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UI am 34M from Mumbai. Married for 6 years. I have clear evidence that my wife has been having an affair for the last 8 months. Screenshots of messages, call logs, and even a video from a friend who saw them together multiple times. I confronted her last week. She admitted it but did not show any regret. Now she is staying at her parents house.
I went to a lawyer yesterday. He told me that filing a police complaint for cheating or adultery will not go anywhere because adultery was decriminalized in 2018. He said the police might not even register an FIR. He advised me to file for divorce on grounds of cruelty and mental agony instead. But I want her to face some legal consequence for what she did. I feel cheated and humiliated. Is there really no criminal case here at all. What about section 498A or something else. Can I file something against the other man also. Please advise what my real options are. I do not want to just sit and accept this quietly.
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UNopes buddy, Your lawyer is correct, there is no legal recourse for infidelity.
It can be max, a ground for divorce.
Also divorce is not an easy process. If you file for divorce it will be contested divorce and onus to prove the infidelity is on you. Even if infidelity is proven , it is a ground for divorce.
If your wife is dependant on you, then you may have to pay alimony and maintenance .The court’s objective is to ensure similar lifestyle before marriage for your wife.
If she is earning more, you can ask for alimony and maintenance.
I am in similar situation. I have deduced that mutual divorce makes sense.
I have moved out of house and maintaining minimum contact with my wife. I am slowly reducing financial support to her.
Keeping things amicable.
Because if you lash out on her she will go to police and file 498 and other complaints which is pain in the ass for us.
My wife did file a complaint but I wa lucky that she withdrew the complaint.
It is really frustrating, I propose take some time away from her to clear your head.
The biggest punishment you can give her is to move out of her life and remove financial support.
DO NOT get physically abusive with her.
Save all the proofs at different places. Don’t tell her what proofs you have, she will build counter- evidence/ arguments based on that .-
UI am curious, what would happen if OP had cheated instead of his wife, are the law different?
Because based on the comments here OP (being a male) dosent really hold any power in our legal system.
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AIts the same. Cheating by male is also only immoral, not illegal. If the wife is dependent, in the divorce, husband has to pay alimony. If wife earns more, she has to pay. There is no difference between male and female in these cases for court. Just because number women who are dependent on husbands is higher, cases where alimony is given to women is higher and hence they are more in news.
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UThat’s a naive understanding of how court system works. While the law is written to be gender-neutral, judicial outcomes tell a different story.
Statistically, women often receive significantly shorter sentences than men for the exact same crimes, even when criminal history is accounted for. In family court, while the ‘Tender Years Doctrine’ has technically been replaced by the ‘Best Interests of the Child’ standard, the default outcome still overwhelmingly favors the mother in contested custody cases.
You cannot claim there is ‘no difference’ when the empirical data shows a consistent gap in how the law is applied to men versus women -
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EIt would have been a case of polygamy on op if the he would have been her place also on the basis of this there would have been fake case of 489A and actually the lawsa are in favour of woman she has a upper hand in laws over the men
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UPolice is right , this comes under cruelty , 498a is dowry harrasment , best course of action is to try for mutual divorce , be practical , otherwise it will drag for years , which is even worse , you will lose 2 years of your life in a blink of an eye , best thing convince her to agree for mutual and tell her to return gold / silver that she was given and gey rid of this marriage
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UHey. U are blessed to get the best advice from the lawyer.
I’m 29F, married for 6 months found out my husband is gay and had all the evidence. For past 1.5 years I’m visiting police station and court. It’s SUCH A TIME WASTE. I DEEPLY REGRET LISTENING TO MY LAWYER AND REGISTERING A CASE. I was already emotionally broken down and the last 1.5, years was even hard for me. I wish I could have just taken a direct route to divorce.-
Bsorry if it sounds like im prying but why did he go ahead w the marriage by putting a fake perception of being straight? does he regret doing this to u? more power to u and dont give up!!
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UI am not a lawyer but in this case you don’t have any option other than divorce , screenshots of messages won’t effect that much in divorce case but call log and video may help but even then you need to pay ALIMONY if she can’t maintain herself..
My suggestion is find a lawyer who is aggressive he/she might help you to cut down maintenance other than that it will be a really long case
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SBuddy lawyer here. I’ll just give you one advice. Get out of the mess as peacefully as possible. Don’t try to hurt the ego of your wife. Accept as if it’s your mistake and get out of the marriage.
I’m assuming you’re a regular office going guy.
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UIt hurts so much seeing that men in this country feel literally helpless when it comes to cruelty by women. If he stays with his wife his mental health is gone of he separates then his mental health and finances, both are gone.
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UIf she cheated and he has proof she aint getting any alimony. Man or woman. The law is same for all.
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UGenuine question. Since the OP is already at a loss anyway, even if he files for divorce he may still have to pay maintenance and alimony. So what happens if he moves to a foreign country, starts working there, and simply distances himself from his wife without even filing for divorce? Would that actually work out for him in the long run?
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UI highly doubt you have to pay alimony if the divorce is granted on the grounds of cheating done by wife
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UHe may or may not have to. But cheating is treated as cruelty in a marriage in india – which is grounds for divorce, though it is not illegal. Similar to how marital rape is not illegal but treated as grounds for divorce on account of cruelty.
