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MHi.
I (27F) have been married for almost 4 years now. Me and my husband (34M) have been living under the same roof but in different rooms for almost one year. I don’t have any kind of a relationship with him at all. I don’t even want it anymore. I’m very exhausted.
I don’t want to be in this marriage anymore as this marriage has become a nightmare. He treats me like shit everyday. He’s been sexually, mentally and physically abusive to me. He clearly doesn’t want to be with me, but doesn’t want to be the one to say it or go ahead and file for a divorce. I clearly told him I don’t want to have kids since I’ve already had a miscarriage in 2023. He, his family and mine are forcing me to have children. He also very recently called me a “baby making machine” and he’s threatening me.Please note that I am alone in this. My parents have disowned me since I’ve told them this is not what I want and my father has been doing anything in his way to make me stay in this relationship. He’s taken everything he’s given me for the wedding (a house and all the gold jewellery), which is not an issue at all, but he’s now threatening my job and blackmailing me that he’d put me on the road if I take a divorce. He says that his reputation is at stake, so I have to be in this, regardless of what happens.
Please advise what do I do here. I’m clueless and I really am scared for my life.
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PTo the lawyers here, can changing stance on having kids be grounds for divorce under cruelty or any other subsection?
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SDubious grounds. Precedents either way. Conservative judges believe it amounts to cruelty, progressive ones believe it’s free choice.
So it’s a gamble
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HThere are several NGOs and government agencies dedicated to supporting women facing abuse. You should reach out to a nearby organization for assistance. They can guide you through the process of filing for divorce and registering police complaints.
It is important to file a police complaint against your husband, his family, and, if necessary, your father. Remember, any jewellery or valuable items given to you at the time of marriage are considered your Stree Dhan and cannot be taken away by your husband or father. You have the legal right to reclaim them.
It is important not to get overwhelmed by emotional challenges. Prioritize your safety and well-being by filing a police complaint without delay. Seek protection orders and interim maintenance from your husband to ensure financial security and personal safety during this time. Taking these steps will empower you to regain control of your life.
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AI hope things get better for you!
I’m not a lawyer but I suggest working on your finances and plan to move out of wherever you are and start fresh. You will be alone, but the freedom you get and the diseases you’ll miss by getting out of this toxic relationship will be worth it. Remember that this isn’t the end, and your parents will come around eventually. For now, stay strong and do what you have to with a level mind. -
SThere are times when patience is needed, and there are other times when you’ve to do what’s best for yourself.
Divorce his ass, get a lawyer (offer them a percentage of the final settlement), get what’s yours, fairly.
Your husband does not yet realise how deep of a shit he’s going to be in.
Have faith in yourself, you can fight this, and come out of this as a better person. Anyone who doesn’t agree with you, ditch them (even your parents). Never ever talk to them again. They’re the ones who want you to get abused.
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BLawyer here, based in Delhi.
You are facing abuse and serious threats, and you have every right to leave this marriage. Physical, sexual and emotional abuse is cruelty under the law and is a valid ground for divorce. You can also seek protection under the domestic violence law, which can include orders for your safety, residence rights and protection from further harassment.
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SRight, but do make sure that the NGO is actually good. I tried to contact Kiran Bedi’s NGO by email but got silence (phones go unanswered) and emailed UN women and UNFPA but they too do not reply and on phone they said that yes there are several projects being run but the person who answered knew nothing about that nor gave any information on how to contact the relevant team. On the website ([https://asiapacific.unwomen.org/en/focus-areas/end-violence-against-women/essential-services-for-women](https://asiapacific.unwomen.org/en/focus-areas/end-violence-against-women/essential-services-for-women)) they have given all this and even more but hardly anything helpful
I even contacted a local NGO in the capital of the state where I live but that too was not much helpful… so it is very tough to find a good, reliable and accountable NGO …
My best wishes, I sincerely hope you find some way out. Try contacting some of your best friends, if they can help you in some way.
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SI hope OP reads this and finds help. India mai kaafi ajeeb tarah ka legal system aur NGOS. Har cheez mai sifarish ya paise chahiye hote hai
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Syes and even then u/No_Metal8806 it is not guaranteed that one will get help. I have tried both things, even when I contacted people on sifarish, they did not help much and where money is involved, the opposite party outweighs and offers even more money, so how much and till what extent can one counter that ?
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S[I’m NAL, But here’s what I found online.](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Q5uzN3MHujEnAeZuD1R2WZX8zIOyx7Co2_dBSDzKdJ4/edit?usp=sharing) Besides, I wanted to share this comment here on Reddit. But there seems to be a character limit.
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WGet a lawyer please . What are you waiting for? You will not be on road . He knows you are scared and he is just using that . Court will grant you maintenance.if you find an opportunity, grab your Aadhar and passport and run from your house . Very like this might end up in a rape if he wants baby from you
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SIf you have some proof of abuse then great if not then start recording proofs and collating it.
Please write down the “abuse” you’ve been through and some dates (even if vague) along with them.
Be as detailed and thorough as possible in this written account along with whatever photographic and video graphic and screen shots proof you may have.If you face any violent altercations in the future then please go to any nursing home or hospital and ask them to give you a medical report.
Medical reports from a government certified doctor and hospital are mandatory in this case.
Also note that generating such a report will also force the hospital to raise a medico-legal complaint with the local police station. In most cases the cops will just talk to you and it is upto you if you want to press charges or not.But you WILL need a lawyer. And that will cost money.
Outcome based payouts to lawyers is illegal and i wouldn’t reccomend a lawyee who tells you to pay after a desired outcome. -
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MSome parents do not deserve children, unfortunately your parents are one of those. Your husband will be even move abusive if you get pregnant bcoz that means he has more control over you. Also he has realized that your own parents does not care about you getting abused, so he does not have to stop.
You need to look at women support groups and look at moving by yourself to a pg or rent a room in a flat and even move cities if possible with a job in a different company.
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P1. Don’t agree to have a baby to sort things out. It will get worsened.
2. If you are financially independent, take a call to move out of the house and file a contested divorce on the grounds of cruelty – emotional and breakdown of the marriage [https://divorcebylaw.com/best-contested-divorce-lawyers-in-bangalore/](https://divorcebylaw.com/best-contested-divorce-lawyers-in-bangalore/)
To clarify further you can contact us directly [https://g.co/kgs/dHFj4EL](https://g.co/kgs/dHFj4EL)
**Disclaimer:** In the absence of all the facts of the case, the comments given may not be the best solution for your case. One on one consultation with a legal counsel/ advocate is advised to get better guidance.
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VHi, lawyer here. My sympathies with you for the position you find yourself in. My best wishes to you for going forward.
In so far as your marriage is concerned, both the spouses clearly don’t want for it to continue further. You should have a discussion with your husband and try for a mutual consent divorce. It ensures a no frills divorce process. However, if he is unwilling to do so, you will have to file for a contested divorce, and that is going to be both time and resource consuming and also liable to get dirty depending on the legal advice offered and the approach the parties take. Thus, my advice will be to push in any way possible for a mutual consent divorce.
Second, as far as your father is concerned, as it is not a legal matter, I can only offer general remarks. Also, I am not clear, how is your father in a position to take away your job. If you elucidate, I may be able to help.
In any event, you must trust yourself to be able to ensure job continuity or to find a new job at the earliest. Also, in a lot of cases, parents while originally against divorce, do eventually make their peace with it.
Hope this helps.
Best wishes.
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