My dad and my granny used the R word on my mom

Community Forums Legal Advice India My dad and my granny used the R word on my mom

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    • #1553 Reply
      Happydude1306
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        Happydude1306
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        May 6, 2025 at 6:46 am

        Things were really tensed back at home…my mom left the wannabe pious, traditional, housewife cover and got her gym with her friends..

        So basically, my granny wanted a maid, not a daughter in law… whenever any argument appears, she never forgets this one line to use to her son, my dad , ‘ i told you not to marry a delhi woman, now suffer and make us suffer”

        My mom practically gave her corporate job, her friends, her family for my dad just to be his housewife…waking up early, getting my granny, her ginger tea,..prepare breakfast for everyone… although a maid is there for cleaning but utensils are always on my mom’s work list…

        So past few months, my mum left this cover and got her own gym..her friend is a trainer in her gym so it’s good…my uncle and mum’s friends , helped my mom to get funds for the gym but it’s booming…due to god’s grace .

        Coming to the point, my granny never left any chance to throw tantrums…name it, if the tea is not boiling hot, she starts shouting…if the chapati is overbaked, (just a little) she taunts her….because of her stupidity, my dad just watches the show..

        I remember that when my grandfather passed, my mom’s parents decided to arrange for the funeral, and they did everything buy forgot to buy the flower garland for the photo…now get this very closely..
        My maternal grandparents paid for everything…from funeral to tickets to up for ashes pouring in the river..
        But for a mere garland, my granny made my mom apologise to everyone in her stupid family with her joined hands…

        Anyways, that’s the past but it’s very painful for her…
        So weeks ago, my dad threatened my mom for a divorce since she was living with her friend… actually, her partner…(It’s time I don’t use the safe words)
        and she threatened to file an fir against my granny for mental torture and against my dad for supporting her…
        And my maternal grandparents are complaining that fights are common in marriages but i really hope they get the big picture

        The divorce is finalized but my granny has spread the word that my mom is R in the whole colony…and the words are even worse..

        But I am happy…. atleast she is getting out of the hellhole where she spent more than a decade of her life…

        Hmm, just one request..if you guys can help me to pin point more points regarding the fir, it’d be good…just to be cautious

      • #1572 Reply
        Bravenupur8528
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          Bravenupur8528
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          May 6, 2025 at 7:07 am
          NAL, Saw this post on r/twoXindia.

          I posted a query but because I am a male, my comments dont show. So my question is,

          This ‘staying with a friend’, was this before marriage or just recently?

          • #1592 Reply
            Alphadude9423
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              Alphadude9423
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              May 6, 2025 at 7:15 am
              Based on this, I’ll assume OP is a girl. But still she’ll have to “man up” of sorts and pick a side, and fight the other one (I assume she’ll pick her mom’s side).

              And yeah, you’ve raised a great question. Is there an extramarital affair involved?

              • #1605 Reply
                Happydude1306
                Participant
                  H
                  Happydude1306
                  OP
                  May 6, 2025 at 8:06 am
                  Obviously I’ll pick my mom… I’ve seen how my dad stays mum when dadi slurs her out…

                  And about the affair..I can’t say..but she did moved with him at his house recently..

                  He is a trainer in her gym !!

                  • #1612 Reply
                    Mihirpanther163
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                      Mihirpanther163
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                      May 6, 2025 at 10:40 am
                      That’s typical of the rich women to crave young flesh. Not that there’s anything wrong. People want it but the social norms of the day frown upon it. Also, it is irresponsible of her to do that to the family name. Get a divorce and shack up with whoever you want. Glad that you have chosen a side because looks like you have absolute shit parents on both sides

                    • #1611 Reply
                      Primedude3191
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                        Primedude3191
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                        May 6, 2025 at 2:16 pm
                        Wtf.. i thought she was living with a female friend and you said “partner” bcz she supported her with the gym.

                        • #1616 Reply
                          Bravenupur8528
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                            Bravenupur8528
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                            May 6, 2025 at 3:54 pm
                            Hey Someone deleted the comment you referred to. If you remember what they said, could you please share?

                            • #1619 Reply
                              Alphadude9423
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                                Alphadude9423
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                                May 6, 2025 at 7:36 pm
                                OP’s mom has moved in with the said “partner” despite being married still

                      • #1591 Reply
                        Happydude1306
                        Participant
                          H
                          Happydude1306
                          OP
                          May 6, 2025 at 8:04 am
                          Just recently .when things turned ugly…very ugly…so she moved out…

                      • #1571 Reply
                        Jyotishark377
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                          J
                          Jyotishark377
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                          May 6, 2025 at 8:39 am
                          No matter what, your mother should divorce her husband before going to another man.

