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UI 23(F) and he is 25(M) we both are in a long distance relationship, he was caring in the beginning but now he has been abusing me for a very long time, i tried leaving him once but he called my mom, I don’t want to trouble my parents with my stupid decisions, if i leave him again he is already threatening to call my dad.
I don’t know how to get out of this situation he has all the photos we clicked I’m really scared that he is obsessed with me and will not leave me alone, please tell me a way out from this, i am highly depressed and would die than deal with a guy like this.
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UAll the lawyers and people have given wonderful advices but OP has a problem in every solution. Listen carefully, it’s literally common sense these days to not keep any THAT KIND of photos but you still did. Now, I understand your bf is wrong in this situation and you are right but the fact still remains that you did a mistake. You are just backing off due to the potential repercussions that may happen. You must realise that every mistake has a consequence, just accept it and talk to your parents. You can only be helped if you accept the coming minor consequences. Remember, your bf knows that you are scared of the potential proceedings and your career so he is playing the brave face card. If you worry about the future consequences now and don’t report him to police, he will just continue to blackmail you. You need to end this matter by talking to your parents and going to police.
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UI want to just be secure as i have sisters whose freedom will be affected due to this and if that is at stake i would sacrifice my life instead of them. And i really wanted to understand how police will work in this condition where we are in two different states and he can do a lot of damage after a warning what should i do next?
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SIt is plain and simple that the guy has something on you.
Go to police higher authority and inform them about photos.
Then inform your parents about the poor choices you made.Even if the guy leaks it would be a one time humiliation. And he would be duly punished for that.
Your family sooner or later will accept you. Male a choice and go ahead.
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SGo to either police DSP office or cyber.
Second involve some mahila group.
And third nowhere go without a competent lawyer.
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UUnpopular opinion, from my own experience. Pull the reverse UNO card, you act like the psycho. Become obsessive with him, possessive, act like you’re so much in love. Restrict him from doing anything and everything. Demand his time and attention constantly. Stop him from doing everything he likes. Sweet talk to his family and get involved in his family affairs, create some drama there but act like it’s out of good will. Then, he’ll break up himself. Put on a good act that you’re heart broken and can never recover, act obsessive and then drop the act, and move on.
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UThe first thing he will ask me is to meet him and i am really scared to do that i tried doing this for a while but drained me out instead of him it is difficult when i have alot of work i like this comment alot thanks
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UI understand but don’t be scared. Even if you’re scared, make sure he doesn’t know that you’re scared. You got to find a way out, you cannot live like this. In my opinion, all this opening upto parents or legal routes didn’t work, I redid everything he did, for example, calling up his friends during fight putting him in an embarrassing situation and everything, I doubted him and a female friend etc. He himself dumped me.
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UThats the thing hes from a village and has no female friend and that is really really stressing he doesnt follow anyone on Instagram or snapchat and whatsapp he has no texts what should i target him about? Hes so clean at all times
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RThere is only one way out of this. And you want to avoid that way. That’s why you are creating all this mess in ur head to avoid that way. Just simply tell your parents. Especially your father. Once you tell them, you will be fine. Don’t tell them about the objectionable pictures but the rest of it. This guy can only threaten you if your family isn’t with you. Trust me, this is the best way out of it.
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UThanks for the suggestion, i am gathering courage for the same, but somewhere from his words i do understand he is very obsessed as long as he is spoiling things for me he will be fine and no one is spoiling anything for him at his home, now my dad lives in another city i dont have access to talk to him face to face much so he can always show him pictures when hes out thats what is really stressing me
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HYour fear is the feeding element of the other person.. If you show fear they will dominate on it. Be bold and dont fear him.. And tell ur parents everything once you have their support you don’t have to worry.. May be there will be some scolding in the initial phase but eventually they will help you out… But it is so much better than being in a toxic environment.. All the best to u
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UMy father’s is in police, trust me one call from him and he won’t talk to any girl ever 😅 don’t worry just tell him to go away
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UI wish i had some friends like you where i could get away from this without getting anyone else involved
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CFrom reading all ops comments it looks like
Its not just few photos, this guy must have lot of material saved of yours, which explains why you are hesitant to take any sort of suggested options here by other people.
