Community › Forums › Legal Advice India › My father got violent after I said I want to study abroad. Now he’s spreading lies and cutting us off—what are our legal and financial options?
- This topic has 39 replies, 26 voices, and was last updated 1 year, 2 months ago by
Alphabro1965.
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AAnjaliwolf571
PARTICIPANT
April 21, 2025 at 8:43 amI’m a 22-year-old woman from a financially well-off, conservative family. I completed my bachelor’s degree and had a well-paying job in Bangalore. Life was stable, and I was on track. My father—who was never outwardly abusive to me, though we always suspected emotional abuse towards my mom—convinced me to quit my job and move back home.He promised me support for further studies, said I didn’t need to work anymore, and that he’d give me the life I wanted if I came back. I trusted him—like any daughter would. I moved home, and I started applying to top universities abroad. I worked hard and got into some amazing colleges. Studying abroad had always been a long-term dream, and my family could easily afford it.
But when I told him I was ready to go, his response changed overnight. He brushed me off, said it was a “stupid decision,” and refused to even discuss it. I gave him time, tried multiple times to bring it up gently. Each time, he shut me down or avoided the topic.
Yesterday, I finally pushed harder—I reminded him that I had never rebelled, always followed every rule he set, always studied well, never disrespected him. That this was all I wanted—just to study. That’s when he snapped. He got violent. He tried to hit me.
My mom stepped in, and he hit her instead. My brother came to defend us, and pushed my dad away. In the chaos, my father hit my mother multiple times (there are scars on her face). I physically had to pull him away from her and my brother.
And now? He’s going around town telling people we tried to kill him. That my brother tried to stab him. None of this happened. All I did was ask to study abroad.
Extended family was called in. Turns out, my father’s actual problem is that I won’t get a groom from our caste/community if I go abroad and return more “liberal.” He said it would ruin his name. That no one will want a daughter who’s been “tainted” by western culture.
He did not care about studies nor my well-being. All he cared about was how people around him were going to judge him.I tried one last time to talk to him calmly. He yelled, called me names I can’t type here, and made it clear he wanted nothing to do with us anymore. He’s now claiming he’s scared for his life—from his own wife and children. This is a man I once trusted completely. I’m now seeing the side of him my mom has silently endured all these years.
I also know that these kinda situations is common but that does not and should never justify the injustice anyone is facing. I dont want my mom to stay here anymore.
Now my question is: What can I do legally and financially so that my mom, my brother, and I can get out of this home without being stranded or dependent on him? He thinks he can throw money at us and we’ll come back crawling. We won’t. But we also need to survive.
Any advice on legal rights (domestic violence, financial separation, property, or travel permissions), or even next steps to ensure we’re safe and stable, would mean everything right now
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AAlphabro1965
PARTICIPANT
April 21, 2025 at 8:58 amYou are an adult, so you have no legal right to receive any financial support from him. If your mother wants to leave him, she should probably be able to secure a substantial amount of alimony and maintenance.-
SSwatiguy707
PARTICIPANT
April 21, 2025 at 9:10 am>so you have no legal right to receive any financial support from him.Absolutely incorrect. Don’t spread misinformation.
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SSwatiguy707
PARTICIPANT
April 21, 2025 at 9:19 am>You are an adult, so you have no legal right to receive any financial support from him.absolutely incorrect. Don’t spread misinformation.
[https://www.scconline.com/blog/post/2020/09/15/can-an-unmarried-hindu-daughter-claim-maintenance-from-her-father-sc-clarifies-the-legal-position/](https://www.scconline.com/blog/post/2020/09/15/can-an-unmarried-hindu-daughter-claim-maintenance-from-her-father-sc-clarifies-the-legal-position/)
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AAlphabro1965
PARTICIPANT
April 21, 2025 at 9:43 amDid you miss the part about the daughter having to prove she is incapable of supporting herself and the facts around the OP’s own situation ?-
SSwatiguy707
PARTICIPANT
April 21, 2025 at 9:49 amDid you miss reading the Adoption and Maintainence Act in law university? Oh, shoot, you’re not a lawyer and have zero idea what you’re talking about.-
AAlphabro1965
PARTICIPANT
April 21, 2025 at 9:51 amYes i never claimed to be a lawyer but i do have a particular talent for spotting charlatans.
