My father got violent after I said I want to study abroad. Now he’s spreading lies and cutting us off—what are our legal and financial options?

Community Forums Legal Advice India My father got violent after I said I want to study abroad. Now he’s spreading lies and cutting us off—what are our legal and financial options?

Viewing 18 reply threads
  • Author
    Posts
    • #10831 Reply
      Anjaliwolf571
      Participant
        A
        Anjaliwolf571
        PARTICIPANT
        April 21, 2025 at 8:43 am
        I’m a 22-year-old woman from a financially well-off, conservative family. I completed my bachelor’s degree and had a well-paying job in Bangalore. Life was stable, and I was on track. My father—who was never outwardly abusive to me, though we always suspected emotional abuse towards my mom—convinced me to quit my job and move back home.

        He promised me support for further studies, said I didn’t need to work anymore, and that he’d give me the life I wanted if I came back. I trusted him—like any daughter would. I moved home, and I started applying to top universities abroad. I worked hard and got into some amazing colleges. Studying abroad had always been a long-term dream, and my family could easily afford it.

        But when I told him I was ready to go, his response changed overnight. He brushed me off, said it was a “stupid decision,” and refused to even discuss it. I gave him time, tried multiple times to bring it up gently. Each time, he shut me down or avoided the topic.

        Yesterday, I finally pushed harder—I reminded him that I had never rebelled, always followed every rule he set, always studied well, never disrespected him. That this was all I wanted—just to study. That’s when he snapped. He got violent. He tried to hit me.

        My mom stepped in, and he hit her instead. My brother came to defend us, and pushed my dad away. In the chaos, my father hit my mother multiple times (there are scars on her face). I physically had to pull him away from her and my brother.

        And now? He’s going around town telling people we tried to kill him. That my brother tried to stab him. None of this happened. All I did was ask to study abroad.

        Extended family was called in. Turns out, my father’s actual problem is that I won’t get a groom from our caste/community if I go abroad and return more “liberal.” He said it would ruin his name. That no one will want a daughter who’s been “tainted” by western culture.
        He did not care about studies nor my well-being. All he cared about was how people around him were going to judge him.

        I tried one last time to talk to him calmly. He yelled, called me names I can’t type here, and made it clear he wanted nothing to do with us anymore. He’s now claiming he’s scared for his life—from his own wife and children. This is a man I once trusted completely. I’m now seeing the side of him my mom has silently endured all these years.

        I also know that these kinda situations is common but that does not and should never justify the injustice anyone is facing. I dont want my mom to stay here anymore.

        Now my question is: What can I do legally and financially so that my mom, my brother, and I can get out of this home without being stranded or dependent on him? He thinks he can throw money at us and we’ll come back crawling. We won’t. But we also need to survive.

        Any advice on legal rights (domestic violence, financial separation, property, or travel permissions), or even next steps to ensure we’re safe and stable, would mean everything right now

      • #10849 Reply
        Alphabro1965
        Participant
          A
          Alphabro1965
          PARTICIPANT
          April 21, 2025 at 8:58 am
          You are an adult, so you have no legal right to receive any financial support from him. If your mother wants to leave him, she should probably be able to secure a substantial amount of alimony and maintenance.

          • #10857 Reply
            Swatiguy707
            Participant
              S
              Swatiguy707
              PARTICIPANT
              April 21, 2025 at 9:10 am
              >so you have no legal right to receive any financial support from him.

              Absolutely incorrect. Don’t spread misinformation.

            • #10856 Reply
              Swatiguy707
              Participant
                S
                Swatiguy707
                PARTICIPANT
                April 21, 2025 at 9:19 am
                >You are an adult, so you have no legal right to receive any financial support from him.

                absolutely incorrect. Don’t spread misinformation.

                [https://www.scconline.com/blog/post/2020/09/15/can-an-unmarried-hindu-daughter-claim-maintenance-from-her-father-sc-clarifies-the-legal-position/](https://www.scconline.com/blog/post/2020/09/15/can-an-unmarried-hindu-daughter-claim-maintenance-from-her-father-sc-clarifies-the-legal-position/)

                • #10861 Reply
                  Alphabro1965
                  Participant
                    A
                    Alphabro1965
                    PARTICIPANT
                    April 21, 2025 at 9:43 am
                    Did you miss the part about the daughter having to prove she is incapable of supporting herself and the facts around the OP’s own situation ?

                    • #10865 Reply
                      Swatiguy707
                      Participant
                        S
                        Swatiguy707
                        PARTICIPANT
                        April 21, 2025 at 9:49 am
                        Did you miss reading the Adoption and Maintainence Act in law university? Oh, shoot, you’re not a lawyer and have zero idea what you’re talking about.

