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CHi all,
Me and my wife have been living overseas for the past 5 years. We visit India once every 2 years mainly to spend time with our parents. This is our second visit, and we planned a 1-month stay. My wife, who is 5 months pregnant, wanted to spend a week with her parents.
Her parents live in a house owned by her father. Her brother and his family live upstairs in the same house (rent-free) and don’t support her parents financially. In fact, her father still gives her brother pocket money as he has a low-paying job.
While my wife was staying with her parents, her brother and sister-in-law created a scene. They told her not to visit or talk to her parents and even threatened to beat her, despite knowing she’s pregnant. Her elderly parents are too weak and scared to argue with them.
We found out that the main reason for this behavior is that her father wants to divide his property (house, FDs, and a few plots) equally between my wife and her brother. Her brother and his wife are against this and want everything for themselves.
To make things worse, her sister-in-law’s family also came and threatened to stop us from leaving the country if my wife visited her parents again. They are clearly trying to isolate her and take control of everything.
My wife is mentally stressed and heartbroken that her own brother is acting this way. I tried to talk to them calmly, but they don’t want to listen or de-escalate. Her father confirmed that this behavior has been going on even before our visit.
We’re flying back overseas in a week, and we’re worried that her parents will be harassed or pressured even more once we leave.
My wife is wanting to fly back to India after the labour so she and the new born could spend time in India with our parents but I am really worried now if this will be a good idea at all.
I’ve never dealt with such family issues before. What can we do legally or otherwise to protect her parents and enable my wife to have relationship with her parents.
I don’t even know if it will be a good idea to take legal steps given me and my wife will be overseas and it will just be more trouble for my in-laws.
Any advice would be really appreciated.
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WYour FIL should do exactly what my aunt did and verbally tell your wife’s brother that he agrees with them and that everything will go to the son because your wife lives overseas and is married, has her own family, etc etc and THEN he (your FIL) should do exactly what he wants to do in terms of making sure your wife and BIL get 50:50 or whatever he wants to do AFTER his death.
Ideally he should give your BIL nothing due to this behavior but I don’t know how that would work.
They can’t come and fight with a dead person can they?
It’s pointless arguing and getting into legal battles with your BIL and creating more stress for your wife.If anything all of this is your In-law’s doing because they are still coddling a grown man.
In a nutshell, I’m saying that your FIL should tell his son whatever he wants to hear and then he should do whatever he wants to do with the assistance of a good lawyer.
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CThank you, this is a great advice and I could see my in-laws getting some peace with this approach.
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PThis is a bad advice in my opinion, will create legal precedent in BIL’s favour once he kabzaofy the immovable assets.
FIL should act like the father he is and tell his son to not be a little bitx and in terms of property my advice is do nothing as of now.
In case you are hindu your wife is the natural warris and is entitled to equal share in ancestral property and FDs.
If FIL wants to do a will that is okay but in case of only two child it’s not a strict necessity imo
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RYour FIL can execute a gift deed during his lifetime but make sure it’s registered or you can ask FIL to register a will ASAP clearly setting out the terms of division after his death, ideally after his passing his estate should be divided into 3 equal proportions (wife, daughter & son) but it is his wish as to how the estate should devolve upon his heirs. He can set out the exact terms and conditions. I would recommend you to video record these steps and save the digital record for sake of safety. Moreover, witnesses in case of a will should be parties who are neutral and reliable.
Since there’s a constant threat to your in-laws, they can just approach the police and file a complaint of harassment against the son, wife, her family. In fact, it’s not safe to live in such close proximity with the brother. Please make sure your FIL & MIL do not sign any papers, or are coerced into making any will etc. They should be careful in their steps.
This is just general advice, if you have to protect your estate and life, then your in laws will have to take the right steps in consultation with a lawyer.
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CThank you, great advice. However, I don’t think going to police complaint will give a fruitful solution to my in-laws. Especially since my wife and I will be overseas. I will still keep this in mind in case it is needed.
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PTell them to secure physical assets like jewelry and store it away in a locker. And don’t make BIL a nominee in any bank accounts, FD, PPF etc. Mom and dad should be each other’s nominees. Don’t let him access debit card, credit card, don’t give him OTP, and don’t even let him pay for OTT subscriptions etc from dad’s card.
Also, they need to take some steps to increase physical distance from the son. Maybe they could put up the property for repair so he will be forced to vacate?
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WIt’s better if your FIL assures your BIL that the properties will be distributed according to his wishes. They should hire a trustworthy lawyer to take the necessary legal steps to execute this properly. Assure them that you won’t interfere in the matter, so your wife remains safe. Let the lawyer handle everything discreetly, and inform them only after your wife’s delivery. Until then, allow the matter to remain pending.
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LThis is heartbreaking. No one should have to face threats and manipulation from their own family, especially during such a sensitive time like pregnancy. Your concern for your wife’s mental well-being and her parents’ safety is completely valid. It’s painful to see love and respect get twisted by greed. It might be worth quietly consulting a legal expert to explore protective options for her parents without escalating things.
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Bfirstly an elder abuse case needs to be filed against your brother and sister in law and her parents as well as harassment case for all of them threatening to kill your wife and child. I believe she also has grounds of domestic violence. You need to record all proof and go to court. You can’t just sit quietly and let it happen. You don’t know what will happen once you return to your country. They can literally kill your in-laws. It needs action now. You can’t just tell them okay they will get everything and accept they will not do anything behind your back because they will do everything considering they already do with your in-laws. Everyone needs protection here. Get a lawyer to evict them first and tell your father to stop paying them money and get restriction orders and security cameras installed.
You need to take actions instead of false words
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LI would advise your FIL to liquidate all his assests, get his wife and money and flee somewhere scenic. Maybe an assisted living facility for seniors. This should be done without informing anyone. Only local police should be sent a letter to inform them that they are leaving for their own safety since BIL is unstable.
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SYeah…the fact that your wife wants to spend time with a new born in a toxic environment is mind boggling to me.
If you guys are otherwise well off, I would suggest not engage in such discussions about the property split.
Please prioritize your mental health over property share. I have seen a lot of husbands getting dragged into family drama in wife’s family and they end up getting the blame.
It’s your father’s responsibility to make his son responsible and not you or your wife.
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ROne of my neighbor was a widower and same situation. When the son was out on a trip.. he sold his house to a goon builder and went away with all the money. We heard that he stays in some hotel and gets everything taken care of by staff.
When the son came back.. he was thrown out with all the stuff. Very well deserved.
The old man was rich.. so he had enough to spend on stay and food in hotel.
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