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RTLDR: My SIL and her family are troubling my parents & brother. Need legal help.
My brother got married (arranged marriage) in 2022, and my SIL has constantly been troubling him. She had a lot of health problems that the family had hidden before the wedding. She had some serious health issues that her family had probably neglected throughout her life. But after the wedding, my father paid for all her treatments (as is expected from the husband’s side). However, she claimed that all the health problems that she has had started after the marriage. But my family surely gave her the benefit of the doubt. Next year, they had a daughter (which was another challenging thing for the doctors). Her gynaecologist told my brother that she has a few genetic conditions that could affect the child, so she was kept under observation.
However, the doctor gave the green light, and I have a beautiful and healthy niece. But even during the delivery process, my SIL (thought on the hospital bed) started with false allegations against my mother and brother, saying that they mistreat her. My SIL’s mother is a true vamp-ish mother like the ones you see on television. Her mother is ruining her home. My SIL is not realising it. My mother has tried solving their issues, but she (mother) doesn’t want to interfere much.
Every time my SIL visits her home, she comes to my brother complaining and creating unnecessary drama around how my mother mistreats her. My parents live separately in a different state. They visit them once in a while to help my SIL with the baby. But we believe that my SIL is trying to capture the house. Meanwhile, SIL’s mother also tries to sabotage the family and disrespects my Brother every now & then. My brother doesn’t speak much. He is reserved, and since childhood, he has never complained about anything. All this was observed by my parents, and they do not like it.
My parents are scared that she will put false charges against my family. I got married a year before them, and I have been visiting them for merely 5-6 days once a year, as I live far. But my mother is scared that SIL and her family can harm me and my husband’s reputation.
My SIL doesn’t work, but she keeps on demanding things beyond my brother’s financial capacities. Her family keeps on interfering and provoking her against my family. My father has to help him every time such dramas start, and he has to interfere. My parents simply want to live their retired life in peace.
If my niece were not involved, my parents would have helped my brother and got them separated because these unnecessary dramas, fights and disrespect are affecting my brother’s health and work.
Is there anyone in this sub who can help us out? Any leads? Any lawyer details? Any suggestions? Any opinion?
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BLawyer myself based in Delhi. The unfortunate situation which you are experiencing is not uncommon. It all comes down to how do you wish to settle the differences. The settlement could be as simple as counselling or a much more drawn out process such as a divorce decree through intervention of courts.
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RBut what if my SIL & her family take counselling in a wrong way? They are not as educated as my family and not even close to our financial status. This is why my parents are afraid that they might lose things if her family suggests her divorcing my brother.
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RAsk your parents to try sort things out by bringing In a Mediator from the family . If it dosen’t goes well then obviously you need to. Consult a lawyer and get him out of that toxic relationship
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DAlso, the situation doesn’t seem to be as complicated as is being made due to the toxicity of your SIL’s family. Things get sorted where some positivity exists, but in situations like these, honestly it’s hard. But since it makes all the sense to make every effort to save a marriage before calling it off, especially where a child is involved, you must do that. Else, dissolution of the marriage is the only way out. But since your SIL isn’t work and they have a child, your brother will be liable to pay maintenance to them, from soon after the petition is filed.
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SYou forgot to mention the main thing here. What does SIL’s father do and if he is in their life. Most issues stem from kids being raised by toxic parents or no parents so all they learn is to complain on other people and keep demanding things.
This behavior is a veil to their own shortcomings and time and again I have seen this happening in relationships even non matrimonial ones.
It’s really up to your brother. Is he not a tough guy ?
Sorry for your troubles – I have mostly given up myself saving other weak people in family, people sometimes need such drama to be engaged into something and pass life since they don’t have a meaningful goal in their own life. This applies to all people be it right or wrong. We should encourage family members to give up such persistent drama and move on.
I did it myself so it was painful in the beginning but I got over it.
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RSIL’s father is into Notary (or something related to law). Initially they were really sweet to my parents. But on the wedding day SIL’s mother started indirectly disrespecting my mother. She would ignore or just simply give back answers to a simple question related to the rituals. Same with her sister. Sil’s sister disrespected my aunt too. But my aunt defended her.
Sil once told my mother how her father used to stay outdoors since her mother always picked up fights for petty things.
I wouldn’t consider my sil as a cunning woman but she kind of behaves like a bipolar person. We are not sure of they would take ‘counselling’ in the right way. They would probably make it a big deal by comparing it with a mental disorder.
My SIL is sabotaging her house because of her parents which is wrong. And about my brother, he is afraid too of all the things happening these days regarding fake cases on men. There was no dowry involved but we know how things are these days.
I am married too and i know how much i can get my parents involved in my personal matter. My MIL too can be a pain sometimes, but my mother never interferes. And its not because i have asked her too, but she knows that her involvement can ruin my relationship with my husband. But i guess SIL hasn’t realised this.
If all these things keep on happening, i am afraid what will happen to my brother and parents.
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SI would go full throttle on petty attacks on your SIL and see how she reacts. She will either understand the game and stopped doing what she is doing OR she will leave. Like I said either way – You guys will get permanent relief.
Chant Hanuman Chalisa non-stop if you are Hindu.
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RWell, that’s what my mother and I discussed today. My brother will have to take his stand. He has been quite and listened to everything sil says.
But yeah, at the end of the day Bajrangbali hi bachaenge😅
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SBring her mother into petty attacks and immediately call her father to report her behaviour. Do it in odd hours like midnight. Samajh aayega unko
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