                        • #10868 Reply
                          Alphabro1965
                          Participant
                            A
                            Alphabro1965
                            PARTICIPANT
                            April 21, 2025 at 9:51 am
                            Yes i never claimed to be a lawyer but i do have a particular talent for spotting charlatans.

                  • #10848 Reply
                    Primeshikha3305
                    Participant
                      P
                      Primeshikha3305
                      PARTICIPANT
                      April 21, 2025 at 9:01 am
                      If you are earning well and your brother is also earning leave him and take your mom with you that’s the only solution.

                    • #10847 Reply
                      Smartowl1658
                      Participant
                        S
                        Smartowl1658
                        PARTICIPANT
                        April 21, 2025 at 9:03 am
                        This guy is just like my father.
                        But my father did this in my Teenage and now I’m fucking suffering cuz I don’t even have money for bachelors.
                        And About being westernised this niggas Would be one of those uncles who stare at women inappropriately and they give a lecture about culture.
                        Hypocritical crying SOB.
                        Imo
                        You should make your mom divorce him .
                        Take that SOB property sell it go to abroad for studies, educate your brother and after degree earn and settle there.
                        And yeah this might take 2-3 years because divorce proceedings take too much time if one party resists and your father will resist as he needs to save his property.
                        Sorry I can’t give any immediate solution maybe others could help you.

                        • #10855 Reply
                          Anjaliwolf571
                          Participant
                            A
                            Anjaliwolf571
                            OP
                            April 21, 2025 at 9:09 am
                            My brother is older by 3 yrs, he went to abroad to study MBA 2 years ago. He was fully okay with it under the condition that he will come back to india and work in his business after. So my brother is working under my dad now(horrible conditions) so my brother does now have any say in his finances cus family businesses dont usually give “salary” per say. So its even more difficult to declutter and separate though my brother is okay with leaving the business.

                            He also broke the news of how he has a gf and now they are engaged under his guidance.

                            • #10860 Reply
                              Smartowl1658
                              Participant
                                S
                                Smartowl1658
                                PARTICIPANT
                                April 23, 2025 at 6:13 pm
                                Your brother is so educated and he is tolerating that shit.
                                Absolutely disgraceful.
                                He is 25 and your dad would be around 50-55 no match one slap all ego gone he is going to be sober and he seems to be like those log kya kahenge
                                He isn’t going to share it with anyone.
                                And talking about buisness
                                If it’s ancestral BUISNESS no need to worry about it
                                It’s going to be in his hands sooner or later and you will get a share too.
                                So rn just make your mom file divorce.
                                Press as much charges as you can and atleast she is going to get 50% as the marriage is long.
                                And after your father the property will be transferred to yours.
                                So you can live freely.
                                Yeah you might have to suffer for some years.
                                But later you’ll have control over your life.

                          • #10846 Reply
                            Shraddhalion980
                            Participant
                              S
                              Shraddhalion980
                              PARTICIPANT
                              April 21, 2025 at 9:04 am
                              I am so sorry this happened to you OP.It’s so common.All of my rich friends were sent to” good” college,just to get a richer groom. once graduated they were married off even before the convocation.It’s crazy

                            • #10845 Reply
                              Swatiguy707
                              Participant
                                S
                                Swatiguy707
                                PARTICIPANT
                                April 21, 2025 at 9:09 am
                                Supreme Court advocate here:

                                First of all, I am sorry you’re in this situation. No one should suffer abuse.

                                Now, as far as your queries are concerned:

                                * as long as you’re unmarried and unable to support yourself, you are entitled to maintainence. You can file a case for the same.
                                * your mother is also entitled to maintainence as his wife. A case can be filed for this as well, and jointly.
                                * you brother can also claim maintainence, as long as he is a minor. If he is a major, he will need to prove that he is financially dependent (eg, studying, or disabled, or unable to maintain himself for any reason). A case may be filed for this, also jointly.
                                * You’re an adult, there is no way he can force you to stay should you decide to leave. You mom can also leave if she needs to. Your brother can also leave if he is a major. If he is a minor, then he can choose to stay with his mother, or not, if the situation demands it. All in all, your father can’t force any of you to stay (I am not going to include information about his conjugal rights and their restitution thereof because doing so at this stage is premature.)
                                * You can file a case against him for domestic violence. File an FIR as soon as you can.
                                * You have a right to any property of his that is not self acquired (or more accurately, your ancestral property). You rights on his self acquired property are different, and discussing them at this stage would, again, be premature. This is notwithstanding his duty to maintain you out of his estate.

