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UI (33,F) have come to the realization that my husband of 4 years is cheating on me. I forgave him once recently after a huge begging and pleading session by him. But seems like he is now using dating apps secretly again. I’m considering divorcing him. My queries are –
1. How do I go about this? What is the cost implication?
2. We have 1 joint home together in which are not staying but will start staying there soon. My father has paid for over 80% of it. Rest of the amount is loan split between both of us. Ownership is 50-50. Will I get the house 100%?
3. How do I minimize my losses? Would I get any alimony? We earn almost the same. No dependents or children. -
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SThe case is likely to be in your favour. You might be granted alimony if your income is significantly less than your husband or no income at all and you will easily get the custody of your child (if you have any) along with maintenance
Since you and your husband have joint property, it could get a bit tricky. You might’ve been entitled to the entire property if it was solely your money though your contributions are still more significant. You can buy his shares. The court might divide the property proportionally depending on the contributions from both spouse
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UI’m sorry for what you are going through. I’ll suggest you talk to a lawyer. Also various lawyers will charge various fees, so try to get a rough estimate from them first before finalizing one.
Also, change all your passwords, even if you have the slightest of doubt that he might have seen you entering it: phone, email, banking, social media etc
Hide your notifications on lock screen
Set up call recording apps -
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AWell, mutual consent divorce is the best course of action as it saves time, litigation hassle and unnecessary legal fees. Regarding property division, ownership depends on financial contributions (consideration for the property). Since your father and you have invested more, you can claim a proportionally larger share, provided you have proper documentation/ evidence. To get full ownership, youd need to compensate your husband for his share, considering both his investment and any property appreciation.
As for alimony, Courts consider not just income but also assets, investments n financial standing, as per Supreme Court guidelines. Both parties will need to file their respective affidavits disclosing their financial details, which will influence the final decision on alimony. However, in most of the cases women are awarded final alimony under section 25 of the HMA.
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UThank you, this helps & I agree with you. My overall financial standing is higher – will I have to pay??
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AVery unlikely unless the financial disparity is extremely significant. Courts generally award alimony to ensure financial stability, not as a penalty. Since your incomes are similar, and there’s no major dependency factor, the chances of you having to pay are minimal especially given the fact the way laws are interpreted in India, they’re women centric and highly tilted towards women.
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UHi. Was wondering if you can advise about privacy laws during divorce. My parents are getting divorce(25years of marriage) after we (kids) found hundreds of proof of father’s cheating for over a decade after mother adked to check his phone. Mother is devastated and wants divorce. He is saying we (kids) checked and gathered proof illegally without his permission.Sounds bs to us. Do we have anything to worry about for all the pictures/videos/ watsapp chats found on his phone tho? Can we legally keep these for lifetime? Thank you in advance
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AI’ve answered a similar query by some other redditor today. You may check the same. Feel free to reach out if there are any unanswered questions.
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USorry for your situation.
First talk to your parents / siblings, tell them your decision and seek their support.
Move out from your current home and stay with your parents.
Convey him about your decision, let your parents talk to his parents. If this discussion goes rational, then hire a mutual consented lawyer for discussion with him.
If he throws tantrums, then still go via lawyer and tell him about the legal options you have, ask him to settle this amicably.
As per current law, girl will get upperhand. -
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RUnless he agrees by way of settlement, you won’t get 100% of the home. At best, 90%.
It is unlikely that you will get any alimony, since you earn almost the same, unless you are unable to make ends meet (does not include luxuries) by yourself.
Meet a lawyer and proceed with the case. In case of infidelity, do not proceed without any evidence that your lawyer says is enough.
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It appears that you have a strong case. If you’re able to collect enough evidence it should not be a big issue. While courts grant alimony somewhere between 1/3rd to 1/5th of the husband’s income your case is slightly different since you’re better off financially. However you’d still be able to recover litigation costs fairly easily.
In my experience as a lawyer most husbands are okay with granting divorce once they realise their wives are serious about it. Most cases head for settlement thereafter.
Please feel free to reach out in case of further queries
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SCheating repeatedly is non- negotiable but how cute the following is –
* House ownership is 50-50 but can I take it all?
* We earn equal but can I take alimony?This shows basic lack of empathy or reason. By no means I am saying live with a cheating guy but how riding on the cheating horse, How easily she went to take it all.
You go girl.
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HI hope you get cheated on once in your life, especially when you’ve committed so seriously and so much of yourself to the marriage.
Then let’s see if you’re like ‘oh let’s be practical and split’ or ‘i have no emotions or anger towards you’.
You seem to lack basic empathy or reason.
What a Loser. -
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UMaybe you glossed over the fact that her dad paid for 80% of it. The remaining 20% is being split between the two, that too on loan. Should she just forego what her dad’s contributions?
“riding on his cheating issue” you’re an idiot. She’s even forgiven him once and he continued to break her trust. Yet clowns like you will continue to find fault with her. This is not a morality sub btw
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AShe DESERVES 100% of the house not the cheater. The guy broke the marriage and cheated, cheating warrants a punishment, that is alimony.
By what logic should he left without any punishment? Stop being so emotional and immature.
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SReverse it and I dare if people will support this.
She will automatically becomes victim is she cheats.
Here how it would go-
“CHEATING is bad but she can’t be homeless. Where would she live? She should get half the house value if not full.
And she must get the alimony even if she cheated. She should get a chance to start her life again with his money.”This is exactly how it would have gone. You can name call all you want. Hypocrisy has no limits.
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RDid you miss the part where she said her father paid 80% of it? How cute are your comprehension skills (or the lack of).
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SDid you miss the part where the ownership on paper is 50-50?
Chill. We all are just sharing our views.