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PPrimeshikha3305
PARTICIPANT
April 21, 2025 at 9:01 amIf you are earning well and your brother is also earning leave him and take your mom with you that’s the only solution. -
SSmartowl1658
PARTICIPANT
April 21, 2025 at 9:03 amThis guy is just like my father.
But my father did this in my Teenage and now I’m fucking suffering cuz I don’t even have money for bachelors.
And About being westernised this niggas Would be one of those uncles who stare at women inappropriately and they give a lecture about culture.
Hypocritical crying SOB.
Imo
You should make your mom divorce him .
Take that SOB property sell it go to abroad for studies, educate your brother and after degree earn and settle there.
And yeah this might take 2-3 years because divorce proceedings take too much time if one party resists and your father will resist as he needs to save his property.
Sorry I can’t give any immediate solution maybe others could help you.-
AAnjaliwolf571
OP
April 21, 2025 at 9:09 amMy brother is older by 3 yrs, he went to abroad to study MBA 2 years ago. He was fully okay with it under the condition that he will come back to india and work in his business after. So my brother is working under my dad now(horrible conditions) so my brother does now have any say in his finances cus family businesses dont usually give “salary” per say. So its even more difficult to declutter and separate though my brother is okay with leaving the business.He also broke the news of how he has a gf and now they are engaged under his guidance.
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SSmartowl1658
PARTICIPANT
April 23, 2025 at 6:13 pmYour brother is so educated and he is tolerating that shit.
Absolutely disgraceful.
He is 25 and your dad would be around 50-55 no match one slap all ego gone he is going to be sober and he seems to be like those log kya kahenge
He isn’t going to share it with anyone.
And talking about buisness
If it’s ancestral BUISNESS no need to worry about it
It’s going to be in his hands sooner or later and you will get a share too.
So rn just make your mom file divorce.
Press as much charges as you can and atleast she is going to get 50% as the marriage is long.
And after your father the property will be transferred to yours.
So you can live freely.
Yeah you might have to suffer for some years.
But later you’ll have control over your life.
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SShraddhalion980
PARTICIPANT
April 21, 2025 at 9:04 amI am so sorry this happened to you OP.It’s so common.All of my rich friends were sent to” good” college,just to get a richer groom. once graduated they were married off even before the convocation.It’s crazy -
SSwatiguy707
PARTICIPANT
April 21, 2025 at 9:09 amSupreme Court advocate here:First of all, I am sorry you’re in this situation. No one should suffer abuse.
Now, as far as your queries are concerned:
* as long as you’re unmarried and unable to support yourself, you are entitled to maintainence. You can file a case for the same.
* your mother is also entitled to maintainence as his wife. A case can be filed for this as well, and jointly.
* you brother can also claim maintainence, as long as he is a minor. If he is a major, he will need to prove that he is financially dependent (eg, studying, or disabled, or unable to maintain himself for any reason). A case may be filed for this, also jointly.
* You’re an adult, there is no way he can force you to stay should you decide to leave. You mom can also leave if she needs to. Your brother can also leave if he is a major. If he is a minor, then he can choose to stay with his mother, or not, if the situation demands it. All in all, your father can’t force any of you to stay (I am not going to include information about his conjugal rights and their restitution thereof because doing so at this stage is premature.)
* You can file a case against him for domestic violence. File an FIR as soon as you can.
* You have a right to any property of his that is not self acquired (or more accurately, your ancestral property). You rights on his self acquired property are different, and discussing them at this stage would, again, be premature. This is notwithstanding his duty to maintain you out of his estate.In the meantime, you can optionally file an NCR at your nearest police station relaying the incident in detail, should you choose to file the FIR at a later stage.
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**Disclaimer: The information provided above does not, and is not intended to, constitute legal advice; instead, all information, content, and materials available are strictly for general informational purposes only and create no liability on the provider of said information. Readers should contact their attorney to obtain advice with respect to any particular legal matter.**
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AAlphabro1965
PARTICIPANT
April 21, 2025 at 9:23 amGiven that OP recently had a high paying job and is, presumably, physically and mentally healthy, it would be difficult for her to make the case that she is incapable of supporting herself.OP has the right to inherit from her father’s ancestral property on his death, but she cannot ask for it while he is alive.