                          • #1590 Reply
                            Fierceshark5092
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                              Fierceshark5092
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                              May 6, 2025 at 9:05 am
                              Facts

                            • #1589 Reply
                              Brightdude8582
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                                Brightdude8582
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                                May 6, 2025 at 9:24 am
                                Legally she has rights to get trained by trainer while in marriage, but morally she gotta divorce first.

                              • #1588 Reply
                                Luckyvimal1501
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                                  Luckyvimal1501
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                                  May 7, 2025 at 2:22 am
                                  She fkd him for sure

                                • #1587 Reply
                                  Happydude1306
                                  Participant
                                    H
                                    Happydude1306
                                    OP
                                    May 7, 2025 at 3:53 am
                                    I cannot say for sure if she was cheating or not..coz I never thought of that specific word !!

                                  • #1586 Reply
                                    Happydude1306
                                    Participant
                                      H
                                      Happydude1306
                                      OP
                                      May 7, 2025 at 4:11 am
                                      I cannot say for sure if she was cheating or not..coz I never thought of that specific word !!

                                  • #1570 Reply
                                    Fierceshark5092
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                                      Fierceshark5092
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                                      May 6, 2025 at 9:06 am
                                      While being married to a guy, living with another person is not right anyways

                                      • #1585 Reply
                                        Kavitabro666
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                                          K
                                          Kavitabro666
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                                          May 6, 2025 at 9:22 am
                                          granny why are you here

                                          • #1603 Reply
                                            Fierceshark5092
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                                              Fierceshark5092
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                                              May 6, 2025 at 9:24 am
                                              Your parents fight and your granny supports your dad,l then your mom goes off living with another guy, would it be right or wrong

                                          • #1584 Reply
                                            Happydude1306
                                            Participant
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                                              Happydude1306
                                              OP
                                              May 7, 2025 at 4:16 am
                                              I cannot say for sure if she was cheating or not..coz I never thought of that specific word !!

                                              • #1602 Reply
                                                Fierceshark5092
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                                                  Fierceshark5092
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                                                  May 8, 2025 at 5:17 am
                                                  sorry behen, too much delusion here, im out

                                            • #1569 Reply
                                              Brightdude8582
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                                                Brightdude8582
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                                                May 6, 2025 at 9:15 am
                                                Legally she has rights to get trained by trainer while in marriage, but morally she gotta divorce first.

                                              • #1568 Reply
                                                Swiftravi8528
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                                                  Swiftravi8528
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                                                  May 6, 2025 at 9:25 am
                                                  Came here from r/AskIndianMen , I do not doubt for a moment that your paternal family is very toxic and has a lot of issues but if there’s a chance that your mom was cheating on your dad whilst not divorced, that’d turn messy in court. Plus that’s not very ethical. Neither is what your dad/dadi did.

                                                  • #1583 Reply
                                                    Luckyvimal1501
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                                                      Luckyvimal1501
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                                                      May 7, 2025 at 2:22 am
                                                      Chill…what woman says is final truth in indian court

                                                    • #1582 Reply
                                                      Happydude1306
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                                                        Happydude1306
                                                        OP
                                                        May 7, 2025 at 3:47 am
                                                        No, no…you got it wrong…
                                                        She didn’t cheated !! She was just living with her friend temporarily…

                                                        And I will be very honest ..I do not know if she was cheating or not…I cannot say for sure

                                                        • #1601 Reply
                                                          Swiftravi8528
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                                                            Swiftravi8528
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                                                            May 7, 2025 at 5:27 am
                                                            Exactly. Can’t tell for sure and when a man and woman live together in such stressful situations, cheating could be a possibility. Your mum may have found solace in him.

                                                      • #1567 Reply
                                                        Vaishnavifalcon894
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                                                          Vaishnavifalcon894
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                                                          May 6, 2025 at 10:11 am
                                                          Oh well, kuchh bolunga to vivad ho jaega lol

                                                          • #1581 Reply
                                                            Bravenupur8528
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                                                              Bravenupur8528
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                                                              May 6, 2025 at 4:51 pm
                                                              Vivaad nahi downvote hojayega LoL

                                                          • #1566 Reply
                                                            Mihirpanther163
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                                                              Mihirpanther163
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                                                              May 6, 2025 at 10:38 am
                                                              Your mom jumped the gun on living with her partner while actually being married. No judgements there. She should do what’s good for her but the society is built with the fabric of control. People will not let go of the idea that someone is having fun sex outside their marriage. The R word will not die out easily. Just give it time and stop giving a fuck about these people.

