- This topic has 8 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 1 month, 2 weeks ago by
.
-
Posts
-
-
UHi, , I am a 39-year-old male. I have been living
separately from my wife for more than three years. We married in 2014 and have a child, for whom I won custody through the court.
We haven’t legally separated; we are just living this way for now. This relationship feels like dead weight that I no longer want to carry. The issue is that my wife refuses to grant a divorce, yet her conditions for returning are totally unacceptable to me. Most importantly, I cannot forgive her for what she did.
Additionally, while she used to live with her family, she moved out about a year ago and is now living elsewhere. I have no idea where she is, or whether she is living alone or with someone else.
What should I do? What should my approach be?”
-
-
-
UYou’re not stuck just because your wife is refusing a mutual divorce. Indian law gives you a clear path even without her consent.
Since you’ve already been living separately for over 3 years, you can file for a **contested divorce** under grounds like **cruelty** or **desertion** (desertion requires 2+ years of separation, which you already meet). You don’t need her approval for this—only proof.
Here’s a practical approach:
**1. File for contested divorce**
* Engage a family lawyer and file under the Hindu Marriage Act (assuming applicable).
* Use *desertion* as a strong ground since she left and hasn’t returned.
* If there were specific incidents (mental harassment, unreasonable conditions, etc.), add *cruelty*.**2. Address her unknown whereabouts**
* If you genuinely don’t know where she is, the court allows **substituted service** (like newspaper publication).
* If she still doesn’t appear, the court can proceed **ex parte** (without her side).**3. Child custody is already in your favor**
* Since you already have custody, that’s a strong point in your case.
* Just ensure you’re complying with any visitation or maintenance orders (if any exist).**4. Be ready for delays**
* Contested divorces can take time (1.5–3 years typically), especially if she appears and contests.
* But if she stays untraceable or unresponsive, it may move faster.**5. Financial/legal precautions**
* Keep records of separation (messages, lack of contact, etc.).
* Stay compliant with any maintenance obligations—non-compliance can hurt your case.**6. Avoid informal shortcuts**
* Don’t try to “force” a situation or rely on verbal agreements. Only a court decree legally ends the marriage.
In your situation, the law is actually on your side—you’ve already crossed the key threshold for desertion, and her refusal alone doesn’t block divorce.
We cover this in detail at Lawizer if you ever want a structured walkthrough – happy to help.
-
-
Uafter living separately for that long and already going through a custody battle it sounds like the marriage has practically broken down even if legally it is still hanging there the part that usually matters most now is how the long separation and lack of normal marital relationship can be shown because courts often end up looking at the actual reality of the marriage over time not just whether one side verbally refuses divorce also her moving away without you even knowing where she stays changes the picture further have there been any meaningful attempts at reconciliation in these last three years or has it mostly been parallel lives with only child related interaction left
-
-
UI will be honest! You filing a divorce case would immediately be met with cases under DV Act and other 125 CrPC proceedings (most likely)
I would advise filing it on the ground of cruelty but be ready for a long battle then! I am assuming the custody order must be of help since it has granted you the custody of a minor child. If your wife is unemployed, be even more prepared to contest long legal battles.
-
-
