- This topic has 55 replies, 29 voices, and was last updated 1 year, 2 months ago by
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B“I come from a very toxic family—it’s not just my parents, but all of my relatives are the same. I’m in a committed relationship with my boyfriend, and we plan to get married someday. The problem is, he’s not Muslim, while my parents are (although I’m an atheist).
My parents would never accept our marriage. They’re so toxic that I genuinely fear they might try to kill my boyfriend if I were to run away with him. There’s already a history of murder in my family—one case from my mother’s side and another from my father’s side. Both of those relatives are close to my parents and still visit our home, and they’ve literally taken lives before.
My dad scares me the most. Whenever he hears stories about a non-Muslim man being killed for marrying a Muslim woman, he actually gets excited and praises the murderer. He often says that this is what should happen to every guy like that, and he says it with this evil look in his eyes.
He’s physically abused me before—once just for going shopping alone. He even burned my phone after finding messages between me and my boyfriend. He constantly says hurtful things, and I honestly hate him now. He only cares about “what people will say.”
My boyfriend and I aren’t trying to just elope without any plan. We’re working on building a future—finding jobs and getting stable first. But eventually, we do want to leave. The thing is, we don’t think it’s safe to just move to another city or state within India. We believe the safest option would be to leave the country entirely.
But I’m scared. What if my parents try to falsely accuse us of something? Could they file fake FIRs (First Information Reports) against my boyfriend or even me? Would that be enough to bring me back to India? And what if they try to bribe officials or use illegal ways to track me down, even in another country? My dad isn’t very rich, but I know how extreme he is—he might go into debt or take loans just to find me.
So my question is: which countries have strong enough laws to protect someone in my situation? Would leaving India actually help? And how can I make sure that I’ll be safe and not forced to come back if they try something illegal or violent?”
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BThere is no hate in my post! What I wrote is almost true. There have been news reports about a man being killed because he was a Hindu married to a Muslim girl. You said my post was a hate post, but I believe that’s because you may have taken it personally. I think you might have felt attacked because of your beliefs being challenged in this situation. I guess you believe that this honor based violence is okay and essential. So when I said something opposite to it you took it as a “hate post”! . Laws won’t support such believers. No one can do anything to me if I fly away in a good western country nor your beliefs
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SPlease breakup and leave the guy alone. Why do you want an innocent to be killed knowing how your family is? Spare the guy if you actually love him and find a Muslim guy for yourself.
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BI love him and even if I want to leave him I tried breaking up he finds his way back to me and I feel bad for leaving him. And iam an atheist I don’t want muslim guys I don’t want to end up marrying man as my dad who knows
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SOhh, please! You can firmly break up. Stop being selfish and let the guy go. Who and what type of man you want to marry is immaterial here. You are risking another innocent’s life.
His family is not the one going to kill you. Yours will. -
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WI’m not from India but I suggest keep learning English or the language where you plan to escape. Your a minor so you’re going to need to wait, this will give you time. Regardless if you and your BF stay together or not in the coming years, I suggest getting a job and your own savings account that your family has no access to if you haven’t already. Work, save and have an exit plan and savings in case you need to get out quickly. From the sounds of things I would not be shocked if your parents are preparing for you to marry some 40 year old creep once you are old enough.
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AI will tell you two stories (one of them is mine and the other one is of my friend. I won’t tell which is mine though):
1. Muslim boy falls in love with Hindu girl. Hindu girl says her parents are cool and chill. When the time came to letting the parents know, it was opposite. The parents were highly orthodox when it came to saving their family’s face and threatened to kill the boy. The boy married someone else.2. Hindu boy falls in love with Muslim girl. Muslim girl is very afraid of her father and thinks will kill her and her boyfriend. When it came to letting the parents know, it was opposite. They understood her situation and let her marry her choice.
Moral of the story: you never know what happens when the time comes. Unless your parents don’t know about it, you never know how they will react to it. You are young now, focus on your careers. When the time comes, either it will happen or not. Destiny cannot be changed.
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BBut I can’t risk my boyfriend just for learning how cool my parents are. I want to hide his identity so they can never harm him.
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ALol. Teenagers. Please grow up first. At least attain a marriageable age before. In 5 years everything changes.