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SSwatiguy707
PARTICIPANT
April 21, 2025 at 9:27 am>Given that OP recently had a high paying job and is, presumably, physically and mentally healthy, it would be difficult for her to make the case that she is incapable of supporting herself.Not entirely correct. The question the court is going to ask here is whether the daughter is capable of supporting herself presently. Whether she is capable or not is an anciliary question which has a lesser value in the court.
>OP has the right to inherit from her father’s ancestral property on his death, but she cannot ask for it while he is alive.
Completely incorrect. Right on ancestral property accrues on birth of inheritor, regardless of whether the father is alive or not.
Are you even a lawyer? All you do is give incorrect advice on this sub.
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**Disclaimer: The information provided above does not, and is not intended to, constitute legal advice; instead, all information, content, and materials available are strictly for general informational purposes only and create no liability on the provider of said information. Readers should contact their attorney to obtain advice with respect to any particular legal matter.**
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CChetanstar910
PARTICIPANT
April 21, 2025 at 9:31 amGood to see response from actual professional -
AAlphabro1965
PARTICIPANT
April 21, 2025 at 9:41 amNo, I am not a lawyer, but i have mostly been quite successful in most of my endeavours and I may know more about the law than many self proclaimed Supreme Court lawyers, especially those who don’t seem to have any actual clients and solicit them on social media.The onus of proving that she is not capable of supporting herself is on the petitioner. Do you know the respondent will not point out that she is the prime of her life and her recent highly paid job demonstrates that she is capable of supporting herself if she chooses to ? Do you think any court will award her maintenance without considering this question ?
As for ancestral property, yes, the heir’s right to inherit it gets established at birth, but which law allows her to file a partition suit while her father is still alive ?
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SSwatiguy707
PARTICIPANT
April 21, 2025 at 9:48 amLil bro, I have done this shit with you atleast twice now. It’s getting tiring.>The onus of proving that she is not capable of supporting herself is on the petitioner.
No it’s not. Learn the basics of burden of proof. And go read a book.
>which law allows her to file a partition suit while her father is still alive ?
A regular partition suit on an ancestral property is maintainable even when the father is alive. Read a book.
>who don’t seem to have any actual clients
What you earn in a month, I probably earn in a week. Using my reddit account for free legal advice is one of my ways to give back to people, among other things.
> solicit them on social media.
Haven’t done that even once.
Chalo, shoo. I don’t have the time to deal with with idiotic frauds like you.
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AAlphabro1965
PARTICIPANT
April 21, 2025 at 9:52 amLol okay. No actual reference, but trust me bro. -
GGauripanther555
PARTICIPANT
April 22, 2025 at 8:05 am>you don’t get any more for free.I like you a lot. 😂
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PProshankar1073
PARTICIPANT
April 21, 2025 at 9:45 amWe know you’re the only lawyer here because no one else feels the need to have a disclaimer her, because no one else has a license they could lose… -
SSandeeppanther206
PARTICIPANT
April 21, 2025 at 11:16 amWait, I thought only divorced spouses and minor children can claim maintenance.-
SSwatiguy707
PARTICIPANT
April 21, 2025 at 11:22 amNo. Unmarried major women who cannot support themselves (this has a wider scope) as well as major sons who are unable to support themselves ( this has a narrower scope), and aged parents are all entitled to maintainence.Grant of maintainence differs on a case to case basis, but the provisions are there.
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**Disclaimer: The information provided above does not, and is not intended to, constitute legal advice; instead, all information, content, and materials available are strictly for general informational purposes only and create no liability on the provider of said information. Readers should contact their attorney to obtain advice with respect to any particular legal matter.**
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SSandeeppanther206
PARTICIPANT
April 21, 2025 at 11:31 amWow, that’s gotta be rough for the maintainer. Puts the whole marrying situation of the current generation into a new perspective.Thanks for the information.
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SSoniaeagle333
PARTICIPANT
April 22, 2025 at 2:41 amThere is no escape for Men, that’s marriage in nutshell.
