- This topic has 37 replies, 16 voices, and was last updated 1 year, 1 month ago by
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PMy father who is 65 year old is having an affair . I live with him and am currently preparing for state civil services .mains exam in June . I discovered about his affair last October .but now just secured his chat to know the details ( whatsapp chat )
He has stored all my mother fd ( amounting to more than 50 lakh + house paper ) with him and if i confront him he warns me that he would start coming home drunk and will also bring his drunk friend home .
I am scared about my safety and majorly my mom safety . She cannot walk , eat without assistance . She cannot also speak .
He is having an affair with an auto driver wife and the driver also knows that . They have a pact .my father’s pay for those kids fee + auto driver wife expenses + gets him jewellery . My mother is paralysed and my father is using her money to buy the other woman stuff . My mum worked so hard for us all her life and he is leeching on her money .
He doesn’t contribute to any household expenses and emotionally manipulate me . He asked me to leave my college preparation to prepare and it’s been 7 years and i am not sure about getting a job .
What can I do in this situation ? -
SI don’t see any action that you take at this point will be favorable to you and your mother. Become independent asap and then take your mother out of the situation along with her earnings/savings.
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PI just feel so bad for my mother she suffered all her life . She would tell everyone ( me included ) that my dad is doing all this and no one would believe her . Now I feel empty and broken
My father is such a manipulator and he would guilt trip me into the fact that I am not studying enough , not working hard enough .no guy would marry me . That i would not have a happy husband and all that .
When he was doing all this .
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PHe is accessing my mum saving her pension and is also emotionally manipulating me calling me names .saying that no one would marry me . Iam not good enough . I cannot have a happy life
How can I protect the asset when he has access to debit card in her name he changed himself to be the nominee in mom account .so if she dies he will have access to all her money
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GDon’t to anything, try to find as soon as possible, move out and get a locker in bank and try to find the papers and debit card and store that there. If possible don’t do anything rash, cause he can do more harm than good to you. Listen to him but don’t react on anything. In this scenario getting a job is more favourable than speaking against him.
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PYeah I can take care of my mom . I just need a job I donot need to live with him and I need to be strong .
I can hire a 24*7 care taker -
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HGuardianship Rights: Since your mother is mentally/physically incapacitated, you may be able to apply for guardianship or custodianship of her finances (especially if you can prove the husband is misusing them).
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PWhat would happen if she passes away . I donot want him to have access to her funds after that .
I donot care about the money but I donot want someone who did so much bad to her to enjoy his life .
He is the nominee of all her account . When she was okay she made me the nominee but he forced me to convince her to change nominee
Now I know about him having an affair I donot want him to have access to her money ever when he caused her so much agony-
SCan she sign papers? If so get her write state you are sole owner of her assets excluding husband. Then I think he can’t do anything
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PShe cannot sign we get a verifying officer from bank to do transactions and suggesting a will he would be beat the hell out of me and get me forcefully married he warned me of that . I would have to think of something .
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PMy mom is the strongest woman I know she would travel kms in rajasthan heat to teach students english . She was a govt school teacher . She saved money for me and my marriage but my father took those fds away by manipulating me and changed himself to be the nominee
She also saved 8 lakh for me in my account . We spent that on her treatment which seemed correct for me
Sadly she won’t get ever be back to normal self . I tried a lot
But I love her so much .
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QMen (esp older) if their physical needs aren’t met, they go crazy. To get their cravings met, they go to any length. Your father is also a victim here, he is not able to think straight and he is being taken advantage of. If you feel so strongly you should approach a lawyer and file a case of cheating or fraud that your mother’s money (and your inheritance) is being stolen. Safeguard your house, else that will also go, so better act quickly.
If you don’t have the guts for that, the best and only thing you can do is get a job or married to get an income and stability in your life.-
PMy father always had a wandering eye . My mum would tell everyone about it . But as you know no one would help her . She eventually turned bitter . I was young and my father manipulated me .
I read my father chats the amount of affection he is showing to that hoe is nothing we ever got . He sounded like a teenagerHe could have divorced her and carry on but he could not do that. how would he steal my mother money for his side chicks .
How the hell is he the victim ?
He could use his own money not my mother money . Atleast not when she had a stroke thanks to all the trauma he caused her .
He still belittle my mother and me .
He manipulated me to changing nominee for my mother account . He would scare me saying that he would come drunk and bring his drunk friends home .
Imagine all the scary scenarios I felt .
Now he tells me to go find a guy because he won’t pay any dowry for me . When my mother saved money for my marriageI would love to get married but I cannot leave my mother alone.
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VCan’t you send a message from your mother’s mobile number registered with bank.
PORT” followed by a space and your 10-digit mobile number to 1900.
If you can get UPC you can easily get access to your mother’s bank account.
2nd ordered a new debit card and get card from bank any small branch.
First if you have money then you have everything like your mother’s health and everything.
You can join my project as a marketing manager or even become a partner if you want.
We will work remotely so there is not any problem like I am male or female.
I have 50+ ideas to secure your life including with your mother.
Don’t get panic or take tension you will be free with or without my help because you have intention because
In hindi Jaha Chaah he , Vaha Raah heGod will help you.
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PThanks 👍 I have a state civil services mains exam in June . I want to give it my best shot .
Can I connect with you afterwards ? -
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UHello .. you should file for guardianship in the court since she is physically incapable and ask for control of her finances citing abuse by her husband. You could then put her in a good nursing home or hire a nurse plus household help to care for her with her money. If she has worked hard all her life she needs to spend her last years in comfort at least and you deserve to start your life too.
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PThanks this seems the best advice I would follow this once I get a job because I donot even have finance for the guardianship case .
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UWomen get free legal aid in India. You can apply on http://www.nalsa.gov.in or go to the court complex in your city to Legal Services authority office for a pro bono lawyer. I would suggest do not wait to long because your father can misuse the funds.
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MJust put it out there into the world.
If I was caught in a situation like you, I would just keep sending relatives whatever evidence I gathered.
You have nothing to lose. If you don’t have money then shut up and study. Because there is no point in you being thrown out. That’s futile.
But if you can afford something then might as well. Share it
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PYeah you got it right I would basically be thrown out . I donot have the finances now. But i will figure out a way . I am saving the evidence every where and planning on gathering more .
Once my exams are over or i get a job I would tell it to everyone now he is helpful to me somewhat i donot think i would risk that favour
I plan on building from whatever help he is giving me and will tell everyone when I achieve my goal. I came to know about in October but i had my preliminary exam in Feb so didnot dwell on it . I cleared the prelims . Now i have my state services main so i would focus on that .
I would tell to only those people telling whom I am sure I can get some benefits otherwise airing your vulnerability makes you prey to evil vultures of world .-
MThis is the way. Remember age catches up to everyone. You can have your cake and eat it to. Sit and Bide your time. Best of luck. As much as ego’s get hurt. Remember it’s all for the greater good. Slyly start stealing money as well for yourself. Little jewelery and little bit of money.
Trust me filth like him no nothing. He can unceremoniously ask you to get out. For that you need money. Try and act oblivious. Men think women are stupid. Use to your advantage.
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PMost of my relatives already have an idea I feel .my mom when she was okay she would tell them about it .they did nothing to help her so won’t do anything for me too . But she couldn’t produce evidence but now with upi + whatsapp I have evidence which she didn’t have so i think people would have to believe me
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