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CI’m asking this on behalf of someone who’s going through a tough situation.
His wife is employed on a contractual basis in a govt organization. He is a private sector employee and earns less than her.
She has been cheating on him for more than 2 years now (before they even got married officially), he only recently discovered this. He has some evidence, but nothing solid like chat screenshots or photos/videos. She has confessed of her adultery in person, but he couldn’t record it.
He wants her to take a Khula (Muslim version of the woman initiating the divorce where the husband doesn’t have to pay alimony, and whatever he gave to her in Mahr and/or gold, cash etc. will be returned to him)
But, she’s not ready to initiate that, as obviously, she’d have to bear the consequences. Now, he fears that if he divorces her under the Muslim law, he’d be somehow liable to pay alimony.
They don’t have any kids (she rejected his proposal to this earlier, and now that she’s caught, she suddenly wants kids, but he’s keeping his distance).
Will he be liable to pay any alimony under any circumstances? Is her confession in person of any value? If not, then what are the possibile evidences that may help him in his case?
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CFor some more context: she never paid for any household expenses so far. All the money that she earns is hers, and there is absolutely no contribution from her end towards the household. The husband bears all the expenses.
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UYahan mujhe ek banda nhi mil raha, shaadi ke liye becuase of my child abuse aur yahan isko do-do mil Gaye……..hey uper wale, mere liye kisiko paisa kiya tha ya nhi.
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UFace your things, no one will come to save you. This might sound brutal but efforts will give you results instead of crying over issues.l on the internet. Just saying.
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UI am not crying, I am just venting out my frustration😤. And I don’t use social media daily, I use it when I am having anxiety and panic attacks.
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UChild abuse sucks. Ruins the perception of your entire life especially if it’s done by someone in the family. Khuda sabr dey apko
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UHi,
while i personally am not going through a matrimonial issue, my sister is having a similar problem.
It has been very difficult to find a nice cultured groom now a days that too in the Muslim community in India. Spending a lot of money just to talk to creeps on matrimonial sites or NRIs who have basically no background in india.
It’s a very difficult situation on how to judge a person’s character in today’s day and age, where people have so many personas thanks to social media. Upon that when people are from another country it’s next level difficultly.
My sis is well accomplished so finding even half as accomplished as her also as been tough. It’s not like there no men available it’s just that all the good ones don’t want to get married because of fear out of things mentioned in the original post.
So Just hang in there, keep making efforts, inshallah you will get a good guy.
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IDo they not feel guilt or something? I mean, seriously, she was cheating him for like 2 years. How horrible she might be.
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CAbsolutely no shame or guilt. She only paused because she got caught. And, still has the audacity to emotionally manipulate him. Her entire family is trying to dismiss this, stating reasons like ‘zindagi mein ye sab to hota rehta hai’. And the cherry on top: this was a love marriage. They’d known each other for 8 years 🙃
Breaks my heart to see him. He’s a simple, decent and lively person.
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UAlimony is applicable as it’s her right to maintain same lifestyle as husband
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Cheating is a ground for divorce but her right remains the same-
COkay, so her earning more than him doesn’t constitute anything? I mean, it will immediately be proved that she earns more and has more savings, assets and investments. Does the husband still have to pay?
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UYeah unless there is a big exception like she being NRI earning 5L per. Month and you 1L per month
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In that case she herself will not want your money
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And women always marry a higher social status, rarely they even go for the same income
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That’s why guys suicide basically you are cooked if your wife wants to screw you-
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ULMAO bachelors in late 20s thinking they will make a strong case by giving evidence to lawyers etc.
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Wait for them, to enter the courtroom and see SIMP judges telling “alimony too dena hga”
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Wait for them to hear all their logic going in trash, lawyers colluding and playing asking for extra money-
PTrue Mostly it’s just mothered law in most countries, it’s same unless they have good lawyer and proof here it’s just justice is blind and law favours rich and women who can afford it and they don’t really give a shit as lawyers get certain percentage of money after winning and certain amount to government, only if these stuff happens to judges and higher up rich and politicians kid and they commit suicide it will be talked upon and maybe changes may come but wont happen cuz they generate money .
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UDid he pay haq mahr already? At the time of the nikkah?
What proof does he have of her cheating?
Khula is when a woman willingly gives up the marriage. How can he force her to do something she would have to do willingly?
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CYes, the haq mahr has been paid.
For proof, he has some people who’ve witnessed the two being in compromising situations at her workplace.
He asked her to initiate the Khula, so he can get his money and gold back, as he doesn’t want to stress himself more by running to court, seeking a divorce from a wife who won’t mutually agree to it. But she has refused, because in this case, she’s liable to pay back.
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UA man can’t ask a woman to initiate khula. That’s not how khula works.
Are the compromising situations at work them having sex? Inappropriate touching? Talking together? Witnesses to them giggling at work aren’t going to prove anything in court.
