- This topic has 21 replies, 7 voices, and was last updated 1 year, 2 months ago by
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LHello,
I want to end my 8-year marriage due to emotional abuse from my husband and his mother. We’ve been living separately for the past year. I plan to send a legal notice asking him to come for mutual separation.
My concerns are:
1. If he ignores the notice or refuses mutual consent, and I don’t file for contested divorce right away (even for a year), could that go against me legally? I don’t want to spend years fighting a contested case.
2. Has sending the first legal notice ever worked against someone in a similar situation? What should I be cautious about?
Any legal advice or personal experiences would be great.
Thank you.
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RThe best way to avoid time waste is hire a lawyer, get your lawyer to call him that you as his client want a mutual divorce. Given the fear of cases against men these days, he will say yes. Get your lawyer to get him a lawyer. Let those parties talk & get a date for filing. Go with your adhar cards etc whatever the lawyers tell you. After first motion, since you have been living separately, you can then ask your lawyer to file for waiving off cooling period, since you’ve been living separately. That’s it, you can get a second and final date to appear again. The judge just would want to make sure that you are sticking to your decision. They mostly ask women only: you want divorce? did you get streedhan back? anything pending? maintenance/alimony settled? And that’s it. Second motion will be final one. Sign and divorces. Decree will come later.
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PIf you don’t want any alimony or maintenance, file a contested divorce instead. As if he appears and ask for divorce then you can go for mutual at that time as well…
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DHi. I’m a Delhi based lawyer, with extensive experience in matrimonial disputes. Happy to discuss at length, but the key advise is that a mutual divorce is going to save everything valuable- time, money and peace. Sending a legal notice first doesn’t come to your advantage or disadvantage in any way, nor does not filing a contested petition, if he doesn’t respond to the notice.
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QLawyer from Hyderabad
You can send a legal notice. If he responds to your notice and comes with consent to divorce you. You and your husband can file a mutual divorce petition before the court and get a divorce order. Or else you have to file divorce case if your husband is not willing to give divorce. Either way you have file the petition. But first you have hire a lawyer and have discussion with your lawyer.
Please feel free to ping me if you have any further questions.
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NSend a legal notice for divorce through a lawyer asking for mutual divorce and to attend a meeting with your lawyer at a fixed date , failing which you will be constrained to file for divorce. If he doesn’t respond then file a contested divorce under cruelty ground. Once he is served with the petition he will have to come to court and at that time if he agrees you can convert your contested petition into a mutual petition. 6 months after filing the petition the divorce decree will be passed. Even if you file mutual divorce you normally need to wait for 6 months for the passing of the decree, unless you have some ground to waive the cooling off period.
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LI don’t want to go the contested way. Will it be an issue if I issue a notice first asking him to come for mutual separation and don’t contest further if he refuses?
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P1. Divorce notice is not a necessary step. It adds little more legal expense and also time. Because you have to give at least 15 days time for him to get back to you. Or he may ask some more time and so on. If you don’t have any other communication channel open, then send a legal notice asking for your husband to agree for mutual consent divorce. [https://divorcebylaw.com/is-it-mandatory-to-send-a-legal-notice-before-filing-a-divorce-case/](https://divorcebylaw.com/is-it-mandatory-to-send-a-legal-notice-before-filing-a-divorce-case/)
2. If he doesn’t respond to the legal notice or responds stating he’s not ready for Mutual Divorce, you can file the contested divorce case right away. Or you can file other cases, if you wish to file against him. His negative response or no response doesn’t block your legal path.
3. Sending a notice works for those couples, who are otherwise in a dilemma in understanding the other person’s intentions. At least this step starts the process for those who are already living separately for a long period of time. [https://divorcebylaw.com/mutual-divorce-lawyer-in-bengaluru/](https://divorcebylaw.com/mutual-divorce-lawyer-in-bengaluru/)
4. Filing a contested divorce doesn’t mean that it will take years to settle the case. As time goes, the circumstances change. In matrimonial cases, at any point of time, parties can ask for mediation to settle the issues between them. [https://divorcebylaw.com/best-contested-divorce-lawyers-in-bangalore/](https://divorcebylaw.com/best-contested-divorce-lawyers-in-bangalore/)
5. If you do not want to be blamed to start the divorce process or not sure what does your husband want, you can file Restitution of Conjugal Rights case where you are asking your husband to get back together. If he refuses, then you can ask for mutual consent divorce and go ahead. [https://divorcebylaw.com/restitution-of-conjugal-rights/](https://divorcebylaw.com/restitution-of-conjugal-rights/)
For further clarification consult us [https://g.co/kgs/ZHwbVjN](https://g.co/kgs/ZHwbVjN)
**Disclaimer:** In the absence of all the facts of the case, the comments given may not be the best solution for your case. One on one consultation with a legal counsel/ advocate is advised to get better guidance.
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L@compoteTraditional48 if I send a notice asking him to come for a mutual separation, he refuses and I leave it at that for a year without filing a contested case or any case at all against him, will that work against me ? Am I required by law to file a contested case or other cases within 15 days of sending him a notice?
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PLegal notice is sent through an advocate (lawyer), not through the court. Hence it is not strictly legally binding on either parties. But you have to adhere to the conditions that you put forth. However, you may have to be careful about the contents of it. If you are stating that ‘your husband must reply to you within 15 days with his acceptance or non-acceptance to go for mutual divorce case’, he would either reply or not. In case you have also mentioned that ‘if you don’t hear from him/ he refuses to agree for Mutual Divorce, you shall be compelled to file contested case’, then adhere to that. Why wouldn’t you do that, you’ve clearly mentioned that you don’t want to continue in the marriage?
If you are unable to ascertain his intent, you better go with RCR case to get an idea.
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LYes. I really want this to end and I’m sure of it. I’m hesitant to contest since some of my friends and relatives had a horrible experience going through contested cases that dragged for 7-9 years.
Not to demand too much from you, but is it ok to leave out the “respond within 15 days” clause in my notice? I want to send a notice since the other party is still under the impression that the issues can be resolved but the talks aren’t helping at all, basically going around in circles. I’m hoping a notice will make my stand clear to them and also serve as a nudge for them to come for a mutual separation.
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PYou ought to give some timeline for him to get back to you. If not 15 days, you can give 30 days or little more time. Otherwise you will be waiting forever.
Sending a notice would definitely state your intent.
Contested cases need not take 7-9 years if handled well. Since your husband is unwilling to go for divorce, it may take little longer for you to convince him to agree for Mutual Consent divorce as well
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