- This topic has 5 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 1 year, 2 months ago by
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RRecently I made a [post ](https://www.reddit.com/r/LegalAdviceIndia/comments/1jw9e3f/father_hit_my_mom_i_tried_to_stop_him_i_told_him/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)about the problem.
My father is 70 years old. He had a stroke last year. He is in a bad shape. This is his second marriage. He used to beat his first wife. And on several occasions he hit my mom too.
I was living in the US, I left my job and came back to India. Because of my father.
Recently he hit my mom because she did not prepare some chutney for lunch. I did not initially notice it, but I just noticed it in the evening. Her lower lip was injured because of the slap. She was bleeding from her lower lip.
When this happened, I literally jumped on him, pinned him to the ground. I sat on him. In the heat of the moment I was shouting a lot of things like “I will beat the living shit out of you”. “I won’t let you go till you start crying”. “I am the head of the family, and you will respect me.”. “I will beat you with a belt”.
I am sure the neighbors heard all of this. I did not hit him. I merely restrained him physically. I also told him that I will file a police complaint against you.
After that I left for a few hours. I came back home. He attempted suicide. He made a Facebook post saying that I am blaming him for losing my job in the US. And I am being violent with him. So he is ending his life.
We took him to the hospital. He is safe, but his speech is slurry. He is not able to walk properly now. The hospital asked him if he wants to file a medico-legal case and he said no.
At this point, I want to file a police complaint so if he attempts a suicide again, I will be safe. My mom is also willing to come with me to police station for this.
**We only want to file a complaint against him. If he goes to jail, he will die. We don’t want that. We just want to safe guard ourselves from future legal risk.**
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MFile a NC complaint stating you don’t want any arrest, it’s for record-keeping and future protection only.
Include facebook post and suicide attempt in complaint. -
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BYour situation is a messy one, and emotions are running high, so let’s approach this step by step.
You’re asking whether you can file a **domestic violence complaint** but tell the police **not to arrest** your dad. Short answer? **Not really.** Here’s why:
1. **Domestic Violence Act and Arrests**: Under the **Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act (2005)**, the police have the **right** to take action when a complaint is filed. The law is designed to protect the victim, not the perpetrator. So, technically, if you file a domestic violence complaint, the police can arrest your dad if they think it’s necessary.
2. **Option to Not Arrest**: But, and here’s the kicker, **the police can decide not to arrest him immediately** depending on the situation. Arrest isn’t mandatory unless there are serious injuries, or it’s a recurring pattern of violence. They might instead file a non-cognizable report (NCR) or give a warning. So, it’s not guaranteed that he’ll go to jail right away. They can also call for **mediation** if both parties are willing, and your mom might not press charges right away. **But** remember, the police still have the power to act if the situation gets serious.
3. **Filing the Complaint**: You can go ahead and file a **domestic violence complaint** to ensure you and your mom are protected legally in case things escalate in the future. This complaint will be your way of **documenting** the abuse, especially since he has a history of violent behavior. It helps build your case if things get worse, and it protects you from any future legal risks, like him accusing you wrongly.
4. **Avoiding Jail**: You’re concerned that if he gets arrested, he might die because of his age and health. **That’s valid**. You can tell the police exactly that. Be upfront about it. They might take a more lenient approach, given his age and health, and choose not to arrest him immediately. But, once the case is filed, the police will still have the discretion to act as per the law, especially if they believe he’s a danger to your mom or others.
5. **The Suicide Attempt**: He’s already made a suicide attempt, which adds another layer of complexity. If he’s truly at risk of harming himself again, you have to be very careful. If you file the complaint, make sure to **document** his mental health state as well. The hospital may not have wanted to file a medico-legal case, but **you** can still mention his suicidal tendencies when you talk to the police. This could help ensure he gets proper mental health care, which might help keep him safe from himself.
6. **Legal Protection**: Filing the complaint is about protecting you and your mom legally, not about sending him to jail. It can give you a **protection order** under the **Domestic Violence Act**, which can prevent him from approaching or harassing your mom in the future. That’s the key part—**protection**, not punishment.
Now, I get it—you don’t want him to go to jail and die. That’s noble of you. But remember, **sometimes people need to face the consequences of their actions**. You might have to balance being protective of him with making sure your mom is safe from further abuse. Your legal options are about setting boundaries and making sure you have the law on your side if things go south again.
Finally, talk to a lawyer who can guide you through this, especially considering your father’s age, health, and the suicide attempt. They can help you figure out how to file the complaint in a way that minimizes harm while still protecting your mom and yourself legally.
This is messy, no doubt, but you gotta make sure you’re protected legally so you don’t end up in a worse situation.
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PThe Domestic Violence Act has provisions for civil remedies such as protection orders or counselling. If you are filing a case directly in the court, you can seek these remedies rather asking the police to arrest him. Even if you file a complaint in the police station, they will not arrest him just like that. [https://divorcebylaw.com/domestic-violence-lawyer-in-bangalore-india/](https://divorcebylaw.com/domestic-violence-lawyer-in-bangalore-india/)
For 70 year old, it’s time he better learn how to respect others or to make his own chutney!
Attempting suicide after hitting someone is him being narcissist. you can get him evaluated for the same and treat him accordingly.
You must take your mother to the hospital whenever there is physical hurt, get her treated and ask them to file it as a Medico Legal Case. This can be used as evidence.
For further clarification, contact us [https://g.co/kgs/88uZtFD](https://g.co/kgs/88uZtFD)
**Disclaimer:** In the absence of all the facts of the case, the comments given may not be the best solution for your case. One on one consultation with a legal counsel/ advocate is advised to get better guidance.
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