                                                              • #1580 Reply
                                                                Bravefalcon6905
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                                                                  Bravefalcon6905
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                                                                  May 6, 2025 at 9:26 pm
                                                                  Why no judgement? Isn’t that an affair?

                                                                  • #1600 Reply
                                                                    Mihirpanther163
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                                                                      Mihirpanther163
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                                                                      May 6, 2025 at 11:56 pm
                                                                      It is. But who are you to judge? You are neither of the invested parties. So how can you judge when you don’t even know if it was warranted.

                                                                      Maybe this narrative isn’t true or maybe it is. Eitherways, you are Noone to judge. Trying to be happy has to be a lesser sin than wasting life in a sad unfulfilling present or a torturous past.

                                                                      • #1609 Reply
                                                                        Epicsushant9462
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                                                                          Epicsushant9462
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                                                                          May 7, 2025 at 3:20 am
                                                                          Who are we to judge? We exist, hence we judge. Who are you to question our judging, or why we judge? If you can say we shouldn’t judge, we very well can.

                                                                          Your position that we are not in a position to judge is in itself a form of moral policing and judgement.

                                                                          • #1614 Reply
                                                                            Mihirpanther163
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                                                                              Mihirpanther163
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                                                                              May 7, 2025 at 4:18 am
                                                                              It is the strangest comment. You are saying that the everyone and everybody should be subject to the scrutiny and judgment of the society and anyone who questions THAT is moral policing? 😂😂😂😂

                                                                              It’s always a 100% opposite of that. The desire to be able to poke your nose in everyone business is the very definition of the scum of society.

                                                                              Me asking for people to not judge is actually a biblical – “Judge not, that ye be not judged.”. We’ll let you prevail over Jesus.

                                                                    • #1565 Reply
                                                                      Wiserutuja4116
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                                                                        Wiserutuja4116
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                                                                        May 6, 2025 at 11:18 am
                                                                        She soon will see what play stupid games win stupid prizes means, she should have divorced and what surety is there that the gym trainer is gonna take care of your mom lol.

                                                                      • #1564 Reply
                                                                        Desininja6219
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                                                                          Desininja6219
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                                                                          May 6, 2025 at 11:47 am
                                                                          More than a decade… You must be 8-9 ?

                                                                          • #1579 Reply
                                                                            Happydude1306
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                                                                              Happydude1306
                                                                              OP
                                                                              May 7, 2025 at 3:46 am
                                                                              I was around 9 or 10…I remember the yelling…not exact words but i remember the yelling..

                                                                              Not everyday but often 2 to 3 days..

                                                                              • #1599 Reply
                                                                                Desisuresh7204
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                                                                                  Desisuresh7204
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                                                                                  May 7, 2025 at 10:02 am
                                                                                  Thank you for supporting your mom. Best wishes for the future.

                                                                            • #1563 Reply
                                                                              Lokeshguru923
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                                                                                Lokeshguru923
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                                                                                May 6, 2025 at 12:13 pm
                                                                                Marriage is a redundant institution now. Its good for nobody.

                                                                              • #1562 Reply
                                                                                Expertfox3630
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                                                                                  Expertfox3630
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                                                                                  May 6, 2025 at 12:14 pm
                                                                                  Basically your mom left your father, having extra martial affair with other person, living with them while still legally married to your father, alienating you from your father and making you glorify her mistakes, the “R” Word pretty much sums up what your mother is

                                                                                  • #1578 Reply
                                                                                    Bravenupur8528
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                                                                                      Bravenupur8528
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                                                                                      May 6, 2025 at 4:01 pm
                                                                                      Haha ik right. You should go see what the FemiNazis said in r/TwoXIndia, where this post originally came from.

                                                                                      I was only one who questioned this ‘living with friend’ aspect, but alas I’m a male and hence my comments are always hidden. I only got to know recently.

                                                                                      • #1598 Reply
                                                                                        Happydude1306
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                                                                                          Happydude1306
                                                                                          OP
                                                                                          May 7, 2025 at 4:16 am
                                                                                          Nope…why would your comment be hidden ?
                                                                                          Living with a friend was indeed the line I used coz she did that ! It was a male friend..

                                                                                          But I am not trying to get sympathy nor am I shedding a good light on my mom…I never knew if they had an affair or not ..

