- This topic has 42 replies, 34 voices, and was last updated 1 year, 4 months ago by
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UWe got married few months back, it was arranged marriage but we had courtship period of 4-5 months. Once we started staying together my husband drastically reduced his communication with me, his reason being does not want to emotionally connect with me as he sees stark differences in personality. He avoided physical contact and we have not consumated our marriage.
Now he is saying he doesn’t want to continue this marriage & wants to separate. I moved to the city where he was working after marriage, I don’t have my family in this city. I took transfer from my job & again asking for transfer within few months would be questioned at my workplace. I tried talking with him to understand what’s the problem he is facing and suggested for counselling but he is not ready.
My parents paid for the wedding functions & since he is the one asking to separate I would want him to pay the cost borne by my parents for marriage.
What should be my course of action legally in this scenario, if I want to separate from him? -
RBhaiya counseling kro bat kro cheejo ko suljhane k koshish to kro km se km, 4 mahine me divorce chahiye. At least itne efforts to kro k km se km ye to na lge k what could have been? Aur ye jo yha gyan de rhe h na online, koi kam nhi ayega real life me. To jo bhi kro soch samajhkar tassali se kro. No law/ court can amend relationships. Vo to mil julke hi chalti h baki tum jano tumhara ram jane.
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UAfter so long , i actually saw a woman asking about how to prevent separation in her marriage, it’s so nice to hear. Warna aaj kal toh bas yehi chalta rehta hai ki 4-5 month mein divorce phir husband se heavy settlement aur alimony leke lover ke sath ferrar. You seem like a nice lady, i hope your husband sees how lucky he is 👌
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Uyou’ll need to talk to a lawyer. talk to your family. make your lawyer and family talk to him and his family. explain that u wont backdown without expenses or u ll drag it for maintenance. ask double of what u want, they ll haggle and settle for what u actually want. there is going to be a huge blame game. be prepared. u ll lose love for some family members, lose some friends and go thro some change mentally.
Check if annulment is possible in Indian law. it will dissolve the marriage. but before this, ensure to check with your lawyer and reach a settlement stage.
try to settle it out of court if possible. dont go down without a fight.
your husband probably has another woman or man lined up. see if you can go thro his phone, laptop and social media to find evidence. if he is gay, then high chances he will pay to settle it. if he isnt, he will likely fight.
also, keep a journal, note down everything that happens. personal diary is an evidence in court. have text and call recordings of him saying that he wont consummate the marriage. Indian law is against non consummation, so this will play in your favor. -
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U1. There’s no provision in law wherein a spouse has to compensate the other for wedding expenses per se.
2. You are not entitled for maintenance as you seem to be employed.
3. Staying separated for a period of time does make sense as it will give both of you ample time and space to think about your lives.
4. Ask your spouse how they plan on compensating for all the effort you have been putting in, if they want a seperation/divorce. Get them to think and come up with solutions amicably
5. Divorce mutually without any claims or blame game. Be civi, open and rational and you can pull through this.
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BDude, he can agree to pay the expenses given they single handedly paid for it.
Also, salary differences can warrant alimony, especially if he is pursuing the divorce and it’s not mutual.
He can choose to pay what’s fair and convince her for mutual divorce.
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UExact same case with my friends sister, the Guy has some issue down there and was using all reasons to stay away from her.
Poor girl thought untill 6 months its her fault at the end got to know the issue. Although they are saying its treatable the Guy and his family refuse to believe anything is wrong with them .They are getting divorced i think now.
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UAs you want to separate from your husband the best course would be to file for a contested divorce and claim maintenance from him or you can also claim one time alimony. It is always better to seek legal advice from an advocate in such matters.
It would be advisable not to create pressure upon him by dragging him or his family in any unnecessary proceedings because that will cost you your time and money.
If your husband is living separately and you still want to give your marriage a one last try then you can file for a petition for restitution of conjugal rights in a Family Court. -
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UHappened to me. Moved countries after marriage. He was sweet during courtship and then after marriage got emotionally closed. Would hang out a lot with this gay office friend. Would never had any meal with me coz he likes to eat in office with his friend. When I was visiting my parents, this gay friend would be always at our place ( otherwise he never came) or my ex would go on double date with this gay friend and other gay couple.
When I opened up about how unhappy and lonely I am in marriage. He suggested we separate right away and didn’t agree for couple counselling to at-least try out.
Now I have been separated for year and haven’t been more happier in my life. But looking back I now understand that I was used by him and his family to get him tag of “marriage” which stops society gossip and marriage pressure of family. none of his family member even talked to me once. I guess they knew abt him and I was used as per their motive. His mother even kept pushing me to have baby asap coz I guess they wanted him to have a baby for himself before it all came crashing down. Thank god I stood my ground on not having baby till the marriage was stable.
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UOp ask for your marriage expenses back and go for marriage annulment. Break off cleanly and move on.
It’s seriously not worth the drama and emotional turmoil through divorce.If your S/o decisively made such drastic changes he’s probably seeing someone else and married you through parents compulsion.
Irrespective of what the reason was please prioritize your mental health and break off as quickly and smoothly as possible.
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BThe most important thing that needs to be acknowledged is that irrespective of whether he is gay or doesn’t want this relationship of another reason, he will try to spin the blame around on you. And you will be relentlessly targeted.
Therefore, document everything. Messages. Record conversations. Explain the situation in full detail to people around you whom you trust. Make it known, basically.
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BHe is the one who has decided that he does not want to give the marraige a chance, refused any kind of intimacy ( not just sex ), is sure he wants ends things and she can’t even ask for wedding expenses back that his parent single handedly payed..? Waah
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