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COurs was a perfectly arranged marriage, I am financially stable, my parents are working, his parents are working, and he has no other financial obligations, He had less salary during the initial time of our marriage, but we didn’t actually put any condition on the finances of the groom because we were looking for a family who had good reputation in the society. Anyway, after like 6 months of our marriage I caught him taking money from my account and lying about it, should have ended it there by then, but his mother kind of brainwashed me into believing that he was financially struggling and was a person with very much fear about what others think about his financial condition, hence I let it go, then after a while, I found a lot of Facebook messages from his Facebook (which he forgot to log out of my computer) asking people/friends for smaller amount of money like 400-2000 rs without any shame. His mother and father claimed he never had any bad habits like drinking, so I warned him strictly not to beg for money from others. So I took care of all his bills, even phone bills; man never owned a shirt paid by him; everything was bought for him by either me, my father, or his father. Then after a year, I found him taking multiple personal loans, ranging from 1000- to 35000 ( He earned around 30000 at that time) again mother and father came, begged a
We put him into a couple of counselling, and he admitted that he has been “occasionally drinking” and tried to change. Then, again, in the past 9 months, it was obvious he had been drinking every day when I pointed it out, the mother and father blamed me for “infertility”( we don’t have kids because the man is drunk and sleeping most days)Then I started getting calls from loan app people. So, I went through his credit report, and the man, despite earning around 50000 for two months, has taken loans near to 1.5L, mostly on month-end and salary day. Now I have left his home,( and no any bills of mine, even a gift for anniversary or Valentine’s day has been bought by him, even the food we ate was paid by me) went to the lawyer for divorce notice and the lawyer was like there is no enough proof, this won’t win a contested divorce and literally making me rethink my decision. Every time I went through his cibil report I find these unexplained expenses and I am still asking him to give clarity on these situations, his mother and father is acting non chalant, his father claims he has paid back all the loans and mother acts like I am obliged to take care of him because they have put him into treatment for addiction and he still claims he spend around 1.5 L in two months only for alcohol but I don’t believe it. I think I am going for a different lawyer and planning to send the notice by the end of the month. What should I look for, what evidence should I collect, what will be the grounds for divorce? -
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UDid you speak to your husband about a divorce? Mutual is the quickest and best way. If he says no, then you can file lack of sex and all as cruelty.
Seems like husband doesn’t want to work and you’re the breadwinner. He will be given alimony since you’re better off than him significantly.
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BGet a another divorce lawyer.
Ask for mutual divorce first in person. Don’t ask over texts or calls.
If he refuse, contest divorce based on DV and dowry.
Abusive partners irrespective of gender rarely agree for mutual divorce. Women atleast have ways to deal with it. File matrimonial charges and take back cases when he agree for mutual for divorce. Make case strongerYour lawyer might be MRA.
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IFiling a wrongful DV and dowry case is such a bad idea. Even though this is clear financial abuse the guy is not asking for dowry nor has she mentioned any actual violence against her. Please do not encourage women to file false cases. It not only penalises innocent men but also takes attention away from actual cases where legal intervention is necessary. Also i am pretty sure that filing a false police report is also a crime.
OP please consult a different lawyer to see if you can find a solution more to your liking. I repeat again please please please do not file false DV or Dowry.
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CNo DV but he has yelled at me in several places when I asked about his financial conditions and drinking habits, that’s it, not planning for DV charges , I just want to get out of this mess, not even claiming maintanence or alimony.
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IIn that case your best and quickest option is secure your finances and assets,move out and file for divorce. Go to your parents place if possible as it will avoid additional expense and you will have emotional support when your husband and in laws come hounding behind you begging to give him another chance. Also if possible compile a record of all the calls/messages you have gotten from collection agencies, might come in handy during the divorce case. All the best to you. Stay strong!
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CAsked for mutual divorce to him and his family, and his father pleaded to give them 6 months so that they could put him into treatment and fix the issues .
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SOP has not mentioned anywhere about Domestic violence or dowry. This would mount to false allegations and eventually op could also loose alimony.
If you are suggesting to use this to scare the shit of OP husband, it might work but would never recommend falsely accusing someone.
Divorce can be taken on ground of cruelty which perfectly fits this situation.
Laws should be use as means of justice and not tools of vengeance. -
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DYou definitely have grounds for a divorce, and a contested one, cruelty being one. The evidence is usually limited in such cases, and courts usually join the dots to arrive at a judgment. But what evidence can be quoted as relevant can only be decided post a detailed discussion. Delhi based lawyer here. Please feel free to reach out, should you require. Thanks.
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CThanks, the lawyer I consulted also said the same about contested divorce and he feels that it would take long time in my case and kind of made me scared.
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BLawyer here based in Delhi. I suggest you think this all out and through first before proceeding legally. Secondly, your legal notice must be well versed with all the ingredients and details because once you send it through, it’ll be a part of the record for your future proceedings, if any. Lastly, tread this path carefully as it will decide the fate of your marriage.
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PDo you think he’s gay and has a secret relationship and married you just because of peer society pressure?
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Dyou definitely do have grounds for divorce, but yes more proof of you husbands recklessness would help, try get proof about all the loans he has taken and also the amount of time he took money from your account. it doesnt matter whether he has paid off the loan or not, the past is enough ground for a divorce.
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HGet a better lawyer, ASAP. This one clearly doesn’t get it. What you’ve described, financial abuse, addiction, lying, emotional manipulation is more than enough for a contested divorce under cruelty.
Start collecting all proof: credit reports, messages, bills, anything that shows the pattern. And get a lawyer who actually knows matrimonial law. You’re doing the right thing. -
HHave you ever thought of helping your husband, not financially but by trying to find out what is the reason.
I mean what’s the point of treating symptoms, must find the root cause.
Why jump to divorce all the time
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CAsked multiple times for problems, Even a year ago everyone in the family sat together and asked him about why did he took the loans, did someone scammed him? Did something happened to him? Multiple chances were given,went to couple counselling with him, the thing about helping him is he lies , he says different stories to different people ,his parents act confused everytime when I ask if he has any bad things happened in his life. Inorder to make him happy, I sacrificed my job and to make him feel secured went to stay with his parents thinking he would feel ease at home. Never made him pay any of his bills, never took any money from him, even helped me register for multiple exams( which he requested )by sending him money, tried to initiate sex multiple times, rejected every time.we both went to sexual expert , he willingly took medicine, I paid for all the bills of treatment, even when his work get hectic I sat down with him and helped him in his work. Clearly warned him and year ago not to take money from anyone else or through loans and don’t drink and he still repeated it after 6 months. Also I took him to vacation at most destinations ,took all the expenses for that. What else I have to do to fix this marriage when the other party doesn’t put the bare minimum effort of communication.
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CThis has been happening since the first year of marriage, 4 years have passed, you think it’s jumping to divorce?
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EPlease review if there is hope in the relationship… There is a blind spot that you are not aware of where he is spending so much money so may be try to figure that out (worst case pvt detective?). Breaking is easy and building is difficult. Agreed that your situation is tough but may be you will come out stronger, one way or the other… God bless!
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PCruelty can be financial, emotional and denying sexual intercourse, etc. the degree of which the spouse seeking divorce cannot tolerate anymore is a valid ground. Read through this page to understand the grounds. You may find more grounds here that you didn’t think of [https://divorcebylaw.com/best-contested-divorce-lawyers-in-bangalore/](https://divorcebylaw.com/best-contested-divorce-lawyers-in-bangalore/)
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**Disclaimer:** Without understanding all the facts of the case, the advice given here may not be the best. It is advised to consult an advocate to get better remedy for the issues at hand.
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