                                                                                          This is because I cannot say that for sure…but sure .

                                                                                          I will be truthful sir ..like i said before ..
                                                                                          Thank you

                                                                                        • #1597 Reply
                                                                                          Swiftbro1162
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                                                                                            Swiftbro1162
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                                                                                            May 8, 2025 at 1:17 am
                                                                                            Your post/comment has been removed due to harassment or personal attacks, violating Rule 7. Please maintain a respectful and civil tone when participating.

                                                                                            If you have questions about this removal, please [contact the moderators](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/LegalAdviceIndia).

                                                                                        • #1577 Reply
                                                                                          Happydude1306
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                                                                                            Happydude1306
                                                                                            OP
                                                                                            May 7, 2025 at 4:13 am
                                                                                            I cannot say for sure if she was cheating or not..coz I never thought of that specific word !!
                                                                                            Nor were the vibes of that scene !! But like i said, I cannot say with confidence

                                                                                            • #1596 Reply
                                                                                              Expertfox3630
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                                                                                                Expertfox3630
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                                                                                                May 7, 2025 at 5:43 am
                                                                                                Hope after your father escapes from the relationship with your toxic cheater mother her “male best friend, partner in bed, partner in gym” Also leaves her.

                                                                                                Your mother will be a great inspiration for you, judging by your current way of glorifying her deeds.

                                                                                                when you get married invite me, I will gift you a blue drum and 3 sacks of cement for your husband myself.

                                                                                                • #1608 Reply
                                                                                                  Swiftbro1162
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                                                                                                    May 8, 2025 at 1:18 am
                                                                                                    Your post/comment has been removed as it breaks r/LegalAdviceIndia’s rules.

                                                                                                    Any kind of personal attacks are not tolerated in r/LegalAdviceIndia. Make your point calmly and always remember the human. If you find a comment or post against our rules, report the post instead of engaging with it.

                                                                                              • #1576 Reply
                                                                                                Swiftbro1162
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                                                                                                  Swiftbro1162
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                                                                                                  May 8, 2025 at 1:16 am
                                                                                                  Your post/comment has been removed as it breaks r/LegalAdviceIndia’s rules.

                                                                                                  Any kind of personal attacks are not tolerated in r/LegalAdviceIndia. Make your point calmly and always remember the human. If you find a comment or post against our rules, report the post instead of engaging with it.

                                                                                              • #1561 Reply
                                                                                                Coolninja2628
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                                                                                                  Coolninja2628
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                                                                                                  May 6, 2025 at 2:36 pm
                                                                                                  You’re delusional, kid.

                                                                                                  • #1575 Reply
                                                                                                    Bravenupur8528
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                                                                                                      Bravenupur8528
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                                                                                                      May 6, 2025 at 4:53 pm
                                                                                                      Truly haha

                                                                                                  • #1560 Reply
                                                                                                    Bravedevika6376
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                                                                                                      Bravedevika6376
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                                                                                                      May 6, 2025 at 3:36 pm
                                                                                                      Jate jate Baal khich ke nikalne buddhi ko aur colony me Sara sach bata dena ek ek karke.

                                                                                                      • #1574 Reply
                                                                                                        Bravenupur8528
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                                                                                                          Bravenupur8528
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                                                                                                          May 6, 2025 at 4:53 pm
                                                                                                          >colony mein Sara sach bata dena ek ek karke.

                                                                                                          Sara sach – that her mom is a wh0re/cougar for having s*x and living with a younger man WHILE still being married to someone else?

                                                                                                          Nah, I don’t think OP nor her mother has enough balls to do that. Even here its all sugar coated.

                                                                                                          • #1595 Reply
                                                                                                            Bravedevika6376
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                                                                                                              Bravedevika6376
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                                                                                                              May 6, 2025 at 6:06 pm
                                                                                                              How conveniently men ignore the torture and sacrifice housewives go through to be broken to such an extent.

                                                                                                              • #1607 Reply
                                                                                                                Bravenupur8528
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                                                                                                                  Bravenupur8528
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                                                                                                                  May 6, 2025 at 7:30 pm
                                                                                                                  Boo hoo, not every man is chivalrous and not every woman is innocent.

                                                                                                                  Our choices make us who we are. WATCH!!
                                                                                                                  Watch how the evidence is laid bare infront of you.
                                                                                                                  Watch how this woman is sugarcoating her mothers transgressions.

                                                                                                                  Oh dear one, please open your eyes, lest you wear the blindfold long enough, and you’ll forget you ever had eyes.