                                In the meantime, you can optionally file an NCR at your nearest police station relaying the incident in detail, should you choose to file the FIR at a later stage.

                                ——————————————————————————————————

                                **Disclaimer: The information provided above does not, and is not intended to, constitute legal advice; instead, all information, content, and materials available are strictly for general informational purposes only and create no liability on the provider of said information. Readers should contact their attorney to obtain advice with respect to any particular legal matter.**

                                • #10854 Reply
                                  Alphabro1965
                                  Participant
                                    A
                                    Alphabro1965
                                    PARTICIPANT
                                    April 21, 2025 at 9:23 am
                                    Given that OP recently had a high paying job and is, presumably, physically and mentally healthy, it would be difficult for her to make the case that she is incapable of supporting herself.

                                    OP has the right to inherit from her father’s ancestral property on his death, but she cannot ask for it while he is alive.

                                    • #10859 Reply
                                      Swatiguy707
                                      Participant
                                        S
                                        Swatiguy707
                                        PARTICIPANT
                                        April 21, 2025 at 9:27 am
                                        >Given that OP recently had a high paying job and is, presumably, physically and mentally healthy, it would be difficult for her to make the case that she is incapable of supporting herself.

                                        Not entirely correct. The question the court is going to ask here is whether the daughter is capable of supporting herself presently. Whether she is capable or not is an anciliary question which has a lesser value in the court.

                                        >OP has the right to inherit from her father’s ancestral property on his death, but she cannot ask for it while he is alive.

                                        Completely incorrect. Right on ancestral property accrues on birth of inheritor, regardless of whether the father is alive or not.

                                        Are you even a lawyer? All you do is give incorrect advice on this sub.

                                        ————————————————————————————————–

                                        **Disclaimer: The information provided above does not, and is not intended to, constitute legal advice; instead, all information, content, and materials available are strictly for general informational purposes only and create no liability on the provider of said information. Readers should contact their attorney to obtain advice with respect to any particular legal matter.**

                                        • #10864 Reply
                                          Chetanstar910
                                          Participant
                                            C
                                            Chetanstar910
                                            PARTICIPANT
                                            April 21, 2025 at 9:31 am
                                            Good to see response from actual professional

                                          • #10863 Reply
                                            Alphabro1965
                                            Participant
                                              A
                                              Alphabro1965
                                              PARTICIPANT
                                              April 21, 2025 at 9:41 am
                                              No, I am not a lawyer, but i have mostly been quite successful in most of my endeavours and I may know more about the law than many self proclaimed Supreme Court lawyers, especially those who don’t seem to have any actual clients and solicit them on social media.

                                              The onus of proving that she is not capable of supporting herself is on the petitioner. Do you know the respondent will not point out that she is the prime of her life and her recent highly paid job demonstrates that she is capable of supporting herself if she chooses to ? Do you think any court will award her maintenance without considering this question ?

                                              As for ancestral property, yes, the heir’s right to inherit it gets established at birth, but which law allows her to file a partition suit while her father is still alive ?

                                              • #10867 Reply
                                                Swatiguy707
                                                Participant
                                                  S
                                                  Swatiguy707
                                                  PARTICIPANT
                                                  April 21, 2025 at 9:48 am
                                                  Lil bro, I have done this shit with you atleast twice now. It’s getting tiring.

                                                  >The onus of proving that she is not capable of supporting herself is on the petitioner.

                                                  No it’s not. Learn the basics of burden of proof. And go read a book.

                                                  >which law allows her to file a partition suit while her father is still alive ?

                                                  A regular partition suit on an ancestral property is maintainable even when the father is alive. Read a book.

                                                  >who don’t seem to have any actual clients

                                                  What you earn in a month, I probably earn in a week. Using my reddit account for free legal advice is one of my ways to give back to people, among other things.

                                                  > solicit them on social media.

                                                  Haven’t done that even once.

                                                  Chalo, shoo. I don’t have the time to deal with with idiotic frauds like you.

                                                  • #10870 Reply
                                                    Alphabro1965
                                                    Participant
                                                      A
                                                      Alphabro1965
                                                      PARTICIPANT
                                                      April 21, 2025 at 9:52 am
                                                      Lol okay. No actual reference, but trust me bro.

                                                    • #10869 Reply
                                                      Gauripanther555
                                                      Participant
                                                        G
                                                        Gauripanther555
                                                        PARTICIPANT
                                                        April 22, 2025 at 8:05 am
                                                        >you don’t get any more for free.