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BIt doesn’t mean that my words aren’t valid. It doesn’t mean that if I am a teenager I think everything is the wrong way. I just overthink and posted it online so it doesn’t mean I am stupid. It’s okay if things between me and him don’t work out I’d still leave my parents behind because what they did to me harming my mental health and physically they abused me is not at all okay. I’ve talked just more than about my boyfriend!! And it’s not valid that if I am a teenager I should deserve such harsh punishments for not following the religion. And yeah it’s obvious that I might be worried about people around me (my bf) because I don’t want someone getting killed just because iam a lol “teenager”. Atleast I think of someone’s life as a “teenager”. Okay lol adult
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AIf you have faced so much harassment, why don’t you leave your house now. Call the social welfare people. Women’s helpline. Tell that your parents are torturing you. File a case against your parents and shift to a women’s home.
And coming to your bf, you are still not an age of marriage. So, even by law now your parents’ guidance will be taken into account. Nobody is stopping you to love. But, you can’t do anything about it since you are a minor. Get a life and focus on your career. You will learn when you grow up that priorities and interests change with age.
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DSorry about everyone in the comments saying it’s ai and you’re 16, your relationship might end blah blah blah. They aren’t even thinking that even if you’ve stopped dating your bf when you’re older, you might still end up dating another non-muslim by then. That’s not to say you won’t marry your bf. So this is going to be a problem that you’re legitimately scared of and should think about eventually cutting off and protecting yourself and those around you from your family.
If you succeed in moving abroad in the future, your bf is okay with not meeting his family? Do your parents already know who your bf is? If not, key is never let them know your significant other’s identity. And generally don’t let too many people – friends, colleagues, people in the vicinity know about him.
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BMy parents don’t know about his whole identity. Yeah those people are the ones who support honor killings so they’re offended. Yeah key is to not anyone know much about him so no one will ever find him
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AJust 16 and doing advance planning of marriage
Best is complete your studies
When u get mature u will have answer -
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LYou are 16. If you are living in an abusive environment, you will tend to look does love outside your home. You’re bf makes you feel seen, heard, cared for, loved etc and so you feel that this is love.
Its not. Its just a way of escaping from your current reality. I know cos I was in an abusive parental env myself.
Learn to love yourself, appreciate yourself, become self confident, increase your self esteem. Learn what you will accept for yourself, learn your boundaries. Then you will be able to see if your bf is worth it.
Love yourself first. That is the key.
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SListen . Work with what you have right now . Hide your relationship . Not even an inch goes out . Best way is to meet less and cover it with more activities. Get friends and make hobbies that require you to be alone or out and yk nobody can reach you . Then only telegram call or text only on telegram . Hide the app . Use whatsapp to text anyone else . Dont leave notifications of telegram on and hide the app . Uninstall it . Reinstall when texting and calling . Always talk when completely alone and nobody can reach you . Always uninstall the app even when in hurry never forget . Delete the otp sms aswell . Insta is even also a way . Make a fake id . Use that . Uninstall always after text be it just one text or you will text 5 minutes later still .
2nd – career –
Study well ace your exams and apply for college outside of the city . That will get you your independence . Still be the same cautios . Dont text on whatsapp. Work well . Dont call normally always telegram or insta . Delete always when home and dont talk when you visit home at all . If you cant move out then make sure you live hiding it well just like you would rn .
3rd – when working talk to a lawyer . He will make you submit a few documents to the police stating you are doing what you are doing on your own will and shall not be contacted by family. The problem is of the guy’s family will be in threat . Thats to be worked on . Guy wouldnt want that . Then leave for another country like US or europe free . Get you adhaar pan and all credentials to yourself and make sure nobody has a copy later in the years . If they want . Give and then delete later 10 days later from phone of theirs silently while making excuse of doing something else .
ALL OF THIS WILL BE IF YOUR BF LOVES YOU . PROBLEM IS THE CHANCES OF YOUR REATIONDHIP LASTING THAT LONG IS 1% . SO IF CHECK YOUR BF WHEN HE FINALLY REACHES COLLEGE AND START TO EARN . DOES HE LIKE OTHER GIRLS . DOES HE NOT WANNA SACRIFICE AND BE LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE AND STAY WITH A HINDU WOMAN .
I have answered only to take worry off your mind . There are ways . Dont worry . Rn work on studies and dont let your bf be known
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R# #Marathons for Years or #Hackathons quite fast. Honor hackings still happen abroad. Depends how resourceful / well networked/ well funded they are.