The answer is-
Cyber police and one time humiliation. Better than him sending your nudes to future husband.
You will have to go through this. Threaten him to the core while the process runs, tell him what charges he will face for leaking them, leaking pics isnt like peeing in public. Its a serious crime.
Any police record will affect his carrier and foreign trips.
and consider possiblity that it could get leak.Do not meet him. I repeat do not. After all done your sis freedom wont be same, but wont be too bad either. Mistakes are made by everyone, with time things start healing.
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UI have threatened him multiple times but never budged hes already going through 2 cases (financial fraud) and doesn’t care or shows he doesn’t care about anything in life but me he has even threatened my mom i hope you understand the situation and his narcissistic behaviour from this, i know it will be worse if dont stop it but the thought of the humiliation makes me want to die
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PHi Op
I survived this situation.
Go to ur parents, tell them if they are supportive and understand you. Tell them everything and block him from everywhere.
In my case she tried to reaching me in my mom and dad phone we blocked her and didn’t pick any call
Do the same
NO CONTACT IS BEST . DO THATyou dont deserve this abuse and you have to come out of this shit. ASAP
Physical and mental abuse makes deep scars in mind. Come out
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UI am really glad to hear you made it out safely, i am really curious how things played out for you as i am really in a dark place for all this and i feel the more out of touch i am the more uncontrollable his actions might be
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STake ss of his chats and threats and keep them with you.
Does he have access to your father’s number? If so, tell everything to your father and if not, proceed with legal case threats
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UThe same thing happened to me. But in my case he also told me would kill himself and blame me for it. I told everything to my parents. They told me to leave him at all costs. Even if he kills himself, nothing will happen.
Don’t worry guys. That scum is still alive. Although we broke up 9 years ago.-
USo didnt it ruin your family bonds? Impact on your freedom? And he didnt try to tarnish your image?
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PPlease tell your situation to your family OP.They will stand by you.Nobody is perfect and we all sometimes make bad choices in life.Once you have your family by side go to the police so that they teach him a lesson.If you let if off he still have the pics.Imagine you get married after some years. and this creep starts blackmailing you by threating to share pics with your partner.Better to nip it off from the bud.
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LJust leave him ? Uncle ko kya bolega ? I’m forcing her to be with me but she doesn’t want to? You think your dad will force you to go back to him?
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UHe might say that your daughter needs to stop playing with guys and anything to ruin or showcase me as a fuckgirl or some playgirl like i am ruining lives for fun
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LHe’s your dad, he should trust you, you can show him chats. Or just go to a police station and they can call your ex to the station and have a talk with him. Legal intimidation work sometimes
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UYou should include your family in this situation and then try going for legal action. It might be painful but you can’t stay in this state and let yourself get worse. Take a bold stand and he will never bother you. I am repeating, don’t think the situation will get better by itself.
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SMost girls think they will suffer and protect their family.
Eventually the abuser realises this and increases their abuse.
In the end, the truth does come out. So instead of today, it will happen 5 or 10 years later.
Contact National Women’s commision and police to inform them of blackmail with compromising pictures etc. collect proof first.
It won’t go to court, don’t worry. Just get it in writing that you won’t be contacted again.
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UI don’t understand this situation. You are in a long distance relationship, which mean he is not even in the same city.. So how is he physically abusing you?
And what do you mean he Wil call your dad and mum? Do they not know that you are seeing someone? Or do they know and they take his side? Why aren’t your parents on your side?
Look whatver it is, no one can help you if you don’t draw the line and stand up for yourself. Come whatever may, you have to stand up for yourself..whether he calls your dad, mum, leaks picture whatever. Baaki you can choose to already confess to your parents, go to the police and take legal action. But first.. Khud pe bharosa
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