He needs to initiate divorce himself and has to let go of the idea that he will get back mahar. She’s not going to give that back and it’s going to cost more in court fees to try to get it back than it’s probably worth.
In many cases, mahar is seen as alternative to alimony, especially in cases where children are not involved. This would not be a hard to case to argue but I doubt it would even come to that.
Sounds like the main holdup is your friend not wanting to let go of getting back mahar. How much did he pay that he cares this much?
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CHow sad 🙁
Firstly, you got a wife that cheats on you. And the next thing you know, you have to pay so she can live a lavish life.
Damn, some people just get the worst of it.
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UIf everything goes as per shariah law or muslim law in India, he needs to pay maintenance only till the iddat period of 4 months. She will be a stranger after that totally. This is the blessing of Islam to muslim men. Hope the Indian govt doesn’t ruin it for Indian Muslim men like the Hindu men who suffer at the hands of women in Indian law.
In fact Hindu bros should demand shariah type of arrangement in Indian law when it comes to divorce and maintenance.
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CMine is mix lol. Hindu + muslim caste with slightly more shifted towards Islam. My dad’s real younger brother had Nikha while my dad has Hindu wedding. Same case in my mom. 4 siblings had Hindu wedding while one had Nikha. Though these days majority do Nikha. I want Hindu wedding for myself tho but I am having other thoughts now lol.
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CBecause that wouldn’t solve the problem. She’d still be his wife, and he’d have to fulfill all her rights as a husband.
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UAs per Quran 4.34 he can forsake her and even discipline her by striking. I completely disagree with it but it is written there.
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UTune padha Quran 4.34 ya nahi?
Ek do hadees bhi batau majedar… https://sunnah.com/ibnmajah:537 It states:
> It was narrated that ‘Aishah said:
“I often scraped it (semen) from the garment of the Messenger of Allah with my hand.”
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SYes, alimony is still applicable. In July last year, Supreme court has stated that all married and divorced Muslim women are entitled to claim maintenance from their husbands under Section 125 of the Code of Criminal Procedure (CrPC), 1973 which till now was not applicable to them.
Section 125(4) explicitly states that a wife who is living in adultery is not entitled to receive maintenance BUT courts have held that few isolated adultery acts by wife no bar for alimony. (https://www.newindianexpress.com/cities/delhi/2022/Apr/15/cruelty-isolated-adultery-acts-by-wife-no-bar-for-alimony-delhi-hc-2442217.html)
Now, it depends on judges to define what isolated adultery acts are, meaning if whether cheating was once or thousand times, judge will decide whether it was adultery or not and most of the time unless wife is living in with someone else they consider it isolated acts. .The best thing your friend can do is to take his loss and divorce and pay whatever court decides otherwise he will have to pay for someone else child also.
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Ui like how the parliament chose the word “living in adultery” so some judge would then say that one or two doesn’t count. Even in the new bnss act.
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UThe wife’s confession is not recorded it becomes an allegation made by the husband. And therefore the burden of proof lies on the husband. Well if there is a solid evidence then the husband is not liable to any maintenance or alimony but this situation changes if there is a child or she can conceive even if the wife earns more then it’s upon the judge who is hearing the matter.
The only reasonable advice will be that the husband must seek help from court and before that he must find some solid evidence. Until then do not get her pregnant and maintain a good distance from her and get very sad and demotivated in front of everyone. Understand that your money is precious then your ego, if you understand that then your pocket will be full and you will get divorced. -
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PHe can divorce her as per Shariat, any of the Talaq that applies to him. Yes. there is an element that she may claim maintenance.
Otherwise Ask her to agree for Mubarat (Mutual Consent Divorce). In this case, make her agree to state that there will not be any future claims.
Let him collect some evidence of her infidelity. If she doesn’t agree for Mubarat he can always use them when she claims maintenance or alimony. 2 years of infidelity must have some trail, let him gather.
He should also tell their families about her infidelity, so that she would face some resistance in filing false claims.
**Disclaimer:** In the absence of all the facts of the case, the comments given may not be the best solution for your case. One on one consultation with a legal counsel/ advocate is advised to get better guidance.
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ULets removed the emotions in any divorce case. The courts are not emotional institutions.
Two objectives:
1) Divorce: yes he will get a divorce if he can give ample proof of cheating which is ADULTERY.
Adultery is considered a valid legal ground for divorce under the Hindu Marriage Act, 1955, as well as other personal laws. This applies to both men and women equally.
To use adultery as a ground for divorce, concrete evidence like photographs, messages, witnesses, or other proof of the extramarital affair is needed.2) Alimony: A woman MAY NOT be eligible for alimony if the reason for divorce is ADULTERY. The decision on this depends on specific circumstances and also the severity of the infidelity.
A lot of other personal circumstances are reviewed in court to come to a decision on such a divorce.
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