- This topic has 65 replies, 47 voices, and was last updated 1 month, 2 weeks ago by
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UShort summary as it is too long to write it here.
He is 28M , Ran away from home some 3 years ago.
After searching for him for a while we found him in Hyderabad living on a daily wage working in a hotel. He wasn’t ready to come back home , so my parents pleaded with him to come back home and he did.
Now he uses that against them, my father got him married to a girl, let him into his buisness. But he couldn’t keep the marriage, as the girl was weak and petite and he used to try to force himself onto her. They’re almost divorced now but the girl is pregnant.
Now he blames all of his problems onto my parents , including his marriage failing and his “wasted time”.
Now he fights physically with me and my father, has beaten our mother at times and berates her with the lowest scum you can say.
My father tried his best but he listens to no reason, we’ve tried alot and now just want him out.
What are our legal options? If we don’t want him to go to jail (my father thinks if he mixes up with criminals there he might get even more dangerous).
We just want him away from us atp, my parents seriously regret taking him back from Hyderabad City.
He now constantly comes to our home and makes commotion and starts berating and fighting.
I for one am weak and skinny and can’t handle him , I really don’t know what can I do here.
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DLawyer here. Since he is an adult, your parents are not legally bound to keep him in the house and can ask him to leave and deny him entry, especially given his abusive conduct. You can send a cease and desist notice through a lawyer directing him to stop entering the house, threatening, or assaulting any family member, and warning that legal action will follow if he continues. If he still persists, you can file a police complaint for assault, criminal intimidation, and trespass, and your mother can seek protection orders under domestic violence laws to restrain him from entering or contacting the family.
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UPolice has been called several times over the years on him, they took him to station and gave him strong warnings , but let him off(probably at my father’s request). He then went to my father’s work place , which is a small place we rent to operate our buisness. And my father let him stay there.
Last time he went to the police station, they made him write on a blank papaer that he won’t bother us no more and live on his own, and signed. But he’s came back here again tonight and made commotion till around 1:30 AM.
I can’t see my father suffer like this , I really wish I could’ve done something.
He really doesn’t care about the police now, when we threaten him with police , he doesn’t care at all.
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UDid he married on his own will or pressure from home? Why does he keep it on your parents?
Sorry for asking just curious i saw so many people now a days just marrying for family pressure even though they are not interested ..Is he taking his life decisions or you guys forcing him to be.. yes as above comment mentioned he is adult he can be on his own why you guys got him home & get married to another women with his known issues? Did the girl know about his issues & running away from home?
Is this a societal pressure situation marriage? Your parents forced upon him?
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UWhats your age? You have to take hold of the situation. Talk to your father to not interfere in the police processes.
Tell him that this is creating issues with you and your mother, convince your mother regarding this. If your father insist on helping him maybe you dont need to stay there start focusing on your career and job and leave home (maybe not permanently but for work).
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CI’m not a lawyer, I don’t think there is much you can do if your parents are being shit stains. What sort of mentality is “I want my son to not face consequences of his action”. No wonder he turned out this way, and your shit stains of parents ruined a woman’s life too.
Hope they grow a pair and work to put the criminal behind bars, or they’re going to find out the hard way and then he ends up in jail for assault or worse.
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UIf you can read , I’ve also stated my reason for him “not facing the consequences of his actions”
As for the ruining the life of a girl, it was a consensual marriage and their family were properly warned. We were completely transparent with the situation. Also I know I shouldn’t be saying this cus it makes no difference but the girl was a divorcee, her previous marriage lasted for atmost one month. My brother and her were happy for the first two months and then all these problems arised .
As for the Your “Shit stain” mentality. It shows projection and your upbringing, please remove the shit stains from your brian before throwig insults around on people’s parents , miss “Shit stain”.
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Ubro’s getting mad when he’s being faced with the truth 😂 it is your parent’s fault also you can’t deny that. And please tell that girl to get an abortion, her life will be screwed if she has to raise a kid as a single mom in india of all places. I pray she files lawsuit for rape and gets your brother’s ass in jail where he belongs
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UConsensual marriage is good and all but what about the non consensual stuff that happened later on
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UI can understand why you might think that , given how little info is provided. But I’ve tried to explain to someone [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/LegalAdviceIndia/s/ZdnBeRum0x).
