                                PARTICIPANT
                                January 27, 2025 at 10:51 am
                                Seems like he was forced into this marriage unfortunately

                              • #66273 Reply
                                User_be17032e
                                Participant
                                  U
                                  User_be17032e
                                  PARTICIPANT
                                  January 27, 2025 at 10:54 am
                                  All these holier than thou people ffs advising on alimony. Marriage expenses and one time lump sum ( not big) is okay but what’s with getting a lifetime payment for something that didn’t last months

                                • #66272 Reply
                                  User_7b134129
                                  Participant
                                    U
                                    User_7b134129
                                    PARTICIPANT
                                    January 27, 2025 at 11:03 am
                                    As you want to separate from your husband the best course would be to file for a contested divorce and claim maintenance from him or you can also claim one time alimony. It is always better to seek legal advice from an advocate in such matters.
                                    It would be advisable not to create pressure upon him by dragging him or his family in any unnecessary proceedings because that will cost you your time and money.
                                    If your husband is living separately and you still want to give your marriage a one last try then you can file for a petition for restitution of conjugal rights in a Family Court.

                                  • #66271 Reply
                                    Calmdeepika2708
                                    Participant
                                      C
                                      Calmdeepika2708
                                      PARTICIPANT
                                      January 27, 2025 at 11:22 am
                                      Talk to a lawyer, send him a notice asking for the expenses and see what he responds. Avoid legal case in any scenario but yes warn him if he doesn’t give expenses he will have to face. But avoid filing case as it would waste years and years. Both of you sit and sort a closure.

                                    • #66270 Reply
                                      User_c41dadcf
                                      Participant
                                        U
                                        User_c41dadcf
                                        PARTICIPANT
                                        January 27, 2025 at 11:56 am
                                        Happened to me. Moved countries after marriage. He was sweet during courtship and then after marriage got emotionally closed. Would hang out a lot with this gay office friend. Would never had any meal with me coz he likes to eat in office with his friend. When I was visiting my parents, this gay friend would be always at our place ( otherwise he never came) or my ex would go on double date with this gay friend and other gay couple.

                                        When I opened up about how unhappy and lonely I am in marriage. He suggested we separate right away and didn’t agree for couple counselling to at-least try out.

                                        Now I have been separated for year and haven’t been more happier in my life. But looking back I now understand that I was used by him and his family to get him tag of β€œmarriage” which stops society gossip and marriage pressure of family. none of his family member even talked to me once. I guess they knew abt him and I was used as per their motive. His mother even kept pushing me to have baby asap coz I guess they wanted him to have a baby for himself before it all came crashing down. Thank god I stood my ground on not having baby till the marriage was stable.

                                        • #66286 Reply
                                          User_4627a57c
                                          Participant
                                            U
                                            User_4627a57c
                                            OP
                                            January 27, 2025 at 12:55 pm
                                            OMG, so sorry you had to go through this!
                                            Great to know that you are doing good in your life now.

                                            How did you find out that he is gay?

                                        • #66269 Reply
                                          User_5cb0808a
                                          Participant
                                            U
                                            User_5cb0808a
                                            PARTICIPANT
                                            January 27, 2025 at 2:23 pm
                                            How long are you married?

                                          • #66268 Reply
                                            User_94073ad7
                                            Participant
                                              U
                                              User_94073ad7
                                              PARTICIPANT
                                              January 27, 2025 at 3:48 pm
                                              Move on, and let him live

                                            • #66267 Reply
                                              User_1c3c1a95
                                              Participant
                                                U
                                                User_1c3c1a95
                                                PARTICIPANT
                                                January 27, 2025 at 5:58 pm
                                                Here alimony is totally justified

                                              • #66266 Reply
                                                User_98a30958
                                                Participant
                                                  U
                                                  User_98a30958
                                                  PARTICIPANT
                                                  January 27, 2025 at 7:13 pm
                                                  I think you must not file devorce just yet untill tried your best to understand his problem, Be it homosexuality, affair or whatever. Try to understand the reason before pulling the plug on your marriage. Ofcource, only in a reasonable time and effort.

