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UMy mother’s younger sister’s husband, whom I was quite attached to when I was a kid, molested me in unimaginable ways. When I stayed at my grandparents house, I used to wake up in the middle of the night, cause I would find him on top of me. I was 10-13 back then. He used to knead my breasts like dough, and mostly when I was asleep or half asleep. Whenever he used to take me in his car, he would try to put his hands up my skirt or similar stuff. After a point there was a lot of butt grabbing when I was a teen. Like, it was a lot. He used to kiss my face and smell my hair and grab my butt. I also have experiences of him grinding his private parts up against my back and my shoulders.
The thing is, he is extremely loved by all and all my family members and family friends think he’s awesome and so funny and he’s everyone’s favourite. They love being in his presence. I hate it because only I know all the disgusting things he’s capable of. I’m getting married this year to the love of my life 25M, but I’m scared to tell him cause he likes my uncle too.
I never knew it was a bad thing until I was about 9 or 10 and I got too scared to tell anyone cause him and my aunt were already having issues and I didn’t want them to get divorced.
My parents and I are extremely close, and though I disclosed this to my mom when I was 15, I don’t know how to tell my dad cause I know he will break his bones and beat him up. My dad is never violent, but I know that his huge love for me will make him do this.
I’m 24 now and I was a minor back then when all this was happening. And obviously there’s no evidence other than my memory and the trauma I have from it. How can I file a case or a complaint and how will the law proceed with this? Please let me know. Small or big points, it can really help me out.
I will admit that I’m very scared and I don’t know how to proceed. My aunt, his wife, is a lovely lady, she he no idea about all of this. I don’t want her or my cousins 17F, 14F to face the consequences that he needs to pay for. But at the same time, I’m not able to keep this within me.
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BLawyer here. Let me give you a very practical advice – Don’t. Don’t do anything about it, don’t tell anyone or try lodging a complaint. This would cause you way more damage than what you’ve already been through. The most you could do is to confront your uncle and keep a check on him that he isn’t soliciting any other kids. Even legally, your complaint won’t survive and morally, you should go ahead with your life and don’t look back.
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BKya chutiya lawyer ho tum
Pls give back ur degreeYou are telling her NOT TO TELL ANYONE??
Not even family who will be more conscious then? Why ? To keep peace? To keep the illusion that everything is fine?Gtfo man
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BI can tell that you are definitely not a lawyer since you’re evidently being carried away by your emotions. Lawyers aren’t supposed to do that. A lawyer’s job is to advise anyone who may seek it, the rest depends on the seeker if they choose to follow or not to. As I said, I was being practical after having seen quite a fair bit of things, which you wouldn’t want to.
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UI don’t know about the legal practicalities, for which you may be right as a lawyer. But morally, reporting him is the best thing to do. Is your advice really not to tell anyone? This is how abusers get away with things.
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CYeah, unfortunately, most of these get swept under the carpet and never looked at again.
OP, I would advise you to do what you feel is right and even though it will likely affect family relations and all that, it’s better to get it off your chest. There is no justification for what you’ve suffered.
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BA lawyer always seeks to minimise the damage. Sometimes inaction is the best possible choice we have.
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SThis is a legal aid sub. Keep your morality outside the door please. The only points discussed here are the legality of the case. There are many subs where this OP can and will post to get sympathy and help to deal with her trauma.
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BListen sweets
First of all You need to talk to someone
You cannot move on keeping this in
Fck keeping peace in the family when u yourself are not at peaceYou can file a case but unfortunately it will not go anyway forward
But what u can try is CONFRONT him with a Recording on
And with texts tooHe’ll probably deny but if there is confession of guilt and apology that should atleast be something
If still nothing happens
You’ll have to choose between keeping peace
Or
Telling ppl bout itThis will definitely cause alot of drama
May I suggest u start with the closest ppl like your sister/sibling , your fiancee
Starting with you dont want him to come to your wedding etcWishing u all the best
Take careI hope you heal
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UNAL As others have mentioned, filing a complaint probably won’t lead anywhere and you’ll be ostracised by part of the family. But that doesn’t mean you need to let him off. What you need are allies. Confide in those you trust. Your father. Your fiance. Maybe siblings and cousins. Next confront your Uncle alone while secretly recording him. He will probably deny any allegations since there isn’t any proof. But in the small chance he says stuff corroborating your story, you’ll be able to get the rest of the family in your side. This recording will probably still not hold any weight in a court of law. However, he won’t be able to walk in the open ever again. Another thing you can do is ask your younger cousins regarding their experience of being alone with him. Have they ever been touched inappropriately or anything.