I personally agree with you, he shouldn’t have been married to that girl or any girl for that matter.
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UOhh my goodness after reading your comments justifying ruining a girl’s life because you see her as some sort of lesser human being due to being a divorcee is pathetic af, your family and you rightfully deserve this
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SThey married him off to a divorcee because they thought tht she will be forced to live with him since it is her second marriage n she won’t be able to break her marriage again.Since the brother himself is unhappy this marriage is a problem.If he was happy they would be least bothered about that poor women’s plight.After all they bought him a toy to play with.Only problem is that he is now bored of it.
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UTypical indian parents mentality..
Marriage solves all the problems..
You guys are monsters spoiled the life of a girl -
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IWhen he was busy making a living after running away, you had to bring him back. He could have reformed, you guys just had to keep him under watch n keep connected with him while he worked to be better. But no…
Then you had to get a man who liked to run away from things married.
And the woman you guys found for him was a divorced one.
The hell… You guys seem to be an absolute family…. Keep worsening things …..
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PThe girl wasn’t divorced, op said in the post that they are almost divorced.
E: read op’s comment, you’re right
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U> he couldn’t keep the marriage, as the girl was weak and petite and he used to try to force himself onto her.
What the fuck!
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RLegal issues aside, one thing for sure if your brother has gone through(and probably still under) severe childhood trauma…
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EAbort the child, don’t bring another human into the picture.
Set his wife free or if you can rehabitate her, let her be independent and move out. Lot’s of options, ITI trainings, B. Eds etc. Support her till she can support herself.
Next time he brings up Hyderabad, book him a ticket to Hyderabad and kick him out. Parallely work on securing your parents’ finances etc..
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UHe drinked all the time, one of his newborns died in 2009 after that he just drinked like a fish.. now he drinks less and smokes cannabis I grow
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UThat he ran away from home at 25 implies some unresolved childhood/adolescent trauma. Was he controlled too much in his childhood? Too much pressure about studies or daily routine? Nitpicking into his habits?
He must have been working until he absconded. Were there office problems? Past relationships that went south horribly? How was communication in your household before he ran away? Was he open about communicating his failures before you guys?
You need to discuss all these aspects with your parents (or some psychotherapist), if not already done so.
Taking legal help is just incident management. Yes, he can be ‘taught a lesson’, as the term goes, but that doesn’t address the root causes of his behavior.
Without addressing them, and if he leaves (or is made to leave), chances are that you folks will keep hearing of more and more trouble on his account now and then.Due to whatever has happened in his life in the last dozen years, it seems he has grown to prefer isolation & solitude. Did you ever ask him if he was at peace while he was in Hyderabad?
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ANAL : you lot are getting what you deserve. You destroyed not one, but two lives.
Frankly, just from this snapshot of your family dynamics, I feel your brother was right running away and still right whipping your parents. They must have been monsters when he was a kid.Lawyer : abey jail mein nahi dalna toh kya legal mang raha hai? If he breaks anything legal what will police do? Are you lot retarded?
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UI mean the parents are selfish and dumb. But there seems to be no evidence that the parents are monsters?
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Ukind of the same situation in my home ,my parents are good people and they are his biggest enabler of this behaviour , i used to be scrawny kid like you ,but after hitting puberty things changed for me ,i am able to keep him in line for now but once in a while he start some shit and everytime i whoop him mbut still im worried coz if anything ever happens to him iam screwed too ,but still im contantly stressed about this whole situation and i m worry for my parents when i move out at some point
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L1. Why he ran at the first ?
2. Why bring him back,if he want to live life on his own terms?
3. Why married a woman, whom he dislike?
4. If police are getting involved, and there is physical hteat .. better keep him and his wife away from home,
5. Any fight? Mental disorderSo many questions are open ended..
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Uthis sounds like the family has moved far beyond normal conflict and into a situation where everyone is constantly adjusting their life around fear of his behaviour the part that usually matters most now is documenting the repeated violence and disturbances because families often avoid action for years hoping things calm down until something serious finally happens also wanting distance without wanting jail is more common than people realise in these situations have any of the physical incidents injuries threats or house disturbances ever been recorded reported or witnessed by neighbours or has the family mostly kept everything internal till now
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