                                                • #66265 Reply
                                                  User_87fda6e2
                                                  Participant
                                                    U
                                                    User_87fda6e2
                                                    PARTICIPANT
                                                    January 27, 2025 at 7:55 pm
                                                    Ask your husband if he wants family therapy? Maybe you guys could fix your issues. I dont think anyone can help you in reddit with such less information.

                                                  • #66264 Reply
                                                    Vimalowl309
                                                    Participant
                                                      V
                                                      Vimalowl309
                                                      PARTICIPANT
                                                      January 27, 2025 at 9:10 pm
                                                      Lawyer from delhi here!

                                                      To make your case stronger to negotiate, i will be needing more information.

                                                      The best recourse would be to file for annulment of marriage, as the marriage has not been consumated.

                                                      You can claim all the amount as damages in the relief.

                                                    • #66263 Reply
                                                      User_a3640811
                                                      Participant
                                                        U
                                                        User_a3640811
                                                        PARTICIPANT
                                                        January 28, 2025 at 7:26 am
                                                        Omg this is 1/10 scenarios where a guy is #%{#^{ . Do you really want to spend life with him . Your ask is reasonable . Get rid of him , don’t you guys even talk over phone before marriage … ??? Did he ever call you … Nowadays arrange marriage is a joke . Marriage itself a life sucker …

                                                      • #66262 Reply
                                                        User_10fe5325
                                                        Participant
                                                          U
                                                          User_10fe5325
                                                          PARTICIPANT
                                                          January 28, 2025 at 7:33 am
                                                          He is definitely gay

                                                        • #66261 Reply
                                                          User_e9a8a4bf
                                                          Participant
                                                            U
                                                            User_e9a8a4bf
                                                            PARTICIPANT
                                                            January 28, 2025 at 10:29 am
                                                            In this situation, you have the full right to claim 50% of his assets during divorce.

                                                          • #66260 Reply
                                                            User_52270226
                                                            Participant
                                                              U
                                                              User_52270226
                                                              PARTICIPANT
                                                              January 29, 2025 at 5:26 am
                                                              Ur husband is gay…..do check it once….

                                                            • #66259 Reply
                                                              User_4163b049
                                                              Participant
                                                                U
                                                                User_4163b049
                                                                PARTICIPANT
                                                                January 29, 2025 at 10:53 am
                                                                My husband is an advocate. If you want to seek legal assistance, we can help you.

                                                              • #66258 Reply
                                                                User_79e88f84
                                                                Participant
                                                                  U
                                                                  User_79e88f84
                                                                  PARTICIPANT
                                                                  January 29, 2025 at 3:05 pm
                                                                  Op ask for your marriage expenses back and go for marriage annulment. Break off cleanly and move on.
                                                                  It’s seriously not worth the drama and emotional turmoil through divorce.

                                                                  If your S/o decisively made such drastic changes he’s probably seeing someone else and married you through parents compulsion.

                                                                  Irrespective of what the reason was please prioritize your mental health and break off as quickly and smoothly as possible.

                                                                  • #66285 Reply
                                                                    User_4627a57c
                                                                    Participant
                                                                      U
                                                                      User_4627a57c
                                                                      OP
                                                                      January 29, 2025 at 4:40 pm
                                                                      Is an annulment easier than divorce process?

                                                                  • #66257 Reply
                                                                    Brightthinker9070
                                                                    Participant
                                                                      B
                                                                      Brightthinker9070
                                                                      PARTICIPANT
                                                                      January 29, 2025 at 3:15 pm
                                                                      The most important thing that needs to be acknowledged is that irrespective of whether he is gay or doesn’t want this relationship of another reason, he will try to spin the blame around on you. And you will be relentlessly targeted.

                                                                      Therefore, document everything. Messages. Record conversations. Explain the situation in full detail to people around you whom you trust. Make it known, basically.