                                                        I like you a lot. 😂

                                              • #10853 Reply
                                                Proshankar1073
                                                Participant
                                                  P
                                                  Proshankar1073
                                                  PARTICIPANT
                                                  April 21, 2025 at 9:45 am
                                                  We know you’re the only lawyer here because no one else feels the need to have a disclaimer her, because no one else has a license they could lose…

                                                • #10852 Reply
                                                  Sandeeppanther206
                                                  Participant
                                                    S
                                                    Sandeeppanther206
                                                    PARTICIPANT
                                                    April 21, 2025 at 11:16 am
                                                    Wait, I thought only divorced spouses and minor children can claim maintenance.

                                                    • #10858 Reply
                                                      Swatiguy707
                                                      Participant
                                                        S
                                                        Swatiguy707
                                                        PARTICIPANT
                                                        April 21, 2025 at 11:22 am
                                                        No. Unmarried major women who cannot support themselves (this has a wider scope) as well as major sons who are unable to support themselves ( this has a narrower scope), and aged parents are all entitled to maintainence.

                                                        Grant of maintainence differs on a case to case basis, but the provisions are there.

                                                        ———————————————————————————————-

                                                        **Disclaimer: The information provided above does not, and is not intended to, constitute legal advice; instead, all information, content, and materials available are strictly for general informational purposes only and create no liability on the provider of said information. Readers should contact their attorney to obtain advice with respect to any particular legal matter.**

                                                        • #10862 Reply
                                                          Sandeeppanther206
                                                          Participant
                                                            S
                                                            Sandeeppanther206
                                                            PARTICIPANT
                                                            April 21, 2025 at 11:31 am
                                                            Wow, that’s gotta be rough for the maintainer. Puts the whole marrying situation of the current generation into a new perspective.

                                                            Thanks for the information.

                                                            • #10866 Reply
                                                              Soniaeagle333
                                                              Participant
                                                                S
                                                                Soniaeagle333
                                                                PARTICIPANT
                                                                April 22, 2025 at 2:41 am
                                                                There is no escape for Men, that’s marriage in nutshell.

                                                        • #10851 Reply
                                                          Deepakhawk372
                                                          Participant
                                                            D
                                                            Deepakhawk372
                                                            PARTICIPANT
                                                            April 21, 2025 at 2:47 pm
                                                            This country is fucked. What nonsense laws

                                                        • #10844 Reply
                                                          Alokmaster447
                                                          Participant
                                                            A
                                                            Alokmaster447
                                                            PARTICIPANT
                                                            April 21, 2025 at 9:20 am
                                                            Install cc tv camera at your home. Put hidden cameras or record it when he gets abusive.

                                                            He is a smart manipulator. He is hitting everyone and telling people he is threatened for life, by his own family. Until you have real proofs to show his face to world. People might hardly believe you. Because such people come to be very high socially. It’s hard to believe that they can be the villain… because they please everyone.

                                                            Once you have evidence. File a case. How dare he beat your mother. She deserves better. Stand up for your self then.

                                                            • #10850 Reply
                                                              Ayushitiger571
                                                              Participant
                                                                A
                                                                Ayushitiger571
                                                                PARTICIPANT
                                                                April 21, 2025 at 9:33 am
                                                                This is a good suggestion. Definitely get cameras and evidence. There’s a very high chance that people will believe his lies. It’s quite common for people to believe the accusation that children are mistreating older parents. Without evidence, people will side with him. He appears to be an expert at gas lighting.

                                                            • #10843 Reply
                                                              Calmsaloni4016
                                                              Participant
                                                                C
                                                                Calmsaloni4016
                                                                PARTICIPANT
                                                                April 21, 2025 at 9:51 am
                                                                The only ones who are going to make money from this fight are the lawyers as the case drags on. As far as the legal side is concerned, she can convince her mother to leave the father and file for divorce, domestic violence, and maintenance. Anywho phoren studies look difficult either way.

                                                              • #10842 Reply
                                                                Primeknight7087
                                                                Participant
                                                                  P
                                                                  Primeknight7087
                                                                  PARTICIPANT
                                                                  April 21, 2025 at 9:56 am
                                                                  It might be a case of Othello’s syndrome. Something similar happened at my house with my father as well. Consult a psychiatrist!

                                                                • #10841 Reply
                                                                  Kushalbro328
                                                                  Participant
                                                                    K
                                                                    Kushalbro328
                                                                    PARTICIPANT
                                                                    April 21, 2025 at 10:17 am
                                                                    Not a Lawyer.

