- This topic has 40 replies, 19 voices, and was last updated 1 year, 1 month ago by
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SHey guys,
So basically what the title says. I’m a male, and me and my family are looking for a girl for me to get married to. I came across one profile on an matrimonial app and expressed my interest. Surprisingly, the girl’s side reciprocated, and one thing followed another and we had her parents visit us as just an initial hi-hello. Everything went well, people seemed to like each other. But later one of family member expressed concern over their caste. So we belong to general category and the girl’s family is OBC.
Although I was not thinking of it initially, but now I want to know more.
Are there actually any practical / legal / political things that I should be aware of, which can go against my favour just because of the girl being OBC, in case things fall apart in my marriage? -
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SHaha, would love to be the “trailblazer”, but also want to be safe as I belong to a normal middle class family and I don’t have the resources nor the appetite to deal with legal issues, if they may come.
Appreciate your words of encouragement, but I am really looking for practical real life advice, so that I go in fully understanding the consequences. -
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MGive your children names after ur wife and they can avail benefit of obc.
Wtf is this question lol.
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SNot really. They have no way of checking. You can inherit whichever caste you like from either parent.
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SYou can’t force a patriarchy on someone. Lots of women (like myself) might choose to retain the caste of our birth, just like we don’t change our last names, or our gotras. Sure, if you pick out a random caste it might be a problem, however if it’s one of either parents birth it shouldn’t be.
I would take offense if someone forced me to take on my husbands caste, last name or gotra. We have decided to not force either of our lineages on our kids as well. As in they inherit the customs and traditions from both sides. Also no father’s last name business.
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FMa’am I’m not forcing anything. Look up the rules.
I’m saying that the kids will have the caste of the father.
The wife will stay the same caste, even if she were to change her surname and what not.
Choosing is different and sure all the power to you for doing all that.
I was merely talking about what would normally happen.
I’m not talking about patriarchy or anything like that.-
SSimple Google search gave me this result: [https://www.newindianexpress.com/cities/chennai/2021/Feb/13/inter-caste-couples-can-now-choose-kids-caste-2263339.html](https://www.newindianexpress.com/cities/chennai/2021/Feb/13/inter-caste-couples-can-now-choose-kids-caste-2263339.html)
At least in Tamil Nadu, intercaste couples can give either parents caste to their child. I’m sure other states would follow or already have such provisions in existence.
Sorry, was not opposing you. It’s just absurd that in 2025 a democratic country like India would consider father’s caste as the default. The only thing that does make sense is stripping you of reservation benefits if one of you is a “general” category.
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SApparently, that’s not possible. Children will get my caste, which is even more weird that the girl’s family are letting go of their potential benefits. So yeah…
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FOBC is fine.
In the case of SC/ST community the SC/ST atrocities act can be misused to file cases.
Before anyone thinks it’s a hypothetical scenario, read below of a case in which the wife was SC/ST and Husband upper caste and the wife filed both 498A and SC/ST act on the husband.
Link :
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NAL
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SThis.
We have one experience (not martial) in our family, where we rented out a second home we own to a person/family. After staying a few months, he said he couldn’t pay rent because of financial issues. We were understanding of it and gave leway. But after 6-7 months, we told him to pay the rent or empty the house. Turns out he was ST, started quarelling and threatening atrocity, claiming that we wanted him out because of his caste. Actually jailed one of the neighbours who was helping us sort out the issue under atrocity. This whole experience left a bad taste for us on the whole atrocity law thing.
That’s exactly why I want to understand more about such things in the matters of the marriage. Personal beliefs aside, I feel if there are practical/legal things stacked against me, I better be safe than sorry.-
FAny law in which one gender/caste or whatever is by default made the aggressor would be misused.
The same reason why USA never introduced a law which said that “racial discrimination of whites on blacks” is criminal.
The only way to ensure fairness is by making laws that are race/gender/religion neutral.
Hope that helps.
Edit : NAL
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ISomeone tried to explain the same to the SC recently while speaking against discriminatory laws and the court said that why should we follow other countries? They should follow us.
Guess this is what happens when you copy paste the constitution from other countries but fail to update the mistakes when they do. Like they say “nakal ke liye bhi akal chahiye”
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SIn another scenario, any woman can file dowry harassment and domestic violence case against the husband. Both are non-bailable offences. Best solution to avoid them is to never marry.
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Gnope, not much difference between general and OBC in the legal world (unlike SC/ST). If your chemistry is good and the families also are okay then no issues at all.
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MI made this mistake once. I was totally fine with a girl, and then started listening to what problems others had with her, when they also had no clear idea of what the concern was – certainly my loss.
Don’t concern yourself with nonsense, save that beautiful brain for solving real problems and achieving your dreams. -
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