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RThe husband should be GRATEFUL for the privilege. Paid about 10% yet got 50-50 YET had the audacity to go cheat. Please do the math properly.
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SPaper talks. Again I myself in similar situations but reverse.
So don’t teach me. I am losing 50 lacs after a major court battle with a cheating wife.
Avoid senseless banter with me.
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RCould totally smell the projection from miles. Sorry for your loss but your bad experience does not mean OP shouldn’t get whats rightfully and legally theirs. I hope you come out of this a better person and not bitter. Prayers ✌🏻
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SChill. I am chill after losing 50 lacs. But this must change.
There is no justice for men. We are dead before we reach court and our pockets are empty .
Think well. Good luck
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RI dont think men watch news anymore. Have you seen crimes against women and their being justice in even a single one of them?
I do not say this unjust laws do not exist, but using it to make a man vs woman thing neglecting every other issue ever is really narrow.
People have forgotten its Us vs the (corrupt) systems and not men vs women. The only ones getting any justice are the ones with money and power and anyone who denies it is also a part of the problem.-
SNow let me clear the air for you and this discussion will be ober. I don’t know you r a girl or guy. But still –
If you are a guy- You have to pay alimony for an illegitimate child born out of an extra merital affair even if you wife f*cks a guy next to you living in your house.
If you are a girl- You get money. Doesn’t matter you abuse, beat , hammer the guy or his family. Even if you forcefully abort an unborn child. You just get the money.
So again grow a pair and think well. I can do this whole week.
I don’t mind making a man out of an ignorant S*mp or open eyes of an ignorant woman here.
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UUsing dating apps only for chatting and calling wont deserves divorce. If he has actual physical relationship after chatting on dating apps, u may file the case
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CIf its a mental stress thing due to which you are divorcing him, don’t think too much on how much money you can pull from him, otherwise it sounds like you are doing it for the money.
Play fair, 80% father paid, 10% you paid, just pay him 6-7% and ask for 100% ownership of the flat.
Same for other things, your mental peace is important.
Legal case, asking for more alimony, lawyers, will make you stressed out. Make a simple excel sheet and ask for whats yours plus some amount you think is fair and move on ! -
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P1. For some “once a cheater, always a cheater” saying sits well. Looks like your husband is in that category. I understand that mental torture that he has put you through. Collect some evidence of his adulterous life. Consult a lawyer who deals with Divorce cases. File for a contested divorce on the grounds of Adultery and Cruelty. Read through this to understand the procedure [https://divorcebylaw.com/best-contested-divorce-lawyers-in-bangalore/](https://divorcebylaw.com/best-contested-divorce-lawyers-in-bangalore/)
2. The joint property has more of your contribution (your + your father’s), you can ask him to leave it to you. In one of the prayers at the end of your petition, ask him to transfer the 50% of his rights to you. It can be made through a registered release deed before the divorce gets finalized.
3. Regarding Alimony, you take a call whether you need any financial support from him, if he leaves the house for you. If he doesn’t agree transfer the house to your name, then ask for the alimony to compensate all that your father and you have put in the property with interest. [https://divorcebylaw.com/maintenance/](https://divorcebylaw.com/maintenance/)
4. If you want to go little softer on him, after collecting and keeping the evidence safe, confront him and ask him to agree for the mutual consent divorce. [https://divorcebylaw.com/mutual-divorce-lawyer-in-bengaluru/](https://divorcebylaw.com/mutual-divorce-lawyer-in-bengaluru/) In this case also make sure the house comes to you.
For further clarification and discussion on this, you can consult us [https://g.co/kgs/S5AP95k](https://g.co/kgs/S5AP95k)
**Disclaimer:** In the absence of all the facts of the case, the comments given may not be the best solution for your case. One on one consultation with a legal counsel/ advocate is advised to get better guidance.
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UIt’s good to leech money out of a human who leeched the joy from your life and possibly gave you STDs, the treatments of which are expensive, apart from other issues both physical and mental.
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CYou’re earning as much as him, yet tumko alimony bhi chahiye? 😂😂😂
Kitna greedy banogi?
Mutual divorce deke, take the house and forgo alimony! This is fair deal for both of you!
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UThis is a legal advice sub where people can ask questions. Give legal advice not moral advise.
We are supposed to advise what is best for our the person asking the question. “Fairness” is judge’s prerogative not a lawyer’s.
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CTo usko ghar mil to raha hai na!
And monetary compensation se, will she be able to heal from the betrayal? 🧐Also, its stupid! Tumko uss insaan ke saath nahi rehna, lekin uske paise se apni zindagi guzarogi?
Iss paise pe already itna negativity hoga, ki wo happily nahi jee paegi! Haram ka paisa hai!Thus said, cheating galat hai! I do not support that! She should divorce him for sure! LEKIN, when one is educated and already earning decent, then greedy nahi hona chahiye!
Khair, this is my perspective / opinion!
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AWell i can see everyone suggesting you to end your marriage.
What i can suggest is you need to first understand why is he doing all this just like a woman want a man to be loyal even a man wants the same thing. But yes sexual needs is a basic human tendency which we all have and probably he’s not getting the same from you.
All this does not need counseling and all. All what is required is complete attention from both of yall mentally and physically.
Give it a try and then see…
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EIt’s highly likely to be in your favour – considering solely the facts as you presented. To make it 100% – collect enough evidence against the party, convertibly stored in the form of papers or physical storage for the court to verify easily. Hire a trusted lawyer and submit the evidence collected in a step by step manner, as per the proceedings (don’t give it all at one go, especially if you are speaking to the lawyer for the first time. The rule of thumb here is to act fast before contacting a lawyer & at your own pace post meeting). But make sure you do that only after the preliminary step of collecting evidence. Hope this helps.:)
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