                                                                    Can you try to get back your job you had? Talk to the employer – mention you had personal issues which are worse now and you need the job. Try to build the finances by yourself so you can also support Mom and Brother while you figure out the appropriate legal way forward – which may take very long and will need your Mom to take most of the action (which she may or may not)

                                                                    >I also know that these kinda situations is common but that does not and should never justify the injustice anyone is facing.

                                                                    No these kind of situations are not common – and even if it happens – no need to normalize it.

                                                                    >Any advice on legal rights (domestic violence, financial separation, property, or travel permissions),

                                                                    Most of them will need your mom to act. Is she up to it? What travel permission???

                                                                  • #10840 Reply
                                                                    Expertninja6581
                                                                    Participant
                                                                      E
                                                                      Expertninja6581
                                                                      PARTICIPANT
                                                                      April 21, 2025 at 11:03 am
                                                                      Maybe also look for some family advice? If he’s never been like this his entire life – why suddenly now? If he didn’t want to support you, why call you back and now just let you keep working whatever you were going. Has he been diagnosed with some critical illness he might not have shared with you all?

                                                                    • #10839 Reply
                                                                      Quicksanjeev5246
                                                                      Participant
                                                                        Q
                                                                        Quicksanjeev5246
                                                                        PARTICIPANT
                                                                        April 21, 2025 at 11:06 am
                                                                        Llpo

                                                                      • #10838 Reply
                                                                        Sanabear963
                                                                        Participant
                                                                          S
                                                                          Sanabear963
                                                                          PARTICIPANT
                                                                          April 21, 2025 at 12:59 pm
                                                                          find a job again op and please move out as soon as possible. (try to collect proof if possible as well).this is a very unfortunate situation abd legal proceedings will take time. so it will be better if the three of you can move out. you can then study abroad using loans/scholarship. my friend cut off her abusive father completed and supported her younger sibling and mother for many years. now they have a great life. she earns a lot of money and i know it might seem very hard at first but she moved out when she was 19 and had a salary of 12k per month. so it is possible

                                                                        • #10837 Reply
                                                                          Desisapna4813
                                                                          Participant
                                                                            D
                                                                            Desisapna4813
                                                                            PARTICIPANT
                                                                            April 21, 2025 at 1:27 pm
                                                                            NAL but you need to immediately find a job and move.

                                                                          • #10836 Reply
                                                                            Rajnishking936
                                                                            Participant
                                                                              R
                                                                              Rajnishking936
                                                                              PARTICIPANT
                                                                              April 21, 2025 at 1:28 pm
                                                                              Your father has mental illness called Casteism.

                                                                            • #10835 Reply
                                                                              Namitpanther188
                                                                              Participant
                                                                                N
                                                                                Namitpanther188
                                                                                PARTICIPANT
                                                                                April 21, 2025 at 1:46 pm
                                                                                Advocate here. You have no legal right to make your father pay for your foreign education, even if he has the money. Since you had a well paying job, you should definitely reapply for a job and move out ASAP. Don’t bother filing maintenance cases here, it will be a waste of your time and will make the relationship even more strained. The Supreme Court has also recently held that unmarried daughter who is able to earn and can support herself is not entitled to maintenance from the father. If you really want to go abroad then save up for a year or so and then apply for an education loan maybe.

                                                                              • #10834 Reply
                                                                                Yashwantdude282
                                                                                Participant
                                                                                  Y
                                                                                  Yashwantdude282
                                                                                  PARTICIPANT
                                                                                  April 21, 2025 at 2:24 pm
                                                                                  Save this aggression for future husband you got a long way to file series of cases on other man forgive your father 🤣

                                                                                • #10833 Reply
                                                                                  Supermaster2786
                                                                                  Participant
                                                                                    S
                                                                                    Supermaster2786
                                                                                    PARTICIPANT
                                                                                    April 21, 2025 at 3:13 pm
                                                                                    Your father is legally obliged to maintain you and your mother but again the high fees for foreign education would be highly contentious in court. Try to get back to your career and then apply with student loan.

                                                                                  • #10832 Reply
                                                                                    Alphaguru3830
                                                                                    Participant
                                                                                      A
                                                                                      Alphaguru3830
                                                                                      PARTICIPANT
                                                                                      April 22, 2025 at 7:25 am
                                                                                      It’s easier to just fuck off from your father and build your new life. Get a job and support your maa.

                                                                                  Viewing 18 reply threads
                                                                                  Reply To: Reply #10866 in My father got violent after I said I want to study abroad. Now he’s spreading lies and cutting us off—what are our legal and financial options?
                                                                                  Your information:




                                                                                  Cancel