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UI’m 24M, and I’m disgusted as I write this. My 12-year-old niece (12F) is in a relationship with a 21-year-old guy (21M), and I feel sick to my stomach. It all started 4-5 months ago when my cousin (her mom) found out that my niece was texting him. He’s the relative of one of her friends. When my cousin found out, she punished her and went to the boy’s house to talk to his parents, explaining that he’s an adult and my niece is just 12. They promised it wouldn’t happen again, and we all thought everything was resolved.
Today, my cousin and her husband visited our home, and I wasn’t fully aware of the situation until now. My cousin shared that she’s still suspicious and caught my niece chatting with him again, this time through a hidden app. I figured out the password for the instagram and went through their messages, and what I saw completely shattered me. The innocent and loving image I had of my niece is gone. They met once in person, and there were explicit photos of them kissing. He’s an addict and a pervert who’s been grooming her—not blaming the boy alone, but he manipulated her into sending nudes, sharing porn, and even forcing her and emotionally manipulating her to send him money for alcohol. I literally lost it and vomited after seeing their sexting. As an adult, I would think twice before engaging in something like that, and she’s just 12.
I showed everything to my cousin and her husband, and I strongly urged them to take legal action because she’s a minor about to turn 13, and he’s 21.
I need advice on what we can do to bring this situation back to normal and what legal steps we can take. Any help or guidance would mean a lot right now and also which subs will be helpful if i post it there.
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CEveryone out here thinks filing an fir is the correct thing to do. Or atleast on theory every one is voting for it. everyone likes poetic justice as an observer.
How many are willing to agree for justice when they have been guilty or their loved ones, to say for sure if none of your loved ones has done something similar at some point of time to someone else. Would you still want to file a fir ?
I think, social awareness of what is happening is important to the boy and his family. Bring in people which have stead in society that can talk to the families about their child’s behaviour. Every reasonable person will not condone such an act. You mention he is an addict, create enough momentum that he recognises the fallout of his actions on himself and others.
If none of these do not gain traction, the legal route remains an option.
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UWtf is this is social awareness bs? His parents had the responsibility to make him aware. Not the victim’s family.
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CIsn’t that what is happening here enough people will encourage the OP to come on a consensus. Which in turn will encourage him to make a decision.
same thing, with the boy and his family.
One can be made to realise the error in their ways.
It’s not the OP’s job.The way one frames words is likely to induce similar reaction. if one thinks victim it’s output is justice.
If one thinks misguided it’s output is correction.To many irregularities here.
Advice given to go to the police to FIR to OP he is nowhere involved in this, we are giving legal advice because something is legally permissible.Let’s get off moral highground. Everyday you can go to the court file an PIL against the things that are wrong. Few do. Most talk on twitter/reddit about it.
Let’s see what happens when you do.
1. Trouble for the boy. Legally, criminally his family will most likely distance themselves from this child to save themselves. This boy child is alone.
2. Girl is going to be branded a victim forever, I’m not sure it’s anyone else’s prerogative to do that for her. Protecting her and doing justice for her are too very different things.
Something has happened to her, let her decide if she wants to make that her identity to the world. If the argument is she is only 12 she doesn’t know better. That’s a similar argument society had years ago to get people married off when they were younger because that collective society believed adults know better.
3. I don’t know how society improves through this.
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HPlease report this to the police ASAP. In India sexual offences against children is covered by Protection of Children from Sexual Offences Act, 2012 which is a very strict legislation meant for welfare and protection of children. Also, this act imposes strict liability on people who are aware of commission of any offence punishable under the Act to report it immediately. If you don’t report it and it comes to light later even you may face upto 6 months prison time and fine.
You can report it either to the special juvenile police unit or directly to the local police.
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Sclear case of grooming.
This will come under both POSCO and child pornography case.
Do ask your cousin to document all the evidence and consult a lawyer in filing a proper case. Name and shame the pervert who is preying on a child and ensure that her parents talk to her and explain her properly why these are all so very wrong.
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UBefore I say anything, I feel it is important to say that I have no training in this field.
Try to see that your niece and your cousin and potentially yourself get some therapy after what you discovered. This is damaging to each of you guys.
Pedophiles are great at manipulation. It may be good to help your niece to understand that she was being used for the perverts own benefit. If you choose to do this, I would suggest this being done in an environment with somebody trained with this type of trauma. So they will be able to understand the potential cues she has been giving.
An individual trained in these types of situations likely would be able to understand the types of manipulation that were being used used and help your niece understand.
I can tell you already have been, but continue to be there for your niece and your cousin.