                                                                    • #66256 Reply
                                                                      User_78fc2f56
                                                                      Participant
                                                                        U
                                                                        User_78fc2f56
                                                                        PARTICIPANT
                                                                        January 29, 2025 at 8:44 pm
                                                                        Your husband is Gay

                                                                      • #66255 Reply
                                                                        User_e4a8766c
                                                                        Participant
                                                                          U
                                                                          User_e4a8766c
                                                                          PARTICIPANT
                                                                          January 29, 2025 at 11:25 pm
                                                                          Try consummating your marriage !!!!!

                                                                        • #66254 Reply
                                                                          User_e4a8766c
                                                                          Participant
                                                                            U
                                                                            User_e4a8766c
                                                                            PARTICIPANT
                                                                            January 29, 2025 at 11:26 pm
                                                                            Sex karo chutiyooo rozzzzzzz πŸ’€ and see him change πŸ’€πŸ’€

                                                                          • #66253 Reply
                                                                            User_10ead684
                                                                            Participant
                                                                              U
                                                                              User_10ead684
                                                                              PARTICIPANT
                                                                              January 30, 2025 at 3:07 am
                                                                              Xfdfgh

                                                                            • #66252 Reply
                                                                              User_b6b05beb
                                                                              Participant
                                                                                U
                                                                                User_b6b05beb
                                                                                PARTICIPANT
                                                                                January 30, 2025 at 3:57 am
                                                                                He should sure separate from you who at the first thought of separation thinks of money.

                                                                                • #66284 Reply
                                                                                  Brightthinker9070
                                                                                  Participant
                                                                                    B
                                                                                    Brightthinker9070
                                                                                    PARTICIPANT
                                                                                    January 30, 2025 at 5:50 am
                                                                                    He is the one who has decided that he does not want to give the marraige a chance, refused any kind of intimacy ( not just sex ), is sure he wants ends things and she can’t even ask for wedding expenses back that his parent single handedly payed..? Waah

                                                                                    • #66288 Reply
                                                                                      User_b6b05beb
                                                                                      Participant
                                                                                        U
                                                                                        User_b6b05beb
                                                                                        PARTICIPANT
                                                                                        February 2, 2025 at 4:37 am
                                                                                        Poor baby..awww.. trusting lies.. grow up and see what is happening in the world…

                                                                                        • #66290 Reply
                                                                                          Brightthinker9070
                                                                                          Participant
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                                                                                            Brightthinker9070
                                                                                            PARTICIPANT
                                                                                            February 2, 2025 at 4:41 am
                                                                                            Darling, are you trying to advise me to be prejudiced instead of looking at individual situations….?

                                                                                            You wouldn’t like it if I actually became prejudiced based on general statistics.

                                                                                    • #66251 Reply
                                                                                      User_b6b05beb
                                                                                      Participant
                                                                                        U
                                                                                        User_b6b05beb
                                                                                        PARTICIPANT
                                                                                        January 30, 2025 at 3:58 am
                                                                                        There’s much more you’re playing smart with than meets the eye.

                                                                                      • #66250 Reply
                                                                                        User_9433a65e
                                                                                        Participant
                                                                                          U
                                                                                          User_9433a65e
                                                                                          PARTICIPANT
                                                                                          January 30, 2025 at 6:08 pm
                                                                                          U should not be embarrassed. I should be outraged and let everyone know

                                                                                        • #66249 Reply
                                                                                          User_268b2ef2
                                                                                          Participant
                                                                                            U
                                                                                            User_268b2ef2
                                                                                            PARTICIPANT
                                                                                            January 30, 2025 at 11:10 pm
                                                                                            OP, let this marriage go. Ask him to pay for the expenses and involve a lawyer if he doesn’t agree. Get a nullification, instead of divorce , if possible legally. It’s not a big deal these days. Many, many young people realize they married abusive or uninterested people and walk out.

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