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UI’m not a lawyer, but I’m truly sorry you had to endure this. As a parent to a daughter around the same age, just thinking about this situation makes my blood boil. It’s clear he is a pedophile.
Unfortunately, these cases can often drag on in court, especially if there’s limited evidence, and they may not always lead to a resolution. However, his behaviour suggests he could be preying on other children if given the opportunity.
This is where you might be able to take action – by being vigilant and gathering evidence if he tries to harm anyone else. Reporting any suspicions and sharing your story could help protect others and build a case that ensures justice is served.
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DI too faced something similar but sadly my father didnt care. I thought hee would go break bone or something but nop. He just didnt care. He now acts like nothing like that ever happened to me. I really wished he had talked to me with love after i told him this but no. He just doesn’t care. Didnt even bother to find the guy. Didnt even bother to ask me if it happened recurrently. (The person was someone from school). Now it makes sense why i hate his presence. We just got to protect ourselves in this cruel world.
Hope u figure out something op. I dont know what to say. sorry for the rant.
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U1) Don’t confront him, he will play dumb
2) Act like you enjoyed those days and miss them now. Flirt with him. Remind him of all the inappropriate things he would do and how hot they were. He will fall into the trap and talk about them openly. Record this. conversation.
3) If step 2 was successful, expose him to family, friends, colleagues, And every person who knows him. If step 2 doesn’t work, please still do the same. Humans can smell lies and honesty, everyone will still see the truth about him in their heart irrespective of what their public stance will be. -
UHow’s suddenly uncles harassing women when they were minors becoming a popular topic. Makes me doubt the legitimacy of it with all the false cases on the rise.
To any feminazi about to say “this is why women don’t come forward”, respectfully, develop critical thinking, your stance will change instantly if your loved ones are ever stuck in a situation of being falsely accused (goodness forbid). Hear both sides of the story if you can or stay sceptical, giving the benefit of doubt when deserving.
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UI refuse to believe you’re saying this. You can check my history and you will know that this is my only post. And this trauma and heartbreak I’ve been carrying since I was literally 3 years old, cannot be reduced down to a false accusation. And honestly, I’m not the kind of girl who speaks out, and I’m an introvert.
It took immense guts on my side to even post this. I had so many triggers while typing this out yesterday and it shatters me that you would say this
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ULike I already said, I’m not at all discounting your sufferings. I’m only being sceptical as I’ve seen such claims be made for the wrong reasons. I’ve also been put in a very uncomfortable situation by one of my uncles when I was a minor but thankfully I was old enough to recognise what was happening and never let it happen again so I’m definitely not dismissing you on whatever you’ve said. I’m only being doubtful and you can’t blame me or anybody for that with the kind of things happening lately. I genuinely hope that you’re able to take action against him if you’ve had to go through this and I’m also really sorry that you were in this position.
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IBecause it’s effing common? I had a neighbourhood uncle molesting me when I was 11, thankfully I told my parents (even though i didn’t know what exactly he was trying to do) and my father beat the crap out of him. Our neighborhood ostracized him.
Note that police was not involved. Stuff like this doesn’t always come out in the open because people fear ‘samaj’ and ‘future prospects’ of their daughters. So it’s either hushed up or people make their own justice.Most cases of assault and harassment faced by women is from their own family/ acquaintances. Source –
https://rainn.org/statistics/perpetrators-sexual-violenceAnd I see far too many posts of false DV and dowry cases on this sub (which i ofc don’t judge because that’s a real issue too). But you only question the legitimacy of these posts, don’t you?
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U>But you only question the legitimacy of these posts, don’t you?
Bold assumption but unfortunately for you, you’re wrong. I question everything, especially cases claiming rape, harrasment, molestation, dowry, and section 69, yes these are women exclusive cuz Indian laws are extremely pro-women while there’s barely any law that protects a man, and women are very actively misusing that. So I’m not wrong in having doubts and questioning things, it’s called using your brain instead of being a blind believer.
And in this case, I never dismissed her claim as this is, like you said too, pretty common, I’ve been a victim too when I was a minor but thankfully it was nothing very adverse and I was old enough to understand what was going on and prevent it from happening again.
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IAnd yet your comment history has none of those ‘critical thinking’ comments on other posts of this sub, do they?
You are , in your own words ‘questioning the legitimacy’ of only this particular post.