                                                                                                                  • #1613 Reply
                                                                                                                    Bravedevika6376
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                                                                                                                      Bravedevika6376
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                                                                                                                      May 7, 2025 at 2:31 am
                                                                                                                      Quite poetically expressed misogyny, that’s a new one

                                                                                                                • #1594 Reply
                                                                                                                  Happydude1306
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                                                                                                                    Happydude1306
                                                                                                                    OP
                                                                                                                    May 7, 2025 at 4:19 am
                                                                                                                    I cannot say for sure if she was cheating or not..coz I never thought of that specific word !!

                                                                                                                    And i ain’t sugar coating coz I cannot say for sure if she was cheating or not..

                                                                                                                    • #1606 Reply
                                                                                                                      Smartsarvesh9022
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                                                                                                                        Smartsarvesh9022
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                                                                                                                        May 7, 2025 at 9:13 am
                                                                                                                        Simple ask her

                                                                                                                • #1559 Reply
                                                                                                                  Bravedevika6376
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                                                                                                                    Bravedevika6376
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                                                                                                                    May 6, 2025 at 3:40 pm
                                                                                                                    Ye sab patriarchal simps kaha se aa gye comments me.

                                                                                                                  • #1558 Reply
                                                                                                                    Bravemanisha9649
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                                                                                                                      Bravemanisha9649
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                                                                                                                      May 6, 2025 at 4:38 pm
                                                                                                                      If u r delhi ncr then there are many words that sound similar to r words but aren’t

                                                                                                                      Randi means prostitute
                                                                                                                      (Used for females)

                                                                                                                      Rand means whose husband has died or unmarried
                                                                                                                      (Used for females)

                                                                                                                      Randwa/Randa means whose wife is died or unmarried
                                                                                                                      (Used for males)

                                                                                                                    • #1557 Reply
                                                                                                                      Sandhyamaster976
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                                                                                                                        Sandhyamaster976
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                                                                                                                        May 7, 2025 at 3:17 am
                                                                                                                        Cheating on your partner while married—especially when you have a kid—is just wrong. It shows a lack of integrity and respect for the family.

                                                                                                                        • #1573 Reply
                                                                                                                          Happydude1306
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                                                                                                                            Happydude1306
                                                                                                                            OP
                                                                                                                            May 7, 2025 at 4:17 am
                                                                                                                            I cannot say for sure if she was cheating or not..coz I never thought of that specific word !!

                                                                                                                            She was living with her male friend…cheating, is the word i cannot use coz idk if it’s true

                                                                                                                            • #1593 Reply
                                                                                                                              Sapaneagle374
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                                                                                                                                Sapaneagle374
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                                                                                                                                May 7, 2025 at 5:18 am
                                                                                                                                Whatever it is …but you aren’t right.

                                                                                                                          • #1556 Reply
                                                                                                                            Urbanshashwat851
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                                                                                                                              Urbanshashwat851
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                                                                                                                              May 7, 2025 at 7:50 am
                                                                                                                              Two wrongs don’t make a right and from where I stand I feel there were mistakes made from your Father’s side for not standing besides her and supporting her for all the sacrifices she did. But your mother directly moving in with some guy doesn’t give a chance for your father to reconcile or redeem his mistakes.

                                                                                                                              From your mother’s perspective, she has sacrificed enough and your father not acknowledging that at any point of time has made it clearly that he may not do it in future as well.

                                                                                                                              I think you might have been brainwashed by your mother to see her a victim , while she plays a major part of what she’s being called.

                                                                                                                            • #1555 Reply
                                                                                                                              Indianahana8882
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                                                                                                                                Indianahana8882
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                                                                                                                                May 7, 2025 at 8:14 am
                                                                                                                                Op i am not a lawyer but just wanted to tell you, my best wishes are with you and your mom!!! No woman deserves a spineless husband like your father, who cannot stand up for his wife when he still had time. Your mom is under no obligation to serve your insufferable granny. Your granny sounds like a terrible person, i hope one day she gets a tastes of her medicine. I am glad your mom found someone who loves and respects her.

                                                                                                                              • #1554 Reply
                                                                                                                                Luckypanda5091
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                                                                                                                                  Luckypanda5091
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                                                                                                                                  May 7, 2025 at 9:18 am
                                                                                                                                  Your mom showed incredible strength in choosing her peace over years of silent suffering. No one deserves to be treated like a servant in their own home, and it’s brave of her to finally prioritize herself.

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