If the guy doesn’t do anything right now and asks for a mutual divorce.. then even if his wife files a case, the courts would still be sympathetic towards the husband in this case. Especially in a place like Mumbai. They may grant minimal alimony to her, but it would not be anywhere close to what she will get if this is made muddier than it needs to be.
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UMutual divorce goes through court counseling where both parties can agree to the terms. If the wife agrees, he may not need to pay any alimony. Moving to a different country does not free him from his spousal rights and duties. He will still be her legal guardian and she may still be legally allowed to ask for maintenance. If she files a case of abandonment, then his career may also get affected. This is why you should marry the right person, and be absolutely sure about who you are marrying.
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UThanks this helped. What if he moves to a different country without filing for divorce. Will the case of abandonment still stick?
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BNAL
I can get you because i come from a similar situation and he is right, you can’t legally do anything.. even the evidence you have may get thrown away by judge who will later use that as mental cruelty against her .
Also if she files DV and dowry cases, then you would be spending another 5 years to quash them all while paying interim maintenance.
Your only option is to take your lawyer to her and her parents, tell if you file , it will be bad name to their family, so you are settling for Mutual consent divorce and pay a one time settlement and not tell others the reasons why . Get divorce in 1.5 years and move on .
My wife too did that and she is not allowing me to see my kids as punishment and unfortunately i can’t do anything legally.
If you are looking for legal punishment you are in wrong country, if you are looking for karma to punish her ,you are in wrong planet
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UYes lawyer said the truth.
Indian court and Indian law doesnt punish women, even when she is cheating you.But you have to be strong and fight hard to teach her a lesson.
If you need help contact an mens cell or mens ngo.You collect all proofs and contact lawyer to file case through high court directly, if police are not doing their duty.
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UYou are a victim of population control policies designed to penalize men for getting married.
The legal system gives women all the power, leaving you absolutely defenseless.
Your wife has the legal power to ruin your life. No matter how innocent you are, cheating isn’t even the worst thing she could do to you.
Cut your losses and divorce her before she decides to raze you to the ground with the help of the same government you’ve been paying taxes to your entire life.
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SThe max you can get is divorce on the grounds of adultery but proving that with chats is difficult unless its explicitly mentioned that they were involved physically. Lawyer is correct that you can get divorce on grounds of cruelty. The problem is that law does not give you much options. Also if you file case she can still file fake cases on you. So the best option is that she agrees and you get mutual divorce and she wont face any legal consequences for it. The second best option is filing divorce case either on the grounds of cruelty or adultery(if you can prove it).
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UWhatever you do, **please** document everything moving forward.
Whatever money you send should be done through UPI, document all talks of divorce, and if possible get a couple of security cameras for yourself, and if there is an altercation try to move to the areas where the cameras can see and record better. I don’t know your wife, but if she is willing to cheat out of nowhere then she may be willing to lie to save face.
If I were you, I’d specifically starting asking her to reply to texts like:
– Did I ever disrespect you?
– Did I ever disrespect your parents or your family?
– Did I ever ask for dowry?
– Did I ever pressure you to do anything you didnt want to do, sexually or otherwise?
– Did I ever put a hand on you or destroy anything you own or love?
– Then why did you do this to me?
– I am not perfect but I have given my everything to this relationship, etc etc.. Did you not feel that?These can be later used to prove that whatever she says after that is made up or simply cant be taken on face value.
For your sake, I hope your wife is reasonable and agrees for mutual divorce. But if she doesn’t then this kind of evidence will really come in handy.
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UAnother man realizing what unbounded female empowerment does to a society. Be glad that no children are involved (I’m assuming). She can take half your belongings and half your income and chill. You’ll get nothing, only threat of fake cases if she’s decent. If she’s a bitch, your life is going to have so much pain, you won’t believe.
This post is the reason why I’m never marrying. That is unless I become an awesome astrologer or a mind reader or enlightened. Till that time, no marriage for me.
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UAll you must do is divorce her
But if he divorces her will he have to give up 50% of property ownership? -
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QI would say , go for smooth divorce first , and just when divorce is completed, indirectly spread this in her circle that she cheated, but do it indirectly, don’t let your name drag into it , in any way possible!!!
See.. one thing the cheaters fear the most is becoming the villian , these people have victim mentality, so making her truth come out in her circle and making her embarrassed to go into any social gatherings is best revenge you can get.But in legal battle play smart , get a normal divorce on the grounds of mental cruelty. Don’t let mess enter into your legal case . Keep it simple .
Btw do you have kids ?
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BNAL
For reference –
1. Scenario 1 – There was a case where the husband provided video evidence of his wife with another man in a hotel room and the court dismissed the evidence saying they might have been morphed.
2. Scenario 2 – Atul Shubash is dead and his wife is enjoying corporate life with no consequences
3. Scenario 3 – The Raghuvanshi girl who killed her husband is out of jail just after serving 6 months.
4. Scenario 4 – The Goa CEO woman who killed her kid so that her husband wouldnt get to see him, never went to jail.
In India, being a woman is a free license to commit any kind of crimes with 0 consequences. None of the criminal laws are gender neutral. There’s always differential punishment and women can take advantage of that at will. You know your wife well. If you think she is not being accountable or regretful of her actions, she has already contemplated all the consequences and prepared for everything. Sit and talk with her for an amicable solution. You can go for divorce, but you are gonna lose more than what you get.
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