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DDeepakhawk372
PARTICIPANT
April 21, 2025 at 2:47 pmThis country is fucked. What nonsense laws
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AAlokmaster447
PARTICIPANT
April 21, 2025 at 9:20 amInstall cc tv camera at your home. Put hidden cameras or record it when he gets abusive.He is a smart manipulator. He is hitting everyone and telling people he is threatened for life, by his own family. Until you have real proofs to show his face to world. People might hardly believe you. Because such people come to be very high socially. It’s hard to believe that they can be the villain… because they please everyone.
Once you have evidence. File a case. How dare he beat your mother. She deserves better. Stand up for your self then.
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AAyushitiger571
PARTICIPANT
April 21, 2025 at 9:33 amThis is a good suggestion. Definitely get cameras and evidence. There’s a very high chance that people will believe his lies. It’s quite common for people to believe the accusation that children are mistreating older parents. Without evidence, people will side with him. He appears to be an expert at gas lighting.
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CCalmsaloni4016
PARTICIPANT
April 21, 2025 at 9:51 amThe only ones who are going to make money from this fight are the lawyers as the case drags on. As far as the legal side is concerned, she can convince her mother to leave the father and file for divorce, domestic violence, and maintenance. Anywho phoren studies look difficult either way. -
PPrimeknight7087
PARTICIPANT
April 21, 2025 at 9:56 amIt might be a case of Othello’s syndrome. Something similar happened at my house with my father as well. Consult a psychiatrist! -
KKushalbro328
PARTICIPANT
April 21, 2025 at 10:17 amNot a Lawyer.Can you try to get back your job you had? Talk to the employer – mention you had personal issues which are worse now and you need the job. Try to build the finances by yourself so you can also support Mom and Brother while you figure out the appropriate legal way forward – which may take very long and will need your Mom to take most of the action (which she may or may not)
>I also know that these kinda situations is common but that does not and should never justify the injustice anyone is facing.
No these kind of situations are not common – and even if it happens – no need to normalize it.
>Any advice on legal rights (domestic violence, financial separation, property, or travel permissions),
Most of them will need your mom to act. Is she up to it? What travel permission???
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EExpertninja6581
PARTICIPANT
April 21, 2025 at 11:03 amMaybe also look for some family advice? If he’s never been like this his entire life – why suddenly now? If he didn’t want to support you, why call you back and now just let you keep working whatever you were going. Has he been diagnosed with some critical illness he might not have shared with you all? -
QQuicksanjeev5246
PARTICIPANT
April 21, 2025 at 11:06 amLlpo -
SSanabear963
PARTICIPANT
April 21, 2025 at 12:59 pmfind a job again op and please move out as soon as possible. (try to collect proof if possible as well).this is a very unfortunate situation abd legal proceedings will take time. so it will be better if the three of you can move out. you can then study abroad using loans/scholarship. my friend cut off her abusive father completed and supported her younger sibling and mother for many years. now they have a great life. she earns a lot of money and i know it might seem very hard at first but she moved out when she was 19 and had a salary of 12k per month. so it is possible -
DDesisapna4813
PARTICIPANT
April 21, 2025 at 1:27 pmNAL but you need to immediately find a job and move. -
RRajnishking936
PARTICIPANT
April 21, 2025 at 1:28 pmYour father has mental illness called Casteism. -
NNamitpanther188
PARTICIPANT
April 21, 2025 at 1:46 pmAdvocate here. You have no legal right to make your father pay for your foreign education, even if he has the money. Since you had a well paying job, you should definitely reapply for a job and move out ASAP. Don’t bother filing maintenance cases here, it will be a waste of your time and will make the relationship even more strained. The Supreme Court has also recently held that unmarried daughter who is able to earn and can support herself is not entitled to maintenance from the father. If you really want to go abroad then save up for a year or so and then apply for an education loan maybe. -
YYashwantdude282
PARTICIPANT
April 21, 2025 at 2:24 pmSave this aggression for future husband you got a long way to file series of cases on other man forgive your father 🤣 -
SSupermaster2786
PARTICIPANT
April 21, 2025 at 3:13 pmYour father is legally obliged to maintain you and your mother but again the high fees for foreign education would be highly contentious in court. Try to get back to your career and then apply with student loan. -
AAlphaguru3830
PARTICIPANT
April 22, 2025 at 7:25 amIt’s easier to just fuck off from your father and build your new life. Get a job and support your maa.
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