- This topic has 90 replies, 53 voices, and was last updated 1 year, 2 months ago by
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M21 , student in a famous city in Maharashtra , whenever i go out people mostly men , touch me on my shoulder ,chest , back , a** , intententionally they show it was un intentional not one men, not one day. Its daily. Like they decided to do until i die or kill myself , whom should i ask help for , how i will explain , no one will belive me . Ps i had a tragedg in my life because of whiche most of people recognise me with face , thats why they do this , if not touch what they do is they cough infront of me or clap infront of me . Whay should i do . How police can help me , am i being sexually absued or r*ped idk i syarted avoiding going out and cant focus on my studies i dont even go to college because it also happens there also. What measures should i take to not being touched , isnt it being defencive and alert all the time ?
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DTalk to your friends and think about getting some type of police complaint on board. Women’s rights wing could help. Find out about local Women’s wing leaders and take their help.
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DMay be because it is assumed if you are being troubled in this way, you must be a woman. Ignore.
Also know that there are no laws in our country to prevent men from s3xual abuse. So you have to help yourself. If you have friends, step out with them for a few days. Learn some self defence…it will give you confidence. If you can’t distance yourself from the environment you are in, you will have to find a way to confront the bullies, without compromising safety. Will take time. So short term, build your support circle first.
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UIts just increasing trouble , and how many men i will confront with , its almost everywhere im being touched
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MThe feeling that everyone knows you or talks about you is actually undiagnosed trauma. Kindly seek a therapist, many times people do it for free also, in case you can’t afford it. You have to resolve the trauma from your earlier tragedy to feel normal again.
PS – no one does it on purpose everyday. Even if you are pretty. You are taking it more seriously because you are sensitive to it.-
UTotally agree , but as i say most of them recognise me with face , as i mentioned a big event has happned with me thats why they do this
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AAre you a celebrity ? Even if you have a porn video online no body is going to remeber and recognise you unless you’re really famous.
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BA porno shoot gone wrong ( all consented ) , a guy uploads a porno on Instagram reels , the person and his friend ( guy ) both drink and the person who offered then proceeds to remove his clothes and then lays him down as he sleeps ( knocked out with alcohol ) .
The video then starts with the guy r@ping him ( all the gay stuff ) and ends .
Went very very viral and i had to bear this shit for a whole week .
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DAgreed it could be earlier trauma. The part after the ‘PS’..Is this not victim blaming to some extent?
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MNo because I feel the same. I feel everyone is talking about me or making fun of me. To the extent I fight with people before they can express themselves. And after many years on Earth, with some IQ and EQ I have figured that I am sensitive. Hence I take it more personally.
Now I have to consciously tell myself that I am not the centre of attention and everyone will not talk about me in r look at me or make fun of me.Not everyone on internet is a troll, some of us genuinely want to help others via our experiences.
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CI am genuinely interested in knowing how you control yourself when you people whisper to each other in ears and you think they’re making fun of you ? I too am sensitive about this and even after changing the environment and people around me, I still have the same feeling (again IDK but I have to get a validation from someone else that I am not someone who is supposed to be made fun of). IDK what past trauma I had but I am still sensitive to this and yeah, one of my well wisher told me I am vulnerable to a bad friend group and a mental breakdown if I still cannot work on my confidence.
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SThis makes sense. Not to trivialize your trauma OP, but most people today wouldn’t recognize most Bollywood stars or cricketers or singers these days if they passed them by. Unless you’re Shahrukh Khan or MS Dhoni, I’m not sure how a single tragic event in your life made you so famous that everybody recognizes you by face years later.
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Sbro please get consulted with a psychiatrist they’d be more eligible after a couple of seasons to suggest you further course of action please don’t take this comment in a negative or offensive 🙏
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CFrom my experience if you guys are friends for me it’s like a casual thing.. none of my mates do it with an I’ll intent even if we play around we abuse tf out of each other so if it’s something that’s not being talked or mocked during or after the event ( that is if you feel insulted) convey them not to do it anymore…if not just show them you can do the same thing to them too they will stay off clear of you…just need to shame them a little
Sometime that’s all good and if they persist then may be you can switch cities ( I wrote all this thinking ur a male my friend if your a lady the incident is not looking favorable) -
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PAs others mentioned, it’s most likely you have trauma and it shows in your face which attracts predatory men. I say this because I myself have suffered past trauma and I attract assholes.