You asked legal forum for extra legal dangers. This is reality.
If you can out fund and out maneuver to disappear and they don’t have means to find. Then your luck.
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BOkay I might be stupid if I end up breaking up. Not everyone has the same experience as you had !!! . Even if I broke up with him one day I’ll still choose not to live with my family because they’re toxic anyhow.
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BOh comeon’ iam not here for advices so I can runaway next day iam just seeking knowledge ideas. No need a big lecture on this. Atleast iam curious than an average adult ☠️.
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WYou literally don’t have even 10%of knowledge/responsibility of an avg adult😉, not siding with your parents but you are still too young, it’s more likely you won’t even know him next year than you ending with him after 12yrs
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BYeah dude i don’t have it because I am just a teenager and I am seeking knowledge and regarding responsibility I do my own stuff as a teenager, studying ,seeking knowledge if i get curious about something. Iam just growing and figuring out things that’s the reason why I won’t leave my house next day🤣😭. Haha I know every adult had a teenage love but they ended up breaking up so they might be giving advice don’t date. But it’s not sure that every teenager end up the same way you did . Iam damn sure you had your own experience. But not every teenager will end up as you . Everyone has different paths of life and unique experiences. So me asking questions is valid because even if we’ll not be together one day atleast iam clearing up my overthinking by posting online . If i force myself not to post and i would end up alone and suppress my instincts i would suffer ever more which might cause problems and it would affect my studies. So as a teenager iam doing right you might be doing something wrong in your teenagers and you except i would end up the same way you ended up. If I say beyond this thing you might be a muslim so that’s the reason why you got offended that’s all .
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MHi there,
Young lady, my suggestion right now is to focus on your studies, you have a long way to go. Who knows you might come across a moderate/agnostic muslim partner who might be complete opposite to your family. Just go with the flow. For now study hard, save money, and try to get into a college somewhere in the South. Have all kinds of fun and after all this while you are still with your current boyfriend, then consider learning Mandrin( you can migrate to china/Hongkong) or any Scandinavian country, chose your country and start learning the local language.
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MLooks like your hormones are kicking up.
You aren’t thinking clearly.
: Wait till you are older enough, I am pretty sure your opinion would change too. For now, don’t think about this too much,
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BWtf lol. I just asked questions because I am curious and it doesn’t mean I will leave my house next day 😂. And it’s obvious that this thing can happen to me when I get older bc I know my parents. Not everyone will experience the same thing you experienced. We end up on different paths. I might or might not change my mind.
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MProsecutor here , donot elope as of now cause you are just 16. A case will be registered and state agencies will hunt both you and your bf on complaint. Wait atleast for the age of 18 (complete). I have seen many elopement cases later turning into murder cases , so avoid this route. Build your career , try and obtain better jobs then settle in a capital and apply for protection, if threats come.
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BI am tired of explaining to adults that I am not planning to leave my house as a minor I know the consequences!!. The questions i asked are related to my future when I get a job
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MYou plan to leave your house in about “N” years into the future? Nobody here knows about your skill or intelligence level , they cannot predict what you will or not do , or even if your relationship will last those many years. You posted in r/legaladvice and are asking about your probable future? That says a lot. Rather ask r/astrology. The first 6 paras of your complaint is about the threat from your family and the 7th para about the question is about safety through laws. Crime is something that has genesis inside human mind and if one is adamant to harm you then no law can stop him, law can only ensure punishment at best but prevention is a separate thing. You are too young to understand the consequences of your own actions. Either you are trolling this forum or are afflicted by the dunning kruger effect to comprehend the consequences of your own question. Anyways, minors have no business talking about this , a reckless attitude will only get your bf harmed.
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KFirst of all. CONGRATS on leaving Islam and choosing Atheism.
Well, Secondly. It’s better you research and choose a European nation with literally NO MUSLIMS. Like less than 1 or 0.5% or something.
Because if you go to countries like England or the US – you are dead. Since, those countries are totally packed with muslims. And avoid France too, at all costs. Because your dad might pay someone abroad or instruct some of his equally brain dead muslim relative to kill you.
Choose a country like Greece or Denmark. There are not much muslims there.
Get a good job.
Live a happy life free from religious psychos.
Be happy.
All the best for your love life. -
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