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UTill she is a minor you are her legal guardian so even if she doesn’t listen to you she doesn’t have any other choice so be bindass and you can do either of the two things either you can file a case against that guy under there is one section of IPC I can’t remember but it has something to do with legal guardians like if someone is trying to do something against minor that is in offence and there are also other provisions which will work in your favour but you need to read IPC and or else you can give that guy warning that you are going to do something like this
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CEveryone seems to be giving good advice nothing much to add there but something for everyone to ponder upon:
– India needs to get better at social media and content platform management. It is appalling the kind of content that gets served. There is no boundaries on what is kids content and what is not. Movies, songs, dances everything gets watched by all. It is a dangerous environment for budding minds.-Parents need to have a very deliberate rules on device usage by kids. I see so many kids in India having free access to phones tabs non stop even if it is not their own. So many households do jot even probably know what they are doing on it. It is not hard to check what goes on those devices. Be vigilant not ‘coz you want to mistrust your child but you want to protect them.
I live outside of India and it is shocking toe how casual the attitude is for above two things in India. The future generation is at stake, please pay attention
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Usurely there has to be a regulation on social media and the type of content being fed to the public kids these days are watching splitsvilla roadies type shits instead of cartoon or doing any productive activity and peer pressure and fomo is also there like everyone of their classmates got smartphone and some are in relationship which they boast of and they dont realise what mistake they are doing which may turn their life to hell before maturity strikes them.
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UHey Lawyer here:
Most of them here have given you great suggestions but nonetheless ensure that you explain your niece the way she understands the entire situation and also gather every single piece of evidence before you speak to her so that she doesn’t delete anything in order to protect him. The next would be go to the police station where your niece resides and have a FIR registered. -
UYou have a watertight case.
Please don’t indulge people finding blame in the girl.
The girl is dumb, and young – the boy is a pervert and and a predator and he will have sexual relations (consensual or otherwise) with your niece if you don’t put a stop to this right away.
Action points –
(1) Compile all chats, texts, incidents into a Google doc/word file.
(2) Go to the nearest police station and tell them a minor is being forced to share explicit pics and is at danger of being sexually assaulted.
(3) They will register an FIR and/or complaint.
(4) Pocso website has a form to fill to raise a complaint where a child may be in danger of sexual assault.
(5) You need a lawyer, if you can’t afford one then the national commission for women will pay for one or get one of their empanelled lawyers to do it.
(6) This will be under POCSO which is very stringent and supportive of victims.Please note the following caveats –
(1) The cops and judges will be insensitive to you and your plight.
That is no excuse to let your niece remain in touch with this freak or risk a teenage pregnancy or being in such an obtuse relationship that her standard understanding relationship is ruined forever.
(2) The niece doesn’t seem to understand the gravity of the situation. That needs to be explained to her in a manner she can understand.As a man I urge you to please take appropriate action and I’m willing to help out in any way shape or form.
Please protect your niece. -
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PLegal Advice – Go to the jurisdictional police station, give a statement to the police (detailing all that you know). They will register a case under POCSO Act. If they don’t act immediately, go to Police Superintendent or Commissioner and complain about it. Do not delete the photos or messages until the disposal of the case. Even if your niece has willingly participated in the acts, she is a minor and will be considered as a victim.
Your niece needs counselling to come out of this. This will be very hard for her as she wouldn’t understand anything at this stage. Find a good counsellor and start the therapy.
If you need further assistance contact us [https://g.co/kgs/ZW11NKZ](https://g.co/kgs/ZW11NKZ)
**Disclaimer:** In the absence of all the facts of the case, the comments given may not be the best solution for your case. One on one consultation with a legal counsel/ advocate is advised to get better guidance.
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UIt was common in the schools I studied too. Though this age gap seems too much.
People in 8th -10th(age 12-13) standard generally date their own classmates..
A lot of girls date guys in the senior sections.
Girls in 11th -12th(age 14-17) frequently date college guys.
It is largely based on attractiveness and wealth.
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UUnder the POCSO Law it doesn’t matter if she’s involved/ consenting or who is blaming who.. any adult having sexual relations with a child under 18 is considered rape.. consent is irrelevant here. she’s a minor
it is punishable by law and you must report and get the police involved. you can also call the child helpline number 1098 and ask them what steps to take
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CYou know what to do. You have the evidences. Tell her parents to file an FIR. If they don’t, you do it, simply don’t delay reporting the crime. That guy is a certified pedophile and should be behind bars. POCSO is non bailable.
And your niece is nowhere at fault. She doesn’t have the maturity to understand that she is a victim. Don’t blame her, rather be supportive and try to make her understand what happened to her was not right and she is safe. However, I implore you to file a police report against the guy without any delay.
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LGet her to a therapist. He’s probably convinced her that you guys don’t understand and are driving them apart or whatever and he’s the only one who cares. Also just speaking to him and his parents clearly hasn’t helped, don’t let them off with a warning this time. It’s not even that he’s just continued talking to her, it’s far past all that. Take legal action. Involve the police, make sure he doesn’t have a chance to leak any sensitive images.
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