This sounds a little too corny or advice anyone and everyone gives, but I tried these and it helps,1. Meditation. The reason for recommending mediation, is that it will create a space between ourselves and our mind and it’s incredibly helpful to view our thoughts objectively. It’s like having a great friend within ourself who has better judgement and better ways to handle things.
2. Journaling your experience in a notebook (even digital like penzu or something helps). The reason to do this is because when you write things down your emotions from the mid or lower (lizard) brain is transferred to the prefrontal Cortex (problem-solving part of brain). Which helps us process emotions better, solve them and also provides you a way to vent out.
3. Music (I listen to calm happy music before sleep, like coldplay)
4. Exercise.
5. Going to the temple. I highly recommend meditating in jeeva samadhis, I try to do this atleast once a week. It’s incredibly helpful than all of the above.
6. Reading books or watching long podcasts from people like naval ravikant etc.
Although these are my personal go to things when things go wrong, I would still suggest you to take professional help.
I would also recommend going out at times (like early mornings) and places that are most likely to not be predatory like temples, libraries, restaurants with friends etc. if it’s really about appearances then change hairstyle etc.
Also try to reduce screen time especially doom scrolling in instagram or any social media.As one of them already mentioned, wearing a mask, changing location or gym are good ideas too.
Take care buddy,
Things will get better if we work on them. -
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USome times its not just touch , they kind of push me , while walking , as if they are in hurry and dont recognise a human there
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STujhe thoda hard banana padega aisey soft rahega toh koi bhi tera advantage lega , thoda harsh aur rude ban aur Darr math . Connections bana badey logon kay sath jaisey politicians or someone influential
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EChange the city, if possible state too.
If not possible then have 🧷safety pins on you at all times, when you feel someone is touching you just open up that pin and poke it in them, do it discretely but confidently, exactly like how they don’t think touching you is bad in any way. -
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LI’m sorry you’re going through this. What you’re experiencing is harassment, and it is not your fault. You deserve to feel safe, respected, and protected, just like anyone else. Please speak to a trusted adult, counselor, or file a police complaint at your local police station. Being alert all the time isn’t a solution; you deserve freedom, not fear. And no matter what anyone says, what’s happening to you is not okay. You deserve support and peace.
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BSome instance happened with me in my teenage and now looking back the things that can help you
-A single trustworthy person is enough to confide(I initially didn’t confided and learnt it hard way)
-how much time till graduation?
( no contact with anyone associated to your trauma and move to some other place after grad even if it is for short duration)-accept homosapiens r pathetic (u can’t change them)
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EWhat? You had a tragedy , thats why people recognise you. And because they recognise you the touch you, cough and clap in front of you.
All this sounds like a bad dream.
Its very unclear why people who recognise you are coughing and clapping?
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AI genuinely feel for you my man. Back when I was a kid I was on the heavier side and had man boobs. Men would just “unintentionally” touch me and shit. I realised after too long. Power to you! Stay strong, and get some therapy, though I don’t know how much that will help. Try to get some sort of life support from a trusted human. For me it was my elder sister.
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SYou need testosterone and gym.
Man up, build a manly physique and personality.
You’re coming off as an effiminate boy. Trust me the world is build like this, I’m not being rude, but it’s in nature of these men who see you as a target, they’re predatory and you’re giving off vibes of a prey.
Hit the gym, improve diet, make some male friends, play sports and make yourself mentally and physically stronger.
These things will take time to improve and change, the changes will not happen immediately but it will happen gradually over 2-3 years. Stay strong.
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UAs a tall guy sometimes people bump into me and once I think someone touched me. If one day some one gropes me I will beat them.
Its hard to raise your voice and fight back. GL op
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