And no, you don’t get to give the excuse if DV or Dowry laws here. To prove a charge of molestation, that too several years ago is very difficult and it’s not where in the same ballpark in legal terrorism as the false cases we normally see. You see even actual lawyers here telling that it’s not practical, even if true.If your response is questioning only female victims of sexual harrassment and assault, something India has become infamous for, the you are not ‘using your brain’ you are just being a pick-me girl to feel special ✨
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USuch irony, if a person is defensive over a woman that’s gritty and powerful but the moment you do the same for men then you’re “victim blaming” and “being a pickme” 😂. I’m past that stage sis, I’ve seen the way men are violated shamelessly without them having any resource to protect themselves, also counting in the social stigma of how a woman can’t violate a man (not denying the stigma of women needing to stay silent to “protect their dignity”but that’s a whole other convo). My own man has been subjected to some horrendous acts in the past that he could do nothing about giving me more of a reason to be vigilant in these cases and question it as much as I wish to if it’s something worth doubting.
The only reason I made my original comment under this post is because of repeated uncle harrasment posts I came across, would make anybody who thinks a little question it.
>You are , in your own words ‘questioning the legitimacy’ of only this particular post.
>If your response is questioning only female victims of sexual harrassment and assault, something India has become infamous for,
Quit strawmanning me, if you’re going to claim stuff at least stick to my original points. Also in that regard, India is internationally infamous for being unhygienic and stinky – you see how absurd that sounds in **this** argument
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>And yet your comment history has none of those ‘critical thinking’ comments on other posts of this sub, do they?
They do
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I‘Makes me doubt the legitimacy of it with all the false cases on the rise. ‘
Quoting your exact words is strawmanning?
You bring whatabouttery to a post about a woman being violated, you question the legitimacy of a post only when a woman is a victim and the conclusion you draw from this post is the woman is ‘gritty and powerful’.
And then your only excuse for this is that ‘my man has been subjected to this’.You are the definition of a pickme, girl. You think that men and your man will like you more for it but you just out yourself as been tone deaf and socially unaware. And yes, India’s hygiene standards are low, along with very low standards of women’s safety. What’s your point? Did you ever pass your social science classes or even read news beyond reddit rants?
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UYou are on a different level 🤣🤣
>and the conclusion you draw from this post is the woman is ‘gritty and powerful’.
?? Do you have a hard time understanding well framed sentences, can you even read beyond what you want to read?
>And then your only excuse for this is that ‘my man has been subjected to this’.
Huh?? Bro what? How’s that an “excuse” in the first place? You see the hypocrisy? Oh right your brain’s too smooth for that. No wonder you skipped past every other point I made.
>You are the definition of a pickme, girl. You think that men and your man will like you more for it but you just out yourself as been tone deaf and socially unaware.
Mix in some very typical feministic argument lines with two original words and VOILA! you have the perfect “counter argument” 🤡
I’m done bro, can’t argue with clowns
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I‘if a person is defensive over a woman that’s gritty and powerful ‘
You mean to say women are ‘gritty and powerful’ in all cases, including this, both socially and legally? Coz that’s what this kind of generic statement means. And that also means you are uneducated in terms of knowing anything about Indian society.‘Bro what? How’s that an “excuse” in the first place?’ That’s like the only defense you brought for why you are the way you are. Ofc that’s what in english we term as excuse and whatabouttery.
I’m not a feminazi for pointing this out. I’m simply not blind, unlike you. And I cannot imagine someone being sceptic only when the victim if their own sex, unless the goal is male attention and validation.
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U>unless the goal is male attention and validation.
Why, is it in your nature to do the same especially even when you have a boyfriend? Like you said here too, I quote –
>You think that men and your man will like you more for itYou seem to be coming back to this point like deceit is natural to you but I assure you that I’ve been with my boyfriend for years enough to not need to rely on tricks to make him like me “more”, he’s here cuz he likes me (mind blowing right?) and I like him enough to not indulge in male attention. It’s simply called having an opinion which won’t always align with yours.
As for the rest of it, I’m not gonna spend anymore energy into showing how you’ve twisted my words
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IRead what I wrote, slowly. I’m not the one pointing fingers at only women and crying about how women are harassing men in a post where a girl is talking about her own sexual abuse. How are my comments catering to male attention then? You, on the other case…
Logic and social awareness seem foreign to you, so good luck for your life ahead and hope you take some steps to learn them.
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BCoz its very common
Your response tells you are a man
There is NO female in india who hasn’t once felt uncomfortable by males, be it the uncomfortable stare or touchPlease have a sit down talk with your mother and female relatives once in your life
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U>There is NO female in india who hasn’t once felt uncomfortable by males, be it the uncomfortable stare or touch
What are you on about? That’s literally not even the point here.
And I’m a woman, like you’ve already realised through my other comments. Anyway there’s no point in arguing with people who distort original statements to make their “point”
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